The Sea Witch (Chat Ver.)
Who is Lavender Jade?
Lavender Jade
How many times over the years as I was growing up, did I look in the mirror and think...
Lavender Jade
Who am I really?!
Lavender Jade
If a member of the public asked me that question, then I would reply…
Lavender Jade
I am the Protector of The Sea Witch, the flagship vessel of The Jade Crusaders Guild.
Lavender Jade
However, if I'm being brutally honest, then I would give you a totally different answer.
Lavender Jade
I am a woman with a stupid name, which really doesn't suit me
Lavender Jade
I may be pretty enough, but I am a complete and utter tomboy
Lavender Jade
Who relies mostly on my skill with a blade and pistol to get by in life
Lavender Jade
Whilst every other flash bastard is throwing magic around
Lavender Jade
To make matters worse, I have no obvious, discernible talent for magic
Lavender Jade
In this world where having powerful magic is essential to rank up in caste
Lavender Jade
That's not to say that I don't have magic, I do...
Lavender Jade
Unfortunately it's not the kind you can mention in polite society
Lavender Jade
In fact, the only people who would boast about my kind of magic, are thieves and assassins
Lavender Jade
Neither of which are welcomed by said polite society
Lavender Jade
Unless it's behind closed doors, where no one can see, and it can remain a dirty little secret
Lavender Jade
A means to destroy your business competitors
Lavender Jade
Or remove an unfortunate heir that's in the way of your social mobility
Lavender Jade
Finally, the clincher is that I am a half elf
Lavender Jade
Which generally means that my ears are a little too pointy for most humans
Lavender Jade
And not fricking pointy enough for those snobby elves
Lavender Jade
Oh yeah, I forgot…
Lavender Jade
I have a temper, and I swear like a sailor too
Lavender Jade
This is what happens when your elven beauty Mother died before her time
Lavender Jade
And you are brought up by rough sailors, and even rougher mercenaries
Lavender Jade
So my romantic prospects are pretty much zero, zilch, zip, totally nada…
Lavender Jade
So why the hell have I suddenly become so popular?!
Lavender Jade
Okay, so not all the men suddenly chasing after me are interested in romance
Lavender Jade
In fact I'm pretty sure most of them are just trying to kill me…
Lavender Jade
But what is this precious gem of my Mother's that they seem to be looking for?
Lavender Jade
I always thought that her legacy to me was The Sea Witch?
Breaking the fourth wall...
Author (narrator)
So, won't you join Lavender on the high seas, as she sets sail on a journey of shadows and intrigue, stolen gems and corrupted gods
Author (narrator)
And you never know she might even get lucky, and get a boyfriend...
Author (narrator)
In between assassination attempts! 😁
Lavender Jade
Seriously, what's with the smiley face after giving out death threats 🤬
Author (narrator)
Nope... got nothin' to do with me 😇🥺 I'm innocent...
Lavender Jade
Yeah right, like I believe that! 🔪💀
Author (narrator)
Would it make you feel better if I told you the male lead is very handsome
Lavender Jade
Grr, if I have to go through all this hassle, he better be...
Lavender Jade has left the building
Author (narrator)
*coughs* I told the truth, however I may have forgotten to mention that I'm very fond of Unresolved Sexual Tension
Author (narrator)
There's also the fact that he doesn't even get mentioned until the sixth full chapter, and we have a bloody battle before they actually meet...
Author (narrator)
Ah well, what she doesn't know can't hurt her
Volume 1: A New Day, A New Adventure
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