I always thought that loving someone is easy..

I wonder why some people cry so much after a break up..

I surely miss him but it’s not enough to make me cry at all.

“Are you okay, Mika? “

“Huh? “

I’m surprised. She don’t really usually talk to anyone. I look at her in awe, and for awhile I wasn’t sure if I really hear her speak. Looking at her I noticed she was uneasy and embarrassed after I react with my eyes widened in shock. I didn’t get to response right away.

“Sorry.. “ she mumbled.

I was probably busy staring at her blue eyes and red cheeks.

“ah… yeah. I’m.. I’m okay..” I stuttered. I realized I spoke in a low voice.

After I said that she looked down on her desk and started writing her notes. Her face all red and she can’t seem to stare back at me. I noticed she is pretty. Her eyelashes were long. White skin and pinkish lips. She probably have her shares of boyfriend break up experience.

Hershey that’s her name. Like my favorite chocolate bar. She is very timid and shy. She rarely participate in any classroom activity. I remember we went to the same middle school before high school, but I rarely see her with some friends or saw her hang out with anyone. I remember seeing her picking up a stray cat along the road when my mom fetch me from school. I also saw her watering the plants almost everyday.

“ ahmm… “ she softly open her mouth but she couldn’t say a word. But she look more embarrassed and her cheeks are more red.

I realized I am staring at her the whole time I’m in a daze.

“Oh s-sorry..! “ I said.

But I still have my eyes locked on her face. Seeing her expressions seems refreshing. Seems like I discovered something new.

“Mika, aren’t you gonna eat for lunch? “ Daisy come towards me and lean on my desk.

“I know you’re heart broken but you should not skip meals” she added.

“Oh.. Yeah I am not really hungry today” I replied.

I saw her eyebrows crossed and with a disappointed look on her face.

“I guess I’ll leave you be” she stand up. “I’ll go with Rica and others, they’re going to the convenient store.”

And by that she walked outside the room. I started picking up my notebook and putting it inside my bag. I don’t understand why I feel so low today. Is this what they call lovesick? I rest my head on my desk hiding my face in my arms. I closed my eyes and started drifting to sleep.

Hershey’s POV

What has gotten to me today? I don’t usually feel the necessity to speak with anyone. I don’t like talking to anyone at all. I looked at her.

What is she doing? She won’t go eat with her friends.

Is she just going to sleep?

I shake my head as if to shake my thoughts.

Why do I bother? We aren’t friends. I don’t really fit in her circle.

Well.. I don’t really have a circle. While she always have other people around her.

She is famous, beautiful and being admired by many.

She normally represent the class when we have school activities.

I probably envy her. She is the opposite of my personality.

Rumors said she recently dumped her boyfriend for 2 years.

Wesley, the basketball captain who is famous himself as well.

They were a good pair. Everyone shipped them like a celebrity couple.

I stopped.

Hey hey hey.. When did you get yourself so interested in anyone? I hear myself nag.

Maybe because of what happened earlier today.

I normally come to school early so I can water the plants. I was shocked seeing someone come to school earlier than I am. I found Mika standing near my desk and starring out the window.

“Good morning.. “ I said out of courtesy as I walked inside the room.

She looked back at me with a blank expression on her face.

“Morning..” She said and looked back outside the window.

I sat on my desk and bring out the book I recently purchase.

I tried my best to ignore her presence and started reading. She walk and sat down on her chair.

She then started to drift off somewhere thinking deep that she didn’t even notice I am still there.

That look in her eyes.. She looked so troubled that gave me the urge to ask her if she is okay.

She had been in a daze the whole half morning class.

Ah. I’m just surprised she can become like this. I put out my lunch box and started eating.

She said she is not hungry huh. I look at my sandwich and as usual my mom made two of them.

“Make sure to share Hershey” that’s what my mom always say. I don’t talk to anyone so I always have left over food when I came home. My brother would eat it anyway so it’s not a waste.

Mika’s POV

After closing my eyes I’m slowly getting the feeling of my stomach rumbling. Seems like I am hungry anyway. But I really don’t feel like eating. I tried to ignore it but seems the rumbling even now sounds louder.

“Here.. take it” she said.

I lift my head up and our gaze met. Blue eyes. Like the ocean..

She lift the sandwich up and poked it towards me. She looked all embarrassed and looked like being forced to speak.

“But this is your lunch..” I planned to refuse.

“My mom always make extra.. And I can’t eat that much so just please take it.” She said in a low voice. Avoiding my eyes and turn her face to the window.

I reach out my hand and take the bread and felt our fingers touch.

For a moment I thought I heard bells. I saw her suddenly tensed and eyes wide as if electrified.

I can’t help but stare. She is starting to turn red. Her blue eyes won’t look at me. Her hair being blown by the wind is just picture perfect. She can be a model I thought. She sure is pretty.

