At first when my life had started, I was loved and adored by everyone in my family. Of course thats what happens when your born your a baby, people are supose to think your adorable and cute. But as the years keep pass by and you keep growing people’s kindness against you, fade away. My family still pretends to love me when my friends are over at my house. But when there gone, my family don’t even realize I exist, actually they wish I wasn’t here. Ever since my brother passed away, my family wish it was me instead my grandma is actually the only one that likes me, that’s what people say. But she treats me the same.

I am finally 8 years old and I’m planning to go to go to second grade.

My friends always always invite me to there houses. Of course it’s fun, I get to enjoy something I never had, my friends mom’s treat me like there son I kinda wished sometime she was my mother. But she isn’t, my dad became an alcoholic which sometimes made him forget to pick me up from school. Just like the stories I saw in Tv I didn’t believe people actually got bullied, maybe because I never did, but like they say never say never. Pfff. What a joke they make right, when I got to third grade I started to get bullied because of my parents being late sometimes. My mom was a doctor well that’s what she said. My dad lost his job, which made our house disappear. Where our happiness was build, it’s all know gone. Know I have no friends, and my aunt started to take me to school. One night our house was set on fire. My mother didn’t make it out. Neither did my father. But I had. I still remember what the firefighters had promised me. “Don’t worry your parents would be fine”. But it was all a lie my parents didn’t make it out. Two funerals in one day. I feel like my life was depressing. I had some people at school who I would call friend fake friend’s, there like people I talk to then stop talking to. They would always say you don’t even know what depression feels like. What do they know about depression. People can’t tell what we feel nor what someone feels.

I’m know in high school. I live with my aunt but she treats me better than my mom. I still don’t understand, my life is better know but I don’t get it, I don’t feel the same I don’t get it. I guess life isn’t the same without parents. My aunt would always say boys don’t cry but, boys have to cry no matter the age nor the feeling. Girls at my school, there wasn’t none. Well for there wasn’t. All the girls liked me but for me I pretended they where something I didn’t like it wasn’t like I didn’t like them, I just guessed people have different taste. But life doesn’t end here.

There is still more to live. I got help from my aunt I took medicine do to my condition. I’m finally a happy boy I have some part time jobs and I’m just 17 years old. My name is Matzo. I love how god gave me chances. I had different paths and I choose the right one know it’s up to you wether my path still goes on.

“Hey Loser my name is Jacob”

Or maybe not……

It was just a sunny day outside, partly cloudy but not much sun. It look like it ready to rain. I was sitting near the window, the teacher would always teach but I would never listen I had one hand on the table and the other near my ear. I had good grades but then someone had knock on the door. Hello welcome. It seem to me that every one would move to our school every week. But it was normal, that’s what my aunt said. I didn’t really didn’t pay attention to the new kid. I didn’t really care. Even it was a girl or a boy I didn’t think they would of understand. I had no friends still but that didn’t stop me from being happy. Ring. The bell finally rang all the students walked over to there class mates. Some decided to talk to the new kid. I didn’t I noticed the clouds where getting darker, and found out I forgot my umbrella. My aunt didn’t live far away but she did live a few minutes away. As I laid my head towards the window I saw a girl running towards the school with her friends, which seemed pretty funny to me. Cause she was really wet. I looked away from the window and finally noticed the new kid, he had black hair, his smooth skin is what attracted others. His brown eyes. And a idol hairstyle, Which was pretty weird. Allot of girls liked him but he seemed to be a very quiet guy. Do to look in his face he didn’t like to be surrounded by people and neither did I. He sat one seat away from me. He looked like a gentleman in a sort of way.

He’s probably gay but I won’t let that get in my way. Said Lidia who was always attractive to boy but not the new kid. She was capable of doing anything to date him.

Since I didn’t have friends what was better then to listen to people talk. It wasn’t hard. But for the new kid it was I didn’t know his name yet. He seemed pretty annoyed. He stand up and walked away which left allot of people in shocked. I felt like walking to my locker and so I did, there was nothing else to do so might as well do that.

