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Heaven Or Hell

Second Glance

It’s dark and the air is thick. There seems to be shadows dancing within shadows. The constant shifting movement of black is all I can see no matter where I look. No sound inside this abyss either. Not even my own footsteps dare to make a noise. The silence is enough to drive someone mad. Aside from the shadows dance, beneath my bare feet are little ripples of where my feet meet what I assume is the floor of this place. Almost like walking on water. The effect doesn’t change the eeriness to this darkness.

'**Where am I going?'

'What is this place?'

'It feels like a dream but that's immpossible. I don't dream anymore.. not since**..'

 I halt my steps as I realize where that thought was going. Shaking my head to clear it out I start walking again. Looking forward through the abyss that surrounds me. In the distance I can see a small light emerge from the dark.

'Hm?'

Strangely attracted to this new development I grew curious to what it could be. From afar it only seems to be a faint glow of red.

**After a short while of walking I notice I haven't gotten any closer.

'I should have reached it by now.. Right?'

'I wonder if running would make a difference... Probably not**.'

 Coming to this conclusion, again I stop my advances to follow this strange light. Instead I just watch it. Wondering all the possibilities that could cause it. Being lost in thought about it I happen to notice it has drawn closer.

'Strange.. What changed?'

As the red glow progressed, closing in on me, I could tell it was multiple little specks.

'What are those?.. Fireflies? No, they aren't redand the movement is too slow.'

Then I noticed it carried a shadow of sorts, circling elegantly around it’s form. The dark figure seemed to be in the shape of a person. Not wanting to wait any longer for this thing to show up I try to meet it halfway. Only to find it heading away from me. Then coming to me after I’ve stopped.

'What is this.. Tag?'

 I drop the idea of hoping to just go after it or meet it and annoyingly accept that I have to wait. Patience has never been my thing. I hate waiting for anything or anyone. 

Eventually this person and it’s scattered red glow have made their way just a few feet from me. Obviously keeping some distance though. The figure upon inspection seems to be that of a young woman. Her slender form is cloaked beneath what appears to be a robe of sorts. The only features that give way to this idea is her long red hair peeking from under the hood, draping her shoulders. The way the robe clings to her chest is also a dead give away. She wears a smile, though that is all I can see of her face.

'Is she happy to see me?.. But her body language is depressed.. Nothing happy about it.'

Not wanting to startle her, I slowly inch forward. In doing so I gain the scent of something sweet and yet familiar. The sweet smell tickling my nose reminds me of spring. Just when the flowers have started budding.

Since she obviously wasn't going to start speaking first I decided to break the piercing silence.

"**Who are you?" -- She says nothing, just keeps smiling at me.

"Hello?" -- Again nothing**.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable I shift my weight a little at the eerie silence lingering around us.

"**What do you want?" -- Her smile fades she parts her thin natually glazed pink lips to speak. Her lips move but I hear nothing.

"What are you saying? I cannot hear you."

She repeats the soundless words and I study the movements. 'help me?'

"Help me? Is that what you said?" -- SHe only nods ever so slightly, so small of a movement I nearly missed it.

"How can I help you? What can I do?" -- I'm getting worried**.

She says nothing more, just returns the smile from before as a single tear streams down her shadowed cheek, dripping off her softly rounded chin.

"H-hey, why are you crying? I want to help you but you gotta tell me what to do, please don’t cry.”

I take a step forward not realizing and she turns from me. Her steps are light and delicate. The floor doesn't ripple under her like it does for me. Almost like she’s floating, but also silent as everything else here.

 “Wait! Who are you? What do you need help with?! Tell me!”

I start shouting at this mystery person as I frantically try to follow her. But, after just a few steps I find myself bumping into an invisible force.

"**What is this?" -- I place a hand in front of me, running my fingertips over it's surface. --"Is it glass?.. No, not glass.." The surface cracks under my soft touch.

Checking the places where my body had colided a minute ago, I notice the angel hair cracks that are there also. The surface feels rough but appears to be smooth like glass.

