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Stop Bothering Me, Emperor

CHAPTER 1 – BURIED ALIVE WITH THE DEAD

In the winter of Jing Yuan’s seventh year, on the third day of October, the snow was falling heavily.

 

“What are you people so frightened for? If he’s not cured, each and every one of you will be buried alive with him!” The voice of a man that still sounded a little young and childish echoed within the emperor’s chamber. He turned back and sobbed in grief, “Elder brother…”

A man lay on the imperial bed with both eyes closed tight. His face that was of matchless handsomeness was now shaded pale with sickness.

 

Even so, his whole body still emitted an unconcealable imperial dignity that demanded respect. This person was the emperor of this dynasty, His Majesty Yu Jin Tang, the emperor of the era of Jing Yuan.

 

The emperor of Jing Yuan ascended the throne at 25, and even though he had only been emperor for 7 years, His Majesty had done all he could to make his country prosperous.

 

When the Huns attacked last May, the emperor personally led the army to fight against the attackers and was able to drive them back over 300 li. The whole nation jubilantly celebrated his feat. And so, when the news of the emperor’s severe injury reached them, the army couldn’t help but rush back to the capital.

 

Within the emperor’s chambers, outside the hall for state ceremonies, the long jade staircase glowed greyish white under the cloudy skies. The slowly falling snow carpeted the surface of the stairs, and yet no one took the initiative to clean it up.

 

Armored imperial guards stonily stood along the sides of the staircase, giving the already heavy atmosphere an even grimmer feeling.

 

The dynasty of Great Yu was at its prime, and for it to suffer such a sudden catastrophe…  Not only was the younger brother of the emperor sobbing painfully on his knees, outside the hall, even the general that brought the emperor back couldn’t stop the tears from pooling within his fierce eyes.

 

The emperor had no sons, but he had appointed his younger brother as his heir and successor early on. However, the emperor’s younger brother was still young in age and if His Majesty were to be unable to make it through, everyone was afraid that the Great Yu dynasty could fall into a precarious state.

 

Because of this reason, the general couldn’t refrain from spitting on the man that was tied against the dragon-wreathed column just outside the hall. Even after that, he still felt that his wrath hadn’t subsided, and the general raised his fist to punch him.

 

“A scholar would rather die than be humiliated. I, Zhang Xiao Ren, wholeheartedly only have the best interest of our country in my mind. Despite that, why do you raise your fist against me?”

 

The man tied against the dragon-wreathed column wore the court dress of a civil official, and just by looking at the intricate design of the dress, one could tell that it was of high quality. He seemed to be around 40 years old, and he held his chin up, firm and unyielding.

 

“For the good of the country? You’re the one who plotted with the Huns and tried to assassinate the emperor!” With bloodshot red eyes, the general punched Zhang Xiao Ren in his face, wiping that serious and proud expression off his face.

 

“Pah,” Zhang Xiao Ren spat out a mouthful of blood, “The emperor was too obstinate in his own arbitrary path. He had to make some male his empress, going against the heavenly principles! I did this for our nation, our…” Before he could finish his words, the general punched him again on his solar plexus.

 

“Clang!” The sound of clashing armor resonated within the area, startling the soldiers that were lost in their sadness and wrath. Everyone in the vicinity raised their heads dazedly to look at the origin of the sound.

 

The armed imperial soldiers that were standing on both sides of the staircase knelt down one after another. At the end of the jade staircase, stood a man in a yellow, phoenix-patterned, wide-sleeved robe. The man climbed the steps one at a time, slowly going up.

 

The man was young and elegant, possessing clear and bright features as well as a body like tall bamboo. Even as the greyish light from the cloudy skies shone upon his slightly pale, handsome face, it couldn’t conceal his beauty.

 

“Paying respect to His Highness the Empress!” The general immediately knelt down in greeting, but Zhang Xiao Ren beside him closed his mouth and sniffed disdainfully instead.

 

The person who had arrived was the very first male empress since the founding of the Great Yu empire—Song Xiao.

