I am Dijah highschool student and teenager, I wake up everyday to go to school just like any of you. The school where I go is kind of special only for geniuses who are ambitious and one day they can make it big.

As a teenager I always had a dream where I could fall in love, lay down in green grasses with my loved one and go for ice creamies without thinking about anything else. I was not looking for platonic, playful or puppy love I was looking for the real thing.

If love is equal and universal why is it the most difficult thing to find?. Early morning go to school for my classes which are always mathematics, computer science and music, but of all subjects I always loved music classes because it's where I could be myself without being shy then I would go straight home.

At home am the first child with two sisters and one brother that being the case my parents always made sure that I have to act accordingly for my young siblings to follow, everything I do it was just not me but for the whole family, it started to become exhausting having big responsibility on your shoulder while your aslo a teenager yet you just want to enjoy your self which is not possible.

At home other than going lock myself in my room our parents where not really on good terms fighting all the time so life somehow start to fall apart. Then later one morning our mum left so it was just us and my siblings plus dad.As everything started to revolve around things started getting more complicated as in my father comes from a family where he was born one having step sisters and step brothers, they never liked him because he was smart which made us also being hated.

Among all of them our dad was the most successful and also having smart kids us. So they decided to do everything they can so that they can destroy him as always me also I focusing on my studies to become better so that I can help my dad. What didn't know that the hatred from other family members had started to grow to the extent of hating us kids plus everything we did it was so tormenting and painful experience but that was just the beginning.

I started to ask myself what can I do being a kid defenseless no wings to fly you just have to endure everything but our dad was also doing his best to protect us and always making sure we safe and sound. It was one day, me my dad and my young siblings we were watching football and then had a knock on the door so dad stood up to go and check who was knocking, we jus saw two gunned men standing aiming at us I was scared but then I didn't want to scare the young ones I made myself strong. The men broke inside held my dad started hitting him on head and shot him one bullet in the stomach we saw our dad crying yearning in agony of pain but there was thing we could do, my fits just froze then thought of some thing told my younger brother to run and ask for help to see if they can save dad.

I looked the grin in his eyes it's something I will never forget, the burglar or thieves we will never know what they wanted why they attacked but after they just left, dad layed on the floor in stain of blood. After moments has passed finally got help, but it meant I was going to be the head of the family until dad recovered, I remained there just gazing in blank remembering one day before the attack dad had promised to take us at the farm house on weekend. We had a farm house which had all kids of animals starting from birds, rabbits, ostrich, turkey, goats and cattle it was so lively everytime we went there.

Because dad was fond of agriculture he taught me some skills how to deal with farm animals and treating them plus herbal medicine, the situation continued to get out of control being the support for my young siblings had to be strong yet am also a kid I need someone I can lean on. I had to learn it the harder way but it didn't stop me from doing what I have to do, continued going to school as well as thinking about other ways we can handle the situation.

As they say where there is a loss, some people see profit because of what happened the other family members were busy exploiting our family business and assets, because among them our dad was the most successful one, people always admired him because of this smartness and integrity. They took the opportunity as he was sick bed to destroy everything us being kids we were helpless there was nothing we can do. By the time dad recovered we had already lost everything because he took long time in coma fighting for his life and some serious injuries on his back bone.

Seeing dad struggling with the situation to get back on top after recovery it somehow also affected us mentally, the only thing I could do is study hard. Through the whole process I changed become completely anti social at school even the music classes I used to enjoy they no longer mattered to me because I didn't want to do anything that requires gathering at school my safest place become the library where I could read about alot of interesting things like philosophy.

At times like this philosophy helped me improve my critical thinking and reasoning, reason is concerned with the grounds of determination of the will. My frequent visits at the library happened to be a boy who had a crush on me, he was smart good looking and from a very good family, even though love was something I wanted at first as time passes with the circles of life I couldn't afford to lose myself to someone else that would be a total disaster. Now I came to think of it when I asked mum how she used to manage everything in whatever situation she had to face and still remained calm and humbled, she just told me experience is the best teacher it's something you will have to face your self somehow to understand better.