“Ma’am! Ma’am! Sandali lang po!”, sigaw ko sa aming head habang hinahabol siya.

“Pinapaalala ko sayo na sa Linggo na ang due date nyan! Don’t disappoint me Rachel!”, sagot nito at biglang nag-walk out.

Pano ko na itutuloy to ngayon?

“Rachel. In my office please.”, tawag naman ng supervisor sa department ko.

Minadali ko na lang ang pag-aayos ng gamit ko sa desk at pumunta sa office niya.

“Yes po ma’am?”, tanong ko sa kanya at pumasok na sa office.

“Sit down.”,

“Rachel.. it’s about your performance for this last three months. I know you had gone through a break up but don’t let that ruin your life and your career. You’re our best writer. We’re hoping to promote you but, there’s no chance of that kung wala ka nang gagawin sa araw-araw. Rachel, don’t fix the problem... instead correct the outcome. You can excuse yourself.”,

“Yes po Ma’am.”,

“Have your papers done by Friday. So we can edit and have an article already. A proper one alright? Good luck! Nandito lang kami ha? You can go home now. Focus on the paper Rachel!”, sigaw nito habang umaalis na ako ng office niya.

“Oh Rachel? Uuwi ka na?”, tanong ng katrabaho kong si Dylan.

“Oo, pinapasulat na ako ng bagong article eh. Akalain mo yun! Bumisita yung Head natin para lang sa akin!”, biro ko sa kanya.

“Hay nako! Ayusin mo na lang sarili mo! Umuwi ka na nga!”, balik nito at bumalik na din sa kanyang ginagawa.

Umuwi muna ako at nag leave ng isang linggo para lang matapos ko na ang paborito na article ng mga tao sa aming dyaryo.

(Biglang tumunog ang telepono)

Huh? Bakit ngayon pa?

“Rachel! Nabaliataan mo na ba? Magre-resign na si Ms. Lopez! Kaka-announce niya lang pagka-alis mo!”, minadaling chismis ni Roseta.

“Panong magre-resign? I mean antagal na niyang plano yan pero bakit ngayon?”,

“Paanong matagal na? Alam mo yung tungkol don?”, gulat na tanong nito.

“Oo, alam na ng mga nasa office, kung umaattend ka kasi ng meeting malalaman mo!”, sagot ko naman dito.

“Ahhh, pasensya na ha! Kita mong kailangan kong umuwi ng maaga para sa anak ko diba! Ikaw kamo Rachel...”,

“Oo na! May gagawin pa ko kaya balitaan mo na lang uli ako mamaya.”, sabi ko sa kanya at ibinaba na ang telepono.

Ughhh!! It has been so long since the last time I wrote something!! HEHE charot.

Pero ano naman kayang pwede kong pagtripan na topic ngayon? Feature writer lang naman ako. Wait nga lang! Hindi pa sila nagbibigay ng topic! Hay nako balik na nga muna ako sa office.

(Bumalik nga sa office)

“Oh Rachel! Welcome back! Natapos mo na ba yung pinapagawa sayo?”, salubong ni Dylan sa akin.

“Dylan, nasaan na lang si Ms. Lopez?”,

“Saan pa ba edi nasa office niya. Nag-iimpake na yata.”, bulong nito.

“Sige pala, sa Thursday ko na lang ipapasa sayo.”,

“Ohhh, what is this naka-move on na nga ba si Rachel? May bago na ba? O may pag-asa na ako?”, biro nito.

“Dylan mag trabaho ka na lang. Tandaan mo marami akong na miss sa feature! Marami ka pang i-eedit.”, sigaw ko sa kanya habang lumalayo ang pagitan naming dalawa.

“Oo na!”, balik nito.

Kumatok na ako sa Office ni Ma’am at pumasok pagkasunod.

“Ma’am may suggestion po ba kayo para sa feature ko? Nagkaka-mental block na ko eh.”,

“Hmmm. Ok, how about... “Bakit”? Make that into a topic! I know you can! We’re counting on you. We need “Rachel’s Writings” back! I can count on you right?”,

“Ma’am one question lang po.”,

“Sige ano ba yon?”,

“Bakit po... uhmmm, “Bakit”?”,

Tumawa ito...