I refocuse my gaze on the girl before me but something catches my eye from the corner. It looks like a hole of some sort.

'She's heading right for it!'

"Hey, wait! Don't go that way! You'll fall in**!"

I shout but my words go unheard as she continues. I can feel my heart pounding from in my chest.

‘What do I do?’

I ask myself, slowly losing reason to the panic swelling up. With every step she takes my heart beats harder.

‘It hurts.. I can’t take it anymore.’

I give into the rising adrenaline and start brutally slamming my fists into the glass structure before me. The pain I feel is nothing compared to the pain in my heart. The cracks mimick the rising pain from within. Watching the girl get closer to the edge, fear begins to seep in under my panic.

"Please stop!"

I practically scream as I give the glass one big finale blow with all my strength. The cracks spread like a never ending maze along the surface before shattering into a million pieces around me. I don’t care and immediately kick off into a sprint.

'Please! Let me make it!"

Inches from the edge I out reach my right arm, reaching for anything I might be able to touch. She takes the final step and she slips through my nearing grasp. Empty handed I watched her fall. Watching however was not an option. Instinctively I plunged after her head first. My gaze became filled with shock when my eyes found her. She was falling backwards, and for the first time I could see her eyes. The wind of the fall had shifted her hood away from her face, revealing to me her whole appearance. I feel my eyes round with shock.

‘It can’t be! You're dead!’ I thought.

Eyes stinging from the tears trying to cloud my vision. Her face is still smiling even though she’s falling like this. As my hands stretched out just mere centimeters away from her, I felt something warm and wet hit my cheek. It rushed up and mingled with my own wet eyes.

'What is this?' -- Studying the all too familiar face I realize she’s crying still.

"Please stop crying. I'm here.. Just a little more.."

But once again she’s just out of my reach as the bottomless darkness around us swallows her whole right before my eyes. In a panic at my failed attempt to get to her in time, despair and anger overcome me. Just like it did eleven years ago.

“UKO!”

Accepting my fate in this strange world I close my eyes to hide the never ending darkness before them.

‘Sasori..’ -- A faint whisper echoes through my head.

‘Sasori..’ -- I hear it again.

‘Who’s calling me..’

‘Hey, sasori.. Wake up.’

It grows louder as the world around me slowly drifts away.

“Sasori.. Come on dude.. Wake up. Class is about to end.”

As the world vanishes my eyes slowly take in a new one. The blinding light makes it hard to open my eyes at first. It takes a few seconds to adjust to this bright world. There are plenty of people here, all sitting at their assigned tables. The casual sound of chatting with their partners fills my ears. The air is cold and smells like old paper and ink. Clearly I had fallen asleep in the middle of class.

 “Sasori, if you don’t wake up I’ll have no choice but to molest you where you sit"

The words seep in slow to my mind but faster to my mouth.

 “Like hell you will, Get Off!”

I sit up from my desk, shoving my hundred and ten pound best friend off of my back. Which has just now registered that he was leaning on me, almost as if to attempt hugging me from behind.

“Aw.. you're no fun, Sasori.”

I shoot him a glare as he holds up his hands in surrender.

“Relax.. You know I wouldn’t do anything anyways. I don’t roll like that.”

 “I wonder about that sometimes, Danny.” -- I roll my eyes silently, letting him know, ‘I don’t believe you.’

“Ouch.. How long have you known me? Almost eleven, maybe twelve years now? And you think I actually swing that way?”

“It’s because you're always so touchy with me, is exactly why I question it.. You don’t have a girlfriend, and have never dated for that matter, and you are always playing ‘dirty’ just to get a good laugh. So my apologies for questioning if you're actually gay or not.”

The bell rings, signalling the end of the school day. I get up to put my english books away and Danny follows suit.

 “Oh, by the way, Who is.. U-ko? I think that is what you said? You were sleeping and muttering to yourself and just randomly called the name out..”

I feel slightly embarrassed learning I was talking in my sleep, or sleeping at all in class as a matter of fact. Swallowing it down I look to my best friend. Thinking about it now I can’t really recall the dream.