 

He had passed the provincial civil service examination at the young age of 14, and participated in the metropolitan examination at the age of 17. Because of his overwhelming talent at such a young age, he became a Zhuang Yuan[2] that was noticed by the previous emperor and rose to become the vice minister of the ministry of revenue in his early twenties.

 

He had a limitless future, and even the always frigid Zhang Xiao Ren acknowledged his talent. But two years ago, because of an imperial edict, the vice minister became an empress…

 

His Highness the Empress didn’t pay any mind to Zhang Xiao Ren’s disrespect, and unlike the usual, didn’t return the greetings of the general. Instead, he maintained his even and unhurried steps, walking into the imperial chamber.

 

The room was filled with medicinal fragrance, and 13 imperial physicians were kneeling with their foreheads on the ground, not uttering a single word. Wearing the apricot yellow uniform of the crown prince, the imperial brother knelt before the dragon bed with his head buried in the blanket, his expression could not be ascertained.

 

A bony hand slowly reached out from under the bright yellow cover and moved to pat the emperor’s younger brother’s head. “You’ve memorized it?”  A low, deep and pleasant voice spoke up, not sounding feeble in the least.

 

“Uuu….” The younger brother raised his head and nodded at his elder brother. When he felt the presence of someone behind him, he slowly turned his head back to see the empress standing next to some imperial physicians, face devoid of any feelings. He stood there, silently, not speaking or moving forward.

 

Song Xiao, who was talking to an imperial physician in a low voice, felt the gaze of the two brothers on him, so he too turned his head to look at them.

 

Although the emperor’s face was still ashen, it was better than how it had been. The paleness had now receded, even having some semblance of color on it. At the very least, the emperor looked more spirited than the pale-faced Song Xiao.

 

“… His Majesty’s old disease isn’t cured yet, and the weather of the northern wall is severely cold. Not to mention, the arrow managed to damage his heart. We are powerless to help him….” The head of the imperial physicians shakily said, knees to the ground.

 

Song Xiao raised his hand slightly, stopping the imperial physician from speaking any further.

 

“Leave us alone, I… cough cough… have something to say to the empress.” The emperor started to cough before he even finished his sentence, the vibration of his cough affecting the injury on his chest, and a thin line of cold sweat appeared above his brows.

 

“Elder brother!” The younger brother of the emperor wanted to rush over to support him, but he was waved away, so he could only walk out with the rest while turning his head back worriedly with each step he took.

 

The emperor leaned back against a thick pillow and watched as Song Xiao came closer step by step. The scene in front of him started to blur, and for a moment he saw Song Xiao wearing the uniform of a Zhuang Yuan, smiling proudly. Another blink and he saw him wearing a bright red phoenix robe, both eyes full of trepidation but still trying to act calm…

 

After blinking his eyes rapidly, the days of spring at Lu Ming feast[3], the red candles of the bridal chamber all faded away, and the only thing that remained was his ever delicate and pretty face, gazing silently at him.

 

“Does it hurt?” Song Xiao slowly raised his hands and touched the part of the bandage that has been dyed in blood, fingers quivering slightly.

 

A warm and strong hand reached forward to tightly grip onto Song Xiao’s. After a moment of silence, he suddenly said, “I have written my imperial edict, you have to give me a burial with the living!”

 

Song Xiao raised his head and silently stared at him. There is an almost scarlet glint within the emperor’s deep dark eyes, stubbornness obvious within those frenzied eyes.

 

On the year that he turned 22, ever since the Lu Ming banquet where Yu Jin Tang saw that Zhuang Yuan with his face full of smiles, he had decided to make him his empress.

 

Since it was impossible without the throne, he went ahead and snatched the throne for himself. Even as his relatives opposed him and his courtiers threatened him with death, saying that the emperor is capricious, causing internal disturbance during times of foreign aggression, he went ahead and quelled the country, driving away the Huns.

 

Now, with him on his deathbed, how could he be willing to let go of the love that he exhausted everything in order to obtain.

