...(SQUEAK........BAAAM)I suddenly felt hot sensation near my face and my body was unable to move .I was thinking what just happened right now then I saw my crush's sunshine like face then I remembered that just now I sacrificed myself to the person whom I loved unconditionally.(Ugh) that's pain a little bit but I was happy see him fine slowly my eye sight was getting dark slowly I started to see my past....

...I saw small but beautiful village near the cold flowing river actually that was my birth village.Even though I was born there it's been so long that I haven't been there.Then I saw little girl jumping and running around the field with joy.Then she suddenly fell down then started to cry.And young beautiful lady gave her hand and pulled her up then cleaned her wounds and gave her first aid.Suddenly I remembered that was young beautiful lady was mother at her young age.I never realized her to be that beautiful.Then that little girl must be me without doubt because I always make mess everywhere I go.But I also liked my childhood because I didn't have any hard feelings for anyone ,no studies,no home work,everyday what I did was play and play.Those were the days which I lost in the race of time but it is always stored in my beautiful memories.I used to have little cub and calf as my friends in my village. I also used to roam around the field with my dog his name was wild. I also miss him so much because he died falling from the Cliff when I was chasing him so that's what I regret.Then one day my parents decided to leave village and sattle in city for my studies.Then I remembered my grandparents who were crying in silence in one corner.After we came to city many things changed I got human child as friend I got chance to learn new things. I got admission very good and well known school.There I made many friends.Normally from the very beginning I used to have boys as friends rather than girls so I didn't get chance to be much feminine like other girls.I used to fight like boys in my childhood.I used to get inspiration to wear gents clothes in my childhood especially from two boy in my neighborhood whom I used to spend my most of the time with.I used to call one big brother and one mouse.We were like three angles of triangle, without one others are incomplete.It was really fun to play football in weekend with them....

...Big brother was very caring and loving ,he always used to make sure that me and mouse are not hurt before going home.He used to call me shorty.Mouse and I were the crackheads in our group.I was even more crazy than mouse.Every summer vacation big brother's father used to take us to swimming pool.It was like paradise to us to visit there......

... ...

... we used to visit many places according to the seasons.It was the best of the best memories.we used to have lot of fun together.I also remembered one very funny incident while we went to swimming pool one summer holiday.But big brother and mouse dived in the swimming pool then I silently sneaked in the changing room and hid their clothes whole day they searched here and there but they didn't found it.Then they asked me to return their clothes but I was little cunning in childhood so in exchange I asked them there all chocolates.As deal they gave me their chocolates to then I showed them the place where I hid their clothes but there was a slight mistake I mistakenly hid their clothes in dustbin in hurry and dust picking vehicle came and took all the waste.I got good scolding from my mother but I was still happy because they return home in their swimming suit....

...Next day they both got sick .I had to play alone for somedays.That day I realized how important that they were to me so after their recovery I apologized them for my mistake and promised never to that again.We again started to spend our days together.But one day big brother swifted to next city because of his father's job.The day before moving we cried at our fullest.I still remember the last word of big brother,"Even we may be far but this all the seasons that we spend together will always make us remind about our friendship." He was like gentleman but it was beyond my and mouse thinking capacity but I knew the meaning of those words when I became little matured....

...The friendship between me and mouse also didn't last long because after a year he also moved to next place after his mother and father divorce.He started to live with his mother.We were in same city but we were like unknown person passing by.Then I again became alone.But the things that I learned from them was still with me.I used to sit alone in my room all vacation.I tried to spend more time with myself.I used to talk less after that.I never smiled like back then.I was feared by every classmates because I used to have very serious face expression.I even didn't used to smile on very funny jokes.Then one day my class teacher she called my parents and asked them about my condition.After knowing about my condition in school my parents also gat scared that if there was anything wrong with me.They tried to do so many things to change me but that was useless....

...After a year a new student came in my class.She became my best friend.She was little shy and innocent for other people but once you get to know her you would feel that no one on earth is as talkative as her.She was just like me appearance and reality both are different as land and sky.........

...we literally became close.I started to mix with other group of students seeing that my teachers were relaxed but I was somewhat unhappy because I had friend only at school but after school I was again left all alone.Time passed my school performance was going better but socially I was lacking many things I didn't have good relationship with my neighbors.At home my routine was always the same.When I was at 13, a boy moved in our neighborhood.He was so attractive at the first glance.I just lost my mind as soon as I heard his voice and he was quiet good looking.He was the first boy whom I had feelings for.He was little older than me so I never dared to express my love for him so I just had crush on him.I knew that even I expressed my feelings to him he would definitely deny it because I don't match his standard.So I just crushed him from far.He used to go school little far than mine.His class used to end little late than ours.I used to wait for him but as soon as I see him I used to hide and used to follow him silently everyday.He used to go to practice taekwondo (a kind of self defense training).I used to see him practice every night on his rooftop.Then I started to smile a little.He became my reason to smile.I used to follow him while going school,while coming back from school.After that I started to mix up with my neighbors too....

...In school I used to smile like mad .One day my best friend by chance asked ,"Have you gone mad or you are in love or something.You have been smiling like mad for a week." Listening to her I felt so nervous,"Ha...ah! W.. What are saying(nervously)?".Then she came near me and whispered,"Then why are you blushing."After listening that I rushed out of the class.I even don't know what was going on with me I was breathing very fast.I also realized myself that there was some unwanted changes in me so I tried my best to suppress my feeling because it was literally age of attraction and also my exam was also coming up very soon.So I tried to focus on my studies but as soon as I see him, my concentration motivation,confidence every thing vanishes.I act like weirdo Infront of him so I had feeling that he hate me.But my parents were happy seeing some changes in my habit in the same time they were scared whether I may get hurt.Slowly my parents became close friend with his parents it was very normal to come and go each other house.But it was still little hard for me.His grandma used to like me very much.Whenever I used to go to market I always used to buy fruits for her because I lost my grandparents very early so I didn't had chance to experience their love....