“Bakit nga ba hindi ba?”,

Napaisip tuloy ako... paanong bakit?

“Ma’am okay lang po ba kayo? Never pa po kayo nag-suggest ng ganyan kalalim na topic.... may problema po ba?”,

“Yes Rachel! Meron nga!”,

Umupo siya bigla at sinimulan ang kanyang kwento.

“Let me tell you about my love story.”,

“Ma’am sigurado ho ba kayo? Mamaya po makakuha pa ako ng ideya dahil sa kwento niyo.”,

“At ano namang masama dun? Law of equivalent exchange Rachel... you get your story and I’ll have someone to listen.”,

“Uhmm. Ok po.”,

Umupo ako sa harap ng desk niya at nakinig sa pagsisimula ng kwento.

“Ok, me and my current fiancé met at a diner in the U.S. Alam ko parang nag blind date kami, pero hindi para sa isa’t isa. Alam mo yung parang nagkabaliktad kami ng dapat na makilala. From then, habang nandoon ako para sa bakasyon nagme-meet kami. 1 week lang yata yung leave ko nun, and after that I need to go back here for work. But thanks to you, I was able to extend the time I have there.”,

“Wait lang po... panong dahil sa akin?”,

“Hindi ba’t nag-suggest ka ng 1 month paid vacation? Tapos eksaktong may leave ako! So na extend for more days.”,

“Ahhh, oo nga pala.”,

“Tutuloy ko na ha?”,

“Sige po ma’am go ahead.”,

“And so mayroon na akong 1 month vacation, at best part may bayad pa! And then nalaman niyang na-extend. He was exhilarated with the news and invited me to stay with him at his apartment, for the time I have left.”,

“That’s sweet of him? Ay sorry po, continue.”,

“Alright.We spent every second together, we would go to the marketpalce together, do gardening and cook together, pero kahit anong gawin namin natatandaan kong wala kaming label...”,

Napatawa ako bigla..

“Ay sorry po ma’am. Aksidente lang po..”,

“Ok lang yan Rachel, at least nga ikaw may sense of humor eh. Kasi the whole time na magkasama kami sa U.S. wala man lang siyang joke na masabi sa akin. As in kahit anong pick-up lines, wala!”, inis na pahayag nito.

“Nag-improve naman po ba habang nagtagal?”,

“Sana...”, balik nito at sabay kaming nagtawanan.

“Ay ma’am, yung kwento niyo po pala.”,

“Ay oo nga! Hayss!!”,

“Parang two days bago matapos yung bakasyon na yon. Tinanong niya na rin ako! Like finally, this is it. He asked me kung papayag ba akong maging gf niya. So of course I answered “yes”! He also told me at the time that he was half Filipino and that he and his family owns a small house near Cavite.... I think . He needed to get his Filipino citezenship first before we can get on with our relationship. I mean sino ba namang gustong makipag-date sa illegal loader diba. Even before he got his citizenship we were already staying together at my house.

After some paperwork his request was finally granted. We informed our parents after that. And they were more excited than us! It was the best day in our relationship. I never told anyone here because I don’t want things getting out of hand, and then become a rumour.”,

“How long has it been?”, tanong ko sa kanya.

“Naging interview na yata to ha! Sige, payag ako.”,

“Uhmmm. 2 and 1/2 years already. We’re going great, then just last month he proposed... everyone was looking forward to it. Then a bigger announcement hit us.”, dagdag niya pa.

“Ma’am, ok lang po kung wag niyo na ituloy.”,

“I insist. Don’t worry, this’ll help you and the company.”,

Ma’am ano ba naman yan!! Naalala ko nanaman yung ex ko!!

“Since our parents never really met, like in person. They don’t know what each other looks like. We weren’t aware na nagde-date na pala yung parents namin. Alam mo yung mas matagal na sila sa relasyon namin. But that never bothered us. It was so hard for everyone to process. But we got through it.... by letting each other go.”, malungkot na paliwanag nito.

