He didn't want to be here, and he'd told his parents that, but they insisted that playing outside wasn't an option during a party they threw. "You dont want to end up looking like a pale egg, do you, Gaby?" His mother had so lovingly asked as she raised an egg in front of him, before cracking it into a bowl of pancake batter that morning. He'd turned to his father for support, only to find him nodding along to her words.

"I don't want to stay here," he muttered under his breath as he slashed into the water again. He looked at his parents, hoping it had gotten their attention, but they were busy talking to other grown-ups from around the neighbourhood. He pouted again and kicked the water.

This time, his father turned around.  

Mr Kins' eyes softened at the boy, his spitting image. He whispered something to his wife, before making his way over. "Hey, Gaby."

"I don't want to be here, Dad," Gabriel whined.

"I know, but you know how your mom is," Arnold sighed as he slipped off his sandals, squatted and trembled slightly as his legs sunk under the surface before he sat down next to his son.

"Loud?"

Arnold sputtered and glanced around. "Where did you hear that?" He whispered, though no one was around them. The adults stood chatting by the buffet of summer treats, while a few kids ran around the other edge of the pool, laughing and shouting. Gabriel only shrugged. "Ok,  but don't tell anyone that. It's our little secret," Arnold chuckled and winked.

A shrill cry diverted their attention to the children that ran around with water balloons filled with pool water. One girl, with tight beaded cornrows on her hair, ran to the edge and jumped high. "Cannonball!" She shouted before splashing so hard that water sprayed Gabriel's arm from the other far edge. She soaked the adults behind her, and the children cheered. Arnold nudged his son's shoulder.

"Do you know her? She looks around your age."

"Yeah. That's Lydia. She's in Mr Gold's class. She likes painting her nails like Mom, but she plays soccer, so she paints her nails again every Monday."

"Oh, is she your friend?"

"No." Arnold chuckled at his flat answer. Lydia's head bobbed above the surface and cheered along with the other kids, her voice highest.

"Again! Again!"

Gabriel frowned and he looked straight at his father's slate-grey eyes.

"She's loud."

Arnold snorted and burst into laughter as Gabriel looked on, confused. He heaved and fanned himself using his son's hat before he set it back on his head.

"Seriously, that caught me off-guard...Fine, if you don't want to play with her... But, try and swim around, to cool yourself down." He looked around and smiled. "I need to go help your mother before she explodes... Even though it's my party." He glanced at his son. "It's your party too."

"Mine?"

"Yeah! Remember that big building I showed you? The one I told you to stay away from at night? It'll be yours one day, so, this is your party too." His smile softened as he stared at Gabriel's little knees and feet kicking into the water. "Can't believe a decade passed... Didn't think it'd last this long, especially with you on the way..." He looked up to the seven-year-old's big pretty eyes, wide with wonder.

"Really?"

"Yeah! But you have to keep being the good kid you are, alright?" Gabriel nodded, the big summer hat bobbing on his forehead. "That's my boy!" He attacked the boy with tickles, and for the first time that morning, Gabriel laughed.

After his father ran off to the backdoor entrance by his mother's side, Gabriel remained seated, a smile on his chubby face as he played with the water. It no longer mattered that the music on the speakers wasn't his favourite, nor that the children flooded the only end of the pool that he could swim in.

All of it was his.

"Mine." He giggled at the word.

            Gabriel walked out of their kitchen onto the backyard, licking his hand of the ice pop that melted down his arm, but then he stopped halfway to his spot.

Two kids sat there; Lydia and a boy he recognised as part of her team. They splashed water on each other, kicking at each other's legs.

Gabriel stood rooted in place.

That was his spot. How dare they sit in the spot he and his father just sat? Other kids ran over; first one, then three more.

Go away! He yelled in his head, but his mouth dried. How could he tell them? Would they listen? What if they hated him? What if they hit him? He'd seen it happen with the older kids, the ones that told their bullies off to teachers. They got beat up at the playground all the time.

Confusion, rage and fear boiled up inside him until tears streamed down his pouting face. Mom, dad... He looked around but they weren't there.

Alone.

He loved being alone, but not now. Not here.

Anger took over and he wiped at his cheeks with sticky fists.

Mom said I should take what's mine. And that spot is mine.

He took a deep breath, puffed out his chest, and took long strides, as he'd seen his father take in his fancy suits when he visited his office.

"...is mine." His mumbling made them look up. His heart raced.

"What?" Lydia asked.

"Th-that spot is mine!" He said, a little louder than he intended, but when the words escaped him, his face beamed with satisfaction. I said it! I told them!

"How do you know?" The boy beside her stood. "I don't see your name here." His hair a mop of tight black curls made him look taller than he was, and he spoke with a hint of an accent.

"Yeah." Another kid came up from behind. "Prove it."

Gabriel gulped hard.

"I- I sat there before!" He squeaked.

"I didn't see anyone here. Did you, Lydia?" The curly-haired boy taunted as he came closer. Lydia shook her head as she joined him.

"But it's mine! I sat there!" The foundation beneath Gabriel crumbled, and tears stung his eyes as the kids surrounded him, all eyeing him with sneers and wide expressions.

His gut twisted in fear, gut-wrenching fear that made his body tremble.

"I sat there too!"

