Right now,we are heading on a bar.I'm with two good pals.

One is a young man named Daisuke Satoshi.He is twenty-one years old who have a good poature with good qualities.He has a brown hair, fair eyes straight nose.He is afriendly and joyful man. Although he doesn't have a look of a handsome actor,he was popular in the industry.But the most important thing is that he had been following me since then.We are prioritizing diffferent stories so I don't know why.

The other one is a middle-age man,past thirty years old named Yakeru Itamura.Even though he was older than me, he had a good-looking face. When I first met him,I thought he was only a teenager.No lies. Black hair and sharp eyes.He was also friendly but he was always on guard to women. Afterall,he has already a wife and son.They are good family you see.And we have been acquainted more than years now.A long bond.

We have been walking for a while now like a three bad boys in the middle of the breezy night.Then after some time,we finally arrived at the place we are searching.Actually,I don't know that this bar exist.And the only reason why I'm here is because Satoshi invited me here.I think it was also the same for Itamura.

"This is the place?." Itamura asked

"Yes!." Satoshi answered.

We entered the bar and saw what I'm expecting.Rounded chairs,slightly dim atmosphere, the drinks and the alcohol placed in a huge cabinet.And a bartender.Oh,no blonde girls dancing in a pole here.A good thing actually.

"Not bad."

I said and looked around.I noticed that there were no other customers except us. Compared to the bar I usually visited,this one seems not popular.

"How did you find this place,Satoshi?." asked Itamura

"Actually,I know the bartender here.But it seems like he doesn't know me.It's a long story but don't ask anymore questions and let's dive in to the alcohol,Itamura-sensei!!."

We sat on the table.I looked at the bartender.

He was probably in his fifties.He was wearing a nice uniform with his white long sleeve and black nectie.He has narrowed eyes with few wrinkles in his face.He seems reserve.His giving me of an impression of a good pal.I think we can get along well if we talked about each other lives.

"What drink you want, gentlemen?." asked by the bartender.

"A gin.Full cup.No mix.Five glasses.The strongest one if possible." I said.

"A lemon whiskey for me,Oribe-san." said Satoshi

"A beer for me." said Itamura

The bartender,which seem to had a name if Oribe,turned his body around,roll up his sleeves and start preparing the beverages in a skillful manner.

"Is it okay to smoke here?." I asked,directing the question to the bartender.

He didn't answer but instead,he just nod his head up.

I pulled out a box of cigarette and lighter from my left hip pocket.But I realized something wrong as I only managed to pull out the small box.

"Ah.I think I forgot the lighter."

I doubled check all the pockets in my outfit and learned that it was no use.

"Not good.Itamura,you have a lighter?."

He checks his pocket a pulled out his own lighter.He slide it towards me to the table in front of us.

"Thanks,man"

I pulled one cigarette from the box,put it in my mouth,lit it, took a sip and blew the smoke in my side.

"You want one,kid?." I asked as I offered the box to Satoshi.

"Didn't I tell you I'm not smoking,Harakiri-senpai?."

"Is that so?."

I sipped from the cigarette and blew the smoke again.

"Didn't I said to not call 'Senpai' me kid.You look stupid by saying that."

"But you are four years older than me so it is just natural right?."

"Well there's one more person here who is better to be called by that." I said as I shifted my look to Itamura.

"No,Harakiri.I'm not used to be called by that." he replied as he shook his head slightly.

I smiled and finished the stick that I have been consuming in my mouth.

"Ah,by the way,Harakiri-senpai.There is an ashtray besides you."

I looked at the side part of the table saw the thing.

"You're right."

I stomped the cigarette there and get another one form the box.I see.I quite liking this bar already.Most of the bars I visited so far didn't allow to smoke inside but this one is different.

After consuming two sticks of cigarettes,the bartender finally presents to us the beverages.

"Here's your order,gentlemen." he said as he handed to us the alcohol we chose.

"By the way,it's my treat.So order whatever you want!." Satoshi declared.

What a good news.I drunk two cups of gin straightly.Then took again a cigarette from the box and lit it.

"You really love alcohol don't you,Harakiri?."

"And cigarette,man."

I drunk the third and fourth cups of pure gin.