Matzo walked in the hallway heading towards his locker. When he opened his locker he turned to notice the new kid sitting in a bench. He didn’t know what to do. He decided to grabbed his stuff and just leave, but he also felt bad and decided maybe he should check on him and so he did.

I walked towards the bench to noticed that the new kid was gone. I felt delusional. So I walked back inside, I went to class but when I walked in, someone had already token my seat. It was the new kid. When he saw me he stand up. It’s like he knew I saw him. I walked towards him not being afraid of course, well maybe just a little. “Hey loser my name is Jacob nice to meet you”. Said Jacob. So if I had a chance to meet someone did it really had to be him. He was so arrogant. I didn’t replied. I decided to walk away and sit on his spot I put my hoodie on and decided to take a nap. He didn’t stop bothering me, he kicked the boy that was sitting next to me to move somewhere else, so he could take his spot. I didn’t seem to know why the girls found that attractive. He started saying why is did I ignore him I didn’t pay attention to him but then I got annoyed so I started talking to him. K started to explain my self why I didn’t talk to him at first he then grabbed my hand, and told me that we should run away together. Which was pretty awkward. He took me outside where it was about to rain, he then grabbed my hips and told me that he loved me. I didn’t believe him of course I was sure I wasn’t gay but his eyes were so innocent, his smooth skin attractive me. But I just told him I wasn’t gay. He burst out laughing. Saying he wasn’t gay either but he did wanted to kiss me which confused me. He then told me sit down, we talked for a while. Then I noticed he was a pretty great guy. So I guess that’s where I stared a new friendship.

…

As me and Jacob talked more we became friends. We weren’t that talkative but we did talk so that was good. Alright so I told you about me tell me about you Jacob.

Huh umm what I live a normal life there’s nothing to tell.

So your lying to me know I though we where friends you know what it’s alright I respect your decision let’s go. Said Matzo

You know what it’s fine I’ll tell you.

I was just a little kid my mother and my dad always loved each other I was born before they could of gotten married, when it was the day of there wedding a women had stopped the wedding and ruined everything. As I got older my parents stop seeing each other, I always wish that women never interrogated in our lives. But I can’t change the past, the present does. I was 10 years old when I found out that my parents had gotten into what seemed to me a divorced, there wedding was cancelled and there relationship was too. Once I turned 12 my dad left the house for hurting my mom I couldn’t defend her, my mom lives her life giving herself out she had gotten addictive to drugs and drinking so much, I couldn’t stop her, it wasn’t enough yet they took her to a doctors house where she stayed at and I never saw her then. I started to stay with my father who had hurtes my mother, he seemed to have changed he explained the reasons he hurt my mother, I didn’t believe him, when I turn 14 he had a child with that women who had ruin our family. As older as I got the attention when towards the new born kid who was know my brother. Once I turned 17 I moved out to live on my own I don’t have much but it was better than living in a house where I didn’t feel like I belonged. As Jacob kept telling his story, Matzo felt bad so he had stopped him he had similar stuff to that in his life so he hugged him, without thinking.

Later the days passed Jacob started to show his feelings, but then someone had gotten between me and him. Someone who wanted to be by his side to.

Hey Jacob your not really gay and I know it I don’t believe what people say. Said Lidia

Lidia just got in the way she believe Jacob was a good gentleman that she would soon be taking him as her boyfriend. Jacob in the other hand had no feeling against Lidia. She was pretty but that was all she just wasn’t good enough for him. He didn’t like her enough he had someone in mind already. But I didn’t know who it was yet. So why do you dressed like that Jacob. Dress like what. Matzo explained, to Jacob how he liked the way he dressed like a gentleman but, didn’t like the way he didn’t hanged out with nobody accept him.