"Me too!"

"Same!" The kids burst into laughter, and one kid snatched his hat.

Lydia. Loud Lydia.

A tall girl, the tallest in the group, towering over Gabriel.

"Hey, that's mine!"

"I don't see a name!" Lydia taunted and laughed as she held it above her head.

"Give it back!"

"Take it!" The curly-haired boy took it and held it above his head as well. Gabriel pouted, tears washing over his cheeks. His fear got replaced by a pure rage so strong his cheeks turned red.

"Give it back! Go away! I don't like you! You're loud! I'm telling dad! It's mine! He said it's mine! Everything is mine, so go away!" He huffed after the outburst, his fists burning, but only when the blood stopped thudding in his ears, did he notice the silence around him.

"Gabriel?" Lydia spoke up, a deep frown over her dark doe eyes. At the mention of his name, he spooked, and his breath got heavier. Either the hot summer sun or the deep breaths made his head spin.

Mom... Dad...

He turned to run but a hand caught him. He screamed and whipped around to Lydia.

"Are you Gabriel?" Trembling, he nodded.

"What?" A kid in the small crowd, his skin covered in freckles, exclaimed.

"This is the rich kid Mom talked about?" Another asked.

"He looks like a wimp." Someone laughed and the others joined in, but Lydia and the curly-haired boy just stared at each other, then turned back to him.

Gabriel reached for his face and watched the tears drip down his face. It's because I'm crying. They called me a wimp because I'm crying. The revelation shook him and he wiped his face furiously.

"Let's go, guys." Lydia let go and sighed. "He's right, it's his spot." Mumbles waved through the crowd.

"Stuck up."

"Selfish."

They trudged away, and someone bumped into him, but he didn't fall over. As he watched them leave, satisfaction filled him in place of the dread of the name. He smiled and giggled.

They left.

He got what was his.

Mom would be proud of him.

He smiled as he squatted at the pool's edge, but when he looked into the water, another reflection stared from behind him.

He whipped around, stumbling over the edge and into the water.

The sudden rush of cold shocked him and he gasped, taking in a mouthful of water. His feet struggled to find the bottom, but he couldn't.

It was the deep end.

His panic increased tenfold. He hadn't taken wading classes yet.

He flapped around, gasping. From a distance, above the bubbling and gurgling in his ears, he heard a scream and another splash nearby.

The water swallowed him, and his limbs got tired, unable to flap around anymore. His throat burned, but then arms wrapped around his stomach from behind.

Small but strong.

Light flashed in his eyes before he submerged again, but the arms never let go. He opened his mouth to scream, and swallowed another mouthful of water.

Warmth washed over his body, hot concrete on his back. It shocked his body awake and his eyes shot open to the blinding sun before he turned on his stomach and coughed so hard he thought his chest would burst. When his eyes came to focus, the curly-haired boy sat in front of him, both of them surrounded by people. He too panted and heaved, water dripping over his shaking body. A blanket wrapped around Gabriel's shoulders before he could speak and his mother squeezed his face into her bosom.

"Gaby! Oh, my baby!" She grabbed his face and kissed him over and over before tightening her grip on him. Her long dark hair tickled his cheek along with her laboured breath and he heard her fast heartbeat in his ear.

"Why did you jump in? You know you can't swim in the deep end!"

"I-" he croaked and coughed. "I fell in-"

"You want to scare me? Is that it?"

"No, I- I didn't-"

"Arnold! Where is that towel?!" Gabriel opened his mouth again but coughed hard.

Loud.

He sunk into her arms and glanced over at the other boy, who was also covered up in a man and woman's embrace and their eyes met. Brown, almost golden in the sun, stared into slate grey. Until a towel covered Gabriel's face and his mother rubbed the cotton roughly into his scalp.

           He didn't want to, but his mother told him to, so he couldn't disobey. Gabriel flinched when the boy looked up from the bench, but he steeled himself and sat beside him, fiddling with his light cotton sleeves. Maybe because it was his father's, but he had a bit more courage. Even though he looked ridiculous in boxer shorts and an oversized button-up shirt. His sun hat flicked dry, sat on his head, low over his face.

The boy still had a soft blanket around his shoulders, but his trunks were new and dry.

Their feet hang over the edge inches from the ground. Gabriel swung his feet, and the boy joined in silence. He swung faster, and the boy matched his pace but then sneezed and went out of sync. Gabriel giggled and the boy looked up.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Yeah." The boy blinked and looked back down. "Mom said you jumped in to help after I fell in the pool... Thanks." At that, the boy's ears turned a bright red, and Gabriel stared. "Your ears are a funny colour!" He laughed and the boy frowned and hid his ears in his blanket.

"No, they're not!"

"Yeah, they are!" Gabriel pulled the blanket off his hair, where damp curls hung over his forehead. "See?" A moment of silent stares passed over them before the boy tightened his grip on the fabric.

"I'm sorry I scared you and you fell into the pool. I just wanted to say hi... And sorry for taking your hat."

"You were loud... I don't like loud people."

"Sorry."

"And you were mean."

"I said I'm sorry!" Gabriel covered his ears, and the boy retreated into his blanket again. "Sorry... Are you done?"

Gabriel smiled. He was scary before, but he looked nice now. Maybe he was wrong about the boy.

