I don't know what happened, one moment I was reading that damned book and the next moment I was inside it.

Suddenly my seven years of well-made and maintained body shrunk into a bloated peach!

I never thought that there would be a day when I would be without him; I just can't imagine my little brother is no more. It had become a constant all these years, especially in the morning.

But now… I don't even want to go there.

I was 185 cm long, I could change the battery of my wall clock without a stool, and now, I can't even touch the top rail of the door!

Is this because I made fun of my short best friend? If so, I swear I will walk on my knees from now on, but for the love of all holy, let me go back… I didn't even finish watching my favourite nail-posh video.

Yeah, I like nail art, sue me.

I was still freaking out when I heard a light knock.

"Madam Edith? Are you ready?"

"N-no… I need a minute." I said.

What do I do? What do I ducking do?!

"Call my moth… I mean, please call my mother-in-law. Please?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Oh no… I can't go through this. I can't, I won't sleep with that douche.

Sleeping in this universe is deadly. Literally.

I can't believe my luck, I didn't only transmigrate, but I transmigrated as a girl, into a place where my ultimate future was to die after giving birth, again and again, and ducking again!

I, or more precisely, this body was the ultimate cannon fodder, whose role was to:

I, the ugly but rich duckling, meets the ML

Falls in love- one-sided

Discovers that Douchband was already in love with an infertile and skanky MC.

Basically Rich ML was a coward who couldn't marry without the assurance of an heir. Yup.

Realises that all the dreams were for not

Have hateful sex

Get pregnant

Pop-out a kid

Then I took poison. Yup.

ML feels guilty, depression yada yada

ML raises the kid alone before he meets the MC again

ML pretends to be self-righteous before a big change occurs

Boom! Happy ending.

And not to forget, a white ducking flower on my grave!

The biggest catch? Turns out that the reason why the MC couldn't conceive was the deficiency of Vitamin B12, and after a course of Vitamin shots they were able to have triplets. Yup.

Really? I would rather shoot myself directly than go through labor, pop a child and die- for no ducking reason!

Well, I still possess the unmatched knowledge of cliché transmigration novels and have no need to be told that everything would be fine as long as I follow the script. I just need to set my douchband with the skanktress and voila! A very alive and breathing me would be able to go shop for malfunctioning prams for their triplets baby shower.

I was brought back from my master plan when I felt a hand on my forehead.

"Edith, my sweet daughter in law, you are okay, right?"

In this ducked up novel, only the mother-in-law was the one who actually cared a little about my character.

"No mother, I don't feel so good," I said, with squinting eyes and jerky body.

But before I could take my act to the next level I was enveloped in an embrace.

"Oh my! Should I call the doctor? What am I saying!? I must call the doctor."

"Mom, I mean mother, there's no need, you need to chill out a little."

"I should chill out. What am I doing? You are sick, and here I am making a fuss like this. Oh god! What if it's an incurable virus?" with that, she started crying all over me.

I wanted to really, really laugh out loud… not only that I wanted to pinch her cheeks.

Only this woman would cry over you after reaching such an absurd notion over a small thing.

"No mom, I am fine, just a little exhaustion, nothing major," I said while patting her head.

Even though she was snotting all over me, I was feeling warm inside.

I haven't been with my family in ages, my family was extremely orthodox, and they couldn't understand that I liked a chiseled chest as well as bouncy boobs. I was an abnormality for them.

"Oh, my baby! Do you want a back rub? Hot chocolate? Weed?" I couldn't help but splutter at that.

"N-no mom, I just need some peace and alone time," I said, in a hushed voice.

"Ah, okay then. You just rest; I will prepare some chicken soup for you!"

With the click of the door, I jumped out of the bed and ripped off my joke of a dress and the bra. What was even the point of wearing these contraptions? Let your body free girls!

With finally having the proper airflow, I gulped a lungful of air and sat down to device the master plan to get my husband to bang his ex.

The clothes flew right and left as I stood in the luxurious room-more like a suit, I felt rich, filthy rich.

Although I was still not over the shock of becoming a girl, getting married, and the possibility of a dark future. I could still appreciate the gleaming diamond on my finger and the fluffiest slippers under my feet.

Moving around the room, I experimentally jumped on the couch, and OMG the couch was 10 times

comfortable than my old life bed.

My world view took a whole new perspective.

I swear even the dustbin looked like a showpiece. Ridiculous but true.

It was a startling realisation when I understood the level of mediocrity of my previous life.

I wonder what's the net worth of my dear douchband.

I was still musing over things when the door was burst open and he entered.

For a few seconds, the only sound that could be heard was of mosquitoes.

Then I looked down toward my glowing girls and then again I looked up to make sure I wasn't imagining things.

"Ahhh…. You knucklehead, haven't you even got the basic manners of knocking the ducking door before entering someone else's room?"

Not only this ducker was shameless, but he also casually looked at my nude body as if it was normal, before getting back to his phone.

While this body didn't possess even an iota of hotness, still, was I so unappealing that he wasn't even a bit affected.

I wasn't angry, or furious, I was downright poisonous.

"Well, this is my bedroom."

"You shameless…"

"OH!" I looked at the door only to find my Mother-in-law's crimson face.

"Oh dear, I shouldn't have come here, heheeheheheh…"

With that she flew, that's right, she ran out like a bat out of hell,

That was a disaster.

"You! Next time knock or else you won't appreciate the consequences."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I am warning you. I don't believe in mindless threats."

"Just because my mother worships you doesn't mean I will bend over backward for you." He claimed.

"Yeah? I don't give a duck even if you bend forward."

'Stupid barbarian duck' I muttered before entering the shower.

Seriously why would someone even like that asshole? I just spent a few seconds with him and it feels like I have run through a red chilly hurricane.

Something is definitely wrong with my generation.

Looking up I again gaped at the view in front of me, the bathroom was bigger than my bedroom and the ridiculous thing was that it looked homelier than my shitty bedroom.

Why would someone install a T.V in the bathroom, not just that but a full-fledged lounge was there situated in the side? And I nearly coughed blood when I saw a majestic Jacuzzi adorning the center.

Just how rich were these people? There was even a mini bridge attached to a Jacuzzi.

Why would you spend so much on a bathroom? What are you trying to achieve here? Are you so rich that you don't even know how to properly spend them?

I muttered thousands of curses, as I remembered how I used to survive on Ramens and bathe in dingy communal baths while doing dog-hard part-time jobs to finish my education.

And not to mention the even shittier desk job to pay for student loans and the monthly installment of the second-hand rusty car.

Life was harsh and unfair, I now understand this more than ever.

Why was I not born with silver spoon like the Douchband of mine?

He not only gets the money but also looks and from what I know of the novel clichés- the brains!

Just what did I do in my previous life? I didn't possibly have offended god or something right?

Heck, even now I am just a measly side character.

Just as I was passing the mirror I stopped dead in my track.

"What the duck? What is this? I left ice-cream, chocolate cake, and ducking diet coke to end up like this?"

The reflection in front of me was horrifying. I wanted to cry, not just cry but howl my kidney out. I was not only short, but I looked like a hospital sheet and an extra-large hospital sheet.

"NOooo… why?" I didn't have many things in my previous life, I was an average guy with average IQ and money, but what I did have was a well-maintained body. It was my variety of hard work and savings.

I just felt violated, disrobed of my basic civil liberties.

"No. I won't accept this. Even if my character is a cannon-fodder, she would be a sexy as hell and hotter than eggs cannon-fodder."

If dying was unavoidable, a notion which I highly doubt and abhor, I will die in a Gucci dress with Channel perfume!

"My douchband, just you wait!"