Chapter 1 (Cloud Hudges)

Cloud Hudges

It is raining so hard today. I knew so because I could

hear the loud rushing of leaves and branches just beside our balcony. I never

hated rain; it calms me as a matter of fact.

I slowly opened my eyes as I closely feel the coldness

of the bed beside me, empty. Ha, he didn’t come home last night either how many

nights has it been? 5 nights? A week? Hmm I think I’ve lost count; I miss him

so much when will he come home to me? Even if I feel ashamed hugging him… I

would like to try once he’s back. It’s been a while since my heart felt at ease

while hugging him. Damian, I miss you so much my love I have something to tell you

please come back home tonight darling.

A tear slowly escapes my eyes, but I wipe it almost

too quickly. This is no time to be crying I have to be strong for us. I forced

a smile and slowly sat on the bed, looking around this room remind me of so

many memories from the very moment we brought this apartment. This has been my

routine every day, at least by doing this my heart is somewhat filled with joy,

and hope that everything will soon be better. He just needs time to think, I

will be patient, after all I could do anything for him, a little bit more time

away from me shouldn’t hurt, right?

Now it is time for me to do my routine and clean the

house. Damian hates it when the house is messy so I always clean it, everyday

actually, in case he decides to go home for a while and see me. And maybe to

reconcile and talk things out. I smiled at the thought of him coming back and

hugging me to his dear life, this is how we usually fix things haha… before. He

would always get out of the house, come back in the evening, hug me, and kiss

me while crying. He would go around and about saying he was sorry and will act

like a child haha. Then we would kiss and make up, and he would always show me

how much he loves me as he gently cares my lips and body. I tried waking myself

up from my own day dream, it’s not like he would ever dare to touch me again… I

proved that just the other night we were in the same bed. He was disgusted. Who

would want a dirty woman right? It’s fine, it’s gonna be fine. As long as he

would finally give me the chance to explain things it’s gonna be alright… I’ve

been practicing all day you see.

I get all this hopes from the mere fact that Damian

still goes home from time to time, he neglects me but he never abandoned me.

His clothes, his things, his faint smell all around the house, it’s our home.

Without him I would’ve already died long ago from starvation, or homeless

because I couldn’t pay the rent. This is what I could give him as a repayment.

Although even without all of that I will still stay, in his arms and warmth. As

I was fixing the bed my eyes landed on the balcony, in rainy days like this he

would make us coffee and we would cuddle each other while reading books and

laughing to our hearts content, God, everything reminds me of him, I miss him so

much. I walk my way to the big glass door, opened it as the rain drops touched

my face and night robe, I looked at the bottom hoping to see his car driving

were he usually park but still, there is no trace of him. We lived on the fifth

floor of our building I would’ve seen him for a fair distance but no. He’s not

coming home today.

I slowly closed the door

*sigh

If I was a better woman like I was before, would you

run coming back to me? Probably, if only I wasn’t….

Forcing a smile on my lips I left the room and started

cleaning every corner of our living area. No, I never really cared eating

breakfast in the morning. That would be such a waste of the supplies Damian

brought for us every week. Sometimes he would personally bring it home and we

would eat together silently without speaking a word then he would stay with me

for 3 days. If his work schedule is tight, I assume, he will just leave without

saying a word. Sometimes when he can’t really come, he would ask his secretary

to deliver it here. You see he didn’t really forget that he has a live in

partner waiting for him, he’s just busy and usually stay in his office. One of

this day I will be his wife waiting for him, I’m sure he still loves me he’s

just mad and disappointed, he loves me it’s just not out of pity there’s just

no way, we love each other for 12 years now.

I always make sure that I have all the ingredients and

I could cook him the best dinner and lunch when he’s home. I looked in the

mirror and frown, I’m so unattractive aren’t I. I stepped closer and my

imperfections became even more vivid. Dark eye circles, stress skin, am I too

fat? I should definitely go on a diet what if he leaves me for real because of

this? What if he comes home today and see my pathetic situation? I finished my

cleaning duties as fast as I could and enter our shared room.

Taking a warm bath after doing chores is always such a

relaxing thing to do, didn’t want to smell bad when he arrives. After that I

rummage through the vanity desks that he gave to me as a gift 3 years ago to

search for make-up that I could use, I never used this ever since that day but

seeing myself in the mirror… I could now see the reason why he’s so distant. As

a matter of fact, everything that I own as of now was a gift from him that had

stopped 2 years ago but its fine my shirts seem even loose to me for some

reason so I didn’t really need new ones. Back when I was still working, I would

also buy lots of gifts for him and save for the future but never for myself, I

don’t buy something for me unless it is very necessary. I wanted to work as

well but when I tried to tell this to Damian, he got so angry and almost slap

me, but he could never really do that, he left that day and I didn’t see him

for a month after that so there is no way I am telling that to him ever again.

Alas! My make up is finally done. I didn’t do much

though since I will only be staying in the house today… as always. I wore my

favorite shirt and shorts and went to the living area to read books. I have a

phone but I rarely use it since I don’t really like social media ever since oh!

