People often say that reality and ideals are different, and I’m becoming more and more aware of it.

‘Meize Hazelnut.’

Ever since I’ve become the heroine of a very predictable, third-rate novel.

“Are you okay, Meize? What’s wrong?”

Seeing Syukr – my novel boyfriend – smiling as if he didn’t know about my worries that made me frown.

In fact, the original novel ‘Meize’ wasn’t all that bad. No, honestly speaking, it was the best in its own genre. In the beginning, the main character, Syukr, was the only one who could serve as a Warrior. But as the story developed, it turned out that Meize was the real cheat character. It turned out to be that the kind and pretty country girl was actually a really powerful character, because in truth, she was a saint. So, of course, I knew I’d be living a good life soon. I wasn’t just some ordinary extra, nor a supporting role, but the heroine! It’d be better to enjoy this life rather than to not.

But why? Life is never steady.

Meize’s life wasn’t at all awesome. She was a victim of society. It was the routine of the heroine, Meize, to experience all kinds of crimes such as kidnapping, incarceration and intimidation under the guise of the “growth of a warrior”, and to wait for Syukr, the hero, to come to her rescue.

“You know what? Syukr, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it? You can tell me anything. I’ll listen to anything Meize says. Because you’re the most important woman to me.”

Of course, there have been times when I’ve tried to put up with it. Since I’m inside the book, I thought I should stick to the original story and I actually quite liked the idea of being the heroine. However, I’d been kidnapped way too many times and would always wake to see Syukr chatting with other women.

I guess anybody can be the heroine.

The original Meize was a hit beyond a nice person, but I’m not her. I don’t have to be dating a warrior. Rather than live the life of a colorful heroine who is the girlfriend of a soldier, I wanted to live with a good man who likes only me.

I looked up at Syukr.

The life I wanted was only possible without Syukr in it. If I don’t get involved with Syukr, I won’t be a saintess or a victim of crime.

“In fact, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things that I want to tell you, so thank you for saying that, Syukr.”I drew my hands together and smiled shyly like a pure Meize. I was terrified because it was my first time trying to disobey the original storyline, but I really wanted to live a normal life.

“What’s new? Anything is fine, so don’t worry and tell me.”

“Mm, then I’ll speak freely.”

According to the original, today was the day Meize got abducted and gave Syukr her first kiss. But I did not give him my first kiss today.

“Let’s break up.”

Instead, I gave him a strong farewell

[Meize, please tell me if I’ve done anything wrong. I’ll fix everything.]

Syukr’s note, which had been stuck in front of the door since morning, was burned in the fireplace.

It would be a lie to say I hadn’t lost my mind because of Syukr’s daily behavior, but when I thought about it later, I found it was quite useful in many ways to help me hurry up and stop caring for him.

“Meize, have you finished working already? You’re always so enthusiastic.”

All my hard work would’ve been for nothing if Syukr was to find out that Meize was a saintess. I wouldn’t be able to return to my normal life again.

The owner of the bookstore welcomed me inside. I smiled as prettily as I could, handing over the documents I’d written. It was only a small matter, but it was important for everyone to have a favorable opinion of me.

“I’ve got a lot of time, so I decided to finish it. Is there anything else I can do to help you?”

“I’ve got a few more jobs, so how about this?”

“Yes, of course.”

Since the heroine’s daily life had existed solely for the main character, my daily life has become monotonous ever since I bid farewell to Syukr. But I couldn’t just play around all day. I needed money to make ends meet. Now that I’ve given up my relationship with Syukr, I have to be responsible for my own life.

And that’s why I was desperate for a job. Except for Meize, who had plot armor to help her, commoners were rarely able to write, so those who were able to transcribe were considered high-quality workforce. If I worked steadily, I would be able to earn enough to eat and live alone.

“Meize, I’m not worried because you’re so good, but we have meet the deadline. Okay?”

“Of course. I’ll get it for you on time.”

Let’s have a small party today. It might not be such a bad idea to buy soft, white bread. I’ve only been eating barley bread for the last few days and I feel like my stomach has gone rough. It’s okay to have a change every once in a while.

I was walking happily when I saw Mrs. Becca, a chatty woman. Ugh, if I was seen, I could be forced to listen to her for an hour straight. As I turned and tried to run as fast as I could, I caught sight of Syukr approaching us from far away.

In front of me, there was a woman who talked too much, and behind me was my ex-boyfriend. My situation would be a bad example of a dilemma. What did I do to deserve this? My fortune is ruined today!