 “I don’t know. I don’t recognize the name or remember the dream leading to it..”-- I tell him.

all the while a sense of ‘I should know this’ feeling washes through my mind.

‘Why can’t I remember anything?’ -- I wonder

zipping up my black and white messenger school bag and throwing the strap over my shoulder.

“Hmm..”

I can feel my friend staring me down with his ocean deep blue eyes, studying me like a lab rat of sorts.

‘Does he think I’m lying to him?’

 “Anyways, I was thinking about heading over to the cafe. You want to come if you're not busy?”

‘I have a history test to study for tomorrow, but other than that I’m pretty much free.’-- “Sure, I’ll come. Sweets would be nice.”

we walk out the door into the hall. It's busy and crowded with other students trying to get to their lockers and after school clubs.

 “Good. You look like you could use a pick-me-up after that ‘nightmare’ you seemed to have had. What are you thinking of getting today? I hear they have a new special this week. Strawberry sundae topped with macarons and other little goodies. And then there’s the Strawberry cheesecake with a soft drizzle of chocolate. Which sounds better to you?”

Danny always gets excited when Ma Cherie Sweets comes out with new items. He’s a bit of a foodie and has excellent taste when it comes to finding a good place to dine. Ma cherie sweets opened a few years ago and has been our go to place for everything since it’s grand opening. There isn’t another cafe or diner like it anywhere in town. The food is amazing and their desserts are like little pieces of heaven you put in your mouth. Truth be told, and he will never admit it, but aside from his love for food, he actually wants to see his crush, Iris, The daughter of the owner of Ma cherie sweets. Yeah I know, I always make fun of his sexuality but he really isn’t gay. Though he could pass it off if he really wanted to. Perks of being in theater arts/drama since junior high I guess.

Danny is lean, very well toned and muscular, about six foot tall and has surprisingly good locks of curly, jet black hair that he keeps gelled back. Giving him that fresh out of the shower and combed feel when you look at him. Then there’s his chiseled chin, Strong cheekbones, and a small delicate nose that hovers above his thin lips. And the ocean that plays in his eyes, any girl could get lost in those deep blues of his. It’s a wonder how he’s single sometimes with those looks. But I get it.

“They both sound good to me. Why don’t we get one or the other and then split them?”

“You want to share dessert with me? Well isn’t that sweet of you, honey.”

He jokingly says while lifting my chin with one of his slender fingers, forcing me to make eye contact. His other hand falling on my lower back.

'Is he serious! I thought he just said he didn't roll this way?!'

A different type of panic rushes me and I snap my chin free of his, braking eye contact and then pushing him back.

 “Ugh, really, dude!?”

I shake him off feeling a bit flustered and mad. While he just chuckles to himself. Clearly amused by my reaction. I just know my face is red with embaressment. Hopefuly he can't see it. Turning my back to him I take a deep reath to calm myself.

 “I swear, you have no boundaries whatsoever. And it’s not like we are gonna be feeding each other by the spoon. So cut it out.”

"**Awe, you mean you don't want an indirect kiss with your best friend?" -- He pouts a little, looking like a wounded puppy.

"Ugh, NO! If you keep this up, I'll just go home."

" Ok, Ok! I'm sorry. Your just to easy to mess with and your reactions are cute. I couldn't help it."

I roll my eyes again as we exit the school building**.

Part-time

We arrived at the cafe about fifteen minutes later. The bell above the door sounds and we can hear, Hanna.

“Welcome to, Ma Cherie sweets- Oh hey guys, It’s good to see you again.” she beams with a bright smile as she greets us.

Her long, straight black hair framing her rounded face. A gleeful gleam shines in her emerald eyes as she approaches the front counter. The counter raises from the floor just above my midsection.  It’s a marble white top with brown elegantly designed trimming of dark oak. The rest of the cafe follows the same suit. Marble white table tops with white booths and cushioned chairs framed with the same elegant wood. It’s a modern french style if I remember correctly. The walls are a matted color of cream and brown over laying each other to create a mosaic effect to compliment the overall style of each other which compliments the furniture. To finish the look there are several potted hydrangeas by the main entrance and in each corner near the windows. As well as small clear glass vases on some of the tables filled with pink lily flowers. It’s a very ‘cute’ and elegant establishment.