I still remember how my friends would force me to wear this and that haha they

are the ones who teach me how to dress up. I miss them to but I don’t think

they remembers me though, nobody ever reached out to me for a while. Maybe they

are too busy with their personal lives now just like I am.

As I was about to sit, I felt my stomach turning

upside-down so I ran straight into the bathroom and puke a lot, I didn’t even

eat anything. I know what is causing this… I really need to see a doctor soon,

I should tell Damian ones he arrives, would he be thrilled? I went back to the

shelves and I am trying to decide what book should I read when something caught

my attention. I don’t want to look at this everyday like a creep but I really

just can’t help it. The memories, the joys, him. I pulled out the

album from the shelves, opened it and there I saw yet again our first photo

together. In a high school tour at a monumental park in another city. We don’t

look one bit happy about in this photo haha, Damian was a genius asshole for me

back then, he always looks so grumpy and he would shoot cold gazes as me and I

always gladly give him back his stare. We used to be like that until one day he

asked me out.

I was about to look at the next photo when I heard the

door unlocked. I stand up as fast as I could from my sit and ran towards the

door. It’s him, he’s home.

“D-Damian, welcome home”I was looking down, I could never look him in the eyes again but I knew it was

him just from his scent. He stood there wearing his office suit with two bags

full of grocery and frozen meat.“Hm, yes take this” He spoke in his cold dark voice,

almost like he made sure my heart felt it. I take the plastics he was holding

and put it in the kitchen table. From there on I started to sort the goods

while he casually sits on the sofa and open the TV. Not giving me a single

glance at all.

“W-What would you l-like for meal?” I was hoping he

would turn his eyes on me and smile. I miss his smile and his loving eyes.

Please Damian, look at me, I love you, it’s been so long since you last said

you love me too.

“Do whatever you want to do, you know what I like and

don’t like, Cloud” He did! He turns to look at me but as soon as he did my head

unconsciously bows, because I know, he would never look at me in a loving way

ever again, I know the way he looks at me now and I don’t want to see it. I

don’t want to lose hope. “I’m really not in the mood for a conversation today,

I’m stressed out just let me be for a while or else I would find some place to

actually be able to relax” He didn’t even stutter while saying that. He doesn’t

want to talk to me. But before I was your rest, before you were most at peace

when I am around.

“yes” it sounded like a whisper even to me, so I’m

sure he didn’t hear it either but he didn’t really care and just continued to

watch TV again.

I want him to hold me, to hug me, I would bet he

doesn’t want to do it though. I was too preoccupied by my thoughts that I

accidentally cut my fingers deep with a knife. I must’ve hissed loudly from the

pain because I now saw his body right in front of me. “Ugh, I really just

wanted to go now! How could you be so clumsy! Are you that thirsty for

attention huh?!” I flinched from him shouting, my body started to tremble

uncontrollably, the shouting before it all happen, I always hear it. “What are

you going to do with that? Just letting your blood be a mess all around this

kitchen counter?” He pulled my hand harshly and put my hand on the sink, he

opened the faucet to put my wound in the running water. “Stay right there”

Damian walked away and went to our room to look for

something. He came back with a medical kit with his hands. This is too

embarrassing; I really look like I want his attention now. He closed the faucet

and is now working to cover and put medicine on the wound. I don’t really know

what he was doing, I am looking down on my feet the whole time counting my

fingers. “There, you happy now?” I whispered a thank you and he sighed.

In the end, Damian represents to cook for the both of

us since he was suddenly saying that he was in the mood for cooking. Damian is

a good cook actually, way better than I am. He commanded me to read a book or

something so that I wouldn’t be a bother to him. I don’t want to bother him

anymore either so I sat silently in the corner. After a while, I heard him

calling out to me so that we could both share a meal. I know he’s still mad at

me that it feels bad to be happy because he still cares. It was a very silent

meal with only the sound of spoon and fork clattering in plates we are eating

on, I am very careful to not offend him anymore. I was looking straight to my

plate when out of nowhere he started a conversation.

“Do you need anything? Ask me now before I change my

mind” I was shocked that I dropped my spoon on the floor. T-This is my chance,

right? A conversation, this is what we need. I just need to be very careful

with my words but because I am very nervous right now the only thing, I

muttered out of my breath are “U-Um A-Actual-ly A-A U-Um” he sighed and

immediately said “Okay just shut up for now, speak when you are ready” and that

was followed by a long silence. I didn’t even dare to pick up the spoon that I

just drop as I was focusing on gathering courage and choosing my words, I

wasn’t ready for this.

“I need to go to the hospital, I think there is

something wrong with me” I finally said it, but the butterflies in my stomach

didn’t go away. “And what exactly is wrong with you?” he said sternly, I

gulped. “C-could you come with me?” I responded, obviously avoiding his

question. Please, please come with me you need to know. “I don’t think it was

necessary for you to go to a hospital if it isn’t severe then, just wait for

the private doctor to come here.” He paused for a while before continuing. “As

for your second request tho, I am too busy for that” I expected that kind of

response already so I was ready for it, luckily, he didn’t get angry with me

now.

“I’m going out for a while you could come with me if

you want to.” I got really happy hearing that, going outside! I want to go

outside with him again. Is he asking me for a date? It would be a date, right?

