Hi, my name is Qilla. I am 14 years old. I live with my mother and sister. My sister has two people, one named Zhiaya the other named Zhaiya. They are my twin sisters. Zhaiya's sister is always nice to me, but Zhiaya's sister doesn't like me because Zhaiya's sister loves me very much. She always finds problems with me... The next morning when I was at school, my teacher scolded me because my book was missing . I also felt a little scared and a little angry because the teacher didn't like me... I was thinking why am I always hated? Do you want to know what the teacher told me? My teacher said "why didn't you disappear too?", Then I thought... "should I?". Honestly, I didn't care what my teacher said to me.. But... because I thought too much about what my teacher said to me, I felt like revenge.. Not for following my anger, but for my pleasure.. I mean, i don't like following other people's decisions. I always objected to my mother.. She always forced me to do what she told me... I know my mother didn't hate me but I really didn't like the way she took care of me..! I also don't hate her.. My mother always compares me to Zhiaya's sister..! I really don't like Zhiaya's sister..! One night I made a mistake.. That night at 8:00 I was enveloped in hatred and anger..! I took the knife in the kitchen.. After that I went to Zhiaya's sister's room.. Her room was very clean and lots of decorations. Once I entered Zhiaya's sister's room, I looked at her angrily. I am very jealous of her because she is so beautiful and as my mother loves her very much.. I pointed the knife I was holding and stabbed her! Hahahhaha....! She woke up before I could stab her.. Then she ran to my mother's room. In that situation I felt very anxious and happy because I was able to release my hatred. Then my mother woke up and called sister Zhaiya.. Sister Zhiaya told what happened to them both ..! Zhaiya's sister scolded me very rudely and didn't stop!.. I was very sad and shed tears .. I saw Zhaiya's sister and was shocked because she put on a sad face. Then my mother came to me while hugging Zhiaya's sister.. then hit me while saying " Do you want to kill Zhiaya ?! " "Why are you in this world?!.." I looked at Zhiaya's sister inadvertently. She... she laughed..! My mind was very chaotic then I woke up and looked at Zhaiya's sister who was looking at me.. Then I went into my room while my mother shouted "Where do you want to go !!" to me. I took a shower to calm myself. At 2:31 I thought of something rather stupid "I have decided to make a plan! .." The name of my show is “DEAD? LOST? But how? That night I thought of something impossible. I'm still stupid for thinking such a thing. I thought of dying without pain. Stupid isn't it? Haha! haha... huft.. what should I do? It feels very tired. But my determination is still strong! .. Should I continue with my plan? I wrote and drew my plans on paper. what stupid kid. Hahaha .. should I continue my plan? or despair? which one is the best option?... But if I die I won't be hurt again, right? If I were alive I would continue to feel sick. I... dont have anyone anymore..