All this years, the things i do is to serve and follow them but I don't have a right to complain to them......

My only hope in my family is my half sister she always visit me in the house and sometimes she comfort me

I love and trust her with all my heart because she is the only one who give me a love that i need in my family, since my mother past away my father become a different person he always blame me for my mother death

Then one day my father go home with a woman and her daughter.....this woman is my new mother all i do is smile and greet them

The days has past my step mother always treats me like i am not her family, whenever my step mother left my step sister always help and make me happy....When my father got home from work he will know what happened in the then he will just nod to me and my step mother and eat dinner, then he will go to his room and sleep

He never go to my room when i am still in that house all he do is nod at me like I'm just a kid who is begging for them to keep me by they're side.

it's the same when i got married but this time it's not just I'm being ignore like i am a ghost or something they're all do something bad at me

The things in my mind is "Is this my punishment did i do something wrong while i am alive....why did this all happening to me!?"

December 25 2020

Friday 8:30

Today is our anniversary so i was planning to go in his work while i was walking near in his work....I heard his voice in the passageway i decide to surprise him but i accidentally see and hear the conversation of my half sister and husband

My husband say

"Why do we need to hide out relationship if you want i can divorce Ellen"

"not now babe....This is not the right time to do that"

she answered

i accidentally let go the food i carry and my sister look at me with a scary smile for my husband eyes that feels sorry

I run and run with my tears are like they going fall at my face then i suddenly stop and surprised with a so past i got hit by it, like I'm going to die then i see them hugging each other while I'm her in the floor losting so much blood.

the things i think is

"All i want is live happily and do all i want to do is that hard"

"If i have a chance to live again i will choose to be happy and free like a butterfly that time!.

I will not be controlled by them again and I'll regret that i trust her all this time!!"

*close my eyes with a tears*