Dear Diary this is Angel

The world is so harsh with its expectations to be the best. No room for failure. There are five stages to life in my book your born, go to school, get a job, retire, and die. You read and hear about how hard it is for a student in going through middle and high school,but not the hardships of afterwards.

Now we're do I go from here. I can't go back to school because I'm so poor I got nats coming from my wallet. So the only other option is to go get a job. You would think the easiest part in getting a job is the resume. At least writing your name is not that complicated. Writing down your skill set is the hard part. Unless your a narcissist,most people find it hard to find good in themselves.  

And keeping a job is even harder. That where the expectations come in to place. And when you can't fulfil them. You think of yourself as a failure. You start to become the failure.And no one wants a failure. 

Going through OVR is a big bust. You set up an appointment fill out all the paperwork for what to wait a year to fill out more paperwork. OVR has limited amount of funding from the state. They have a certain month when they start the new year. Get this the new year was July and then they said it is November. Besides OVR seems to only give out 5,000 if you plan on going back to school. Then they referred me to Virago another company that helps find a job. I thought that was OVR job,but I guess not. 

On the other end Virago helps to see what local jobs are there that you normally wouldn't have thought of. I'll give them that. After being accepted for them to provide their survive, you go to their office and take a survey. This helps them understand your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Off they go calling stores to see who would like or allow you to job shadow. So far I have been to two local owned flower shops. Today I went to Giant Eagle to stock shelves. Boring. I thought her job was to find a job that fits me. A job the I can't wait to go to work. A job that stimulates the mind. This lady doesn't know me, get me, to think is this want others think of me. Just a basic everyday stocker. I want more than just a regular minimum wage job that anyone can do. I want my dream job,but life just doesn't work like that.

At the end of the day I lay down in bed staring at the ceiling, Wondering is this it was I meant to be a good for nothing bum to my family and myself or do I settle for less a follower. I want to be a person that inspires,moves the hearts of millions, something that makes me happy and proud of my work. But that life won't be in my life time,at least as long as I stay the way I am.   

Dear Diary this is Luna it's me again 

Why is is that people always want more. A person's expectations are almost always set high. It's that time of season again fall is coming. Today with my grandparents we went to Copper's farm for their first day of fall fest. Boy was that a rip off. People say you have to travel to get anything good but that's a lie.

At Coppers Farm it looks like they didn't even grow their own produce. For a locally grown produce shop all their product was in crates, from their apples to their pumpkins this year. To think twenty dollars for a medium size pumpkin but outside grocery stores like their five dollars for the same size. People were actually filling up their wagons to buy. At Walmart pumpkins are only three dollars. For a gallon of apple cider that was not homemade by the way was five dollars. The sad part was that they took the label off the bottles to try and fool people a first glance. They had it where you could have a cup of apple cider for fifty cents. We each got a cup. My grandma liked it,but I found the unknown brand they used to be a little too sweet for my taste.

The weather called for showers at three but God had other plans. After leaving Copper's we headed back into town to grab a bite to eat at Hoss's. We just made in time for the lunch buffet which is a dollar cheaper. YAY! The food was good, nothing to complain  about. For me to say something positive is a surprise for the better. 

In town they were having a Relay for Life Car Show in the park. Like the dum dums we are, we didn't even think that there might be food for sale. At the park there was about two dozen cars which is better than nothing. Maybe it was the weather forecast that scared them away or that there was one the day before at the Harley Davidson Shop. They also had a chinese auction too. They prizes weren't the best, especially because it was all cheap tool kits, so we didn't buy any tickets. I'm sure all these old guys have every single tool ever made and more. Plus they're to elderly to be getting under a car at their age. Before the event was over we left, we saw what we wanted to. At least it was cheaper than Copper's Farm.

It was an ok day with my grandparents. To find actives to attend in this town and the surrounding ones for people my age is none accident. Everyone has heard of a ghost town but we have a ghost mall. It has room to fit 72 shops but all that there is a dozen stores. Locally owned store fronts downtown have more than then the mall. To bad there all clothing stores or is it, seeing a girl can never have too many clothes.