Ah,it was burning to my esophagus.I feel like I just swallow a long molten sword. The best feeling.

"Five more,bartender."

"Same drink sir?."

"Yeah."

He turned around and did my request.

"Woaah.That was fast,Harakiri-senpai."

"That was just normal."

"Isn't supposed you drink an alcohol slowly?.I mean,you must savor its taste to the fullest?."

"That only works on whiskey and champagne.But if you are drinking gin or beer,you must drink as much as you can right,Itamura?."

"Yeah.Although you must controlled yourself.You must not get to the point where you can possibly cause problems to other.Two more beers please, bartender."

"See?."

I drunk the final cup in the table and took a sip from the cigarette.Then he turned around again to prepare Itamura's additional beers.

There,we started talking each other lives.It was usual thing we do when we are going in a bar. We consulted each other's health and it seems like they are very concern about it when it comes to me.But I immediately said that I'm okay.I said that I can at least still twnenty more years and we laughed.

We also talked the good things and the bad things we experienced recently.

"Well that's the story.We broke up." Satoshi said in a mournful voice.

Itamura tapped his back few times and said.

"Well you're still young man.You will still meet other women out there."

"Well...yeah."

"But for now,let your heart to fill by beer."

"Eh?."

"Right now,you are heartbroken.The only way to forget that and move on is to get hangover.And to get hangover you need to be drunk.And you need to take alcohol to become drunk.Right, Harakiri?."

"Are you the one who is more alcoholic than me,man?."

We laughed and Satoshi immediately drunk the glass of beer from Itamura.

"Alcohol is like love." I said suddenly while spinning around the glass of gin I'm holding.

"The first kiss is sensual,the second is romantic,the third is habit.After that,you will spread the girl's legs like opening a big scissor."

"Uhmmm,isn't some kind of comfort or advice,Harakiri-senpai?."

"That only applies for people who currently had girlfriend,kid."

Me and Itamura both laughed.Satoshi turned his head for a second then eventually laughed afterwards.

"You should told to her how hard to accomplish a manga chapter per week." I said giving a serious advice this time.

"I already tried that to know why I can't put so much to her but it she was not satisfied with it.So if she will not accept how the way I am,it was better to end of our relationship."

I didn't reply back and just drank a glass of gin.

Basically,Satoshi said that he broke to her girlfriend on which,as far as I remember from what he shared last time,he have relationship for a year now.I'm actually already saw the said girl.She was quite of beauty but since they already broke up,there no meaning to decsribe her anymore.

If romance is a business,trust will be the capital.It was just a matter of how much you trust your partner.Of course,each couple have different opinion about that.But in Satoshi case,trust is the reason why they broke up.

Romance was a complicated thing.There were some people who ended up to the least person they think.It was as unexpected as the plot twist in mystery stories.

And there were some people who they thought they are fated to each other but after some time,they will realize that was not the case.

Just like us.

"Well that's what happen." Itamura also said in a mournful voice and drank the beer in front of him.

"Condolences,man." I said in a cheap voice

"Uhhhhmmm.My condelences,Itamura-san."

"Don't worry.It already a week had passed."

For Itamura's story,her grandmother passed away due to old age.Well that was already an expected thing to happen. We born,we study,we get job,we get family,we get old.

Then die.

But to think that her grandmother reached the age of ninety-five,that was quite impresssive.

Well Itamura have been saying us for few times how his own familly really take care her.

It just happen that all the sand from the hourglass already went down.

"Farewells were only meant to say if it sad,lonely and final huh..."

"Hmmm.Did you say something,Harakiri-senpai?."

"Ah.No,nothing."

I tried to dodge his question by puffing to my cigarette.I said some unusual words.

Afterall,those words were something she will say.

"By the way,Harakiri-senpai." he said as he shifted the topic.

"Hmmm?."

"Well first of all,congratulations to the success of the anime adaption of your masterpiece work,Harakiri-senpai!."

Satoshi said as he raised his glass of whiskey in the air.Itamura also did the same.I followed.

We then said "cheers" and drunk our own alcohol.

"Masterpiece huh.You're exaggerating,kid."

"Ehhh?.But no matter how many times I rewatched,it doesn't fail to make me cry."