“Thank you” I managed to speak after what seems to be a long pause.

She take back her hand and go back eating her own sandwich. I was facing her direction and she won’t look my way. I took a bite of the bread and it taste good.

“You like chicken sandwich?” I asked.

She looked at me for awhile and nodded. She continue eating.

I finished the chicken sandwich and felt I’m full. I noticed she doesn’t have any drinks so I stood up and offered to buy us from the vendo machine. I knew she would decline so before she can object I ran outside and then walk my way to the hallway.

I choose apple juice. I hope she like apple too. But suddenly one apple juice got stuck and won’t come out. Out of nowhere someone kick the vendo and my juice finally come out. I picked it up and I was surprised to see Wesley.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

I can’t find myself to respond. I don’t want to discuss anything with him. I turn around and thank him for his help. I walked back to the classroom. I’m already at the door when I felt his hand pull back my arm.

“Why won’t you listen to me?” he sound desperate. His voice is loud enough to get the attention of the remaining students in the room.

“I don’t want to talk, Wes” I replied. My voice low but firm. He probably see it in my eyes. I really don’t wanna talk to him.

He then let go of my arm. He sure didn’t notice he gripped with much force. Enough to leave me a bruise.

“You can’t keep running away from this, you know that” he said.

“I am aware” I replied and turn my back on him. I walk toward my desk and saw Hershey watching me.

“Here.. I hope you like apple” I gave her the drink and sat down on my chair. I didn’t look back at Wesley and I know he simply won’t give up. He then leave the room and I can feel eyes watching me. I don’t know if they feel sorry for me or for Wesley. I hear them talking about me. In their eyes we were the best couple and we’ve been together since middle school.

I sighed. What a mess. If only I could feel anything aside from disgust. If only I can cry. Maybe it won’t feel so heavy and gloomy. I press my head down my table facing the window. I closed my eyes. Maybe I need to sleep..

Hershey’s POV

I watched her sleep for the remaining time on our lunch. She is facing my direction and I can see her eyes close, hiding her hazel eyes. Her lips is red probably because of lipstick. She got good pair of eyebrows. Her dark hair shine against the light from the sun.

Maybe this is just like what I read on novels. That face she is making probably is the face of a broken hearted person. I wonder if it hurt that much. I probably won’t experience it since I don’t desire to be with anybody. Not even friends.

I made up my mind long time ago. As I watch my parents yell at each other. Watched how my father pack his things and leaving mom crying every night.

If I don’t fall in love. I won’t get myself hurt. That’s basic.

I can focus on my studies and become a lawyer someday. That is how I plan my future.

I looked back at her.. She isn’t crying..

I just realized that even how different she is today. Her face is all blank. She look empty. Not sad. She just doesn’t seem to feel anything.

But why…?

Stop! My inner self reminded me.

Yes. Stop. I need to stop. I do not need to pry. I don’t need to look on things that I know will get my interest. Specially people. I don’t need friends. So stop. Stop being curious.

I fight the urge I am feeling. I stood up and walk my way outside the room.

I head to the comfort room and wash my face.

I feel refreshed now. Feel lighter.. I look at my reflection just to be startled by another reflection behind me. I nearly died out of shock. She is looking at me with those blank eyes.. Her face looking pale and no emotion.

“Sorry I followed you here” she said. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves from being startled.

“You startled me.. Do you need anything?” I replied.

“Do I bother you?” she asked.

“Why would you ask that?” I asked back as I wash my hands.

“I knew you were watching me all the while. I am not asleep. Out of nothing you stood up with a dark expression on your face” She said. She is speaking in monotone.

I wonder if that’s how she normally speak. Anyhow this is not good. I don’t need this kind of interaction.

“No you don’t. I’m going now” I walk pass by her and left the comfort room.

I tried to remain calm. It’s my fault. I approached her and now I am running away from it. I should have not asked her if she is okay. I clenched my fist. I always make mistakes like this.

Mika’s POV

I watch her back as she left the comfort room. I felt guilty somehow. Maybe my negative aura is bothering her personal space. People are not used to me being this quiet.

I sighed. But I can’t force myself to feel okay.

No.. I can’t force myself to feel anything.

Classes ended and I am now walking my way to the train station. Still feeling.. I don’t know.

I sighed again.

“Excuse me” someone just took the seat before I sit on it. This old lady gave me a daring stare as if asking if I will fight back to take the spot she just stole from me.

I looked down on her and decided to leave and choose a different place to stand.

I did find a place and I notice a familiar face. Blond hair.. Blue eyes. There she is reading a book in one corner as she stand. I walk towards her and stand by her side. She didn’t even notice me. She look so engrossed with whatever she is reading. I saw she make a different expression. Upper corner of her lips just twitched. She smirked and raised one eyebrow.