“Ma’am I’m so sorry to hear that.”,

“Don’t be. I mean the preperations are all ready. Pero alam mo yung mas malaking shock sa amin? Yung mga kapatid namin against sa relasyon nila. Kasi wala man lang pasabi... pero that didn’t stop them.”,

“Ma’am, are you mad at them too?”,

“Why wouldn’t I be? This is my happiest relationship so far! Pero may dahilan kung bakit ayaw nila magpatalo sa amin. It’s the fact that my fiancé’s mother was confirmed to have ****** cancer. When they broke the news to us, they said these words along with it.

“Why do I want to marry again you ask? Because I have no time left... I never get to experience any other romance since your father died. In fact I never get to experience any other things when he died! I was raising the most wonderful kids in the best way I can. After all this time chasing after your dreams, why can’t you support me on mine? Iho, I know I’m asking so much from you, pero can you help me achieve my dream? You can always answer no, and I’ll always be here to support you.”. “,

PUNYETA ANG LAKAS MAKAHUGOT NG NANAY NG JOWA NI MA’AM!!!

Napaluha ng unti si ma’am.

“Ma’am wait lang kuha muna ako tissue.”,

Pero bago pa ako makatayo ay pinigilan niya ako.

“Rachel these are tears of joy. Because they’re going to be married anytime this month. Sit down I need to tell you my Father’s statement next.”,

At syempre umupo naman ako.....

“My father agreed with her, and said this; “I want to experience new things just like she said.Pero kung ayaw mo, I’ll quit it. Pasensya na sa madi-disappoint ko pero. I’ll be here for that little girl who became a finer woman than anyone else, and that’s you Christina. You can get married if you want to. Make him stick to you like glue ok?”. “,

“Ma’am you have a wonderful father. I know you chose whatever that makes them happy, by giving up yours. Know that I’ll always be here for you.”,

“Thank you Rachel.. well better get started on that article huh?”,

Umalis muna ako para pumunta sa aking desk. Tama na ba yung kwento niya para sa article ko? And then may nangyaring di inaasahan sa office namin....

“Guys! Tumawag kayo ng ambulansya dali!! Si Miss Lopez nahimatay! Dalian ninyo!”, sigaw bigla ng officemate namin.

\(To Be Continued —\-\>\)

“Oh wag po tayo magsiksikan. Ma’am magiging ayos lang po ang lahat, ok? Clear the way!”, sigaw ng rescuer.

“Get well soon po ma’am!”, sigaw ng marami sa amin habang lumalayo na ang ambulansya.

“Ano yun? May nasabi ba sayo si Ms. Lopez habang nandoon ka sa loob kanina?”, tanong ni Dylan habang nasa Elevator.

“Wala naman... tungkol lang naman sa topic ko sa article yung pinag-usapan namin ih.”,

Sa totoo lang ano nga bang nangyari kay Ma’am? Wait nga lang!!! OMG!! Wag mo sabihing...

“Hindi naman pwedeng buntis si Ma’am diba?”, biglang sigaw ko.

“Oh my god. Hindi nga?”, tanong pa ng isa.

“Huy, wag nga kayong gumawa ng chismis. Nagtatanong lang din ako noh!”, depensa ko.

“Pero think about it. Hindi ba’t nag-refuse si Ma’am nung may promotion dapat siya? Paano kung ayaw niyang tanggapin kasi mas mabuting mag rest siya para sa baby? Just asking ha.”, sabat ni Dylan.

“Good point, pero nung ako ang nabuntis ok lang naman daw sabi ng doktor, I mean basta walang kahit anong bisyo.”, dagdag pa ni Roseta.

“Roseta, paano nga kung buntis si Ma’am. Hindi naman kayo parehas ng katawan. At let me remind you na secret lang ang dahilan ng pagre-resign ni Ma’am, kaya may slight possibility na ayun yon.”,

“Alam niyo bisitahin na lang natin si Ma’am kapag Off Day natin.”, dagdag ko at lumabas at saktong nakarating na kami sa floor namin.

“Bakit hindi na ngayon? Hindi ba’t pwede nang umuwi kapag wala na yung supervisor? Kapag emergency.... oh ano game kayo? At tsaka Friday naman ngayon, hanggang 4 pm lang tayo.”, paalala ni Roseta.

“Tara na pala. I mean quarter to 4 naman na.”, sagot ng isa naming katrabaho.