"So you watched it more than once?."

"Of course!!."

"Well,that was because the directors who did that the adaption."

"That reason again." he reacted in dismayed.

He was surely talking about what happened in the interview.

"I'm not agree with that, Harakiri." Itamura suddenly butt in "Even without the anime adaption,I already shred in tears in the original source, which is the novel.Specifically l'm the one of the few first people who read your work.And you know what I mean right?."

"Well,you're my editor afterall."

He finished the beer he was drinking for a while now and continue.

"You were only supposed to write murder mystery stories. How come you wrote a romance story and end it like that?." he said as if blaming why I made him cried with the ending he was talking about.

"Ah.I remembering the ending again." He added and wiped the corner of her eyes probably stopping the tears that about to flow.

"It was a beatiful story that even a man with his thirties cried on it." Satoshi suddenly said.

I didn't react to their priases and just stared at the bottle of alcohols in front of me.I'm not boasting myself but what they said were right.

"Okay,going back to the topic.Tell about yourself, Harakiri-senpai." Satoshi said as if we are just going to the real business.

"What's more about me?." I said,trying to play innocent.

"Share us something important."

"Important?."

"What I mean is the person you are talking about in the interview earlier."

Just like I expected,it had something to do interview.I really blundered that time.I wished I didn't mention that.

"Well Harakiri" Itamura suddenly spoke up in a timid voice "it's not like I'm with Satoshi but I also like to hear some stories from you."

"A story huh."

"That's right!.Even though we have been drinking for a long time now,you never talk about your personal life.It always about your works.But I'm not saying I didn't like it,Harakiri-senpai." Satoshi said,stating a fact.

"Of course,it's not like we are invading your privacy or like that.If it is something sensitive to talk,you really don't have to share it with us."

Itamura added.

"Is that so?."

"But isn't nice?.To tell a memory or a life story to your close friends?."

I opened my restless eyes a bit wide.Then closed them immediately afterwards.I took two more cups of gin in the table.I consumed first the fifth cigarette from my mouth and stomped it in the ashtray.

"Okay.I'm in a good mood now.You want a story right?.Then I will tell you one."

"Really!?." Sotashi excitingly reacted.

"Wait.Harakiri.You will not tell us a story from one of your mystery novels right?."

"Don't worry.It's a real thing."

I drunk a cup of gin that was just served to me by the bartender.I closed my eyes and put my right hand to my forehead.Then I started recalling the events that happened a long time ago.

My head is spinning.I was probably already drunk now.

"It was all started with that girl."

She was beautiful,cute and charming young lady.

"She was good in cooking."

She also loves drawing.

"She always wear that cheerful smile."

And I didn't manage to protect that innocent smile.

"But she did some crazy things to me."

But there is a reason for that.And I'm really got angry when I learned that.

"I wished I can go back in time."

But that was impossible.Time travel only existed in fiction.

"I wished we can stay like that forever....."

But it was just already a farewell from the past.There's nothing I can do right now.

"I wonder where she is now...."

Where she is now?.

While reminiscing the past, Satoshi suddenly tapped my right shoulder and shook it a little bit.

"Harakiri-senpai!.Harakiri-senpai."

I came back to my senses and looked at him.

"What is it?."

"Are you perhaps already starting telling your story?.You suddenly blurted out some words."

"Ah."

He was right.I just realized it.Not good.

"You also look sad when you started talking.

It's okay if you not tell us anymore,Harakiri-senpai.I'm sorry for forcing you." he said as he bowed his head in front of me.

I opened my eyes slightly.This kid is really...Well he always like that.He had that kind of good nature.That's the reason why I chose to hang out with him.

I patted his head gently.Just like what I did to that girl way back then.

"Raised your head kid.Don't worry.It was not a sad story."

That's right.I tried to recalled again some moments with that girl.If I remember correctly,she said some lines like this:

'This story of yours is really amazing.I'm not lying okay?.Could I read your other works?.'

'This is sucks.Your apartment looks terrible.

But don't worry.I will teach you how to clean it properly.So listen to what I'm going say,okay?'

'Eh,Eh?.Yo-you really don't have to say that in front of many people.It's embarassing.Ah,my face is all red now."