"I'm Justin."

"Justin." He rolled the name over his tongue, again and again, until Justin gave him a squint-eye look.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"That."

"... I don't get it." Justin's stone face melted, and he chuckled. When he did, his face lit up, and his olive cheeks puffed up and shone.

"So, are we amigos now?" Justin asked with a grin.

"Amigos?"

" Sí! I told you my name, and I know yours... And I said I'm sorry for everything. That means we're friends, right?"

"That's how it happens?"

"Sí!" Justin turned around, fully facing Gabriel, and took both his hands. "Now we're friends!" Gabriel stared at Justin, at his hands, and back. His hands were tough for his age, his nails short and chewed. For the soccer goalie to have tough hands was fine, but his nails looked weird. Gabriel wanted to tear his hands away, but then Justin's grinning face made him rethink it.

A friend.

His first friend.

He grinned back, his heart thudding with excitement.

"Okay!"

I spun the bottle with a good twist of my wrist. As it whirled, I glanced around the room for my next prey. If it landed on Lydia, truth would be best. We've got to know if she and her 'Sweet Danny', as she called him, took the next step during the last class trip to the beach, but if it landed on Ray, though, a dare would suffice. He has to have a loud bone in his body. Our eyes met. He blinked and turned back to the punch cocktail in his hand. Target locked, I smirked. The glass bottle slowed, and we held our breaths. It clinked against the table and stopped. Suren whooped and Lydia giggled. A pit of dread dug into my gut. "Alrighty then!" Lydia stretched her fingers and lay against Daniel's shoulder, crossing her legs like a boss. She smiled and eyed me. "I'll go. Truth or dare." Revealing secrets was a no-no, and I'm too lazy to lie. It's best to get over it.

"Dare." 

Their grins widened, and I heard the gears in their minds turning, ready to torture me. I steeled myself against the dread and lay in the armchair to hide my nerves. "Better be doable or I'm pulling out."

"Oh, it's doable alright," Suren said with a smile as he supported his chin. His dark eyes flickered with mischief that made my hair stand on end. Suren's dares were always outrageous. I've gone commando tens of times, and I once streaked at a party. Punched a teacher or two as well. What's the worst he could do? "I dare you to... Kiss your best friend in front of the entire school at the Senior's Ceremony. Nice and deep." The emphasis on the last words froze whoever didn't gasp. Ray turned to me, hazel eyes wide as saucers, and I returned his gaze.

"Wh-what?" I frowned. "But I'm straight."

"I know."

"Justin is too."

"I didn't say he wasn't." My jaw clenched. Kiss another guy? It happened but putting myself in that situation... And in front of the entire school, no less?

"I can't do that-"

"Seven thousand." I gripped my seat. Even Lydia sat up and Sarah, Suren's twin, choked on her drink. That's 2k more than usual. I'm saving up for a new Mac after the last one broke; he knew, yet he pushed my buttons.

"Hey, Suren. Isn't that too much?" Lydia asked with an uneasy laugh. "I mean, even the dare itself, not saying I don't wanna see it, but still!"

"Yeah," Ray spoke, his mouth twisting in a wry smile. "Lay off a little. Gabe, you don't need to do this. I'll pay."

"Nope!" Suren said. He sat back on the sofa, arms over the backrest, grinning like a cat on catnip. "His dare, his pocket. Gabriel, what do you say?" Ray was right; I didn't have to. But everyone's watching. I thanked the heavens that Justin backed out of this. Otherwise, it would have happened right here. I could imagine the tongues flaring if I gave up that 7k. Why did he refuse it so hard? Is he hiding something? Losing that much would set me back by months, and I'd work double shifts at the diner to earn it all back. I sighed into my hands. It's fine, Gabriel. It's just a kiss, one stupid kiss. No strings attached. 

"I have a wager," I said as I looked up. "Not in front of the school, and I'll give you 2k." 

"Gabe!"

"You're okay with this?!" Lydia asked.

"No, but anything to wipe that stupid smirk off his face," I said and eyed Suren when he chuckled.

"Ok, deal." 

The game went on, but I remained distracted as I replayed the scene over and over in my head. I couldn't take it, the eyes glancing at me when I gave up spinning the bottle again, the tease in Suren's eyes. "Bathroom break," I said as I left the table, finally getting away from the self-declared torture master's smirk.

"Gabe?" I looked up from the sink and saw Ray in the mirror. His face was stony, but his eyes betrayed him. "You're sure about this?" I frowned at the question. Why sound like you don't believe me? I wanted to ask, but then he pulled out his wallet. "Look, if you don't want to, take this, tell them you changed your mind and give it to that crackhead." I stared at the cash in his hand and scoffed, then took the bills and stuffed them in his pocket.

"Don't think I can't pay for myself. Appreciate the effort, but I got no choice."

"You do!" The snap caught me off guard. So he can be loud. I thought over his words and shook my head. Changing my mind so suddenly was just too embarrassing, and if I took that money, I'd owe him a debt. 

I hate debts.

His brows crashed together from under his mop of coppery hair, the first bit of emotion on his face since the party started. "Fine. Die with that ego of yours, why don't ya!" He said and stormed out of the bathroom, shutting the door with a bang. Weird, I thought, then shrugged; Raymar's always been a miasma of whatever. No one ever knows what goes through his brain with the face he always pulls.

