“Why me?… I did everything to make you happy, I gave you everything, to the point where there’s literally nothing left of me, I can’t even recognize myself anymore. And yet you still threw all that away as if it was nothing. Was I not enough?” She asked as tears started flowing down her face.

“No, listen I-“ he tried to explain.

“I’m sick and tired of all of your excuses, please just this once, be honest with me. Did you ever love me?” She sobbed louder as she clenched her fist against her throbbing chest.

“I did. I do.” He said as he stepped closer to her, attempting to calm her down.

“If that were true then none of this would happen. I handed you my all, and I thought you were doing the same for me, little did I know that you were giving your all to someone else.”

“I’m sorry” he could only look at the ground as it was paining him too, to see the girl he promised to spend the rest of his life with walking away.

She paused for a moment to look back at him. “Thank you…” she murmurs “for making me the happiest person, but now I think that it’s about time that I let you go” with that she finally walks away, leaving the man she once loved behind.

.

.

.

“Good morning mine” she greeted her new lover with a smile.

He smiled back at her and hugged her, still thanking destiny for bringing them together.

“What are you thinking about so deeply?” She wonders as her lover took his time to give her an answer.

“Obviously you” he smiled and pinched her nose.

She scoffed but nevertheless giggled at the cheesy reply “you’re so cringey sometimes”.

“But you love it”.

“You know me so well”.

...----------------...

Few years have passed since Ara’s last heartbreak, but still, she couldn’t stop thinking about her best friend and at the same time ex-lover. Sometimes she just wishes that they remained friends, in that way, she could still be by his side. But she also thanks him for the memory that she can go back to and reminisce.

Sure she got hurt, but she believes that, that is just part of life. She believes that if she and Noah are really destined together, then they would find their way back to one another. If not, then she will wait for that right person, because love should never be deemed for, it’ll eventually find its way to you.

She risked it all for him, and she’s not willing to commit the same mistake twice. The pain she bore alone was enough to break her, but at the same time, heal her and make her stronger.

After breaking up with Noah, she expected that he’ll be a bit sad. She hoped to see him sad, not because she wanted him to suffer, no, but she wanted to at least be assured that the time they spent together was worth while.

Alas, to her disappointment, rather sadness. He immediately got together with the girl he claimed to be 'just friends’ with.

Of course it’s nothing new, but she wonders how it feels like to be genuinely loved by someone.

She feels as though she doesn’t deserve it.

When will she realize that there are people, other than Noah, that can love her… genuinely, sincerely.

Only when she opens her eyes and look around can she see that there are much more to the world than just Noah.

But hey, healing takes time. If she needs forever, then he is willing to wait forever.

Seeing her happy is enough to make his day. Hearing her laugh is enough to melt and shake his world. Only if she knew how much he loves her.

If clichés were to happen in real life. Then he hopes that Ara will finally see her worth. It didn’t matter to him if she can love him back, he wishes her to be happy, finally be happy and satisfied with the life she has.

Ara sat at her desk, not paying any attention to the lecture. Her mind wonders to what Noah will tell her later, as they had both agreed to eat together today. She impatiently waits for the bell to ring as she taps her fingers on the table.

As she hear the bell ring, an indication that the class is over, she hurriedly packed her bag and headed straight to Noah’s’ class, which is conveniently just 5 minutes away from hers. When Ara spotted Noah, she waved at him with a smile- a smile so warm that it can melt even the sun. Anyway, Noah jogged to Ara and hugged his bestfriend (since preschool) for a brief moment, not being aware of the others current feelings.

They shortly arrived at the restaurant they frequented. Noah displayed an excited smile, which Ara never failed to catch. As they placed their order, Noah suddenly took his phone out and tapped something, afterwards, he held it up Ara’s face. Ara then confusingly looked at him for a moment before grabbing the phone. She didn’t understand at first, but as she scans and read the messages, her heart immediately scattered into the tiniest of pieces.

If she were to be honest to herself, she should’ve known that Noah will eventually confess his hidden feelings for her (ex)friend, Jazie. For the longest time, Noah had been dropping subtle hints that he liked someone, and for the longest time, Ara was in delusion that it was her that he liked, but at the end of the day, Noah told her that he liked Jazie. Of course this left a scar on her heart, but nevertheless, she wanted to support Noah in his decisions.

...----------------...

She suddenly remembered the time when Noah found Jazie kissing a man he didn’t know, and that made him cry for days without end. But guess who was there to comfort him? Ara. She’s been with Noah through all his thick and thins, but Noah on the other hand, hadn’t been there(not even once). Yes, physically he was present, but emotionally, that is another story.

......................

Now back at the restaurant. Ara stared at Noah who was anticipating to hear her reply. She couldn’t do anything else but smile painfully. “Congratulations… by the way, I thought you were trying to move on from Jazie, but now I see that you- uhh, confessed to her.”

“It’s just that, the other day, Jazie explained that the man she kissed was just some random hookup she had, and she also confessed that she liked me, so I thought that this will be a great opportunity to tell her that I felt the same way.”

‘What about me though?’ she thought, too afraid to voice out her real emotions. “But aren’t you worried?” she looked at him with concerned eyes. “Jazie is known to be one who plays with people’s feelings” she paused to take a sip of her drink and continued “don’t get me wrong, I’m happy- for you, really, but I just don’t want you to be hurt, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean, but you don’t have to worry at all” he assured her, well, more to himself.

Ara just couldn’t help but nod, she chose to stay silent and just ate her food, trying to get rid of all of her negative thoughts. When it was finally time to head back to the campus, they ‘coincidentally’ met Jazie on their way back. She immediately plunged herself onto Noah’s embrace. Again, Ara had a smile plastered on her face, but if you looked closely at/to her eyes, you cannot see any happiness, rather, it is just a body of a woman who seemed like she had lost everything, and it’s all because of love…

Ara let Jazie and Noah walk in front of her, she kept her head down, too afraid to witness the scenes that were unfolding in front of her, but then she feltsomeones gaze on her, so she looks up a bit, only to meet Jazie’s piercing glares, to her surprise, she saw Jazie smirking at her- and that made her confused… and when she was about to ask the latter, she found her now staring lovelily towards her bestfriend.

‘What the f*** was that? Am I just hallucinating?’