'Moeeee!.Could you at least showed your face in the camera?.We are already taking so many takes just for this simple selfie,you idiot.'

'The wedding gown on this mall looks so gorgeous.I wonder it will suit to my personality.'

See?.It was not really a sad story afterall.

I smiled quite big after remembering them.

Then pulled out one more cigarette from the box and put it in my mouth.But when I was about to light it,a thought came to my mind.

'You should limit yourself in smoking and taking alcohol.If you don't,you will die early.

You don't want that right?.'

Die huh?.

For some reason,I gritted my teeth while remembering that word.

I put back the stick inside the box and slide the lighter to the table,returning it to the owner.Itamura catch and put it in his hip pocket and asked me.

"You okay now Harakiri?."

"Yeah.I'm ready to share my story.But I want to remind that it was a pretty long story.Might take three to four hours.You okay with that?."

"I'm all set!.Just take your time narrating it in detail,Harakiri-senpai!."

"Are you sure?.I heard that you still need to finish your manga chapter."

"Don't worry.I'm already advanced drawing three chapters.So I really don't need to rush for now!."

"I see.How about you,man?." I asked as I turned my eyes to Itamura.

"Well,supposing that you are not lying,I'm quite interested to this girl you just said.So I'm in."

"How about your wife?.She will be worry if you come in your home late,you know?."

"Don't worry.Give me a moment.I will text her." he said as he pulled out his phone from his pocket.

While waiting for Itamura for his permission,the bartender spoke to me.

"Another five cups sir?."

"Ah.I'm already in my limit pal."

"I see."

"By the way,can we stay for a while here?."

"Don't worry sir.I'm working until twelve midnight."

"Really?.Then that's good to hear."

The conversation ended there and the middle-aged man suddenly spoke up.

"It seems like my wife doesn't believe me.She said she wants an evidence that I'm with you guys."

"So how about you take a selfie and send it to your wife,Itamura-san?." suggested by Satoshi.

"That's a good idea."

They went to where I'm seating and position themselves to take a photo.I showed a plain face.Then the camera was shut twice.After confirming that it was a good photo,they immediately go back to their seats.

"By the way,bartender." I asked while Itamura was waiting for the response from her wife.

"What is it sir?."

"Did you also curious about my story?."

"Don't mind me sir.I'm just here to serve my customers."

"Is that so?."

He left the place right after that reply.He was probably going to wash the cups we used.

"'Sorry for doubting you again huh'."

Itamura finally spoke up although in a way as if he was talking to himself while looking at his phone.I looked at his face.He was smiling a little.

"What's the matter,Itamura?." I cursiously asked.

"Ah.No,it's nothing.Anyways,I finally convinced her.Although she said to go home before midnight."

"I see.Don't worry man.We still have time."

I looked at the wall clock in front of me.It was already eight-o'clock in the evening.

I sighed deeply and starred in the beverages.

"It was a story happened when I'm a third year highschool student."

"Wait.Third year highschool student..."

He counted imaginary inside his head then spoke up.

"Seven years ago!!?."

"You rather look suprised."

"No.It's just that..."

"So you have been keeping this story of yours for seven years?." Itamura butted in.

"Well something like that."

"But you chose to share a story that was happened many years ago.This must be a very important event for you right,Harakiri-senpai?." Satoshi asked

I opened my eyes widely.That's right.

If it's not for that encouter,I will probably still living in a situation way back then.

If it's not for that girl,I will never become what I want to be.

As meeting this girl changed my life forever.

And I didn't expect that from the beginning.

I closed my eyes for a moment.That's right.

There is this one line she said to me in a very cheerful voice even though she was in a tought situation that time.This line from her really moved me and hit me like a truck.That's the moment I realized the time I'm wasted on my life.

'Five years later,I could see Satoru as a successful author.That time,I will immediately go in a bookstore and buy your novel.But of course,in order for that to happen,you need to continue for becoming one.Don't worry.If you are in trouble,I'm always here for you.So don't hesitate to consult me,okay?."

I don't know if I should be happy or sad that time.But right now,I chose the former.I smiled and opened my eyes.

Not good.I'm skipping too much of the story.