          I'd never dreaded Mondays like I did this one. My feet dragged my body from bed to school, up to my locker, where I banged my head against the metal. Why did I accept? Come on, Gabriel, it's just one little kiss. Won't mean anything- "Gabriel!" I jumped at the call. He approached from the doors, adjusting his bag over his shoulder, his black curls bouncing over his forehead at the speed he walked with. His smile was wide, as it always was, accentuating the smooth lines of his face and the dark brown eyes thinning under the grin. "I finally caught up. No thanks to you." He then smacked the back of my head.

"What was that for?"

"You weren't home when I came over. Made me waste time waiting for ya," he said as he opened his locker right next to mine. "What gives?"

"Uh, I-"I couldn't say it scared me he'd sense my intention, so I bowed my head and gathered my books. Even then, Justin's eyes followed my every move with that slight frown he got when something frustrated him. Suddenly, he grabbed my shoulder.

"Is something up, Gabriel?"

"No, why?" I spun around and raised a brow. A failed attempt at looking nonchalant. He tapped my cheek.

"Dark circles. That's not good."

"Oh, that! Just had a bit more than usual last night, so I'm nursing a hangover." This was half true since I couldn't think sober after that dare. Justin massaged his nose bridge and pursed his lips. My eyes dropped there. The girls he hooked up with said his kisses were gentle and perfect, whatever that meant. What would he taste like, maybe what he just ate? Then we should get ice cream or fried chicken.

"Why would you drink on a school night, dimwit? You got a fail wish?" His voice brought me back and, ashamed, I turned away. My eyes darted to the ground, searching for a lie, any lie when I spied Suren and Ray not far off. Suren smirked and did a kissy face that made my stomach tumble. No. Man up, Gabriel. He's your best friend; he'll understand when you explain everything as a silly prank. I took a deep breath and felt my confidence return. It's not such a big deal after all. I mastered a smile to ease his concern and leant against the locker. 

"Hey, Justin, funny story. Last night-" The bell cut me short. Geography, and with that old boy who had our skin for breakfast if you're late. "Ah, shit! Look, I'll see you over lunch; gotta scram!"

"Oi, wait!" He called, but I dashed off.

                 It was meatball Monday, so I sat at our usual table with a plate of rice and meatballs and a juice box. No one knew what exactly made up the meatballs, but it was delicious, so no one questioned. Suren and Sandra were beside me on one side, and Lydia, Daniel, and Ray are opposite. I searched the hall for a certain golden goose who I'd saved a spot for. "Justin's not with you?" Lydia asked.

"Obviously." 

"Chill out, dude," Suren raised a brow and winked. "Impatient much?"

"Oh, sock it!" Just then, my phone dinged on the table. I put it to my ear. "Where are ya?"

"That's what I wanted to tell you before you went all Sonic on me," Justin sighed on the other line. "I've got music practice, so I can't make it." A paperweight dropped into my gut, sending a ripple of disappointment through me. Right, finals. Right around the corner, next year, it would all be over. Would we keep in touch after that? I smiled to myself. Of course! We've known each other since second grade! "Save me a meatball, though!"

"Like hell, I will," I said and hang up. 

"Ohhh, that smile, was it him?" Suren asked, peeking at the screen. I pocketed the phone.

"Why do you care?"

"I'm your friend!"

"You're ruining my life."

"That's what friends are for!" He said and slapped my back. I swung an elbow at his gut so hard he keeled over. Sandra chuckled but stopped at a glare from her brother. "Anyway, when are you gonna do it?" I stared at the phone for a moment.

"This evening." Cutlery clinked against the plate, and we all looked up at Ray, whose forkful of spaghetti splattered onto his plate. Something flashed in his eyes, but he regained himself in a second. He blinked. 

"What?" He asked. "Why're you all staring?"

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No, I thought I saw something in my food." Daniel's face paled as he stared at his plate of spaghetti. In the short time I'd known him, I made note of the way he always tied his cuffs and ironed his shirts, and gathered that he was a clean freak. Lydia rubbed his back.

"You're... joking, right?" Ray only glanced at him, pushed the plate aside and reached for his milk. 

"I dunno," Sandra said, picking at her homemade lunchbox. "You can't trust schools these days." Daniel's face darkened to a vile green, and he held his mouth.

"Don't listen to them, Danny. They're just scaring you," Lydia said, frowning at Ray, but her encouragement did nothing.

"Babe, I think I'm gonna hurl-"

"Oi, Oi! Enough of that!" Suren glanced at Ray's plate, nose twisted, face betraying his words. I shrugged and went on eating. As long as I'm full.

After lunch, I took a quick bathroom break, and as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I tried to see myself do it. Take Justin's hand, and kiss Justin's lips, but the image was too hard to conjure. But it can't be that hard, I encouraged myself. It's like kissing a girl, just that the gender changed. With this thought, I tried again, but still nothing. I groaned into my hands. This is pointless; let's finish it, the quicker the better. I pulled out my phone and rang. He picked on the second ring.

"You're quick. I thought you were practising," I said, not hiding the tease in my voice. He clicked.

"I'm on break. It's about to end, so this better be important."