“Linisin niyo na yang mga yan. Kailangan na nating bilisan.”,

Hindi na kami nagdalawang isip na puntahan si Ma’am at malaman ang dahilan kung bakit siya nahimatay.

(Nasa company service papuntang ospital)

“Guys, hindi ba weird na never nagsasabi sa atin si Ma’am tungkol sa life niya? I mean kahit mga problema niya wala siyang pasabi.”, reklamo ng isa naming katrabaho.

“Ok lang yan. Kung gusto I-private ni Ma’am ang family life niya at work life ok lang. Pero kung may problema siya mas ok na magsabi siya diba?”, sagot ni Dylan.

“Si Ma’am Christina ba yang pinag-uusapan niyo? Balita ko nahimatay siya kanina ah.”, tanong ng driver sa amin.

“Opo, bakit niyo naman po natanong?”,

“Last week, pagkarating natin sa trabaho may dinaanan kami ni Ma’am bago siya umuwi. Ewan ko ba kung bakit pero paglabas niya pawis na pawis siya’t parang kinakabahan. At bago din siya pumasok dito may tinapon siya.”,

“Manong, saan ba kayo galing ni Ma’am. At nakita mo ba kung ano yung tinapon niya?”, tanong ko sa driver.

“Parang thermometer yata. Abay ewan ko ha, wala na akong alam sa mga etse etse ngayon.”,

“Sa ospital ba kayo galing?”,

“Ay hindi naman sa ospital parang sa clinic lang ata. Maliit lang eh.”,

“Guys sa tingin niyo...”,

“Siguro, parang thermometer daw yung itsura eh.”,

(Nakarating na sa ospital)

“Uhmm... nurse, excuse lang po... galing po kami sa Kingston Publishing. May na admit po kaming senior.”,

“Uhmm.. Christina Lopez? Siya ho ba hinahanap niyo?”,

“Yes po.”,

“Sa room 301 po siya. Just take the elevator to get to the third floor. After that just get to the third room.”, balik ng nurse sa amin.

“Ah thank you po Miss.”,

(On the Elevator)

“Guys sa tingin niyo ok lang na makita tayo ni Ma’am?”,

“Sa totoo lang hindi talaga muna dapat tayo bumisita eh, I mean kung gusto niya i-private, i-private niya. Ok na siguro kung naresolba niya na yun sa family niya diba?”,

“Wala na tayong magagawa, nandito na tayo diba? Wag niyo na lang ipahalata na may problema. At kung magtatanong kayo, please ask permission first.”, paalala ni Roseta sa aming lahat.

Bumaba na kami ng elevator at dumiretso na sa kwarto ni Ma’am .

Kumatok ang isa sa mga katrabaho namin at matikas na lalaki ang bumukad ng pinto,

hindi kaya ito yong jowa ni ma’am?

“Uhmm.. you are?”, tanong nito.

Natulala kami ng saglit at biglang nag-salita na si Dylan.

“Uhmmm.... katrabaho po. Room po ba toh ni Ms. Christina Lopez?”,

“Oh, anong ginagawa niyo dito?”, tanong agad ni Ma’am nang nakita niya kami.

“MA’AM!”, sigaw namin nang makita si Ma’am na mukang matamlay ang itsura na naka-upo sa higaan niya.

“Uhm, hun. I’ll excuse myself muna.”, sabi ng jowa ni Ma’am at lumabas.

“Guys, wag muna kayo magsik-sikan. Nahihilo pa ako unti kaya, please clear a little space.”,

“Ay opo Ma’am, sorry po at excited lang kami na makita kang ok na. May tanong lang po ako ma’am.”,

“Ano ba yon?”,

“Ano po bang dahilan kung bakit kayo nahimatay kanina?”,

“Uhmmmm... gusto ko, na sa parents ko muna sadabihin eh. Pero why not?”,

“BUNTIS BA KAYO MA’AM?”, masayang sigaw ni Roseta.

“Roseta!”, parang galit na sabi ni Ma’am.

“Ay. Ano po ba?”,

“Pero tama ka nga!”, masayang hirit nito.

Nagsigawan kami sa sobrang tuwa sa news ni Ma’am.

“Hala Ma’am, Congrats!”, dagdag pa ng isa sa amin.