Adorable. I didn’t know she can make these kind of expression. She probably read something that trigger her to make that face.

“Oh stupid” she murmured. I look at her and she is still reading.

Now that got me curious. What is she reading? I get my face closer to her to take a peek of what she is reading. And right at the same moment the train pull at stop and she looked at me.

I thought I heard bells again. Then I hear the doors open. I found myself starring closely at the blue wide eyes. So close. She pushed me back and she covered her lips.

Then I realized.. Oh that’s why it felt soft. My eyes widened. My brain sure is not functioning at a normal speed today. I look at her flustered face. I see she is breathing hard. Embarrassed.

I blinked and she is nowhere to be found. I didn’t know she can run that fast. I watch the scenery outside the window and then I get to understand what just happened.

I kissed a girl. I sighed.

I cant sleep!!!!

I've been twisting back and forth on my bed like crazy. I hate it. My whole system cannot process what just happended today.

What the heck is wrong with her?

Why is she there in the first place?

How did she get near me?

Why did she..

Ahhhhh!!!! I squeeze my pillow and cover my face. I can't answer my own questions. All I can remember is I see a figure at the corner of my eyes moving close to my face. When I turn my head our lips were locked.

And guess who of all people. Mikaela Gustav!

Should I be thankful that it's not a guy? Because I will feel harassed for sure. But.. But isn't it more embarrassing that she is a girl?

Did anyone saw us?

And more importantly.. I don't understand why my heart start racing just thinking about it. That time I thought my heart is about to get out of my chest. After pushing her away she gave me a blank expression and when I gaze down on her lips.. Her soft lips..

Ahhhhhh!!!! Why?! I cannot process this feelings!!?

"Hershey?!" my mom suddenly open the door looking for me.

"Mom?" I asked. Confused seeing the worried look on her face.

"Did you get a nightmare? I heard noises" she come to me and touch my forehead.

I realize I was probably being loud.

"I think so.. But I'm okay mom" I said.

"You want me to stay here until you fell asleep?" she offered.

I remember my mom always do this when I was younger. After my dad left us I normally wake up in the middle of night crying. My mom would always stay by my side and rub my back till I fell asleep.

" No mom.. I'm okay. Don't worry." I declined. I have to show her I am not that little girl anymore.

"Okay, don't stay up late." she remind me before she step out of the room.

I feel down out of a sudden. Yeah that remind me of that sad feeling. I hugged my pillow and close my eyes.

"Hershey Constantine" Mr. Sandoval called me out for the third time. I felt a little poke on my arm and saw Mika.

I saw her pointing the teacher then saw the whole class looking at me. I immediately stand up.

"I'm sorry. Can you please repeat the question" I said feeling embarrassed.

"I am not asking a question Ms. Constantine. I am appointing you as an event coordinator assistant for Ms. Gustav" he explained. Obviously not pleased that I am spacing out on our first subject.

I thought I will be scolded.

Wew! I thought I am being asked for some difficult question.. So I will just simply be an assistant..

"Well? Do you accept this Ms. Constantine? Ms. Gustav cannot do this job alone." he then added.

Wait. Who...?

I look at her beside me and the memory of what happened yesterday flashed back. I feel my blood raising upward and now my chest is pounding hard.

"I.. I don't think I am fit to be an assistant sir!" I bow down as an apology. Hoping he will let me go.

"You are one of the top students here Ms. Constantine. Your classmates also vote for you." he rebuttal

I raise my head and see my classmates who raised their hand to vote for me. I see them smiling and some are giving me a thumbs up. This would be the first time I will be an assistant. I don't join any events. I don't participate as much as possible to avoid people. And now..

"I'm looking forward, working with you" I heard Mika said. I see her gently smile at me.

Oh no..

I can hear a slow drum beat in my heart.

This is bad.. I will turn this down.

"We are rooting for you Hershey" I hear Rica said right next to Mika. And followed by others who expresses their support.

"I.. I- okay then" I can't believe I agreed. And then I hear them clap and show gratitude.

And so.. I am now awkwardly sitting in front of Mika as we stay behind to do the paperwork for the upcoming sports festival.

How did I end here.. I sighed.

She look at me after she hear me sighed. I can't believe how my heart beat accelerate whenever our eyes met. This is crazy!

"Will you take care of the preparations for the in house events? I will take the outside events preparations. We can also appoint our classmates to give us a hand for the prep. We just need to choose who and when to do it" she casually said.

"Uhm.. Yes I am willing to do that. I - I just don't know.. how" I honestly replied. I don't do these stuff. I don't have any idea how to organize anything.

"Here.. This is my organizer. You can see there my notes and how I plan to do stuffs. You can borrow this and use it as a guide." She then lend me her notebook.

I took it and start checking the notes she have. I still feel awkward being around her. But the way she act today is normal. Like she is not the person who kissed me yesterday.

