'She's a bane!'

'What an unlucky child!'

'you killed your parents!!'

I woke up with a start,sat up and started sweating like crazy even though it was November.

It was Monday..again.I somehow made it to the bathroom and washed my face.

'Blue.You can do this.'

I tell this to myself everyday.Nothing new.

The same,usual and boring life,only to sometimes wake up with nightmares of my past,haunting me.

My name is Gu Ying Yue and I come from a typical superstitious Chinese family.The matter with my name is quite ironic as my English name is 'Morta' which is also the name of the Roman Goddess Of Death while my Chinese name is considered a beautiful name for girls.I was told that my mother had chose my chinese name during her early pregnancy and I'm quite thankful to her for that.At least something about my existence is nice.

My paternal aunt gave me my English name because....well,my mother died during childbirth and my superstitious relatives blamed it on me,saying I was cursed.As far as I remember,my uncle and aunt once suggested giving me up for adoption or sending me away to a nunnery because according to them,I would bring death upon my family members.I was still in kindergarten that time and my father and grandparents were strictly against it.But as I grew up,more deaths of my relatives occured and their deaths always had something in common.At this point the constant pressures of my relatives of sending me away also grew.When I was in high school,my father couldn't take the pressure any more and decided that he would send me away to India for further studies.I didn't say anything.But the night before leaving- nevermind.

I wiped my face and realized I was late 'Shit I'm late!' I skipped breakfast that day and went for my part time job.I went down the stairs of my apartment and entered the convenience store.The convenience store in which I work was right below my apartment so it was efficient.I entered the store,put on my uniform and stood at the cash counter..as usual.My life was pretty normal most of the time,nothing out of the ordinary.

Sometimes I would think if I wasn't 'cursed',what if it was all superstitious belief and at the same time,I would also think of what to do if I really was cursed.'At some point,would my relatives really kill me if I actually was responsible of my other relatives' death?Or would my 'curse' get to me before all of that and I would die too?'

These thoughts would just flood my mind at some days and because of all those overthinking,I would look haggard.Some time later,my co-worker Bai Xiao entered the store and greeted me.I greeted him back.Our day went on this way.Later on,around 7 in the evening,just as my shift was about to end and I was about to leave,a customer stood in front of the cash counter and I lifted my face.

To my surprise,it was him.

'Hey,long time no see!'

It was him.His long black hair tied in a bun,his tall figure with a hunky build and those dark black eyes and thick eyebrows,my one and only friend since middle school,Felix Wang.

'Felix.'

I looked at him in the eye and called out to him.

'Oh?you still remember me?'

-He sneered at me.

'What do you mean?Why wouldn't I?'

I asked him,puzzled.

'It's not convenient to talk here,why don't you come outside first?Your shift's over right?'

I looked at the time and it was already 7:05.

'Give me a minute'

I went into the staff room and changed into my clothes.After rushing out I said good night to bai xiao and went outside the store.

I looked around for felix but he was nowhere to be found.I was gonna go upstairs,disappointed but I heard his voice.

'Took you some time'

I was pissed.He told me to meet outside so I rushingly changed and came outside but he was nowhere to be found.And now he's blaming me?

'What do you want?'

I asked in an annoyed tone.

'ehhh what kind of tone is that?why do you sound so annoyed?'

I couldn't help but sigh at his silliness and annoyance.

'Fine.lex,what did you want to talk about?'

Lex was the nickname I gave to felix during middle school.I gave him the nickname because we had 2 felixes in our class and it was a pain everytime I called out to him and both of them responded.

I unknowingly chuckled reminiscing about our old school days.

But I realised that Felix was shocked for some reason and I asked him what it was.

'What happened?why do you look so shocked?'

All of a sudden,he picks me up and hugs me tightly and I couldn't help but be baffled

'hey!!!what are you doing all of a sudden?!people are watching!'

We were literally in the middle of the street and all the people walking around us looked at us in awe.

'Hey!!felix!let me down!it's getting embarrassing!'

I screamed at him and he finally let me down.

I couldn't help but blush and glare at him,waiting for an explanation.

But then I saw tears flowing down from Felix's eyes and once again,I was shocked.

'Felix?what's wrong?'

I started worrying and thought if I had done something wrong.But then he wiped off his tears and started speaking in a shaky tone-

'blue,You still remember this nickname?I thought you'd forgot about it'

I was surprised and wanted to smack his head for being so dumb but I couldn't help but sigh at the thought that such a small thing could make him so happy.

'Of course silly,how could I forget about it?After all I was the one who gave you this nickname.'

I chuckled and started wiping off his remaining tears with my sweater sleeve.

'Heh I knew you wouldn't forget about it''

I couldn't help but smile.

'It's already late,you should go back now.'

I looked at the time and it was around 7:30 now.

'Okay but give me your contact number first.'

-Said Felix

I hesitated for a while.

'what happened?aren't you gonna give it to me?'

-He asked in a kind of disappointed tone.

At the end,I surrendered and gave my contact number to him.

'Hehe thanks blue,Good night'

'*Good night.Get home s**afely*.'

-Gosh,I sounded like his mother.

he waved at me and started walking away.

I waved back at him and watched him go further,further away.

I missed him.

After I couldn't see his back anymore,I turned around and went back to my apartment too.I locked the door and placed my phone on charge.Then I went into my bathroom and took a warm bubble bath.It was cozy.

Upon remembering the events that took place today,it was kind of amusing compared to my other boring days.After all,I also met my old school friend and we talked a bit.I rested my head on top of the bathtub and fell into a deep thought.

'how many years has it been?he's not changed a bit.'

These were the thoughts I had while I was wiping off his tears with my sweater sleeve.I wondered what made him cry.Was he happy?Or was he shocked?

These thoughts made me a bit worn out.

'I'm tired.'

I stood up,walked out of the bathtub and put on a bathrobe.I felt slothful to make dinner but I was hungry.I took out a pack of instant noodles from the cupboard and started boiling them in a saucepan.While stirring the noodles,I zoned out a bit and came back to my senses when the water almost dried out.I quickly turned off the gas and took out the saucepan.Then I added the sauce and the flakes and started stirring the noodles again.

I ate the noodles and they tasted monotonous.Just like my life.I sneered at myself and at how dumb I can be,comparing my life to the taste of instant noodles.I ate the rest of the noodles and did my dishes.Then I went to the bathroom to do my nightly routine.The same,boring thing.Nothing new.Then I entered my bedroom and laid down in my bed.

'my life is pretty much monochrome.I wish something would change.'

That's when I suddenly remembered that felix took my number.I didn't really expect much but I tried turning on my phone.

'Maybe he texted me.'

-I thought to myself.

I felt nervous for some reason.No one's ever texted me in the past.My grandparents are dead,my relatives don't like me,I don't have any friends and dad-

The phone turned on and I didn't see any notifications.

'Hah what was I expecting?'

I didn't expect much but for some reason,I felt a bit disappointed.

'Nevermind,I'm used to this.'

I felt stupid.No one's ever texted me or paid any attention to me before.Why did I even bother expecting anything?

I fell into a deep thought again.

'Should I finally go to India?I was supposed to go there anyway.I should check my schedule and look for a budget friendly college.I should also start student loans and look for part time jobs.'

All these thoughts just came pouring out in my head.I have nothing to lose.I have no family here anyway.Maybe a new country would hopefully give me a new life.

Just as I was about to doze off,I heard my phone ring.I was annoyed.

I picked up the phone and started speaking.

'Hello?'

-I said.

The caller remained quite for a moment then started speaking.

'Hello?Blue?'

The voice had me startled.

'Felix?'