I never understand the concept of let go someone because you love them. Isn't it

weird  if you love someone why would you

let them go at first place , instead you would want them to stuck by your side

forever right?! until I met him...letting someone go is not something you can

describe in words. It doesn't matter how much I love him or he love me, what

matters is even if we love each other we can't be together because of some

reason. I let go of him because I cant see him getting hurt , I let go of him

because I love him and I don't want him to wait for me more.

This is my story, a story of a life long love which I wasn't even sure about at first.

Which happen coincidently like a fairy tale which consists of haters and

supporters.

In this world of people filled with so many desires , he( named bill) was the one who

make me feel that he doesn't feel anything towards me. So I never considered

him to be someone whom I can like even in future. I don't know why at that time

where ever I see , I only saw couples loving each other, making promises to be

together for a long long time. I constantly make friends and at some point they

start loving me and end up proposing me and always spoiled the bond between us.

He was the only one who survived 8 months with me. finally that day come when he

realized that he can't hide his feelings anymore. He was worried if he'll

spoiled the friendship between us. What if I'll be disappointed in him after

knowing what he feels for me.

Truthfully he never had given me a single hint that he liked me. he decided to propose me

on valentine's day. You know somewhere I always knew that he like me because

whenever i talk to him about my boyfriend(EX) , he always look so disappointed

and grumpy , but I never considered it as a hint.

About my boyfriend from 5 years ago:

He was my junior , I will not lie he was quite good looking. On the very second day of

our relationship. He called me to come and meet him at the corridor. When i

reached there he suddenly pushed me to the wall and started kissing me. i was

trying to stop him but i couldn't .even if we were in a relationship , i

couldn't get used to what he did because when he was kissing me i couldn't feel

the love but lots of lust. When i went back home , i rubbed my lips with the

hard soap to get rid of that feeling of kissing him. After thinking for four

days i decided to broke up with him. I was disappointed in myself for making

such a reckless choice.

Still to this day , i wasn't able to tell bill about this incident . Because whenever i

think about it , it make me feel so disgust in myself that i couldn't even

handle it.

Falling in love is like a magic, isn't it? Two different person like each other at the

same time. Its always burdensome to reject those who love you because you can't

love them back . Specially those who are close to you and you try your best not

to hurt them and also you don't want to give them hope. You can never dislike a

person you have liked by your heart because liking someone is not your choice.

You can never tell the reason why you like them because the reasons you are thinking

are not reasons but memories.

Finally  it was 14 February , the valentine's day . I

was in my couching Centre with all my batchmates when one of them proposed me.

Eventually he wasn't bill, bill was just watching from the corner. After

rejecting him , i went to bill to say hello and suddenly his friend said ,'

today he is also going to propose someone.'

Yeah , I was shock. Because he didn't told me about that he is having a person whom he

liked so much. I asked him thousands of times about that girl but he was just

standing frozen. After 3 hour of waiting I decided to go back home.

I said,' okay! I can't wait any longer I hope you'll propose her today . Good luck.'

I was standing up to go and then suddenly he blocked me, looking into my eyes and

said ,' its you. Its you who make my heart flatter .'

For 5 seconds I was shocked and I couldn't believe it because he was the guy who

never gives me a expression of even affection. I said,' not a problem. Ok

bye!'.

I was so nervous and at the same point i was feeling bad for me as i was going to loose

another good friend. Bill suddenly turned and went outside. No one wants to

have a feeling of being rejected by the person you love right?!

Sam (bill's friend) said,' I think you should consider his feelings. He liked you a

lot. You can't even imagine what the hell he must be feeling right now. You can

at least give a try to this relationship'.

After listening to him my brain went all blank. I was feeling numb. I didn't want to

loose a friend like him and I didn't know what comes to my mind that in the

middle of night i texted him a ' YES turtle ' to his proposal.

***turtle is the nickname given by me to bill because he was very slow in everything

specially in mathematics and also in realizing his feelings towards me so

late.***

Let's talk about regrets.

It was the day after when i saw him i was freaking nervous I never felt this way before, after seeing a boy. I couldn't say a word he was just looking at me and talking to his friends. He left after he got a call from someone.

 As a teenager I always do things without thinking twice. I was very well aware about the fact that my family will never accepts this kind of thing because of their outdated thoughts which comes from a very unhealthy background although I never intended to tell them at first place. I used live in a big joint family with grandparents and a lot of cousins.

 Days were passing, my relationship with bill was going fine as we usually just chat online because of my exams were going on. We usually chat till mid night and fall asleep while talking.

 I don't know if I like bill or love him or just think him to be a way of time pass or i am just attracted to him...but i like talking to him.

 One day when I was talking to him and smiling looking at my phone screen. my father noticed and took the phone from my hand and started reading the chats. I was shocked i was thinking now what?!

I mother saw it happening and sat next to him and started reading the chats too.

They were angry my mother looked at me and slapped me thrice on my face. I was shocked I couldn't breathe and i wasn't crying I didn't understand what was happening.

"This is what you are giving us in return for raising you. This is what we taught you to hang out with random boys."

 I couldn't say a single word. My father said, " go back to your room and sleep Go."

 He was disappointed.

 My mother woke me up at 4 a.m. In the morning.

"Look like you are sleeping very soundly". I could feel the sarcasm in her voice.

 "Your father didn't sleep the whole night and was reading your chats with all the boys you have talked to."

I was doomed. I know. There were many boys. Yeah, I was a teenager who enjoys fooling around, i think.

 I went to his room. He looked at me.

" I wasn't expecting this from you. Do you want me tell everyone in this family about what you have done."

He was coming to me suddenly I was choked. I don't know what but i couldn't breathe. His hands were around my throat he was using his all power to choke me to death. I was shredded in tears I was standing on my toes i couldn't believe it was happening. then suddenly my mother came inside. She was holding a tool a iron tool its like a mini rode kind of.

She said," you should just die rather than insulting us like that".

And she started hitting that iron thing in my knees. I lost my balance and fall down.

I was freighted i was running in the room saying I am sorry I wouldn't do this again.

 Behind me there was a wall and on left side the bed. My father pulled me on the bed and started choking me again with his hands and my mother she started hitting me in the knees with her full power...i was feeling dizzy and couldn't help but see them treating me as an animal.

 Seeing her my father stopped and ask her to stop too. I went to my room. I was freighted all i could think about to escape from there as soon as possible. I wanted to die. That 15 min torture they gave me were nothing to them. I couldn't even imagine living with them after what they did to me. And when i don't even know if this was the last time, they are doing this with me, or it was just started.

 My mother came into my room and said there no need for you to go to the school from now on and just help in the household work. It was the day when my 9th grade result was coming out.

 I was feeling numb.