“Oh, Meize! Where are you going? I was worried sick since I haven’t seen you lately. How’re you doing? You’re getting prettier! Now you can really marry, huh!”

Mrs. Becca and Syukr were both troublesome people, but I’d rather be around a noisy person than an ex-lover. I hid my bitterness and smiled gently with my hand on one cheek. I didn’t know that my service industry experience would be so helpful in this kind of place.

“Mrs. Becca is becoming more beautiful day by day. Where are you on your way back from?”

“Ah, you know my cousin, Lizzina?”

“Of course I know!”

I didn’t know. Still, I nodded hard as if I knew everything. Memorizing extras’ family relationships was too much, but at least I could pretend to know. Usually, when you talk less and react in moderation, you’re halfway there.

“Lizzina’s brother-in-law is looking for a bride.”

“I see.”

“By the way, he’s just your age.”

(T/N: ohohoho, male lead? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

“What a coincidence. That’s amazing.”

“He’s handsome, has a good personality and even has a good job! He’s a royal official.”

“Oh, that’s great.”

“So, Meize, are you thinking of getting married?”

“I hope you’ve found a good brideー What?”

I gave a hollow answer. I opened my eyes wide open. No, lady… What are you saying?

“You and Syukr seemed to be happy so I didn’t tell you. I thought that you two had been distant these days too… Actually, Syukr isn’t that reliable, is he?”

Mrs. Becca muttered, silently lowering her voice. I laughed awkwardly, unable to agree nor refute the remark.

People’s assessment of Syukr is very poor, and will only change when he becomes a legendary warrior later on. An orphan of unknown birth, a decent job, and an ordinary appearance. There was nothing going for Syukr except for the title of ‘warrior’ and being the protagonist of a third-rate harem novel.

Besides, he wasn’t a soldier yet and had only just began to realize his own strength. He was kind of an ugly duckling that didn’t match up with the kind and beautiful swan, Meize.

“It’s hard to say what happened between us but… Syukr is a good guy.”

My voice trembled as I tried my best to sound like the original Meize. Having changed the original story a lot whilst giving up the role of the heroine, it was funny that I was now trying to protect the original, but I hoped the original story would not change any more.

Even if I quit being the heroine, I still belonged to this world. In order to live a normal life, I had to avoid the ‘happy ending’ of the novel.

“Syukr will see the light one day.”

‘For your information, he’s seen so much light that he’s been flirting with all kinds of women besides me. And now that I’ve broken up with him, I expect that he’ll soon be dating the next heroine, the princess’. I was mumbling things to myself that I definitely could never tell Mrs. Becca.

“That’s because you’re so nice, it’s all looking good. Frankly, friends and lovers are different. If you continue to be with Syukr, you’ll have to live with him.”“No, I’m just friends with Syukr now, especially these days…”

Right now, Syukr can’t give up his lingering feelings for me, but that’s just a one-time thing. As long as he’s the main character, he will become a soldier and, soon enough, he’ll become the king of the country and he’ll live and eat well.

Oh, come to think of it, the last kidnapping was a few days ago. I think it’s almost time for the Knights of the Kingdom to visit Syukr. I need to get Syukr’s mind straightened out as soon as possible.

“Then you’ll have to meet someone else soon!”

“But I’m not thinking of dating any time soon.”

I’ve been so busy trying to get rid of Syukr that I don’t know what a romantic relationship is. Besides, having Mrs. Becca’s cousin’s brother-in-law as a partner? I shook my head thinking about such a terrible scenario.

I don’t know if there are holidays in this era, but that was then… and this is now. I’ve already listened to enough nagging in my past life. Not only was there no reason to live under pressure as part of Mrs. Becca’s family, but it was better to avoid being involved with Mrs. Becca as much as possible. I wanted to live a normal, quiet life rather than waste my time being forced to listen to stories that I have no interest in.

“But you! There’s a rumor that Syukr has been showing up to your house non-stop and hasn’t given up on you! You really can’t get married like this! If you’re over Syukr, you need to sort everything out.”

There’s a long way to go. I wanted to keep it cool, but now that I live in this town, I had to be careful. There was nothing good about being seen by Mrs. Becca’s eyes. Her mouth was faster than the wind, so she was playing a major role in controlling the reputation of the villagers.

“You know I’m not trying to put a lot of pressure on you, just meet him once. He’s a really nice guy.”

“Thank you for your concern, but I don’t think I can answer that right away.”

I was going to say no quietly, but my headache was already painful. Ah, Syukr was coming over here. I wonder how much he’s heard…

“Well, anyway, I’ll go ahead. But if you feel any better, just tell me right away. Okay? I don’t usually do this, Meize, but you’re like a daughter to me.”