"Meet me at the old junkyard after school." He paused.

"Why?" He asked in a low apprehensive voice. 

"Just be there. I'll explain." The next pause was longer.

"Okay, but-"

"Just show your face. No questions asked." I took a breath and gulped. "Please?" That's a word I rarely used, but in this situation, I had to. If it's for Justin, I'm okay with it.

"Fine. I'll be there."

When he hung up, I stared at the man in the mirror. The man that would kiss his best friend and lose two thousand in a few hours. I smiled to encourage myself; what's the worst that would happen? He's your best friend. He'll understand.

He always does.

                 The old junkyard was a scrap metal park a block away from the school buildings. We collected them from a flood that came back when I was in 8th grade. After that, the government sort of forgot to clear the place and left the metal to rust in the rain. The school complained but gave up after nothing happened. As long as the water sources in the system were alright, no one cared. They deserted the place, save for the raving night parties. Justin and I walked in silence and made our way through the chained wire gate by a space between the two bars. He stopped and turned to me. "Gabriel, you're seriously freaking me out. What's going on?" I stopped in my tracks. Now? No, he might run.

"I can't say."

"Why?" He looked around the silent hills of rusting metal and leaned in close, his voice but a whisper. "Are you a druggie?"

"No!"

"You owe someone money?"

"Well, sort of."

"That you spent on drugs." 

"What part of me looks like a druggie?" I stepped back a bit to get away from his scent. It hit me harder than usual today. His eyes skimmed over me as he wore a look of ignorance.

"I dunno; the parties, the drinking, that time you said pot was great-"

"That was one time! And I felt terrible afterwards, so I haven't smoked another joint since. Pinky swear!" I raised my pinky for emphasis, and he snorted, then burst into laughter. His face shone in the evening sun as he pushed his curls back. No wonder so many girls went crazy after him; with that face and his personality, he should have the angel's name, not me. I shook off the thought. "I just need you to do me a little favour, otherwise it'll shatter my dreams."

"Damn, that serious?" I nodded solemnly and walked on, as he jogged to keep pace.

We stopped at a clearing in the middle of the yard. As soon as I looked around, my phone rang. Suren. "We see you," he said in a sing-song voice.

"Where are you?"

"Out of sight, but we can see everything from here." I eyed the crevices and high-rising pile of junk but saw no one other than Justin shifting on his feet, hands in his jeans.

"Who's with you?"

"Lydia, Ray and Daniel; said he was interested. Sandra's home, as usual."

"As should you?" I hissed back.

"Oh, pooh, just do it already. And remember, nice and deep." He grinned as he said the last words before hanging up. 

"Who was that, your supplier?" Justin asked with a smirk. I sighed and run my hand through my dark tousled hair, then down my face. It's now or never. My heart thudded and my palms clammed up. To walk off the butterflies, I took our bags and placed them against a heap of car doors. "Gabriel?"

"I need to do this," I said half to myself as I turned back to him. "Please hold nothing against me." As I spoke, my breaths laboured. I can't say it did not excite me, though it wasn't on my bucket list. I stepped towards him and he stepped back, so I grabbed his hand. He stared at our hands, then at me, and his brown eyes trembled.

"Gabriel?" His voice was a high whisper. "What's going on with you?" I rubbed his knuckles to calm him, but I was calming myself. Strong hands, roughened by plucking at strings all day, then traced up his olive skin and toned arms. By this time, the thudding in my chest was so loud that I couldn't think straight; like a generator in my ears. I'd never been this excited, not even for my first kiss ever. I closed the distance between us and run my hands over his neck.

"Just bear with me."

"Wait-"

I cupped his cheeks and pulled him to my lips. I expected anything, a backlash, disgust, horror that would scare me stiff, anything, but it never came. Instead, a wave coursed through me that gave me goosebumps. It shocked through my body, to my feet and back. It was... thrilling. His hands balled up my T-shirt on my chest, and mine ran through his soft black curls. More, I kissed him again, more! I tugged at his soft lip and a sound escaped; small, strong... cute. I'd never heard it. It sent that wave again, electrifying, through me and my hands roamed the gentle curve of his back, searching for the sound again. I pulled away, and he gasped for air, and then I caught the look in his eyes. They trembled with something, not fear, no hatred, but something alien. And his ears flushed red, prominent against his olive skin.

It came so fast, even if I'd seen it a split second before, it wasn't enough. 

One second, he was in my arms, the next, I stumbled back with a throbbing jaw from his right hook. When I looked up again, he was panting, his fist ready for a second strike, though his body shook vigorously. His lips pulled tight, then he lowered his hand. Wordlessly, he strode to the bags and picked his bag. Icy dread replaced the warmth of the wave. "Justin?" He didn't respond, but pulled the bag over his shoulder and walked to the entrance. "Justin, wait! I can explain-" When I grabbed his arm, he jumped back as if my hands were hot iron. This cut me, and hurt more than my nose bridge. He backed off, eyes downcast, then speed-walked away. "Justin... Justin! It was just a game, I swear! I- I didn't mean to-!" He broke into a run, past the gate, without a glance back. The taste in my mouth was coppery. I watched the backpack bouncing on his back, waited for him to turn back, to listen. My brain urged me to run, but my feet remained rooted to the spot.