Since we are a couple? “Wear a hat when we go out, I’ll wait for you here

please hurry” I nodded, put our dishes in the sink and run to my room, my heart

is beating so fast right now. A date, maybe he is now ready to listen to me,

I’m thrilled, I will try my best not to cry when he asks me about it. We will

finally go back together, or maybe he would propose to me again? Please let it

be like that.

I walked out of my room wearing a simple jean that is

supposed to be skinny but is loose to me, I don’t have a belt so I used a shoe

lace instead to make it tighter hehe, And I am wearing the black shirt he gave

me before, and I didn’t forget the cap he made me wear. It is still rainy

outside so maybe for protection?

“Come on now” I followed him downstairs to where his

car is parked and he drove to a place I almost forgot, it’s a mall, he’s going

to walk me around, I think. My man is still wearing his suit and that’s the

reason he looks so fine and all the girls we come across looks at him. I am

proud that we are walking together but I am just mostly walking behind him, and

I am embarrassed to look like a garbage beside him.

First, we went to a watch shop. He brought one piece

for him, after a while it looks like he was distancing himself from me while

looking at something. He told me that I should wait outside for him and obeyed.

What’s taking him so long? As I saw him walk out the store, I can’t help but to

notice that he is holding two boxes now and handed the 2 to me. “Hold this for

a while for me” I didn’t ask a question. We went to different more stores and

he bought a lot. I can’t help to wonder if this are for me. I-I am not assuming

alright, but maybe he decided to bought this thing to reconcile and talk

afterwards? Afterall he is that kind of man. Maybe it is too many because it

has been 2 years since we had a proper conversation.

When he’s done, we stopped for a while, I am so tired

right now. I am holding all this paper bags with different brand name and it is

becoming heavier. “We should stop by to eat” he claimed, I was joyed hearing

those words and shot my head up to finally look up to him, I-I am kinda hungry

now that he mentioned it. But looking at him was a mistake, he looked at me

directly in the eye first before scanning me from head to toe. Shivers run down

my spine as I slowly bow my head again. His gaze, is cold.

“On the other hand, I don’t want to go to a fancy

restaurant with you looking like that”. I agree to what he said, no man would

want to be caught eating with a woman like me. “Let’s just stay on the bench

for a while” I nod my head as a yes.

We sat on the bench, and soon after. A lady, a fine

one at that walks to us and shouted “Kai! Kai!, Love you’re here” I looked at

Damian slightly as I saw him gulp and turned pale. Kai? That’s his second name,

he doesn’t want me calling him that and love? What does it mean? “She’s a

comrade” He suddenly explained even if I am not asking, nervousness hint in his

voice.

He got up from our sit take all of the paper bags

beside me beside his watch and walked over to the girl. I am still confused,

who is she?? She is widely smiling at Damian as he gives him all of the paper

bags, I thought was mine. If Damian knows I was thinking that way he would

definitely get angry. And there I saw Damian, smiling, to the girl I never met

before nor I knew the name.

When suddenly my vision got blurry, as I was slowly

drifting to darkness, my eyelids getting heavy. I called for his name as loud

as I could, he looked at me before everything went black for me.

Chapter 2

Damian Kai Clinton

It is raining so hard today. I lit up my cigarette as

I look outside the window of the motel I am staying right now. She would be

fine; she loves the rain as far as I know. I breath a heavy sigh as I continued

smoking. It’s like the sky looks on us with sympathy, after all these years I

still can’t believe she did it, she cheated on me. And now I just don’t know if

I love her the same way anymore, but there is something in me that just can’t

let go. Ever since that day I have remorse in her, she had my heart but she

broke it. She had my trust. But after all of it, she stayed in my house and

feed from my money, a gold-digging slut. Cloud, you were never like this

before. I was devastated.

This room feels so empty, I spend my days not going

home. Sometimes I would stay on my office, but sometimes I would go out of my

way to clubs to look for a fucking one-night stand, I have needs too. But I

could never do that again with Cloud haha, how could I? After what she did.

Almost all of my employees know that Cloud and I have broken up. I wouldn’t

clear her name though. I didn’t kick her out too because she was too convenient

for me right now. She would keep the house clean everyday like a maid without

getting paid, food is enough. Before, I would have never treated her like this.

She was my home, my queen and my life. I look like a fool all the time I would

go out of my way to assist her in everything. For me she was a fragile glass,

on our high school years Cloud was the only girl who punched me right in my

face in front of my class. Damn was she strong. After her parents died, she

became too dependable to me. She became different and would cry on my shoulder

almost every single day, so I did my best to care for her more.

That’s just about how fast Cloud could change. That’s

why when she did that, I was surprise, I wasn’t expecting it. But given her

behavior pattern it was somehow reasonable. I find many ways to love her after

that incident but I just couldn’t, I’m just too broken; I need fixing too! I

never allowed her to get out of the house anymore when she’s not with me but

who knows? Maybe, since I am not around too often, she would sneak out and do

shits just like what I do, makes me question what is the point of this

relationship after all. To hurt each other? That’s too sadistic.