 

“Since Your Majesty wishes for my death, if I were to not die, it would be disloyal.” Song Xiao lowered his eyes, not feeling the slightest surprise at the fact that the emperor wished for him to follow even in death. The emperor had always been this kind of person, no matter what he did, he never asked for Song Xiao’s opinion, but made the decision for him instead.

 

The emperor frowned slightly, tightly gripping onto Song Xiao’s hand. A sharp pain spread from his chest, his face starting to pale, losing the color that was there before. As his strength slowly faded together with the pain, he stubbornly stared at Song Xiao and replied hoarsely, “You are mine, and can only be mine alone!”

 

Because of the tight grip, those slender fingers began to turn white, and a ring of purple appeared on Song Xiao’s wrist. And then, it started to loosen slowly, before falling lifelessly onto the yellow sheets with a thud.

 

Song Xiao absent-mindedly grasped onto that unmoving hand, feeling a suffocating numbness starting to spread through his whole body. He wheezed three times before slowly getting his breath back.

 

Slowly, he removed the pillow behind the emperor for him to be more comfortable, and carefully smoothed out the emperor’s messy hair.

 

“Yu Jin Tang, did you die just like that?” Song Xiao raised a finger and softly caressed the face that was now very pale. “I have just become the empress, and you haven’t even given me this year’s salary…” It was you who told me the salary of an empress is higher than that of a vice minister, that was the reason why I agreed to marry you.

 

He spoke silently, again and again by the bedside. After the realization that that person would never be able to answer him ever again dawned upon him, Song Xiao stood up, and took the double-edged sword that was hanging on the wall.

 

Mo Ye is the name of this sword, something the emperor found accidentally beyond the great wall. According to the legends, it is a sword of the gods, and if placed within the imperial chamber, it could repel evil spirits and misfortune.

 

“Shiiiing–” The removal of the blade from its sheath made a sound like a dragon’s cry, and the light reflected on its sharp blade blinded Song Xiao for a moment. He wielded the sword and positioned it by his neck.

 

“Brother-in-law, you can’t!” The imperial brother pushed the door open with a loud bang, and rushed over as fast as an arrow to remove the blade from Song Xiao’s hands.

 

“Oh, Your Majesty!” The general who rushed in together immediately threw himself by the imperial bed, kneeling down with a loud thud, and started to cry loudly.

 

The supervisor-in-chief eunuch Cao presented them a box, and the imperial brother held the sword in one hand while giving the box to Song Xiao with his other hand. With his eyes still red, he said, “Brother-in-law, this is the imperial edict. You should be the one who read it out.”

 

Song Xiao wanted to take back the sword, but the younger brother was skilled, definitely not someone a frail scholar like him could take on. He spared a glance to the soldiers standing guard outside before looking back into the imperial brother’s pair of determined eyes. This person is now the new emperor, and he couldn’t disobey, so he could only extend his hands to take the imperial edict within the box.

 

“I ascended the throne at 25, and have worked day and night for the good of my country, not one thing left incomplete. In my seven years of ruling, there has been no strife within the country, no trouble with our relationship with countries other than mine, and I was able to drive away the enemies from the north, bringing peace to the land. And yet I feel that I have let down the heavens and earth, let down my forefathers…” Song Xiao stood at the front of the chamber, reading the words on the imperial edict one by one, word by word. These were the words of Yu Jin Tang from the bottom of his heart.

 

Hundreds of officials kneeled by the stairs, listening to the clear and strong voice of the empress, and started to cry.

 

“…. Unfortunately, I have no sons, and the one to succeed me is my younger brother Jin Lin. My brother is 15, still young and inexperienced, so I appoint empress Song Xiao as Prince of Duan Hui to act as the regent to assist the new emperor…” That person had already planned everything out for him. As for the emperor telling him to bury himself along with him, perhaps it was a last minute regret the moment when the emperor saw him.

 

Song Xiao slowly closed the imperial edict, raised both hands above his head, kneeled down and submitted to the new emperor.

 

“Brother-in-law, look, elder brother didn’t say anything about you being buried alive along with him!” After reading through the imperial edict, the new emperor went to help Song Xiao up, looking at him with eyes full of hope, his baby face still tear-stained.

