"Should I tell my parents about it?" I thought. I am not sure if they will be happy and congratulate me afterall  I haven't told them about it earlier. It's been three days since I received the email and I still haven't gathered up the courage to tell my parents about it.

Hello, I am Eve, a seventeen years old teenager and I live in my own fantasy world which I don't think is necessarily healthy for me. I am no different from other girls at my age but I have a dream which according to the internet is almost impossible to achieve by a brown girl like me. Yes, I want to survive in that pale world . My only dream is to get inside the shiny , bright kpop world and after much inner conflicts I had given a number of online kpop auditions. It' been like what? Three weeks? Honestly I had no hope of getting selected but the email I received three days ago showed me a new light.  It was written in bold "Congratulations, you have passed round 1. We are looking forward to your round 2 audition. Your ticket to korea will be sent to you via email - SM entertainment".

  Today I am finally going to tell my parents about it , wish me luck *sighs*.

My parents were never the strict , violent types but  the way I stammered while telling them about it made me seem like a criminal. My parents still haven't responded clearly and I am getting more anxious with time.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" "Once you choose this as your career option you will not be able to back out" "Why do you want to be a kpop idol? You don't even know korean and you want to be a korean singer?" I faced a long chain of questions but  fortunately enough I was able to convince them that I can do it and I can also be an inspiration.

Sure I convinced them but no one was at ease after I made my announcement afterall I will have to leave my studies here ( I am still in high school) and go abroad to be a trainee with no surety that I will make it as an idol. Also I need to pass my round 2 of audition. But as a matter of fact I will be going to korea for my audition and the rest of my future depends on whether I pass it or no.

We  are on our way to the SM entertainment building to give my audition and I can't help but feel anxious at the unexpected turning of things. I am nervous. I want to pass the audition and start a new life but I am also afraid of the change. I am afraid , I am afraid of how things may turn out , I am afraid that I might need to go home , I am afraid that my dream will only be a truth at night. I can see the tall building now. My  fate lies inside. Yes, I am prepared but again not everyone can survive in this world . It is a real life hunger game and my sole purpose here is to survive and reach the top.

I was escorted to the dance studio by one of the SM staffs. I was astounded by the number of people there who got selected in round 1. "They are complete visuals" I thought to myself after letting out a long sigh.Each one of them looked confident rehearsing there dance moves. There was one girl in the corner , she looked a little different from the rest. I roughly guessed her nationality. "I don't think she is a korean. Chinese maybe? umm not all Asians look alike."

"I can't deny it.They all look good."

I was startled by the sudden interruption of my chain of thoughts.

I glanced at my side to find a boy in his tens staring at me with utmost interest.

I can't believe I blurted out my thoughts.

He was smiling at me.

He was attractive , almost 178cm tall, he was pale white and had hazel eyes, his brown hair covered his forehead and his cheekbones were prominent. He looked even more handsome in his simple black T-shirt and black jeans.

Looking at my expressionless face he said "Oops, guess I startled you. I was passing by and you looked a little tensed so I thought maybe I should ease you up! I am Mark by the way."

He said stretching his hand forward and offered me a handshake.

"Eve". I took his hand with a smile.

"You don't look like an East Asian though." He said looking me in the eyes.

"Ahh..yeah I just flew here the other day".I said after a brief pause. My nervousness was quite evident in my tone. He let out a little laugh while I stood there giggling at the embarassment I felt.

"Are you here for the audition too?" I asked after shaking off my embarassment.

"No, I am a trainee." He said looking at the girl in the corner who was seemingly rehearsing her song.

"Oh.You must be pretty talented then."I said looking at the direction he was staring at.

"It's the image that matters. Talents?Pfft. you will develop it as a trainee." He said now looking at me.

This was something new .I looked at him in complete amusement.

"Entertainment companies sell idol's images and you need to show them that they can sell yours.They want their idols to be confident in themselves and their own moves. Even if you are not good in something show them that you can fix it by continuous hard work.That's it! It's simple see?And about talents, they will train and tutor you so that you can develop your talents, so don't worry",he said.

He was so calm and composed.He knew exactly what he is saying and that surprisingly put me at ease. I was confident than before and I was even more determined to hold onto my dream.

"Cool..You are such a great advisor. I feel relaxed now..I will try my best.Tha- "I was interrupted by the same SM staff from before.

"Are you ready? Your audition will start in less than five minutes."The staff announced.

Finally! the nerve racking moment was here! I could feel my heart drop to my stomach. I looked at Mark who was now giving me a thumbs up.I rushed to the audition room and to my greatest surprise there was no judge inside.It was completely empty!

I thought I would have to audition infront of a lot of judges but to my greatest surprise it was completely empty. The room was huge,kinda looked like a dance studio.Three of its walls were covered by gigantic mirrors and the fourth wall held the huge speakers,some cameras and some technical machines (the purpose of which i still don't know).

I was staring around the brightly lit room which by then has started to hurt my eyes. a series of thoughts ran across my mind and at the same time i was nervous.I wanted to end my audition quickly and before I get all sweaty.

"Excuse me?" I said to the staff who was setting up a camera infront of me."Am I gonna audition here? I mean there is no one here." I continued.

"Yes,look into the camera here when you perform. Let me make the intructions clear for you." She said after she finished setting the camera.She seemed to be in a hurry so I nodded quickly.

"You have to perform three songs. One in English , one in Korean and another in either of the languages you are comfortable in. Each song should be atmost thirty-five seconds long. Once you are finished with the songs we will play a random song for you and you will have to freestyle to it." She told me in a hurried tone.

"okay ,I get it. Thank you!" I said.

It took a few minutes for the audition to finally start. I  could feel my heart thumping and I was nervous as hell !

"I flew all the way here for this particular moment.I cannot get nervous and ruin everything. I have made it this far and I will be selected! I have to give my best, I don't want to return to that boring life of mine! I can do it. It's the image that matters the most." I repeated to myself.It didn't help me much.I was still nervous. Anyways I started singing. I started with the song 'Chandelier' by Sia , then I rapped Lisa's part in the song 'Kill this love' by BlackPink and for the third song I went for an English song. I was careful with the song selection as it matters the most. I cannot just sing whatever and expect the judge to like it. I sang 'No scars to your beautiful' for the ending song.

I was clever enough to sing just the catchy parts of the songs in the limited time alloted to me. I was not a pro but I sang to an acceptable level. For my talents I wanted to show them how flexible I was with my vocals,so I chose to do the highnotes and raps in the songs.

I was given a two minutes of break before the dancing round starts. For me dancing is a really sensitive topic because I suck at dancing.My body just becomes stiff out of nowhere when I am told to dance. "I don't need to be necessarily good at everything, right? ofcourse that is why training is for" I thought to myself with a nervous laugh.

"Focus Eve focus, image, just maintain your image!" I repeated to myself.

The music started playing, it was 'Shape of you' by Ed Sheeran. I started to vibe with the song with an 'I don't care what you think' look on my face! I was pretty confident with whatever I was doing until I looked at myself in the mirror.And believe me I was dancing like a dying chicken( I knew the moves but as I haven't learned dancing before so I didn't know how to execute the steps properly). And that's when I messep up!