If she decided to stop her façade and leave, I would

not dare stop her because that’s what I want as well, I would just look bad if

I leave her first. Call that bullshit but I don’t care, I have the money so

it’s not my lost.

After a while my cigarette session was finally over. I

extinguished the fire by pressing it in the ash tray. The room smelled so nice

because of the woman that I left ***** on the bed. Not as good smelling as her

though, Cloud smell so good but her insides were rotten. Such a waste of a

woman but I didn’t mind, growing up and working my way in winning life as of

now, I learned that the world is too big to waste my time on a woman who

doesn’t deserve it. I had my time of happiness with her but it is all over now.

That’s the bitter truth after I saw her true colors. I wouldn’t say this right

in front of her face though, I knew what she would do then, she would try her

hardest to look pitiful to me tsk.

This woman is really a heavy sleeper huh? It’s already

9 in the morning and she’s still laying on the bed, I didn’t even go that hard

last night. I was annoyed but it would be too rude to wake her up and just

shout of nowhere I’m not that low. So, I just left money on the table, grab my

things and left. This is not the first time it happened, I’ve lost count of how

many women I’ve met and sleep with, not that it matters really.

I drove my car and left the hotel building; I don’t

really have a schedule for today. My secretary, Mr. Miller was working with me

for 5 years now, he naturally became a friend to me and Cloud so he knew our

story midway and how we fall apart and trust me he is so against it. If not for

him I wouldn’t even dare to go home and see that woman. Every now and then he

looks for ways to make a day off for me so that I would be force to go home

since I really have nothing else to do. And today unfortunately is one of those

days.  I looked at my calendar, Sunday,

it means that it has been a week since I last bought supplies and stocks for me

and Cloud. It just became a habit even if I didn’t really spend my weeks there.

That should be enough supplies to last for a week and not starve, but as I

remember every time I go home, Cloud seems to look skinnier. Is she on drugs?

Is she really making a trash out of her life now? She looks so lifeless and

unattractive.

I stop by the market and buy the goods; I don’t really

care but I bought even more that I did before. Not that I care, of course not

but I also take boxes of milk and fruits for energy so she could start a

healthy diet. She wouldn’t have the energy to leave me one day if she always

looks like that right?

I receive a lot of flirt gazes as I walk around the

store, girls will always be girls, eh? How many of them still have decency in

their head tsk. I was showing my card on the cashier lady but she was just

looking at me blushing, what the **** is wrong with her she’s supposed to be

doing her job right now. Not flirting the **** if she sees a handsome customer.

She was blushing like crazy but I got impatient so I put the card in front of

her face right where she could see it. She looked embarrassed, immediately grab

my card and continue doing her job finally. Ha! I bet this girl have a man so I

was so bold to ask. “You have a man, don’t you?” She was shocked by me suddenly

saying a word and nodded her head yes. See haha that’s what I am saying, even

if they have a man already, they wouldn’t even be ashamed to flirt and seduce

another. The transaction was finished with the both of us not saying any word

but he would glance every now and then to me and give soft smiles, tsk,

disgusting.

The rain is still heavy *sigh when will this even

stop? My car is so dirty already. When this nuisance of a rain stops, I will

directly go for a car wash, hopefully it wouldn’t be too dirty that it is

embarrassing by then.

I drive again but this time, home. There are these

annoying butterflies in my stomach that I usually get whenever I come here and

it annoy the shit out of me. Excitement?! My head doesn’t feel that at all but

my body and heart seem to be saying otherwise, my brain still wins though.

Cause there is no reason to be happy at home to see a liar living from my

wealth. As soon as I opened the door using the pass code, I heard a pair of

feet running towards me. It’s her, it’s Cloud. My heart started to beat

unreasonably fast once again as I saw her figure, not looking at me but on the

floor as he whispered just enough for me to hear.

“D-Damian, welcome home” Tsk am I supposed to feel

this happy now!? **** these feelings, this is the sole reason why she could

still hurt me now. Every time I go home, she would put this act like as if she

is so distant from me and would never look me in the eye. I’ve read those

before on social media, it was an act of manipulation, she was trying to make

me sympathize her and she will act even more belittled even if I am not really

doing anything wrong. Though it affects me in a way, I will not, no, I will

never fall for it, she did that to me before and I fall for it, never again am

I gonna fall for such trick and let her win again. I’m not the old Damian she

used to gaslight and control, not this time Cloud.

“Hm, yes take this”. She obeyed me like a dog with

tail between its legs. Those goods are heavy, even I had a hard time getting

those up to the 5’th floor of the building. Back in the days she wouldn’t even

lift a finger with those because I will do everything for her, and she will

protest. Looking at her figure I noticed that she looks like a skeleton now

more than ever, what the **** is happening with her really? Tsk I shouldn’t

care, maybe this is one of her acts. She steadily but slowly organizes the

stocks that she would be eating for a week. I hate what I’m feeling right and I

am trying my hardest to fight it. She just looks… so… weak, like she would

collapse any moment from now. I want to hug her but no. That just means that

I’ve loss.