Mrs. Becca, who was moving her mouth passionately, hurried away. I bet all the money I made today that it was because she’d made eye contact with Syukr, who was now right behind me.

“Meize…”

‘Describe the awkwardness when faced with a heartbroken ex-boyfriend who still has feelings for you. 3 points for the correct answer.’

Having been a little absent-minded, I quietly erased my thoughts when I saw Syukr’s face.

“…Oh, um. Hi, Syukr?”

Even if I try to listen to him, it’s awkward, but what else can I do? Even though it’s awkward, I can’t help but look up at Syukr’s face.

I just can’t get it out of my mind. You can’t spit on a smile, so that’s what I’ll do. I’ll smile.

“…What did Mrs. Becca just say? Another man?”

I was going to say goodbye and run away. Did he hear all that? It’s too late to run away quietly now.

“That’s… Syukr, you don’t need to know.”

“I don’t care if you’re meeting another man…”

“You must be mistaken about something, Syukr, we’ve already broken up. So don’t b.u.t.t into my business and just go on your way. Because no matter what you say, it won’t change my mind.”

There’s no one else… but I don’t need to tell my ex-boyfriend anything. All I have to do is walk away. I tried to look at Syukr with my arms firmly crossed.

“I’ll do better! Okay? Meize, please. Don’t be so cruel. You’re the only one I’ve got.”

(PR/N, the only one? Hah NAH)

(T/N: thE oNLY oNe my as-)

Syukr’s shoulders drooped helplessly.

It was a shock for him. No matter what Shukr had ever said or done, when his first love – who’d kindly been by his side for everything – sends a notice of separation and draws a line on their relationship like a knife, it felt as if the sky had dropped for Syukr.

But what can I do? Syukr, I already know what kind of person you are.

“Lies. Syukr, it’s not just me.”

Syukr, a warrior who can’t refuse others’ favors, sounded like a very righteous character, but in reality, his traits weren’t a good thing.

“Huh?”

“Syukr, I know you still meet Hailey in the woods.”

“Meize, that’s…..!”

Seeing the pale-faced Syukr, I put on an expressionless face. According to the original story, Syukr will be a.s.sociated with a total of three women, including his official girlfriend, Meize.

That is, before the kingdom’s knight, Dan comes to visit.

Hailey came next. She was the grandchild of the chief who initially looked down on Syukr. Next is the princess, Marigold, who snuck out of the castle.

I don’t know why a princess went into a rural village without any gold, however, it’s something you can probably find in a third-rate nove. Anyways, to begin with, the whole novel was set in a village that wasn’t very spectacular.

How would adding a princess to a village with a powerful warrior and saintess make a difference? Well, it’s kind of like this.

“Yes, you’re not at fault. You just went to the forest to pick berries and rescued Hailey from the trap. Later, Hailey thanked you by packing your lunch box. And kissing you on the cheek.”

“Meize, it’s not like that! It’s just Hailey’s way of…!”

“Yes, Hailey would have done anything. But Syukr, you know what? You should have been angry then. Back then, you were dating me. Even if you hadn’t thought of me, you shouldn’t have stayed still. But you did.”

Syukr liked Meize, but didn’t refuse Hailey. He was so indecisive that he brought along women who liked him to save Meize when she was kidnapped by the demon king at the end of the novel.

“Even after that, you’ve been seeing Hailey. You’ve never turned down Hailey, and you’ve been sneaking around my back.”

“If it’s Hailey, I’ll clean it up! I really can’t be without you. I’ll do anything……….!”

“It’s not just Hailey.”

I took a step back to avoid Syukr, who was holding onto my wrist.

“Haven’t you recently met a pretty girl with silver hair?”

Syukr had only modestly heard the portrayal, considering that he didn’t know that she was a princess yet, but there was embarra.s.sment on his face. He didn’t actually say it, but he was asking how I knew. I shook my head as if I knew it all, and went on.

“It’s not just meeting, you’re splitting hairs.”

It’s a couple of thing. Of course, it was good evidence to suspect a lover’s infidelity if they continue to split hairs[1] and it is certainly possible with this protagonist considering the end of the novel.

“No, Meize! I know what you’re thinking, but I swear it’s not like that! I’ll explain everything to you, so…”

“That’s good. I don’t want to hear any excuses.”

I lifted my hand and stopped Syukr. In fact, I knew better that Syukr and Marigold had no romantic relations. Marigold will like Shukr along with me, but not yet.