 

Song Xiao slowly nodded, “I know.” He turned his eyes to look at Zhang Xiao Ren who was tied against the dragon-wreathed column.

 

“Hmph, he went against the will of the heavens, deviating from the yin and yang relationship, yet still talks about not living up to his forefathers!” Zhang Xiao Ren knew that he won’t be able to die a natural death, and so he let out his true self openly.

 

“Zhang Xiao Ren, I ask you, what is loyalty? What is righteousness?” Song Xiao asked softly, snatching the sword back.

 

“You did not care for the safety of this country, plotted together with our enemy, and assassinated our emperor. Is this your so-called loyalty? You caused the death of a wise ruler, not considering the well-being of the citizens, this is your so-called righteousness?”

 

Zhang Xiao Ren’s pupils dilated, but he still left his neck bare.

 

“The current peace and prosperity of our country are all because of his hard work. The only thing that Yu Jin Tang ever wished for was to spend the rest of his life together with a vice minister of the ministry of revenue. He has done so much for the world, and yet why won’t the world allow him to be happy!”

 

Song Xiao became increasingly agitated as he spoke, and pierced the heart of Zhang Xiao Ren. Yu Jin Tang was a great emperor, always decisive in making his decisions, expanding the country’s territory. To say that he was Great Yu’s best emperor wouldn’t be strange at all. He was worthy of this honour!

 

With fresh blood splattering everywhere, the new emperor couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes. When he opened them, he saw that Song Xiao had already pulled out the double-edged sword and sliced his own neck with a swing of his sword.

 

“Brother-in-law!” The new emperor was too slow to stop him, and fresh blood had already dyed the yellow phoenix robe red.

 

Song Xiao stared at the cloudy skies above him, eyes blinking slowly. The first emperor of Great Yu should have him, this first empress, to be buried along with him. Otherwise, when he crossed to the netherworld and met the previous emperor, Yu Jin Tang who had always been poor at speaking would be punched by his father again.

 

On the seventh year of Jing Yuan, October the third, His Highness the emperor passed away, and not long afterward, His Majesty empress Song Xiao, was buried along with him.

 

CHAPTER 2 – REBORN

Slender fingers paused on the line “Both the emperor and the empress are buried within Zhao Mausoleum” for a long time. Song Xiao slowly heaved a sigh, closed his book, and pressed the button by the head of the bed.

 

Along with a deafening ring, a chubby nurse wearing a light pink dress rushed in asking, “Ready to pull out the needle?”

“Yes.” Song Xiao nodded, and raised his left arm that was connected to an intravenous tube, “Sorry to trouble you, Sister.”

 

“Aiyah aiyah! No need to be so polite!” Having such a delicate and fair-skinned young man calling her sister in a clear and bright voice, anyone’s heart would melt with adoration.

The chubby nurse smiled so wide that one couldn’t see her eyes. She skillfully unwrapped the medical tape and pressed a cotton ball on the insertion point with one hand while her other hand swiftly removed the needle. She then told the young man to press on it.

Song Xiao pressed down on the spot where the needle had just been removed from and nodded to the nurse in gratitude. As he waited for his arm to stop bleeding, he picked up the history book on the bed and started reading again.

 

“This young master of the Song house is different from what the news says.” The chubby nurse, who walked out with a face full of smiles, was pulled aside by another nurse who nodded her chin towards the person silently reading within the room.

“Aiyah, how can you possibly believe in such tabloids? Last year someone even spread the rumor that our hospital transfused a patient with AB blood type with A blood type on the left hand and B blood type on the right.” The chubby nurse curled her lip, turned to look at the young man in the room, and made a heart shape with both of her hands. “How could such a delicate lordling possibly be getting into fights? He was definitely bullied by somebody….”

 

After hearing the chubby nurse’s words, her colleague couldn’t help but shudder and rub her arms to get rid of the goosebumps before turning back to check the temperature of the patient in the next room.

After the nurse left, Song Xiao rubbed the point between his eyebrows. Again, he heard a word that he didn’t understand. What on earth was a “tabloid”?