“W-What would you l-like for meal?” her voice sound so

shaky, I’m losing it right now. If she says another word with a voice like

that, I would run to her and hug her. So instead, I said, “Do whatever you want

to do, you know what I like and don’t like, Cloud” I looked at her, luckily,

she looked away because if she didn’t, she would’ve seen my worried reaction

plastered all over my face, that would just give her hope. I don’t want her

hoping that this could be fix. “I’m really not in the mood for a conversation

today, I’m stressed out just let me be for a while or else I would find some

place to actually be able to relax”, I reason out just so that she would stop

talking to me, any more than that and I would give up.

She didn’t answer, silence means yes, I guess? I

continued watching the television I’m not really focus though because there is

a lingering memory in my head that is just too joyful for me to focus on the

show right now. During rainy days Cloud and I would cuddle in the blankets here

in the sofa with lights off while watching a movie, then it would end up to…

anyways I don’t really like that part, yes, I don’t.  I snap out of my thoughts when something just

doesn’t feel right all of a sudden, I felt a shiver run down thru my spine so I

decided to stand up and pretend to get water from the fridge but then I saw

Cloud with lots of blood in her hands trying to wipe it with her damn apron.

My feet moved on its own, I only realize that I am

standing right in front of her. Without a break, the words just slip in my

mouth “Ugh, I really just wanted to go now! How could you be so clumsy! Are you

that thirsty for attention huh?!” Maybe she really just wanted attention from

me, that’s reasonable but to go to such lengths as to cutting herself! That’s

too much and she fucking won now. How could I just let her be like this when

the cut is too deep?! Damn you Cloud playing with my feelings like this. “What

are you going to do with that? Just letting your blood be a mess all around

this kitchen counter?” If she doesn’t want to move her heavy feet off where she

is standing then I’ll just have to drag her here in the kitchen sink and put

her bloody hand in the fucking water. I rush to our shared room where I haven’t

gone for a while and rummage through the cabinets where I remembered I put our

first aid kit. After getting the kit I ran back to her and silently treat her

wound. I even have to put pressure in it for a while just to stop the bleeding,

how can this be fucking accidental? A cut this deep could only be there if she

intentionally cut it, so she is also an idiot now huh? Screw this.

“There, you happy now?” I heard her mutter a thank

you, almost inaudible to hear, I only sigh in response and again pull her to

the sofa to just fucking sit tight, so that she wouldn’t do anything stupid

anymore. I’m so tired of it by now. “I will cook, you stay there” I was about

to return to the kitchen when she grabbed my hand, I immediately get back my

hand of course, she was also taken aback by what she did but still managed to

say “You—You don’t have to d-do that I-I can still cook f-for you” This girl!

She really is trying her best to get to my nerves huh?! “I didn’t say I want to

do it for you, I’m really just in the mood to cook, don’t assume anything will

you?” She didn’t answer anymore so I continued my way back to the kitchen and

finally start to cook.

I opened the cabinets to look for ingredients and

there I saw. So many stocks! Where did she get all of this? Ho come she have

all this stock but still stay so skinny? Is this the reason why it looks like

we are always having a fucking celebration whenever I arrive here? Does she

work behind my back? To save money before leaving me? There is no wa--- ha I

mean,… I hope she save money real soon so that she could finally leave me

alone. Yes, that’s what I really feel. I finished my cooking fast since I am

hungry already, I haven’t eaten yet. Lucky for this lady she has all the luxury

here in my space, what could she ask for more? A mansion?

I called her so that we could sit on the table and eat

together, not like the old times but I’m really just not use to eating alone.

When I’m at the office Mr. Miller and I would eat together. Sometimes, Lindsey

will come over too, she is so talkative though and I didn’t even care what she

was saying. Cloud on the other hand, I hate to admit it but I like watching her

ever since, how she would just devour in food without saying a word with a face

of contentment, we then would talk about our day after we eat. Everything is

different now though, I look at her and saw her bowing her head, her face

almost touching the plate. What kind of eating position is that? Unlike before,

she doesn’t seem to like her food now. She is so skinny, I can’t help but to look

at the shirt she was wearing, it’s old, I think I brought that for her 2 years

ago, it’s so loose on her. Her shorts also look loose to her and her leg have a

huge thigh gap. I sighed and spoke

“Do you need anything? Ask me now before I change my mind”

she seemed so shock because of that, exaggerated even. Yeah, drop your spoon

tsk. I am expecting her to say new things and such, I have plans on buying her

now though even if she acts so humble and refuse my offer. “U-Um A-Actual-ly

A-A U-Um” yeah just act like, you are having second thoughts I know you want

new stuff brought using my pocket too. “Okay just shut up for now, speak when

you are ready” we both chose to be silent after that. But what she told me

after her silence made my eyebrows furrow. “I need to go to the hospital; I

think there is something wrong with me” Hospital? She does look so skinny and

lifeless if she is really sick then we should go for a checkup I don’t want to

prepare a funeral now. “And what exactly is wrong with you?” if she thinks

there is a problem with her, it is only common sense that she knows or had

already search about it right? The whole building and units have internet

connection. She avoided my question but instead told me “C-could you come with

me?” and there I saw what she is trying to do now haha. ****. My worries are

all for nothing then. Cloud you are such a genius but you’re not gonna outsmart

me now. It really is such a bright idea to pretend to be ill, you are just

waiting for the right time to say it. You want me personally to come with you?