"Gabe?" I didn't hear Lydia until she was right in front of me. Until she winced at the sight of my face. I turned to her, but she blurred in my eyes, and so did whoever came up behind her.

"Yeesh! That's a pretty sweet punch- oof!" Daniel said, by the nudge she gave him.

"Happy now, Suren? Look at his face, all because of your stupid game, so I bet you're having a whale of a time!" Lydia snapped over my shoulder.

"That's enough, guys." An unfamiliar voice said. "He doesn't need this right now. Dan, take Lydia home before she rips someone's head off. I'll treat him." A hand took mine, and suddenly, as if by magic, my feet moved. When I came to, my feet dangled over the bed in the infirmary. A figure stood silhouetted against the sun's golden rays in the window, reaching into an enormous wardrobe. Only when the lean figure approached, with his mop of copper hair over his brow and a first aid kit in his hands, and hopped up beside me, I recognised him. "Are you okay?" I nodded. He reached for a cotton swab in the box. "Sorry about Justin. He's probably in shock; he'll come around... This might hurt a bit." Ray began dabbing at my nose and cheek. I winced but shut my eyes to lock on the pain. "But that shouldn't justify what he did. He should've listened. If he hadn't run off like that..." 

"He's in shock." I squinted at his round hazel eyes and saw a deep frown under his hair and tight, drawn lips. Another rare sight of emotion from Raymar Wesley.

"He's your best friend, so of course, you'll shock him more down the line. I would've understood if you explained because there has to be a reasonable explanation..." He stopped dabbing and looked straight at me, eyes searching mine. "You don't like him, do you?" The question took me by surprise, and I frowned back. 

"Did I look like I did?" His face hardened again and he pressed band-aids on my face. 

"It's late. Let's go before the guards lock up." He rose with the kit and drew the curtains. Cool-faced Ray was back. As I watched him put everything back, something hit me. 

"Wait, I thought you did music too." He froze and turned to me. After a few blinks, he shut the wardrobe.

"Yeah, but I already practised my percussion, so I had time for lunch."

"So, you knew he wasn't coming?" He shrugged.

"How would I know? We don't talk that much, and I'm in a different field. I play the drums." He walked past me and held the door open. I guess that's my cue to shut up.

Day after day, I tried to approach him, but he blew me off. His calls were brief and to the point until they disappeared altogether. He stopped picking me up at my house, and when we met in the school hall, he replied to my enthusiastic, 'good morning' with a curt nod. Within a week, he'd moved his locker to the other end of the hall. It didn't help that we only had math and chemistry classes together, and when we did, he arrived early and got a seat away from me.

I was slowly losing my best friend.

           Two weeks after the junkyard incident, I tossed and turned in bed like a roasting pig. This cold shoulder treatment was killing me. If I'd told him earlier on... If we'd only pretended to do it because I'm sure those idiots weren't close enough to see every detail... Why did I do it? I stared at the wall as if it would answer my silent question. My hand rose to my lips. I can't deny it was good; shockingly good. The rumours were right; they were soft a baby's. If given the chance, would I do it again..? No! I buried my face in the pillows and groaned. Why would you even think that?! "A distraction..." I reached for my Mac and placed it on my lap. Suren refunded the money with an extra 1k as payment for ruining my face and mood. I scrolled through the contacts. Lydia loves her beauty sleep, and I have nothing in common with Daniel. Most were mutual friends and photography club members. Suren's a no, and I doubt Justin would respond if he saw my name. Raymar was at the bottom. Since the incident, we spoke little, but he'd glance my way as if sending brainwaves of feel-good hormones. At least, I think they were. I steeled myself and sent a simple,

-You awake?

-Yeah.

I froze. Such a quick answer. I hovered over the keyboard.

-What're you doing up? It's 2 am.

-Right back at ya. I'm playing something. You?

-Can't sleep.

A long pause.

-Is it about Justin?

-Yup. 

Another long pause. Maybe I'm just burdening him with my problems. 

-Why is it bothering you?

-Because he's my best friend. I can't lose him like that.

-What kind of best friend doesn't listen?

-He's still in shock, you said it yourself.

Do you think an apology will make him feel better?

My jaw tightened. I couldn't imagine him snapping back since he didn't look like he had a single harsh bone in his body, but I could tell by the tone. What's up with him? Making my worry look insignificant and stupid.

-What's your deal? Even if it doesn't, what's it for you?

The pause was longer this time. I hoped he went into a rage and smashed through his keyboard while he typed something else to snap at me with. How dare he! With that face and quiet personality, you'd never think his mouth was that foul. 

-Fine then. With that much worry, why don't you do it? I dare you. This Friday is the Senior's Ceremony, and the music students are performing an orchestral, right? Who's the chief photographer?

I frowned at the screen. It stunk of a trap, but if I gave up, it'd hurt my pride.

-I am.

-You have backstage passes for that?

-Yeah?

-Then meet him and explain everything. Tell him it was all a game, and it meant nothing, then tell me how it works out. If it does, I owe you one.

-What do you get if it doesn't?

-We'll cross that bridge when we get there. G'night.