 

Even after waking up for so many days, his head was still filled with a fog of confusion about the things around here. He rubbed his neck, thinking that he should have been on the road to the netherworld when he opened his eyes.

 

Just as he had decided to muster up some courage to find Yu Jin Tang on the Bridge of Helplessness[1], he had never expected that “the road to the netherworld” would actually be a small, white, square-shaped room. Opening his eyes, he saw a man dressed in a white robe, holding a flexible rope with a round metal shard at the end, walking around in front of him.

“Is it alright for me to ask if you are Bai Wu Chang[2]?” Song Xiao slowly sat up and greeted the person in front of him, thinking that the soft rope was the rope they used to tie up souls.

 

“Bai Wu Chang” seemed very shocked by what Song Xiao had said. After blanking out for quite a while, he put the round metal shard of the “soul rope” onto Song Xiao’s chest and removed it after waiting a while. He then used two fingers to take a look at his eyes and touched his head, asking, “Does your head hurt?”

 

It was now Song Xiao’s turn to be stunned. This person’s hands were warm and he could understand his words, except for the fact that he spoke in a very strange accent. Also, the men here were all short-haired and all the women were dressed very weirdly. Could it be that he was not dead, but had stumbled into the land of some barbarians instead?

“Here is…?” Song Xiao didn’t dare to say much, afraid that these people would notice that his accent was different from theirs. After all, barbarians were usually very hostile to outsiders.

 

“This is the Third People’s Hospital. You’ve been unconscious for 3 days. Are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere?” The man wearing a white gown asked him warmly.

 

Hospital? It would seemed that this man clad in a white gown was actually a physician.

 

“Hearing that he was awake, we came here to record his statement in writing.” As the physician was speaking, two young men wearing green short gowns walked towards him, holding a pen and paper in their hands. “Song Xiao, who hit you at that time?”

 

Song Xiao frowned slightly, what were these people talking about?

 

“The patient has just regained consciousness. Can’t you people come back another day?” Although the physician was unhappy, he still didn’t throw out the two people. Instead, he turned to Song Xiao and asked, “Do you still remember what happened before you fell unconscious?”

 

Song Xiao shook his head. He had used the Mo Ye blade to slit his own neck and had definitely died then. Yet the situation in front of him was very unusual, and he couldn’t just answer without careful consideration.

 

Song Xiao didn’t know until after the conversation that the two people in green were actually police officers, who were equivalents to the officials in charge of catching criminals within the government office.

 

After the physician and the officers questioned him continuously for half a day, they reached a very shocking conclusion: Song Xiao had lost his memories. He couldn’t remember where he lived, who his parents were, let alone remember how he was hurt. All he could remember was that his name was Song Xiao.

 

“Oh, you poor child!” Auntie Chen, who was employed by his family to take care of Song Xiao, hugged him and burst into tears.

 

Song Xiao stayed silent, not uttering a single word as he observed his surroundings for a few days. He requested Auntie Chen to buy some books for him to read and he realized a very unbelievable fact. The Great Yu Empire had fallen almost a thousand years ago and it was now the 21st century!

 

Standing in front of the mirror in the restroom, he stared at the image of the young man in the mirror who looked exactly like him when he was sixteen or seventeen years old. The only difference was that his current face was a lot paler and not in high and vigorous spirit like he had been after becoming Zhuang Yuan that year.

 

The current him was also called Song Xiao, and he had just turned 16 this year. His mother had passed away very early on and the only family he had left was his father.

 

“What kind of work does my family do?” Song Xiao speculated that he didn’t drink Meng Po soup[3] before reincarnating, but he didn’t know why he was missing his memories of the past 16 years. Also, there might be a chance that Yu Jin Tang had also been reincarnated.

 

Currently, he was more concerned about his family background, because if he were a noble, he could still participate in the imperial examination. And after becoming an official, he would have the means to find the one he was searching for.

 

“Your father runs an entertainment agency.” Auntie Chen took out the fruits she had just bought and started peeling an apple for him.