I didn’t even now you were at the hospital back then because of appendicitis.

Maybe she already told and pay the doctor to give a fake result saying she have

a tumor or something. I see right through your plans Cloud.

“I don’t think it was necessary for you to go to a

hospital if it isn’t severe then, just wait for the private doctor to come

here.” That was the best response I could give her; I am observing her but she

didn’t give me that much of a reaction tsk. “As for your second request tho, I

am too busy for that” I’m still observing her reaction but she didn’t react

badly at all. She just nodded her head and continued to eat. Wait what was

that? Is she really sick? No, she’s just making me confuse that’s all. Guilt was

rushing down on me, the same guilt that I felt when I almost slap her back

then. To stop this feeling, I decided to continue with my plan to buy her new

things. That way I would feel less guilty. And if she really is sick then the

dresses would be the settlement.

“I’m going out for a while you could come with me if

you want to.”

Chapter 3

Lindsey Davis

Damian Kai Clinton POV.

“I’m going out for a while; you could come with me if

you want to.”

She slightly looks at me but I could clearly see the

visible happiness in her eyes. Yeah slut, I am giving you the fucking chance to

have new, nice clothes that would be pay using my card. This would be the last,

I just hope that after this she would finally leave me. She’s becoming too

thick-skinned at this point.

After I finished my meal, I grab my own dishes and put

it on the sink. I took a glance at her and saw that she also did the same.

Didn’t even finish her food or ate half of it. As soon as I do something she

would just follow, or is it that she is just too eager to have new pair of

clothes now. I went down first and didn’t even wait for her, maybe she would

dress up so fabulously now thinking that this is a date but no. We would just

go to the mall, buy stuff then go home. I waited outside of my car where I

parked it, under the shade of the waiting area outside our apartment, it is

still raining heavily as of now.

It didn’t take long for Cloud to finally get her ***

down here. Unlike my expectations, she didn’t dress up at all. We are going to

a mall for fucks sake and she looks like she would have a quick stop by in a

convenience store, her converse even has a small dent on it. I was able to have

a glimpse of her face and damn was it funny. It was a fucking failed attempt to

look presentable, so fucking unattractive. Whatever drugs she was on I wouldn’t

want any of it. Her shirt is loose, her jeans doesn’t compliment that skinny

body of hers and where is her fucking butt? Where did it go? Before I have

second thoughts of going to the mall still, I instructed her to hop in the car.

I might regret actually showing kindness to her later, but we are already here

so might as well finish it. All though, I would also want to see her

disappointed face if ever this trip would be cut off short. I brush off the

thought before I might actually do it and hop in as well.

A very silent trip is happening right now. Cloud is

looking outside the window, obviously admiring the rain not saying any word,

even her breathes are almost inaudible for me. There is no traffic since not so

many people would want to travel in this kind of weather. Meanwhile, this lady

beside me loves to go out on this kind of days ever since we aren’t even

together.

Flashback*

It is so cold.

I rummage through my linens looking for a blanket so I

could watch shows comfortably. Afterwards, I slid on my sheets, scrolling on my

phone not knowing what to do at all. I’m at my Instagram now and at the very

top of my news feed is a picture posted by Cloud, a classmate of mine. It was a

picture of her bare feet on the street with clear droplets and puddles of rain

around her. I swipe to the left and saw a her, on a white lace dress eyes close

looking like a happy free girl, wet under the rain. She’s beautiful, ethereal

even, why the **** does she look so mild in her Instagram when she fucking

punched me just the other day. It was posted just a few minutes ago so I dm

her.

“Gotta wish you catch a cold. Tf did you look carefree

and fragile you gorilla”

She seen it and replied almost immediately, I smiled.

“You find me beautiful in those photos did you not?

Praise me a little dickface”

“And I would thank the goddess of rain if I catch a

fucking cold, I would have a reason not to see your face at school”

I laughed at her response; she is so fucking

entertaining I would love to tease her forever.

“In your dreams”

She didn’t respond to me after that so I just looked

for a movie or something, still smiling. I can’t wait for Monday to come.

End of Flashback*

I shook my head as memories of our past flash through

my head. It was a beautiful memory but flawed in many ways, if only I knew it

would come to this.

Many more memories wasted by her. Our car song

jamming, late night rides any many fucking more. I can feel anger rising inside

me, why the **** am I being nice and caring to this bitch again.

We finally arrived to our destination I got out of the

car and walk first, she followed behind my back afterwards. I just remember

that I need a new watch since mine got busted by a chick when we go hard a few

nights ago. It was a gift from Cloud from one of our anniversaries a few years

back. I’m not much of a material person but I just figured I need to replace it

and give her one as well for compensation. I don’t want her having a reason to

talk back to me. I don’t want arguments.

