Dear diary:

I was scrolling on my feed and saw a funny post which say's "I'm a lesbian sorry" but I'm not actually a lesbian, i shared it cause I feel it funny. Then someone commented and its my cousin, the guy that I long been waiting.. Yes, I like him, I know its wrong to like my own cousin but I can't help it. He's so sweet, caring and loveable. We're conversing day to night since I was in my 9th grade to 10th grade. That time I'm slowly falling for him.

Then I realized it, I started avoiding him cause this feelings is wrong (for me) we're cousin and we're not meant to be. Hence, i avoided him and even block him. But, I miss him so much.

Until my 12th grade came, May 29 2022. He commented on my post saying "Ah ok" I laugh at it and finally decided to chat him.

Till then, we're now talking again! Damnnn! I'm so happy every minute and every hour, his so sweet like before but now, he's even sweeter! but then, I'm falling again😭 I want to avoid him again but how? whenever he's chatting me, I can't stop my self to reply on him!

What should I do diary? shall I tell him that I've been inlove with him for too long? I hate this feeling! what should I do? He didn't know that I like him. I hate the feeling that he's saying he likes me but in the end there was a joke in it.

Thank you diary: