when i had erased everything so virtously with so much strength and cared to heal all the sacred memmories we possesed .. look at me so much of a loser i still treat them as memmories maybe they are just merely thoughts or my imgination who will beleive a girl telling her that she suddenly remdmbers the history of all her past lifetimes no one would beleive in her right? thats what i keep telling my heart , my soul because that what rationality says and i am practical , independent ,i am no longer a child who creates imagination of meeting a prince charming yet here i am again once more at the some point where i started just when i think this time i would value love less the soulmate i crave for the things are all just in my head or maybe my expectation just then my very existence becomes a resaon to seek love to seek out maybe that there is a special someone at the other side whose heart beats just for me who would love me for being me are these perks of being just getting through a phase or it happens just as the general verdict everyone puts forward as an explanation .

Bleiving is a scared word and i alwsys have felt it that it holds a special meaning to life that it makes the impossible to move gorward it gives hope and light that may be there at the end of the tunnel so if someone would want to ask me what did i wait for so long on the basis just some weried dreams or mere speculation or should i say intution ... my answer would be i believed it would happen some day that the fog would be lifted qnd the vows could be said again standing at the altar of the supreme power witnessed by the universe all i remeber were the light words spoken with a smile when they said you teo would be togther till ..and you spoke the words

" .....till eternity " i thought it would be forever since it was our souls who conversed more than our bodies but now see .. no matter how much i believed it seems to be a very distant reality and i came agin at the same point again maybe its not even a tunnel maybe its a merry go round and i am on this ride alone thinking someone would wish to join

just wanted to tell that its 2022 years have passsed and the wait does not seem to end call me mad because i think i have gone mad i just want to back off but afraid to back off what if its the last point and theres an end .. but since now i am calmer i think if 5here was a point i would have seen it leaving these words i think i dont want to beleive any longer and i am letting go of a feeling called love because sometimes even the strong need to release when they are tired of holding on

. or maybe the wait was not worth it from the start!

goodbye luv