The act of sharing hair between Shukr and Marigold was more of a kind of commitment, not a sign of love.

When Syukr accidentally picked up the missing items, the two of them became close friends, and when Marigold came across the fact that Shukr’s father was Bill Helm, the best prosecutor in the kingdom, she cut her hair to give him a chance to become a knight of the kingdom.

“We’ve already split up, so what good is this? Isn’t that right, Syukr?”

“Y-You’re saying this because you still like me… ..? Right? You’re jealous of another woman. Because I have a heart.”

Syukr’s voice almost sounded like crying. I thought it was a little sad, but I didn’t reach out to him for once. It was time for me to be realistic.

“No, this is not jealousy.

I answered firmly without hesitation.

“I’m just tired.”

If I had to be honest, I loved Syukr. And even now, I still held some favouritism towards Syukr. He was the greatest comfort to me as a stranger, alone in the world. There were definitely happy and enjoyable times with Syukr.

So at first, I wanted to be the Meize of the original.

I’d even felt guilty for stealing the original Meize from Syukr, and most of all, I’d really liked him back then. I also dreamed of a future with Syukr.

But as time went by, I realized the truth. I’ll never be the original Meize.

I wasn’t an open-minded person like her who could sit back and wait for Syurk to rescue her time and time again.

I couldn’t overlook other women who liked him like she did for fear of becoming a victim of another crime… or even for fear of being hated by him.

“That’s ridiculous. How can you change your mind so easily? We were happy. It was all good.”

“At first it was.”

“At first it was? Then, what about now? Are you saying it’s not now?”

“Yes, I was very happy back then. I thought- I thought it would stay the same. But, it didn’t.”

There was a time when I tried to fix Syukr. Syukr is a good and nice person, so I once believed he would give back his heart for his beloved Meize… But my efforts had not changed him in the very least.

Men cannot rewrite their personalities.

That fact was obvious.

“What?”

“You say love, but I don’t believe your heart. Seriously, I don’t love you anymore, Syukr. And I can never be happy with you.”

I didn’t want much from Syukr. I didn’t want any good looks, power, or the t.i.tle of the ‘strongest warrior of all time’.

I just wanted him to love me. That was the only way I could accept the fact that I have to live in a different world now.

I was separated from my family, friends and the 25 mundane years of life that had been spent by Yoon Soo-ah. She had not realized their value and preciousness until she stepped foot in this world and lost them forever.

I needed someone to fill up my empty chest that had lost something unexchangeable. But Syukr was not that person.

He was always a man who spoke only words of love. It was as if the rope marks from the abduction were still on my wrist, but I hadn’t noticed them until now.

“Syukr, you’re going to become really great. More people will love you and be with you than right now. But I don’t want to be one of those people.”

As long as this world continues to follow the storyline of the novel, and as long as the set story continues, you will continue to do the same thing.

You’ll hang out with another woman with the excuse that you’re simply a good person who can’t refuse them. The benevolent Meize will forgive you for anything and everything.

“Meize.”

But I’m not the real Meize.

I don’t want to live like her.

“I want to meet someone who loves only me. So, please…”

I took a deep breath to forget my past memories.

But the faces of my original family members, my friends, were not easily erased. And so, somehow, they choked me up and my eyes swelled.

That’s why.

When I gave up my usual external smile and laughed with a tired face, I actually wanted to cry.

“Let’s break up.”

With a smile or tears on my face, I said goodbye to Syukr that day, without knowing what kind of backlash it might come to.

“So you really broke up with Syukr? Like never ever meet again or what?”

“Mm. I’m not seeing Syukr anymore.”

In reply, he wrote the doc.u.ment with ink on his pen. I had to earn money when I could, even though I had a stiff wrist because I was being overworked.

Now that my relationship with Syukr is over, I can move on with my life.

If there was anything I wanted to do, I needed to have enough money to do it.

“Syukr? You’re all set? Syukr always came and went from your house like a dog that needed something. There’s a lot of rumors going on.”

“…that’s what Mrs. Becca told you?”

“Of course. All the local gossip comes from Mrs. Becca.”

I sighed deeply, recalling Mrs. Becca, who tried to arrange the meeting over and over again despite my polite refusal.

I’m sure Mrs. Becca will continue to spread rumors about me and Syukr. Until I meet the man she mentioned. And, just in case, I’ll avoid seeing other men.

[1] Splitting hairs means to focus on trivial or petty details, or in my dictionary, making excuses

T/N: Imma be honest, this is like the 50th time i’ve read this chapter and i still feel for meize, the poor girl i just–