"Your right,kid.Anyways,it all started in May....."

And there,I started narrating my story.

A story about an alcoholic anspiring author and a talented artist.

And a story that begins and ends in farewell.

I was sitting in a chair in a very dark apartment right now.The only light that is present is the one coming from the computer in front of me.

Today is a certain day on April and the time was almost twelve o'clock in the evening.

Right now,I'm currently checking again my story to see some grammatical mistakes or some sentence that was not laid very well.

I have been checking since eight-o'clock and I'm still not done yet.That's because I'm making sure that my story was perfectly organized.Afterall,this story will determine my decision next month.

Anyways,after some time,I finally finished what I'm doing.I slide my mouse from left to right slowly.Then clicked the right button from it.In the monitor,it shows the small arrow went to the 'Submit' button and clicked it.

After confirming that I already submitted my work,I stood up,get my box of cigarette and lighter and went out.I pulled out one stick,put it in my mouth and lit it.I sipped and blew the smoke slowly.

"Will I win this time?."

Eleventh webnovel competition.

Forty-fifth story.

Although I'm wishing to win this time,I already have a hunch what will the result.

I guess death is inevitable

I'm in the middle of deep sleep right now.Even though I'm already heard the alarm clock,Im mean,my phone.I'm just turn it off and continue on sleeping.

After an approximately thirty minutes of extra sleep,I decided to get up already on my bed.I stood up and fix the bedsheet even though I didn't know how to fix them properly.

I looked at the clock that was hung in the wall.It was already seven forty-five in the morning.

And it implies two things.First is that I'm always setting my alarm clock at seven fifteen.And two is the fact that I will be late AGAIN in class.

Of course,it depends from each people.Some can still manage to attend in school in time even though they only have fifteen minutes left from the clock.Unfortunately,I'm not like those people.As I need at least an hour to prepare in going school.I'm the slow type afterall.

Anyways,I went towards the table to eat a breakfast.There's nothing special about here since I only have a couple of bread and a peanut butter.

I opened the bread in half and opened the kid of peanut butter.I get a spoon from the untensil cabinet,scoop a bit from the peanut and put it in the bread.I closed the slice bread then start eating.

After that,I went towards the restroom to finally take a bath.After washing my body,I get my toothbrush,put some toothpaste on it and brush my teeth.After that,I looked to the mirror for a bit to check something.

"They are getting bigger huh."

What I mean is the black spots under my eyes.In short,eye bags.

Finally,I came out from the restroom,went to my bedroom and wear my uniform.I got my watch from the table,and put it around my right hand.I also got the keys there.I arranged some papers that was laying on the table.

After grooming myself a little bit,it's finally yime to leave my apartment.I get the one-handed bag from the sofa then went out.

I unlock the bicycle lock from the back tire and put it in the front basket.Then I used it to come towards the school.

After some time of biking,I finally arrived to the school.I parked my bike at the bicycle parking station and put back its lock on the back tire.

I looked at my watch.It was already eight fifteen.Of course,as expected,there are no more students coming back and forth since they are surely in their respective classroom right now.

I used the stairs near me to went towards my classroom, which was located in the second floor.After walking on the hallway,I finally standing up on the front sliding door.

I knocked on it and the teacher,who is already in the middle in the class,opened it for me.

"You're late again,Harakiri-kun."

"I'm sorry,Sensei.I forgot again to set up my alarm clock." I said as I bowed my head to him

"Same excuse huh.Anyways,go towards to your seat now.I don't want to waste any time here."

"I understand."

I went towards my seat and sat from it.My classmates was not suprised anymore,as I did this many times more than two years now.

Meanwhile,Sensei continue on his lessons.Oda Ishida-the teacher who is teaching right now,is slighlty small old man,probably in his forty years of age.His simple cloth is matching his loose-eyes(who is also wearing a glasses)and round-shaped face.His tedious manner is evident on the way how he teach us his major subject,Mathematics.This subject was already boring to most people and it become more boring when Ishida-sensei is the one who is assigned on it.But I didn't care though about that fact.

Anyways,he was not our homeroom teacher.If I'm not mistaken,our homeroom teacher will be next after this.