Jacob explained that not always someone has to dress the style there friends where dressed. Matzo found that confusing but understand what he had said. Later that day Matzo and Jacob went to there class together where Lidia was waiting to make a confession. Matzo decided to go to his locker and asked Jacob to wait for him in class. Jacob walked to class without Matzo. Matzo was trying to get his journal, but he didn’t seem to find it. He then received a text from Jacob saying tHt his notebook was in class. When Matzo has arrive he found something surprising. Lidia has already confessed to Jacob and didn’t wait for an answer she took his. Look as a yes, and kissed him. I didn’t quite knew why I was feeling hurt but at least the rumors where not true he wasn’t gay after all. Jacob couldn’t stop her later on the teacher had walked in and told everyone to sit down. Matzo sat down and couldn’t forget what he had seen, he wanted to know an explanation, was he or not gay. Jacob didn’t sit near Matzo today, Lidia took his stop, sooner or later the class was over and every student had left accept Lidia and Jacob. Lidia was forcing Jacob to kiss her but he just kept pushing her away. Later on he had explained that he didn’t feel anything for her and that it wasn’t nice to kiss him. Cause he didn’t feel nothing for her while they kissed, he then walked away and left Lidia alone. Jacob started to look for Matzo cause he probably was mad cause he didn’t explain. He had found him on the same place they met. He told him that they needed to talk, but Matzo said the same thing back he wanted to know why Lidia was with him. “Hey look I’m sorry, but she kissed me I didn’t like her I dong know why she kissed me actually I don’t even care anymore” said Jacob. Matzo then had told Jacob that he wanted to know if he was gay or not. Jacob got surprised, he never though of his feelings and the people he might like, he answered with a simple I don’t know. Matzo was just tired of not knowing anything about Jacob. Jacob replied “ I want to know but I don’t know”. Matzo then got closer to him and told him how do you feel when I get closer to you how do you feel when I touch you waist and pull you next to me huh how do you feel. As Matzo said those things he made Jacob feel weird. Jacob pushes Matzo and said “what the heck are you doing”. See you like girls next time I ask you this question you answer me right. Jacob grabbed his hand and told him that he felt something when he had pushed him when he had gotten closer to him. Matzo turned to him and got closer to him again. Look I don’t know what you feel or not but I don’t really mind knowing tomorrow if you feel like it you can tell me. Later that moment class had already started and Jacob and Matzo where not there. Jacob started to blush and looked at him but then looked away cause he didn’t want him to see. Matzo kept telling him to look at him in the eyes which he didn’t listen. After a while Jacob got closer to him and kissed him. Matzo was surprised that he was being kissed by a boy. Sooner or later Matzo pushed him away, and ran. Jacob went to class and then went home. His aunt told him to eat and that he should invite his friend over, but Matzo just kept ignoring her.

Yeah he did steal my first kiss but know I didn’t know what I like. I was confused but later that day I had forgotten about that kiss he had gave me.

Ugh why did he run away. Said Jacob. He grabbed some wine and started to get drunk. Later that day he called Lidia and told her to come over. He didn’t mean didn’t mean to call her but at that point he didn’t care anymore he had allot of mixed feelings. Lidia didn’t arrive so he decided to call Matzo instead and when he did he hanged up cause Lidia had arrive and accidentally left his voicemail on. Lidia has notice he was drunk and wanted to kiss him but she decided not to. Jacob got closer to her and saw Matzo figure take over Lidia. He then started to kiss her and ended up in bed with her. When matzo opened the voice message he had heard a girls voice so he decided to come over. On the other hand Jacob and Lidia where on the bed Lidia was the one that started to kiss him but sooner or later he fell asleep and left her with her choices. Matzo has arrived and saw then together he then woke Jacob and noticed he was quite drunk he told Lidia to leave and told her that what had happen today needed to be forgotten he only did this because he was hurt. Lidia in the other hand kept saying that he loved her and that he even said they where dating. Matzo replied saying that she could think stuff but he knew they where never going to happen. Lidia then left and Matzo was left alone with Jacob he decided to sleep in the couch while he woke up. He didn’t seem mad cause what had happened between them was just a little mistake. As Matzo slept in the couch. Jacob was left in bed sleeping.