“Hey, Hanna, How's the shift going today? Any new ‘issues’?” I ask her.

During one of our first visits Hanna had some trouble with a group of guys that tried to harass her. It couldn’t really be helped since the uniforms for this cafe are a french maids outfit. Though nothing too revealing like you’d see on television or in movies. They keep it modest but sometimes even modest isn’t enough to keep people at bay. The colors are a variety. Hanna wears a soft purple, like a lavender, colored uniform. Which suits her slim and appealing figure. Since then, it’s been a common occurrence of harassment.

“No, nothing new this week. Thanks for checking on me. So what will it be? The special or the usual?” She asks us both.

“Special, one of each.” We answer at the same time.

Hanna just giggles to herself at our unison thought.

“Ok, got it. Would you like extra macarons, sasori? I know they’re your favorite.” She asks me.

I love how considerate she is.

“Yes, please and thank you.. So is Iris here today? Danny, here was hoping to try and ask her out again.” Danny elbows my arm and I just smile at him mischievously.

I love picking on him when it comes to Iris. The guy has been in love with her since elementary school.  But Iris, she’s a little dense. She doesn’t notice when people have fallen for her. Not sure if it has something to do with her interest in Soren or if she just doesn’t notice.

 “She is, She’s in the back. Danny, would you like me to call her up? I know you can do it this time.” She tells him. Hanna has always been supportive of Danny when it comes to Iris. She can tell just as much as I can how much he likes her.

 “O-oh.. Uh.. No that’s fine. I don’t want to.. Uh.. Disturb her while she is working.” He’s so cute when he flushes and get's all flustered like this.

 “Suit yourself. I’ll have these out in just a moment. Please, sit wherever you like.”

She scribbles our order down and skips off to the back. We head to our usual seating, a small booth in the back, along the far wall of the cafe next to a window.

Not even halfway seated in our booth we hear a scream from the back of the store. Instinctively we both dash around the front and straight behind the counter to check on the girls.

 “What is it?!” I shout followed by, “What’s wrong?!” From Danny.

Busting in through the kitchen's double wide swinging doors we take in the sight of Iris jumping up and down in excitement holding Hannah's hands. Hanna on the other hand has clear confusion spread across her face at her BFF. She turns to look at us with an apologetic smile.

 “I’m not sure what’s going on myself.. She just screamed and got all excited like this all the sudden.”

We let out a sigh of relief as there was no trouble and turned to head back to our seats.

“Wait a minute you two!” Iris shouts, still excited over whatever happened.

 We turn back around to look at her. “What?” We once again speak together.

“Our business has grown quite a bit over the last year and we could use some extra hands.. Would you two be interested in a part time job after school? I just got a message from my mom that we have enough business to hire some new people. We just hired a new girl who will be starting either tomorrow or the day after. And we need some.. Masculine figures, to even out the femanine effect of things. Please say you will?”

Still holding her bright smile I turn to face danny. We look at each other and then back to the girls. I considered the idea for a moment. 

'We come here often enough, we know all the items on the board, we can work nearly everything here as we sometimes help with sudden breakdowns on machines, it would offer full security for the girls, extra money in our pockets, Danny can get closer to Iris, and I could get discounts on sweets.'

 “I’ll take that offer.” I reply

 Danny just stares at me, jaw dropped and wide eyed.

“What? I understand why she’s asking us. It couldn’t hurt to pick up an after school shift. And besides, we practically live here after school anyways.”

 “Yeah, but I didn’t think you were the type of person to actually ‘work’. I mean you always seem lethargic. Lazy almost. You never want to do anything.” He explains.

Which again he has a point. I really don’t do much. No sports, no after school clubs. Just study and sit at home unless we hang out. I’ve never cared or had the energy for much else in life. Probably because my parents are topnotch doctors and cover everything for me. From my apartment to groceries, any bills i need paid, ect. But it sounds nice doing something on my own for once.