After an hour,the Math class finally ended.And my assumption is correct as our homeroom teacher-Asashi Samejima immediately arrived after Ishida-sensei left,to teach us now English subject.

Unlike to Ishida-sensei, Samejima-sensei is quite young adult,probably ranging from twenty-three to twenty-eight years old.To be honest,he has a handsome face.And the way how he teach us this English subject is showing how he was so dedicated in teaching students.He was a cheerful and concerning teacher.That's why I would be surprised if he still doesn't have a girlfriend at this point.

My classmates attentively listen to this English lesson.While the class is ongoing,let me describe this school,as well as myself quickly.

Tokyo Metropolitan Kokusai High School-the name of the school I'm attending.

The name is Satoru Harakiri. Yeah.A surname with a blood smell on it.I'm alcoholic but not drug addict.I also smoke.I'm one of those people who wouldn't mind to accept a cigarette from a stranger and a man who you could get along if you invite me in a bar.

Eighteen years of age which is a little advanced to some students.I often got late in school but the number of it is still less than the number of days I got in time in school.

Handsome?.Cute guy?.I don't know.I'm not sure.I can't answer.My face was hard to describe.I can give you a sketch of it but I'm not an ARTIST.That was a work for someone else.

Loner?.Popular?.In between.I have a friend,at least.A very good friend.

A delinquent?.An otaku?.Not really.A hardboiled student in some ways.If you know that word.

Like?.Dislike?.I don't have dislikes but I like three things.Alcohol,cigarette

And mystery.

Hobby?.Let talked about it later.

Today is Wednesday.Second day of May.It means that we only have ten months before leaving this school.

The weather today is pleasant, which is already expected since May is not included in rainy season.

After some hours,the morning class already ended and it's now time for lunch break.I stood up from my chair,went outside the classroom,heading to the canteen.Yes,unlike to most people,I'm buying my lunch in canteen.Afterall I don't have someone in my apartment to prepare it to me.And I'm not the type of person to do that.

Upon arriving,I chose the cheapest set of lunch out there.After paying for it,I carried the tray and search for a vacant table.After finding one,I went owards it and sat on the chair.

My lunch just contain a cup of rice,some meat and vegetable and soup,which is already enough to fill my stomach.

When I'm about to start to eat,someone sat down in front of me and put his lunch tray in the table.

"Why didn't you invite me here from the classroom,Satoru?."

"I saw that you are still talking to your other friends.I don't want to bother you."

"But you could just wait for me right?."

"You looked so worried about this.But didn't we always experience this kind of situation for more than two years now,Izumi?."

"Well you have a point."

Izumi Kimura is a classmate and friend of mine.I become friends with him since the first month of first year highschool.There's nothing special to our first meeting.He talked to me first and replied back.As the time goes by,we noticed that we are getting along to each other.

But that was quite a mystery thing.Compared to me,he was a good-looking student.A clean face,good hairstyle,smooth skin and a height a little bit taller to me.With those characteristics, he was the one of the most popular students in the campus.And he was proned to love confessions in all grade level.Although he didn't accept any of that.So far,he still doesn't have a girlfriend.

Anyways,we started eating togother.And at the middle of that,Izumi spoke up again.

"I wouldn't mind that kind of attitude of yours,my friend.But you should enjoy more your highschool life.We still only have ten months remaining. After this,we will part aways and will become busier to our own business."

"Don't worry.I may not look like enjoying my youth but I'm already satisfied with my current situation.But I will be happier if my WORK got accepted."

Aside from his stunning appearance,he was also a friendly man.He have so many friends and most of them are also popular on this school, unlike me.That's why I wonder why he decided to become friends with me.I thought that he has some ulterior motive with.But after experiencing those two years,I realized that his actions are geniune.

"Your work huh.Since we come to that,how's your mystery novel?.Did you already finished writing it?."

"Yeah.And I already submitted the whole thing in a online webnovel competition a month ago."

"Eh!!?.Why didn't you tell me about that?."

"Ah.I thought I already talked about it yesterday."

"No,no.I thought that you are just about to submit it later."

"Is that so?."

"Anyways,how's the result?.Did you won?."

"I'm not sure.The result will be post later in the evening."

