...2020.09.05🍂...

There is really a dream that is beautiful but painful to experience, the kind of dream you are praying for won't end first, the dream that brings back the happy past that you regret until now.

"Honey, how's your school today?" mom asked. Well apparently same old days nothing has changed.

"Just fine, still the same mom." I answered back. Our school keeps me isolated after all, how tedious.

I was about to go up when I suddenly remembered something.

'Hey! why in the world I've forgot about that, seriously? geez' my conscience whispered. I immediately got down stairs and quickly approached her.

Mom gave me a confused look and chuckled. I'm so embarrassed at this point but whatever lmao.

"Happy Mother's Day, Na." I greeted. I don't have much confidence to greet her like this though, I'm shy heh~

Mom genuinely smiled.

"Thank you honey, but where's my gift?" she asked teasingly. I flinched, wait what? gift? giift? AAAAAH YES! THE GIFT!!

'But I completely forgot about giving her gifts, damn what's wrong with you?' aaaaaaah stop!

"Ah um y-you see m-mommy, I-I completely--." I couldn't finished my word because I was feeling regretful about it, dammit!

Mom laughed at my reaction, "I was just kidding baby, I don't need any presents anymore. I'm old enough to receive those." She chuckled.

'Yeah? but still I feel bad.'

"Oh right, go change your uniform and come down so we can eat together okay?" she said. I nodded as a response and got up to my room. All of a sudden, I feel teary but why? Why's this so real to me? What's with this feeling of nostalgia? *sigh*

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• |

Hours have passed.

I am in my room writing about what happened today. When I hear the door open, sure enough it's my Mom. I closed my note and glanced at her.

"Still writing? How stubborn, I really thought you were already asleep. Here have some milk." she said as she handed the milk to me. oof she's scolding me again *grin*

"It's bad for your health, Ella." I pout, mom's really worried. I should've sleep early.

"I'm sorry Na, I have many thoughts that I need to write it down my notes." I said. It's true actually, it keeps me awake all night worrying something. Mom just let out a sigh.

"Alright, as long as you don't stay late at night next time, okay? Come here let's sleep together." I approached her and hugged her while mom kissed me on the forehead. This warmth, should've last long.

"Sweet dreams, darling." she softly whispered.

Tears started to flow down on my cheek. This is too much, stop it!

I missed you so much, Na.

COME BACK!!

*Tud*

"Hey Ella wake up! It's our first day of school, we can't be late! Hey lady! Heeey!" A loud shout had me woken up. Wtf, what's with the noise people?! AAAAHH YOU BISCUIT BUFFOON! I quickly got up from my bed and glared at this mother trucker.

"Oh dear, I'm waking you up 'cause we're gonna be late. Stop glaring at me." she rolled her eyes, t-this buffoon is so-- damn whatever.*sigh*

I started stretching my back. Haah how tedious.

While I was doing my morning routine, I feel something uneasy. I sighed, maybe because I'm still half awake? Strange

I approached the mirror to see if ever my face looks oily right now. But I was taken aback, maybe I'm hallucinating right now but THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

I cupped my face in front of the mirror, it's real. I thought it was over, that I won't shed tears anymore.

The room was filled with my silent cries, these regretful cries and pathetic feeling that I've buried for so long. I'm still recovering yet I dream about her again. I'M SORRY MOMMY. I REALLY AM. BUT I CAN'T LET GO, I'M STUCK ALONG WITH THESE GUILTS FOREVER.

[GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AHEAD!]