“That’s true, but I want to try something on my own for once.” I explain simply. “What about you?” I ask him.

 He contemplates the idea further before nodding in agreement to the offer made to us.

 “Great! I’ll call mom and let her know we have a full crew waiting approval. Can you start tomorrow after school?”

Danny and I both give her a nod.

“Awesome. Today's order is on the house as a small thank you and celebration for taking up the offer. I couldn’t ask for anyone better than you two.”

“Thanks Iris. But you don’t have to do that.” Danny tries to tell her.

 “Nonsense. I want to. So please accept it.”

She gives him one of her charming bright smiles and he just nods. Clearly taken aback by her beautiful grin, messy blonde hair that’s been pulled into a ballerina’s bun. Her soft pink uniform hugging every curve she has to show off. Glisening hazel eyes that are practically shining from the glittery pink eye shadow she’s wearing.

“You're so weak.” I whisper to him as we turn back to leave the kitchen.

 “Am not..” He says trying to hold back the pink warmth that’s spread from his cheeks to his ears.

“Oh, Hanna, I almost forgot. Uko is going to need a size twelve in uniform.”

At the sound of that name I can’t help but abruptly stop in my tracks. Danny kept going as I snapped my head back towards the girls.

 “What name did you just say just now?!” I didn’t mean to raise my voice but I couldn’t help it.

 “Uh.. Uko? Uko Ami. Why? You know her?” She asks, looking confused at my sudden questioning.

 “Ah, no, I don’t recognize the name. Sorry. I thought I did. But nevermind.” Shrugging my shoulders I leave and go sit down with Danny. Ever so slightly embarrassed by my sudden outbursts over the name.

Confession

While eating our desserts Danny goes on and on about how there’s a dance coming up in three weeks and that he would love to take Iris. But I’m only half listening, staring out the window watching the busy street move forward. My mind keeps thinking about what Danny had said earlier and now Iris.

‘Uko.. Who is Uko? Why is the name so familiar to me?... Is it just a coincidence or something else? What’s going on all the sudden? I can’t remember anything though.’

So many questions are racing through my head I don’t notice Danny trying to get my attention.

“Hey! Hellooo?” Danny pokes my nose as if hitting a reset button on my attention span. I look at him, blinking a few times in his direction.

“You need something?” I finally ask.

“Ugh, you're frustratingly cute when you space out like that you know. But, Yeah, I need to know if you plan to go to the dance or not? I know you won't go with anyone, but are you going?” He says slightly puffing at the fact I had spaced out too far by accident.

“Sorry. I don’t know yet. It’s still a bit a ways away. I’ll let you know what I decided the week before. K?”

“Hm, Ok. I hope you say you will. It wouldn’t be any fun without you.” He takes a bite of his cheesecake before continuing the conversation.

“So.. Uko Ami? You know her? Could it be the same Uko from your nightmare?” I choke on a piece of macaron at the sudden topic change.

‘Did he read my mind or something?’ I think to myself while clearing my throat.

“You ok?” He asks me.

“Yeah.. Just got some bits of cookie down the wrong pipe.. Ng.. And no. I don’t think I know her. Why do you ask?”

“Well it’s the same name you muttered in school while sleeping. And now there’s another mention of the name. So I was wondering if maybe it could be the same person. But you have no memory of the name or who it could be..” He trails off a little as if to ponder further.

“Did you read my mind or something Danny? I’ve been thinking about it myself this entire time.” I admit to him my thoughts and he just ever so slightly stiffens at the idea.

“Of course not.” He says turning his attention back to his desserts.

‘Odd.. It’s not like him to get nervous. Is he okay I wonder.’ I think to myself.

“Don’t worry about it.” He says suddenly, his gaze dead locked on mine now.

“What?” I ask.

“Huh?.. Nothing. I was just talking to myself.” He breaks our little staring contest and looks out the window for a bit, no longer interested in the food or conversation.

