Something changed there...

Now I don't know beautiful is happening I don't know what it is... I'm smiling sincerely now, a normal person with all his trivialities and ridiculousness with his stupid laughter never wears a mask of cold..

Is the path of life starting right for me ..? Disappointment... Feeling of despair and failure... Bad feelings that lived with me for a lot of time... Hours? Days? Or years, I can't count them.

Only question arises now, will it disappear??! Will it vanish and vanish, as I fell before in the same place and the same hole? The only thing I believe in is that I will be fine, and that this is just a negative fantasy that wants me to fall.. Lies that will end as I started Just a scary nightmare at dawn that disappears..

I live with a new heart and a different feeling about others... Now get out of the middle, get away from the corners... and the folds of the parallel world... Their terrifying voices dim me..

I'll get back to you, mom.

And at the end of the night again, for the beginning of a new morning, I wanted to write, a pen... and some of the yellow papers surrounding me, a sheet of two and three.... Then it was thrown into the trash. I can't ask for life from life!!!!!!!! I want it, I will not lie, and claim strength in its aftermath. And also after that, I despaired of something clear to everyone, I had a fever at the second hour at night, and severe joint pain, I could not stand until I left the room door, I picked up a few oxygen pellets.I wet my throat with drops of water, my body sweating completely and I couldn't even call someone, I'm far from her, as if they put shackles between my wrists that make me fall without moving and trying. And the treasure that I don't sell in exchange for owning the world... It's my cure when sick... And then I remembered her magical hands as if she was a great doctor... Haha, and when I woke up in the morning as if I wasn't crying at night, I find her hands wiping over my hair. .. She wakes up and says the pain is still, How are you,! My happiness at that time?? Did you see someone asking me about my condition?!!!... When such situations happen to me, she puts me to sleep in her lap and cry then... Those moments of weakness become strength.. .

...As a girl I will not fail... I need to cry... I need seclusion inside the room and a lot of silence but I didn't fail... That's what my dear girl used to say when I cried . .... It's all of this and more. I never exaggerate. When despair marginalizes me and I see myself opposite to the mirror with all the dark circles and yellowing of the face, you hurt like me and more.. when those wrinkles climbed up your face and waved at me with burning.. And I'm still collecting what's already scattered from my body for you... And now I'm laughing at luck. From love... from lies.. and the eagerness of the madmen... the slogans of psychiatrists,, and a barrage of stabbings, drop me in your lap, my homeland and my homeland. Life is from my memory... and you were with me in the form of a letter of apology from this naive world.. and then I knew that I had neglected you mommy...

It's just that accumulation in your mind..really nothing to worry about. Do not call me sad.. I am not sad as long as I am under God's mercy.. I really don't need anyone's pity. Do not call me sad..because it is just an eloquent analogy..there are two paths of happiness and sadness..don't be confused about your affairs,they are two or a third for them,either a stay that pleases you or a separation that enriches you.There is no consolation when the solutions are at all.. Don't stop at disappointment or that damned sadness, and don't care about someone who doesn't appreciate you. Don't tell me I love you and you don't like my flaws 👉👉 At least try to fix them...I feel that the butterflies that fly in the minds of the world will suffocate and die??!! And that your imaginary forests burned themselves for you.. in solidarity with your weary soul.. all the ashes will willingly guide you to scatter them in the gardens of your soul.. so that your death may sprout.... But the truth, my friend, is just words. You are very strong. And the second truth that everyone is ignorant of is close to your Creator and no evil will be caught 👉👉 Happiness does not leave with anyone, tell the idiots about it..