“Salamat, may suggestions ba kayo sa names?”,

“Kung girl Ma’am Rachel na lang!”, sigaw ni Dylan.

“Ay weh! Paborito ako ha?”, biro ko sa kanila.

Nagtawanan at nag kwentuhan kami ng isa pang oras, hanggang dunating na ang family ni Ma’am.

“Sige pala guys, babalik na lang ako doon kapag mag-iimpake na ako.”,

“I’d say that went well!”, sabi sa amin ni Dylan habang naglalakad papunta sa terminal.

“Guys, we still have to wait until the baby is actually born you know?”, banat ni Roseta.

“Huy babae bilisan na natin, may anak ka pa!”,

“Ay oo nga pala! Rachel, Dylan una na kami! Bukas na lang uli.”,

“Sige na Roseta! Paka-inin mo na yang anak mo. Una na din pala ko Rachel, mag-ingat ka!”, paalam ni Dylan.

Sa wakas magkaka-pamilya na din si Ma’am! Sana naman magtuloy-tuloy na yung blessings niya, deserve niya lahat ng magagandang bagay na mangyayari sa kanila ng partner niya.

(Final day na ng packing ni Ma’am)

“Ma’am! Wag niyo po kami kakalimutan ha! Mami-miss po namin kayo.”, malungkot na pagpapaalam ni Roseta.

“Ma’am, kung lalaki po yang anak niyo, Dylan ha!”, biro na lamang ni Dylan.

“Sige ba. Pero pag babae ok lang ba Rachel?”, tanong niya sa amin.

“Syempre Ma’am, makakatanggi pa po ba kami. Eh, desisyon niyo naman na po yan. Good luck po Ma’am.”, paiyak na pagpapaalam ng iba.

“Alagaan niyo tong office ha. Roseta ikaw na bahala. Ikaw na pumalit sakin... alagaan niyo yung isa’t isa. Oh tapos na sila, mauna na kami.”,

Kumaway na kami sa kanya habang lumalayo na siya sa aming opisina. Sayang at natameme lang ako, ano naman kaya sasabihin ko? Hindi naman ako magaling jan!

“Ok guys, balik na tayo! Let’s go!”, sigaw ni Roseta na pumalit na kay Ma’am Lopez bilang Supervisor.

And so I was back to work, Rachel’s Writings is back. Though within that span of time, 3 months or so... Ms. Lopez, had an accident.

She had a miscarriage.

“Guys... nabalitaan niyo ba yung nangyari kay Ma’am?”,

“Syempre alam na natin yun. Makakabisita pa ba kaya tayo?”,

Ayan mismo ang kumalat sa office namin. Paano nangyari yon? Mahaharap kaya namin si Ma’am sa sitwasyon niya ngayon?

Nilabas ko na lang ang cellphone ko at sinubukan siyang tawagan.

Kaso, walang sumagot. Mahirap tanggapin kaya matagal pa bago maka-revover si Ma’am, kaya kung di pa siya handa.... hindi muna ako manggugulo.

(2 Weeks After..)

“Ma’am! Ma’am! O-ok na po ba kayo... pasensya na po kung natanong ko yun... pero...”,

“Wait.. ako muna. Please wag mo muna sabihin sa iba. Uhmm... pwede ba tayong magkita? Kung may oras ka lang, I mean ayoko namang mawala ka sa focus. Your article is beautiful by the way.”,

“Ma’am, sa Sabado po ba okay lang? Day off ko po nun... sa Cafe na lang sa tapat ng office ok lang po ba?”,

“Sige, salamat sa pag-iintindi.”,

Ma’am, kaya niyo yan... nandito lang kami para sayo. Walang magbabago... kahit mahirap, nandito kaming lahat para sayo.

\(To Be Continued ——\-\>\)

(Araw ng Sabado)

“Oh? Bakit ka nandito ngayon? Di ba day off mo?”, tanong ni Dylan nang makita niya akong lumabas ng elevator.

“Uhmmm... may gusto lang sana ako sabihin kay Roseta...”,

“Uy! Rachel, anong ginagawa mo dito?”, eksaktong pagdating ni Roseta.