That's the hobby.Writing mystery stories.But not just a hobby.I'm talking it seriously.

Afterall,I'm an aspiring mystery novelist.

I once read a mystery book way back when I still in middle school.The title is 'And Then They Were None'.It was one of the famous works of Agatha Christie.

Then that's when I started reading her other books,as well as the other authors like Dorothy Sayers,John Dickson Carr and others.They are mostly classics.As classic as eighties song.

But the most important question is did I get any achievement from writing mystery stories?.

None.Not even a yen.

"I see.Is that the reason for that eyebags of yours,my friend?."

"Well.....your right."

It become a bad habit of mine to write the scripts of my work late in night.That's why I often attend school late.And the reason for these black spots under my eyes.

"You should fix that habit of yours,my friend.It may affect your body in the future,you know."

"Yeah,yeah.Don't worry.Don't worry.I'm not in a bad shaped right?."

He looked at my upper body first then replied.

"That was true.You looked healthy,physically.But are okay,mentally?."

"...."

I couldn't answer back.It feels like he land a strong punch to me.Mentally huh.I think I made Izumi worried about that.

"Don't worry.I'm okay,Izumi.I'm always talked about you if I have problems right?."

"Well,I couldn't denied.But it feels like there are some things that you don't want to tell or consult to me."

As expected,Izumi is sharp.As if he could read my mind.

"Anyways,let's finished eating our lunch." I suggested to finally end the conversation there.I don't want to make him ask anymore questions about that topic.

He didn't talk anymore and follow my suggestion.That was a good thing from Izumi.

He knows when to hold back.

After some time,we finally done eating.We both went towards the canteen to buy a bottle of water and decided to went back in the classroom together.

I went towards my seat.I looked at my watch.We still have thirty minutes to spare before the afternoon class starts.

With that fact,I decided to a read a mystery novel to kill some time.I picked up one from my bag.

The title of the book I'm holding right now is called "The Judas Window" by John Dickson Carr. For those who didn't know,it was locked-room mystery novel he wrote in 1938.

Carr was know for being a master of "locked-room mysteries"-a type of murder mystery where the crime was committed in a way that it was impossible for the culprit to get in or out from the crime scene.Anyways,this book is one of his famous works.A high regard book.

While reading the novel,I heard a couple of conversations.When I looked up where it come from,I saw Izumi,happily chatting to our other classmates.Some boys and some girls are surrounding him.There are taking about so many different topics like "What did you do yesterday in your home?" or "Did you know that blah blah...?".Something like that.

Come to think of it,I never been in that kind of situation,where you are having fun to your classmates.I never have a long conversation about something except from Izumi.To tell you the truth,aside from some teachers,he was the only one whom I talked about my goal to become a mystery author in the future.

I don't exactly know how much he value our friendship but thanks to him,I somehow manage myself to be motivated on my goal.

Anyways,I went back on reading and after some minutes,the bell rung.The lunch break finally ended and it's time for the afternoon class.The students went back to their respective seats to prepare for the next subject.

I put back the novel in my bag.I only manage to read somehow thirty pages with that amount of time.Then I prepare myself for the next class.

The class continues and after some hours,the bell rung.The teacher on the last subject bowed her head and left the classroom.Then our homeroom teacher arrived and said that there were no major announcement.With that,the school class finally ended and it's time now to go home.

I packed my things and immediately left the classroom. Since I didn't joined any clubs, for the third straight year,I don't need to stay in the school any longer.Additionally,Izumi and I take different routes just after leaving the school gate so we couldn't go back to our homes together.

Anyways,I went towards the bicycle park and searched for my bike.When I found it,I removed its lock and put it to the front basket.Then I used it again to go back to my home

After some minutes,I finally arrived to the apartment.I parked again the bike and put back its lock.

After entering the aparment,I went to my bedroom and changed my uniform to nomal clothes I used in home.I also removed my watch from my right wrist.I put my bag on the sofa.Then I went to the small dining table to eat some bread with peanut butter to fill my stomach a little bit.

After eating,I check the time from my watch.It was still four-o'clock on the afternoon.If I'm not mistaken,the results will be announced later at ten-o'clock.That means I need to wait for five hours to decide my FATE.