She’s trying so hard to match my walking phase I am

much taller than her, I’m 6’2 tall while cloud is around 5’5. I don’t really

know what brand to buy so I just stop by at the very first shop that I saw. I

was looking around looking at the design of each watch, I turn my head to look

at Cloud behind me in attempt to ask for her opinion. But I stop midway, I

don’t want her thinking that we are going back to our hold habits. In the end I

chose a watch that looks somewhat identical to the one Cloud gave me. Don’t get

me wrong it’s just that the design is minimalistic and could go on any suits I

wear. Yes, that’s the sole reason.

I almost forgot that I also need to buy her a watch

since we are already here. I told her to wait outside. I bought a watch that is

more feminine but looks similar to mine, not to match or anything just—So I

wouldn’t stay there longer.

We’ve been walking around for hours now; we went to

different stores. Cloud insisted on lifting most of the paper bags herself, I

didn’t mind at all because she looks like a personal assistant anyways. She

neither complain at all. While we were at the stores I was thinking if I should

let her fit the clothes first since it might not fit her, but considered it a

waste of time. She isn’t even talking the whole time, just standing behind me

like a shitty shadow or something. Looking at the bags I thought to myself

“Damn did I bought too much, what a lucky bitch you are”. I figured this should

be enough for now.

“We should stop by to eat” I stated nonchalantly.

Because of that statement, she finally looked up to me with dead tired eyes. I

scanned her from head to toe, she looks pale and tired from all the walk her

hair sticks in her forehead because of sweat and her breathing is unsteady. I

gave up on eating for now because the restaurants are far away from our current

location, so instead I tell her.

“On the other hand, I don’t want to go to a fancy

restaurant with you looking like that” she nodded as a respond. “Let’s just

stay on the bench for a while” she nodded once more. There is this feeling

inside me that I wanted to help her but at the same time I really don’t.

We stayed in that bench for a while, silence engulfing

us. I steal glances every now and then. She was looking straight in her feet. I

was thinking of buying her water when a familiar voice echoed on the other side

of the walkway.

“Kai!” Shit! as soon as I heard that voice, I cursed

under my breathe. She is the last person I want to see while I am together with

Cloud. I-I just don’t want her knowing I did the exact same thing she did to me

two years ago, I j-just—it’s a payback for what she did, she had it coming. I

don’t want her to know b-because I don’t war her calling it quits or something.

I want her to feel the guilt everyday knowing that after all she did, I still

supported her and gave her shelter. Shit why the **** am I nervous now?! We’re

not married, she’s nothing but a leech.

“Kai! Kai!, Love you’re here” Cloud finally notice her

as well, she have a slight frown on her eyebrows as she look at her. “She’s a

comrade” Nervousness still hints in my voice and I know she noticed it. ****

it, I don’t fucking care anymore. I grab all the paper bags beside my watch and

stood up to greet her as fast as I could. I did that because I don’t want her

to approach our seats. I promised her I would buy her a Balenciaga just so she

would stop pestering me, she’s a **** buddy but is getting too clingy at this

point. I walk run to her and immediately hand over all the shopping bags we

just bought. And I smiled.

“I wasn’t able to buy Balenciaga but I have these

instead” All of the clothes and shoes inside those are branded. “Dear, you are

so sweet aren’t you. I only asked for small thing but you give me absolutely

everything you could I love you so much” I smirked, I know for a fact she would

gladly spread her legs wide open for all of those, I didn’t hate it at least

Lindsey is honest and not a fucking pretender like Cloud. “I love you too” I

replied, half meant.

She wouldn’t think I am with Cloud because of how she

looks right now, I gotta thank gods she didn’t dress up and cling to me

pathetically today. I would’ve been busted if she knew.

“Did you know that I am coming here to the mall today

and plans to surprise me? You’re cheesy ya’know that? Haha” giggling, I

couldn’t really tell her that those weren’t supposed to be for her. “No, I am

no stalker, Destiny I guess” She smiled lovingly to me and gave me a warm hug,

it was nothing special.

We are having our moment when commotion was suddenly

arising behind me, where I left Cloud. “Kai, it seems that something is

happening there. I have to go; I just ran some errands for boss that’s why I’m

here” I’m not really focus on what she was saying. I want to run as fast as I

could to where Cloud is right now. There is a huge possibility that what’s

behind the crowd was her. “Kai? Kai? I gotta go now love” I finally smiled to

her and gave her a peck on her lips. “Stay safe Lindsey, go home now” She

smiled and left.

The moment she left my sight, I ran as fast as I could

to where Cloud is. Don’t tell me this is one of her fucking stunts again, it is

not funny anymore. I pushed some of the people and there I saw her on the

ground fainted. If this is one of her stupid acts, I swear I’m gonna leave her

first. A man is kneeling beside her holding her shoulder while waiting for

nurses in the mall’s clinic. I felt irritated and remove his hand. I picked her

up and look for the watch I left beside her but it is nowhere to be found, more

or less it was stolen with all this crowd. “Excuse me sir, I know you are

concern but we shouldn’t be lifting her just like that.” I shot a glare at him.

“She’s with me, we’re going home” I shouted “Move!” to the people blocking my

way as I walk my way fast to where my car is. I put her on the passenger sit

and called my older brother, a doctor. To go to our apartment to check on her.

I drove as fast as I could back to our apartment, not

minding the weather. As soon as we I arrived, I immediately rush her to the

bed. Where the **** is my brother now? What’s taking him so long!