I blushed. I felt my cheek getting hot. Good thing she seems to be focused on what she is doing.

I secretly watch her.. This girl.. She did smile at me earlier. I wonder.. Is she now okay?

And why do you need to know Hershey!? I hear my inner self shouting at me. Like as if I am totally being nosy about Mika.

Right I know.. I should really stop thinking about her. I pick up the pen and start writing. I follow the guide she gave me.

Mika's POV

I lift my head and saw her pick up her pen and start working. I sighed inward. I was able to talk to her casually. I can sense she is really feeling awkward.

Well who wouldn't? I just kissed her right. I thought she would hate me and will not accept this job. Surprisingly she did and now I have a feeling that she regret doing so.

I can't think of anyways to get along with her properly. She seems like a nice person. She is kind and she is indeed smart. I remember she once was awarded best in academic.

I noticed my phone lit up and notify me about a message I just received. I recognize the phone number showing on the banner. I open the message and I'm right. Its from Wesley.

You can't keep on doing this to me. They want to see you

I sighed unconsciously. He just won't give up. He keep on calling every night I had to switch my phone off just to get sleep. He also tend to wait for me everyday after school and forcing me to talk to him. I check my arm and yes it still have the dark mark because he held it tight yesterday.

I hope he will just get tired and stop forcing things his way. I want peace of mind.

I look at Hershey and I'm surprised seeing her looking right back. Our eyes met and I see she is frowning at me. But I see a glint of care in her eyes probably wondering if I'm okay.

"uhm.. About yesterday." I started.

Her expression change. She suddenly blushed and back of a little as if she is about to run again. And I'm right cause she is about to stand up but I caught her hand.

I thought the sound of the bells are now more familiar to me. And I see she is stunned. She tried to pull back her hand but I hold it tightly she couldn't escape.

"Let go" she said. Her voice shaken.

"Why are you running again?" I asked.

I stand up to make sure I have enough balance.

She didn't answer me. She keeps on pulling her hand at the same time avoid my eyes.

"I'm sorry about that ki---" I stop since she suddenly cover her ears and now she pulled me closer. I did not let go of her hand and probably out of panic she pull it hard to cover her ears.

"Ouch.." We found ourselves on the floor after we both fell out of balance. I'm on top of her and she tried to get up. Our eyes met.

More bells..

She is so flustered. Her face red and I think she is about to cry.

"Hey.. I'm sorry.." I said in a soft voice. She probably was hurt when we both fell. I tried to help her get up.

"Could you please stop running away from me." I told her before she try again to escape. She then stop still not facing me.

"I didn't intend to kiss you. I'm trying to see what you were reading but the train stopped. That was pure accident since I startled you and you look my way." I explained. I notice she somewhat stiffened.

She really don't wanna hear me say the word kiss. Must be really embarassing for her. But I don't want her to keep on feeling awkward everytime.

Hershey's POV

" I didn't intend to kiss you.." that's what I hear her say. I should be glad hearing these words but I felt somewhat disappointed.

I stiffened. Why should I be disappointed? That's pretty normal. We're both girls and Mika obviously won't have any desire to kiss a girl. That's just absurd.

I didn't respond. I can't say it's okay. Cause I'm not sure if I feel that it is okay. I'm just totally going crazy about everything between us. Anything that has something to do with her. I don't even know now what to think. Or what to do, she just stopped me from running away. We ended up on the floor and she being so close just drive me insane.

Am I still normal? Geez!

"Can we be friends?"

I didn’t expect her to ask that. I look at her.

I can look at her now. Maybe I am glad she didn't mean the kiss.

"I don't make friends.." I answered. I need to decline the offer of friendship. I am not a person who would want one.

She just stood there. Starring at my face. Like trying to read my thoughts.

"I'm sorry Mika. I really don't need to have a friend." I added. Which is just a fact. I don't need anyone.

"But I need you." she softly replied.

My eyes widened.

"Huh?" I mumbled.

She look away and didn't speak for awhile. I can't see her expression.

When she look back at me she is smiling and I see tears in the corner of her eyes.

"Please be my friend Hershey" she said smiling. She then took my hand and gently press it.

I am stunned. How can I say No to that very sad eyes. It was the first time I saw her face with emotion. It's no longer blank. Her beautiful smile but hiding a lot of pain. I can see through it. Felt like she just opened up a mystery door for me. Asking me to come inside...

"O-okay" I hear myself agreed.

Eh? I said okay?

Unexpectedly she gave me a hug. For awhile I stopped breathing. I can feel her chest against mine. My eyes grew wider and her scent now is taking over my senses.

Nice perfume.. Subtle and sweet.

I can't stay this way or else she will hear my heart beating crazier than it used to. I held her shoulder and gently push her back. I see her still smiling at me..

Oh boy...

This girl. I should find way to stay away from her...