Anyways,if that's the case,then I will continue on reading the novel I left earlier in the lunch break.I pick up the book from my bag and started reading in the sofa.

Almost two hours have passed and I finally finished reading the novel.That was a good experience.Well I wouldn't say that it can match his best work,which is the "The Hallow Man" but it was still a very clever locked-room mystery. Anyways,I put the book in my own bookshelf in the bedroom.

I looked at the wall clock.It was still six-fifteen in the afternoon. At first,I been thinking to read one more novel but at the end I refused. Instead,I choose to kill time in my computer.I were towards to where it was place, sat on the chair and opened the computer.I watched random stuffs on the Facebook and Youtube.I also decided to read and reread interviews from some mystery authors.

After an hour,I decided to eat now,as my stomach starts growling.

I went to the kitchen,put some water on the keetle and start heating it in the stove.While waiting for it to simmer,I get the noodles cup and opened it. After a couple of minutes,the water from the kettle finally boiled.I turn off the stove,got the kettle and put the water in the noodles cup.With that,I finally started eating.

After some time,I finally finished.I put the cup in the garbage bag.I get the pitcher from the refrigator to drink some water.

I looked at the wall clock again.It was still seven-thirty in the evening.At first,I decided to sit in the sofa while starring at the floor,thinking about the result.

Will I will this time?.Or my journey about being a mystery author will finally end here?.The more I think about it,the more my mind got confuse.So I decided to throw that train of thought.

I went to my bedroom,turn the lights and laid on the bed.It was very silent in my apartment.I could hear the ticking of the clock.I could also hear some vehicles passing in the road outside.

While starring at the ceiling, somehow,I could feel loneliness.It's not because I'm just alone right now in my apartment.It is not also because I didn't made any more friends in the school aside from Izumi.It was a very different feeling, which is something I couldn't say specifically.While in the middle of deep thoughts,I didn't noticed I fall asleep.

2.

I woke up on my own.Then I quickly look at the wall clock.It was already eleven-o'clock in the evening.With that fact,I immediately realized something.

"The results.."

I rushed towards my personal computer and opened it.Then I tap the website where I submit my work.When I saw who won the first place award,I lowered my eyes.

"I lost again huh."

I see.I understand now the feeling I have been experiencing earlier before I fall asleep.The loneliness of being lose again on this webnovel competition.

I looked again to the computer screen.There is a short review message that was posted in in my work.It goes like this:

"Traditional mystery story will never be good enough to attract more readers,especially in the light novel industry.I'm actually surprised that you have the guts to write this kind of story in this era.I will give a props for that.But better luck next time."

After reading that text,I shut down my personal computer.

I got a couple of beers from refrigerator.It's time to celebrate this defeat with myself.After drinking all of that,I got two cigarettes from the pack that was place on the top of refrigerator.I also get the lighter that was in a seperate pants from my cabinet.

I decided to went outside and stay in a very small terrace in the front door for a while.I put the cigarette through my mouth and lit it with my lighter.I took one to two sip then mumbled something.

"You don't have to say that..."

I already know what people taste in light novels.Even so,I still hoping for some change.A miracle.If there is a possibility for that,I would be really happy.

Or maybe it's time to give up already.I been doing this business for almost three years now.And I haven't won any single award from the competitions I partake.

I remember a certain line from someone.

"You will never be become an author!.If you just follow what your older brother was doing, maybe you could finally find your own talent!."

I was really hurt by that line.But right now,I think I have to agree with that.

"There's no going back now huh."

After consuming the first cigar,I took the second one.I lit it with my lighter and took again one to two sips.

Then I looked at the sky.It was a starry night.The clouds are not really visible with this specific time so you can clearly see the stars.There are so many of them.

"My life was as hollow and empty as the spaces between stars."

After consuming all of the cigarette,I decided to go back inside to sleep.I slightly glanced to the wall clock.It was already twelve at midnight.Normally most people were already sleeping right now.In my case,I don't care about that.I already used to this.

I turn off the lights,turn on the electric fan and laid back to my bed.I cover myself with my small blanket.I immediately fall asleep,probably because of the beers I take.

I woke up for nothing.