The curt way he ended the conversation didn't sit right with me, and neither did the debt, but it lit a fire in me. I'd prove him wrong, then demand headphones. An Mp3 player? Or the video game that just came out. Or a lifetime supply of pudding. I smiled as I slipped into bed. Yeah, maybe that.

              Despite the stress of finals the next week, the school was buzzing with activity. With the seniors preparing for their SATs, we juniors did everything. Programmes, schedules and duties per class. Somehow, our heads didn't explode. That Friday, I woke with a belly full of flames. I'd prove Raymar wrong, even if I had to drag him with me or videotape the thing. Using my camera as leverage, I passed by other music students carrying their equipment to the hall with a nod. Neither Ray nor Justin came through. Good, the more privacy, the better. I walked down the paths, up the stairs of the Technical building and to the Music room. The times I picked him up was uncountable, with the way he always got lost in practice. The entire hallway, no, the entire floor, was empty and the creak of hinges echoed around before I arrived.

            Justin opened the last window, then opened his violin case. He set up the sheets against the piano and took a deep breath as he placed the violin between his shoulder and chin, his face focused. He'd worn that uniform I always saw at the back of his closet; a blazer with our school crest, a crisp white shirt and tie, and pressed black slacks. I'd always joked about how he looked like some spoilt rich kid in it, but now, it fit him like a glove. A breath later, he pulled on the strings. The first note blocked all thought. My breath caught for a moment, suddenly too loud for the violin's cry, such that all I heard was its wail. It tugged at my chest and threatened to yank out my heart until a lump rose in my throat. So sad. The late morning breeze billowed around him, trembled in the drawn curtains, carried the surrounding music, and enveloped him in his world.

I wanted a part of it.

If only a little.

My hands moved on their own, and the shutter clicked. The bow slipped against the violin that shrieked a sour note. The spell broke and our eyes met. He released an audible and hidden gasp.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" I said with a nervous chuckle. He blinked.

"A little." He put his violin back on the case. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm in charge of photography." I raised the camera as proof. He nodded. Silence prevailed, pregnant with tension so thick, only filled with the shifting of sheets as he placed them in his case. I swallowed hard. "I- I also want to talk." He paused, then shut his case and slung it over his chest. I grabbed his arm as he rushed past me. "Justin! You can't keep this up!"

"Gabriel," he glanced over his shoulder. "Let go."

"How long will you not listen to me? Just let me explain, please." Slowly, I felt the tense muscle of his wrist relax, and so did the nerves in my chest. "You know it meant nothing, right? It was just a silly game, so, I don't know why-" A distant bell honk interrupted me, and he yanked his hand away.

"I'm running late. Let's talk later." Right, the orchestral. I drew back.

"I'll wait." He rushed out without a reassuring nod or a glance at me.

              From my vantage point upstairs, I had a complete view of the enormous hall, where everyone had gathered on their folded chairs before the raised stage, where the entire Junior and senior music class sat with their instruments and uniforms. Justin sat in the front row, opposite the cello guys, and I spotted Raymar's mop of hair between two seniors in the back, with their plethora of drums. He kept twirling the drumsticks in his fingers, head low as the seniors talked above his head. After the principal's brief speech, where he kept glancing at me to take his photos, even though my other club members were everywhere in the hall, the conductor took centre stage. She raised her arms, and music silenced the murmurs from the students. It began quietly, like the teasing of a breeze up your back, then rose into a full-on storm, only to calm again. The music told a story of nostalgic memories you don't know you had as if you're a child watching cartoons all over again. Then Justin stood and began the first notes of what I'd heard in the music room, with the rest acting as his background. As before, it tugged at my chest, and drew me in so much that the surrounding rest disappeared, until he alone was on stage. With his concentration and tightly drawn lips, I noticed he didn't need the sheets. It was inside him, the cry of the violin, his cry. What he cried for, I knew not, but I wanted to reach out, grab him, and wipe the tears away. A strong, silent cry. Then the orchestra joined in once more, and the spell faltered. I took in a gasp of air, realising my thoughts as if for the first time, and raised the camera. Focus, Gabe, just focus. I thought, trying to calm my racing heart.

                I made up an excuse to leave the group heading to the cafeteria, dropped off my camera in the clubroom and raced to the music room. It didn't matter if I missed Free Fries Friday, those crunchy fries that I raced for on a normal day; I had to speak with Justin before he ran off on me again. I met his classmates when I peeked into his class. "Gabe! Hey!" a short girl said with a smile. I nodded back, my eyes searching the faces around.

"You here for Justin?" A guy next to her asked.

"Yeah. Where is he?"

"He just got a phone call and stepped out." The girl said. Pigtails, jovial and bubbly. Justin's type. A pang hit me. During the time I wasn't around when he avoided me, did she get closer to him? Is that how she knows him so well? "Should I get him?"

"No, no, I'll wait." I made for the shut violin case propped against the wall as they walked past me. As I sat, I placed it on my lap. It was more or less light, but thinking of him playing it for over twenty minutes without a single mistake over his shoulder, I couldn't help but think they must be sore. We should have a Boy's Day out after finals. Oh, right, we're going to mum's place for the summer.

"Gabriel."

He heaved my name from his lips, and my tummy did a tumble. I blinked at the feeling.

"Justin, hey." I put the case away, feeling as guilty as a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I- um-"

"The talk."

"Right. That." He approached and placed the case on his lap, using the extension to keep a slight distance between us. It didn't matter. This was the closest we'd gotten all week, and I got giddy from the improvement. He fiddled with the strap, and I caught the dents from where his fingers pressed on the vibrating strings. "Justin? Uh, I'm sorry-  "

"I'm moving." He looked up at me, and I blinked at the sudden dump of information.

"Oh. Where to?"

"Maine."

"A vacation home?" He shook his head. My skin pricked. "... When are you coming back? After summer break?" 

"Gabriel, it's permanent." Heavy as lead, the word sunk in and held me in place for a moment. Cotton replaced my tongue, and it sucked my mouth dry until I gulped. At last, I released a sigh, no more like a scoff, though no bone in my body joked as I whispered an unbelieving heave.

"What?" He didn't repeat, nor did he need to. I shot to my feet. "What do you mean, it's permanent?"

"The way it is. I'm not coming back. I'll do my final year somewhere else."

"Is this because of what I did? I told you, it was a silly dare! It didn't even mean a thing; it was Suren's idea, otherwise, I wouldn't kiss my best friend!" Now he stood up.

"Screaming like that won't change a thing," he said, poking at my chest. "You know full well what Suren's dares are like. Last time, Lydia had to stay commando for three days, even when it was fall. Of course, he'd say that! Why do you even hang out with him?"

"Then why are you reacting like this? If you understand, then... Why leave?" I grabbed his shoulders, my voice dropping to a tone I'd never heard. "How many times should I apologise? Five? Ten? Should I pay up? Just tell me, how much? I'll give it to you. Just don't leave." His face twisted, and he wrenched from my hands. The expression foreign to his usually handsome face, he slung the case across his chest. "Wait, Justin!"

"You're disgusting. Maybe this move is for the best after all." Then he turned and left the ball of emotions swelling up in my crumbling self until a grunt of pain escaped me. I withdrew my throbbing hand from the wall and saw drops of blood stain the cream paint. My fingers bent in inhuman directions, skin torn and bone exposed. I stared at my hand for a moment, then at the door, and the lump that came and went throughout the day finally exploded. Sinking onto the bench, I clutched my wrist and cried. I didn't know which was worse; my hand or my guilty conscience.

All I knew was that it hurt. Bad.

             I found Ray leaning against my clubroom door, arms crossed over his chest, having changed out of his uniform. The lack of emotion on his face was a mockery. He expected me to fail, to hurt my pride and return as shattered as I was. His expression faltered when he glanced at my left hand. "Your hand... " He began, then stopped.

"You win." I winced and swallowed the nauseating pain when I moved my fingers. "Don't pull that face. You knew this would happen, didn't you?"

"It was to snap you out of that depressing pit you've dug for yourself. I hate seeing you like that." His voice had a ringing honesty that took me by surprise. He ducked into the clubroom and emerged with our bags, then frowned at my horrific hand. He was shorter, with the pretty magazine-cover face that girls crazed over, and a silver hoop in his ear I hadn't noticed before. Too bad his mop hid all this. Otherwise, he'd become a model by now. "We should head to the hospital. I'll drive you."

"You have a license?"

"Nope." He took my good hand in his and led me down the hallway. "I'll get it soon, though. Wasn't your dad supposed to get you a car?"

"How'd you know that?" I don't remember telling him this.

"You talked about it over lunch one time. About how he wants to get you one, but you'd rather save up." It knocked me to silence for a moment and watched the bags swing on his back as we descended the stairs, still biting back the pain as I held up my hand to reduce blood flow. He'd listened, yet I don't even remember ever saying that. He repeated every word. 

"Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"He's... moving to Maine... What, no soothing words?" The chuckle in my voice was bitter when he stayed silent. So he expected me to lose. Then he stopped and looked over his shoulder with a half smile. 

"Will they make you feel better?" I thought for a moment, then returned his smile.

"No."

There weren't many people in the parking lot, as most just went off home after the ceremony, or to some place to celebrate. He owned a silver Honda closest to the gate. He revved up the engine after seating me on the back. "And Gabe, don't get down over something like that. Who knows, there's probably another fish in the sea." I snorted at that.

"What the hell? It's not like I broke up with my girlfriend or anything." We pulled out onto the main road, in the opposite direction of my house. Of the direction, I'd have walked home with Justin. I eyed him through the rear-view mirror as he drove and clutched my wrist, so the car wouldn't shake it more than it already was. The pain had become so much it was like a numb hot flash in my head. Why was he doing this? Was he to get anything out of it? "Hey," I set myself deeper into the car seat. He blinked at me but kept his eyes on the road. "You won. What do you want?" He glanced at me but said nothing. "Oi, say it so I can wrap up my account, or get an allowance quick enough." He smirked.

That was the first time I'd ever seen that on him.

"It's nothing worth money, rich boy."

"Then what is it?"

"Let's save that for later."

"What?" As soon as I asked, he took a sharp turn, threw me off balance, onto the car door on the other side and awakened the pain again. I winced, hissed, and then set myself back into position. "Couldn't you have at least warned me?"

"That's why we have seat belts, Gabe," he said with slight mockery in his voice. I wanted to get mad, but I only shook my head. So the cold Raymar can get expressive. 

Who knew?