I removed Cloud’s shoes. She was sweating so hard, I

decided to rummage through our cabinets and look for more comfortable clothes.

I picked up gray sweat pants and a thin-fabric shirt. I went back to the bed

and start removing her clothes. It’s not uncommon for me to see her ***** body,

I’ve seen it numerous times before, but it’s been so long. I wasn’t aroused

when I saw her *****. Worry rush over me as I see, laying before my eyes, her

skin bone body. Her ribs where showing, this is no way in hell, healthy at

all!. I changed her clothes when I snapped back to reality and then finally

tucking her in our sheets.

Ding Dong*

The doorbell finally rang at last! Opening the door, I

was greeted by the face of Drake. He walks pass me and directly into our

bedroom. Following after him, I saw how he carefully check at the back of his

palms if she has a fever. Well, it seems like it. “Fever, she definitely

fainted because of fatigue and stress, just look how skinny she is” He looked

at me.

“Don’t ask me, I don’t know whatever the **** she’s

doing, you know that” I admitted. It’s not like I am hiding to my only family

what happened to the two of us.

“For fucks sake Damian, I kept on telling you! If you

don’t fucking love her anymore let her go, say it straight to her face”

sternly, goddamn it! How many times do I have to hear that from all of them,

they just didn’t get it?

“And then? Where will she go after that? On the fucking

streets? Let her save up money first before living this apartment.” I

retaliated.

“Whatever you hard headed scum.” He rolled his eyes.

“at least tell me the things you have noticed while the two of you are

together” he continued while checking her pulse rate and blood pressure.

“Well, I would fucking suggest she was on drugs, she’s

disoriented and also pale the whole time and as you could tell, she have become

so skinny even tho I bring food in this apartment every week without fail, I

didn’t neglect her need if ever you want to blame me” I said sternly as well, I

know where this conversation is going so, I have to tell it in advance.

“I wouldn’t really say she was on drugs it could be

other symptoms *sigh this could be a lot easier if you just drive straight to

the hospital where they could give you a fast diagnosis” I could tell that he

is frustrated, but who cares.

“What’s the point of you being our private doctor

then” We were both getting frustratingly irritated with each other. Any moment

now and I will burst into anger. Why does it feel like he was telling me in his

gaze that I did something wrong?

He was about to say something when we noticed that

Cloud is shifting on the bed, slowly opening her eyes. It took her a while to

notice that she was no longer at the mall. She attempts to sit up and Drake

assisted her. Tsk

“Drake? Oh… Wh-what brings you here?”

Hmm? Is the two of them having an affair? “Flirting as

soon as you wake up Cloud? That became a habit to you huh?” she bowed her head feeling

embarrass, not saying another word. That’s what you get for being a bitch.

“Just shut your mouth Damian, will you? I told you,

she’s stress out.” I raised my eyebrows, because I swear if my intuition is

right and the two really do have an affair, I’m gonna beat Drake to a pulp.

Then I will dump ugly Cloud on him. “How the **** is she going to answer to my

questions now huh?! Leave the room”

“No that’s not happening I’m not gonna let the two of

you have your quality time here in my house” Drake wasn’t able to do anything

but mutter a “fuck you” to me.

“Fill this container up to this line with your urine

Cloud that should do it, I will also get your blood once you come back.” Drake

handed her the container but she didn’t take it immediately. Instead, she looks

at me asking for permission. I signal her to go to the bathroom in which she

obeyed.

“Stop abusing her” he spoke as soon as she walked out

of the room, closing the door behind her

“Abused? I never hit her this whole time. Even after

knowing what she did to me” I said flatly

“You just don’t understand do you sigh* you

need a thorough counseling Damian” tsk who cares “When do you plan to propose

to her again?”

“Shut up for now Drake you’re crossing your line, you

might be my brother but I only called you here for your diagnosis.” I glared at

him “It’s not your business to pry”

No one dared to talk after that. Drake gave up arguing

with me, and that’s great. The silence only broke when the door creek open. She

silently gave the sample to Drake and stood there awkwardly. Seemingly

understanding the tension between me and my brother, she finally offered to

walk him out of the apartment.

Cloud came back, but as soon as she enters the room,

she asked a question I wish she didn’t

“Who is that girl? – in the mall…” still not in the

mood because of the conversation I just had with Drake. I finally snap at her.

“I told you it’s a fucking comrade, why do you care?!”

the nervousness I felt a while ago vanished just like that.

“Nothing” she whispered

“Why is it. That every single time I come back to this

apartment. My apartment. I feel nothing else but stress?! It’s either you try

to do some fucking stunts to annoy me, or pry in my life.” She is bowing her

head the whole time.

“It’s just that, I-I used to know every workmate you

have and---” I cut her words “Fuck off”

“Wh-what?” she looks at me confuse “She called you

‘Kai’ you don’t want anyone calling you that” my heart aches hearing her so

close to crying, but I just couldn’t swallow my pride.

“Maybe I’ve changed just like you” She gave me a

bitter smile and turn around not saying another word.

Little do I know that this is the day where we are

getting closer to our end.