“Ok, did I say something to upset you Danny? Just tell me if I have.” I say, trying to figure out what’s going on. He sighs.

“If I could read minds.. How would that make you feel, I wonder?” He asks.

‘What an odd question.’ -- “Hmm.. Not something I really think about. I guess it wouldn’t bother me too much. I mean if it’s you. Why do you ask that type of question?” I’m curious now.

Thinking back to all the times he’s showed up at random times to help me out with stuff and when we would finish each other's sentences or speak together at once. How he always seems to know when something is troubling me. When I’m over thinking. Now that this question has arised I can’t help but think that maybe.

‘Is he trying to hint that he can?’

Before I can process any further Danny looks back at me. Holding my gaze a moment. His blue eyes look worried.

“Yes, Sasori. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

‘Did.. Did he just answer my thoughts?’

“That’s right. I did. I'm a telepathy user.” I sit back in my seat and cross my arms looking down at my now empty plate.

‘How do I process this.. I wasn’t exactly expecting him to get serious about it. Maybe it’s another joke.. But he looks so serious. I don’t think he is.'

“Ugh!”

I unfold my arms and place my elbows on the table sinking my fingers into my scarlet hair.

“I wasn’t expecting this from you.. Why don’t we go to my house and talk it over some? You can explain to me better there. It’ll be a bit more quiet too. Away from anyone that may overhear.”

I start to pull out my wallet to pay but Danny has already pulled out some cash and laid it out.

“Sounds good. Let’s go.” I nod and we grab our stuff and say our goodbyes on the way out.

I’m still trying to process the whole idea of him being telepathic. I can’t say I don’t believe him considering how he answered my unspoken questions at the cafe. The walk to my apartment is a silent one. He must be worried about being rejected. I couldn’t possibly reject him. He’s been my best friend since I moved to this country. We reach my place and I unlock the door. As soon as we enter we place our bags down by the door and sit in the living room. It’s a small one bed apartment, nothing fancy or anything like out of one of those home magazines or apartment guides. It’s silent for a long moment before I finally speak up.

“So you can read minds? Like for real?” I ask the two questions that have been circling the most.

“Yes..” He does not want to look at me.

“Ok then. How long have you been able to do it?” I ask next.

“For a few years now.. You remember that accident I was involved in two years ago? It happened after that. I woke up in the hospital and just could. I had sustained a head injury of sorts.”

I nod remembering that time. I spent a lot of my evenings visiting after school while he recovered from the car accident.

“Does anyone else know about it?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No. You're the first person I’ve actually told. I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. Not from you.” He pauses a few seconds. “Do you believe me? Do you think I’m..”

I hold up my hand to stop that last question.

“I believe you and I don’t think you’re weird or a freak.. It makes sense now looking back. So don’t worry about me.. But I have to ask.. Are there limits or anything like that? How does it work?”

Feeling a bit excited about my friend's ability, I want to learn what I can.

“I’m glad to hear you say that. I was a bit worried you were going to reject me for being different. How does it work? I’m not sure how to answer that. I’m still trying to figure it out myself. But don’t worry. I don’t use it all the time. Like now. I didn’t want to hear your thoughts before hearing it personally come from you.”

“That’s kind of cool.” It’s all I could manage to say. “So.. What now? Obviously I don’t tell anyone. At least not without your say.”

He shrugs. I guess he doesn’t know either.

“Ok, well why don’t we study a little then? I have a test tomorrow in my “Myths and legends” history course.”

“Ok. Couldn’t hurt to review some papers I finished earlier during class.”

So for the next few hours we study and order some chinese delivery before calling it a day. I see Danny out and head to my room.

Laying on the bed I keep thinking about Danny’s gift and all the things he must hear. I sort of feel bad that he hasn’t much choice in the matter. I wonder if he gets headaches. Thinking this I remember how often I’ve seen him rub his temples at school and while hanging out in general.

“Maybe I should start carrying some painkillers from now on.” My eyelids grow heavy and the world goes dark as I fall asleep.

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