 

“What does an entertainment agency do?” Song Xiao frowned slightly. It sounded like it had something to do with merchants. Although the social position of a merchant wasn’t too good, at the very least he could still study.

 

“Oh, they hire a group of good-looking young people who sing, dance, and act to earn money.” Auntie Chen smiled as she said this.

 

She had worked as the housekeeper of the Song house for many years. Looking after Song Xiao as he grew up, he had never been one to make a conversation with others, and had always been absent-minded. Mr. Song said that the child had some kind of autistic disorder and was not very intelligent, so he asked her to pay more attention to him.

 

This time Song Xiao’s head broke down after a beating. Even though he didn’t have his past memories, he looked like he had become more intelligent and was speaking more. So it was probably a good thing.

 

Song Xiao’s heart thumped. After hearing what Auntie Chen had said for the past few days, it sounded like his house was relatively well-off. Originally, he had hoped that his family was at least at the level of a squire, but he didn’t expect that his house was actually a theatrical group! An actor had a very low rank in society, and if his father was born from an actor, that meant that he wouldn’t have the chance to take part in the imperial examination!

 

Song Xiao heaved a sigh, and depressingly raised the new book Auntie Chen had bought for him to read. The words within this book were all so weird; there were only a few strokes in each character. It felt like a wild scribble, but the good part was that he could still understand most of them.

 

“Song Xiao!” A bright and clear sound came from outside the door. Song Xiao turned his head and saw a youth that was around his age with a very colorful head peeking in. Seeing that no one was around, he hurried inside, closed the door, and removed the sunglasses he was wearing.

 

“Sir is…” Song Xiao had read more than ten thousand books since he was a child and he was gifted with extraordinary retentive memory. He had mastered the intonation the people around here used, except that he hadn’t gotten used to some of the words they used.

 

“It’s me, Da Wei! You can’t even remember me?” The colorful young man circled him in shock and sighed as he continued, “You really lost your memories? Such a cheesy plot, I didn’t believe your dad when he told me!”

 

The young boy named Da Wei circled around him again in pity, and started to sprout facts about himself without stopping. His given name was Lee Wei Wei, and Da Wei was his stage name. He was an entertainer working in Song Xiao’s family’s company and he had been acting since he was eight years old. He was a child actor through and through.

 

Because of Song Xiao’s solitary personality, he had had no friends, so his father had allowed the company’s only child to come by and play with him. After spending a long time with each other, Da Wei had become Song Xiao’s one and only friend. Of course, these were only the words of Lee Wei Wei and the truth was still debatable.

 

Song Xiao silently stared at this young man who was beaming with joy as he spoke. Although he dressed like beggar and his hair was strangely riotous with color, he had a pair of clear and honest eyes. Having been in the court for so many years, even now he still had the ability to read people. Song Xiao could feel the friendliness from the youth and even with his long-winded talk, he could at least say this much.

 

“Aren’t you leaving the hospital today? Your dad is busy participating in the premiere of a new film and let me come in his place to pick you up.” Lee Wei Wei rolled his eyes as he said, “For an old lady, he could even disregard his own son. If he weren’t my boss, I would have already condemned him in the media.”

 

“What he means is that, putting aside the fact that the master didn’t come to visit you for the past few days, he even neglected to come and see you on the day of your release from the hospital…” Auntie Chen complained as she started packing.

 

Song Xiao knit his brows. After hearing their words, his father in this life sounded like someone who indulged himself in beauty. He had learned about movies from a book, which was basically a show where actors act. In other words, his father had an actor as a mistress and in order to flatter the mistress’ new movie, he abandoned his sickly son without a qualm.

 

“Children shouldn’t condemn their father for their mistakes. Since my father didn’t appear, he must have his own reasons.” Song Xiao, who came out from the restroom after changing his clothes, saw that the two of them were still scolding his father by enumerating his wrong-doings and spoke up to stop them.

 

Song Zi Cheng, who took his time to come here after the premiere, arrived just in time to hear this sentence and immediately stopped outside the door, stunned.

 

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