“Si Ma’am.. uhh. May koneksyon na ba kayo kay, Ma’am?”, pagkukunwaring tanong ko na lamang.

“Rachel, alam kong mahirap.. pero wala pa talaga. Siguro susubukan ko na lang uli siyang tawagan. Umuwi ka na muna, magpahinga ka ok?”,

Umalis na muna ako at dumiretso sa Cafe na dapat naming puntahan.

Isang oras pa akong naghintay, gusto ko lang talaga siyang makita... hindi ko na kayang maghintay.

“Ma’am! Dito po.”, sigaw ko nang makita siya na papasok sa Cafe.

“Rachel! Oh kamusta naman na kayo sa office? I bet Roseta’s taking good care of everything!”,

“Uhmmm... mag order na po ba ako?”,

“Go ahead Rachel. I’ll just have what your having.”,

I filled out our order and kept talking while we were waiting. She was smiling... but why do I feel this way? HAHAH!

“Ma’am? Okay lang po ba talaga kayo? Sorry to bring it up now, but I’m worried. Please don’t keep it bottled up inside. You’ve helped our co workers through so much. Let me help you.”,

She was still smiling, we received our orders, and entered personal business.

“Rachel, with or without your help I’ll stay being myself. Nothing can ruin me. Not a miscarriage and not even a break up. Ask ko nga lang ha. Matatandaan mo pa ba ako kahit sumikat ka na sa pagiging magaling mo sa pagsusulat?”,

Ma’am, ano po ba yang sinasabi mo?

“Bakit naman po kita kakalimutan? Your my biggest ally and friend. Walang makakalimot sa inyo.”,

Was it enough for her to hear me say that? Ma’am don’t do this to yourself....

“Can you write something for me one day?”

Ma’am... no..

“Of course po. You’ll be forever remembered.”,

She gave put a smile of contentment...

She’s ready huh? Why now though....

“Hay nako! Kain ka na nga lang. At tsaka may check up pa ako mamaya kaya bilisan na natin.”,

She seemed fine, although looks can be deceiving. Our whole conversation felt so normal, I could at least do it for her... she’s done so many things for us anyway.

After our little meet up, I wanted to tell the others, but I couldn’t since I never asked her about it... her secret’s safe with me for now.

I wrote things like I normally would.. my article stayed for good now.

A month or so after our conversation, she was posting all kinds of things while travelling..... it was her own travel vlog, and that’s one way for everyone to communicate with her again.

Though that’s not the end of her story it was just getting ready for the big twist.

After she got home from Laguna, our Head, told us something terrible.

Pumasok siya ng office na parang paiyak na.

“Uhmmm.... gather po muna tayong lahat at, magdasal.”.

Mataimtim kaming nagdasal, malalaman na nila... after that she told us what was on her mind.

“Kahapon ng 2 o’clock ay iniwan na tayo ng dati nating katrabaho na si Ms. Christina Lopez. She was having hard time with her miscarriage and the fact that her long time boyfriend cheated on her with her own sister. She was probably tired, which made her take her own life. You can still visit her until sunday at their residence. Please send your last regards and wishes. That’s all. You can go back to work now.”,

She left our office with a devastating look on her face.

“Guys, bumisita na lang tayo. Ano pa bang magagawa natin? Go back to work everyone, we still have work to do.”,

Our whole company mourned for her, we visited only in our free days because we weren’t exactly given time off. But when her funeral came we closed the building and invited everyone who can come.

Her ex and her sister were also there, but they didn’t say a word... they were also further away from everyone.

“Kita mo yan, walang awa. Namatayan na nga ng anak yung kapatid niya, kumabit pa. Like, why?”, galit na sabi ni Roseta.

“Roseta. Behave yourself, we’re in a funeral for crying out loud!”, bulong naman ng isa naming senior.

“Hindi naman mali si Roseta, but please respect the dead.”, dagdag naman ng isa pa.

We proceeded with the eulogy, and headed to the cemetery.

We threw roses, and prayed for her safe crossing, noone can replace you, you’re one of a kind. I’m not good at words but I hope you can understand that this is all I can say to you for now. Hinding-hindi po namin kayo makakalimutan, mami-miss namin kayo, Ms.Lopez.

(End)