Author's POV

Kylie was a normal, energetic, happy-go-lucky girl, but when she entered middle school, many things changed, her parents got divorced, she started feeling insecure about herself, and she was no more the "happy-go-lucky" child. She became the broken, depression, self harming, introverted girl.

Kylie's POV

The sound of the broken glass and my drunk parent's loud arguments could be heard in my room. The 11-year old me was sitting on my bed, sobbing trying to block away the loud voices of my parents. It's happening again, they're fighting again. I couldn't do anything except for sitting on my bed trying to sleep and run away from this. I was scared afraid. I closed my eyes, tried to sleep but then my mother yelled loudly, "OKAY FINE, I'M DONE WITH YOUR SHIT, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, I WANT A DIVORCE!". My father replied, "YEAH, IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYWAYS, I'LL BRING THE DIVORCE PAPERS TOMORROW EVENING". After hearing this my world shattered. How could they do this to me? Don't they every think about how I feel? I thought. I was confused, angry, hurt, broken, frustrated, betrayed and was feeling many unknown feelings. I was terrified. "Father won't live with us?" "They won't be together?" "We won't be a happy family anymore?" "Where did it gone wrong?" "Was it my mistake?" "Did I do something?" "Was is my fault?" "Could I do something?" These were the thoughts roaming in my mind. I couldn't help but blame myself.

There was a voice in my head thay kept telling my it was my fault. "It is all your fault!" "You are a mistake!" "If you weren't here, they would've not been fighting!" "They would be happy if you weren't here!" "They are fighting because of you!" 'You are a burden!" "It would've been better if you weren't born!", the voice said.

No! No! No! No! It's not true! It's not my fault! Or...Is...it? No! no! no! Of course it would be better that they divorced, it is not an healthy relationship anyway....right....? But the voice was stronger than me, it convinced me that it was my fault, I wished I was never born. All I felt was pain. I couldn't do anything about it.

● The Next day ●

The annoying sound of my alarm rang, My eyes slowly opened and I waited for them to adjust to the bright sunshine that entered through my window. "Was it all a dream?", I asked myself. I slowly got down from my bed and entered the bathroom and started to brush my teeth. "Was that all a really bad dream?" I thought. Once I finished brushing my teeth, I quickly ran down the stairs to the dining table where we all eat our breakfast together.

My father was sitting there reading his newspaper while my mother was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Everything was silent. The atmosphere in the room was extremely tense. I could feel it. "So it wasn't a bad dream huh?". I sat on the chair and quietly waited for my mom to serve me breakfast and tell me the "bad news". After a couple of minutes my mother arrived with my breakfast. Everyone was silent. Then my mother started, "Kylie, honey there is something we want to tell you." The mother and father looked at each other and nodded. "Honey, we are getting divorced", my father said. Did you hear that, it was the sound of my already broken heart breaking. I knew it. Still I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I started crying. It was too much for the 11-year old me. I couldn't handle it.

"Why don't you ever think about me? Huh? You both are always fighting, don't you ever think how this all is affecting me, you both are breaking me apart. This is all too much for me. I'm weak, I can't handle all of this. Please don't.", I wanted to say, but all I could say was, "It's ok, as long as you both are happy, I'm fine".

They both looked relieved. They told me that they would be splitting till the next month and i would have to live with my father for 3 days and with my mother for 4 days. They told me that they would not let it affect my childhood. But little did they know, they already did.....

Author's POV

It was Kylie's first day of 9th grade. It has been 3 years since her parents got divorced. Her life was a living hell, she didn't understand why life was this cruel with her.

Kylie's POV

*RINGGGGGGG* The ringing sound of my alarm woke me up from my dreams to the hellish reality. I layed in my bed not having the energy to move as my whole body was sore from last night's 5 hours workout. I also hadn't eaten enough since 3 days. Why you ask? It's because it is my first day for 9th class, and I wanted to look like a normal person. Over the time, I used my food as my coping mechanism which led me to gain a lot of weight. I was fat. Hell even a elephant would weight lesser than me. I wanted to be how I was 3 years ago. I used to be really skinny, but because of "that" incident, everything in my life was ruined. My mom and dad told me they would not let it affect me, So why the **** did it hurt so much? How did a go from a happy, energetic, playfull child to this? That's when my mom called me, "Kylie, come downstairs and have your breakfast!", she said. I got down from my bed went to the bathroom and did my stuff, wore my new uniform, got ready and got downstairs.

I was really very nervous. For 3 years I have been homeschooled, and after a really long time I'm going back to a public school. I'm not the extroverted girl anymore, I don't have the confidence used to have before. I had become really self conscious over the past 3 years. I've been really disappointed in myself. I used to be skinny, pretty, good in sports, studies and had a huge group of friends, heck you can even say that I was friends with the whole school. But now.......I'm a nobody....

"Honey, what are you thinking about? Have your breakfast! I'll be back in a minute.", she said. "Yeah mom", I replied. When she left I quickly threw more than half of my food in the dustbin and sat back. I left a few pieces in the plate so that I could show her that I ate. I've been doing this for a few days and I lost 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks, but it was not enough, I was still fat and I'll keep doing this until I'm at a "normal" weight.

My mom came back after some time and asked me, "Honey, how did you finish all this breakfast so quickly?" "I was just really hungry today, nothing much", I said. She looked at me suspiciously but let it slide. I sighed in relief. Thank God she didn't force me to finish it up. Or else I would've gained even more weight.

"Honey were going to be late! Come here fast!", she said. "Coming", I said. I got in the car and my mom started driving. Each second started to make me more and more nervous. I felt butterflies in my stomach, I felt dizzy and nauseous. I didn't want to go, But I had to, it's for my own good. After a couple of minutes my school arrived. It was a huge school, with many students rushing here and there. Seeing this made me even more self conscious. "Holy Shit What if I get a panic attack in front of the whole school?!" "What if I get bullied?" "What if people thought I was a weirdo?" "What if people found out about my depression and self harm?" "Will I have any friends?" "Are the teachers good or bad?" Several questions ran through my mind.

I released the breath I never knew I was holding. "Jesus, please protect me!"