"The most luxurious possession,

the richest treasure anyone has

is his personal dignity."

- Jackie Robinson

* * *

Pretty little thing. Pretty little thing. Come on, come on.

"Oh, come on, for God's sake." I drawl frustrated. 'Shut up, Hiba. Don't say G name in this place. It's a sin. A sin.'

"This is the flipping sixth time it is happening to me! What? I'll have to do it again, no way!" I whisper, gritting my teeth.

Distant shouting could be heard from downstairs, "Hiba! Come down quickly, when is your toilet going to finish." Mom must be making curry and wants my help.

'Oh, sugar!'

I flushed the toilet and run the tap, pretending I've been using the toilet and doing my wudu.(1) I don't know if I should cry or laugh. 'This bad habit of mine is going to kill me at the hands of my mom.'

"Alright. Alright. Now where should I put my phone." I mutter under my breath.

"Hiba, hurry up. I've been standing at the door since the past 2 hours." Fantastic! Now my older brother is waiting right outside the door.

I fluster and my eyes roam around the entire Washroom. 'Darn it!'

'Don't swear. Can't swear. shouldn't Wear. Mustn't swear. It's a sin. A sin and now will be my cause of death if I don't find an appropriate place to hide my phone....'

Come on. Ugly little thing, think, think.

Eureka! That's it. The perfect place.

"Finally, Queen of toilet comes out." Danish pretend kowtow to me and rushes into the toilet.

"Hey! You didn't even say the dua!" I wonder does he ever say the toilet dua. (2)

"I did."

"Your not allowed to speak inside the toilet. It's disliked."

"I didnt. By the way don't eat my mangoes, i am going to make mango smoothie. And don't turn the wi-fi on, I won't let those maggots watch YouTube on the TV since they rattled on me to father."

I remain speechless on my stance. 'Seriously? What is he?'

Wait. Wait. Wi-fi, turned off?

Immediately, I storm down and the stairs creak with every step I take. 'What an old house.'

This makes so much sense. Now, I understand why my story didn't get uploaded, why my entire six episodes didn't update; they were descriptive thirteen thousand words! I had spent almost 5 consecutive days without sleep at night, in the morning when I woke up: I cut my TV time off for it, even missed my takeout Sunday and worst of all, I pretended to use the toilet because Mom and Dad wouldn't allow me to use the phone anymore after five o'clock.

I hold the wi-fi box in my hands, it was turned off the whole time. Dismayed, lost, angry, annoyed.

'Urghhhhhhhh...'

"Bhai!" I screech at the top of my lungs.

(Translation: Brother)

Oh, no. The phone. I hid my phone in my clothes underneath my arms; I know, I know it's gonna smell so terribly later but I definitely don't wanna meat pulp, not yet.

'Besides, I'll just spray disinfectant and clean it with baby wipes and then spray it with my favorite perfume. Perfect, right?'

"Have you done your Maghrib Neemaz (3)?" My Mother asks me.

"Isn't it obvious, huh." I shrug my shoulders, not giving a clear response. I know Mom thinks I have because I always do it on time but she just asks for confirmation. 'How can I possibly tell her I'm on my period, I really want to hide in a corner and cry.' We are both woman but it'd sound strange to me telling Mom something like that, even though it's nothing. 'I guess it's braise of introverted personality.'

"Mum, so do I put this masala in it?"(4) my hands held a clear glass holder, some kind of red spice was in it.

"No, the one next to it." She answered, focusing on putting boiling water in the seasoned meat.

"Hiba, I've taught you how to make Biryani (5) a hundred times yet you don't know the first steps, what is wrong with you?" This is what always happens a.d I was trying so hard to avoid this.

"I won't do it again." I sigh and resume my work.

"No, that's what you always say. Now, I don't want you ignoring the situation. I want answers, proper answers." she put down the jug and slide a lid to the vassal.

We were confronting each other with deep and prolonged gazes.

"Ami (6), I- I am-" I was cut off by a sudden voice.

"Hiba! Where are you?" Father came in from the back garden door and was stunned to see the already tensed atmosphere.

"I received your autumn exam grades online, and they were two weeks late. How long were you going to hide this from us? Look at your results!" Brother grasped Dad's phone and was shocked at the content.

My heat raced rapidly. 'Oh, Allah. Please help me.'

I didn't revise for the autumn exams because to me they are not important, especially Religious studies, Citizenship, Health and Social Care, urdu and History; Because I always get top grades in these subjects without having to revise at all.

Brother spoke like a robot, "An 8 in RS, 5 in maths, level 2 distinction in Health and Social Care, 4 in English, 7 in citizenship, History is 8, urdu is exceed, science: 6 for biology, 4 for chemistry, 5 for Physics." He whistled and handed the phone back to Dad.

"What does it mean? Did she get bad grades?" Mom proceed to ask, her wrinkles crampled.

Dad gave a reply, "Means she doesn't have good grades."

I was surprised when Dad said that, "Dad, how can you say that? I didn't just get bad grades, there were also a number of good grades. I am on target for most of them except for Chemistry." I retort.

"Your GCSE are next year and these are the outcome of your grades?" Dad frowned, shoving the phone in my face.

I turn to Mom, "Ami, perhaps you are not satisfied with my results but I really do guarantee to you and dad that I'll excel at GCSE." I pleaded her to understand with my eyes, they've never truly tried to understand me; I've always hidden my true emotions, what I really want to do and say. I am quiet and reserved, I don't trust people easily, I am not comfortable around a lot of people. It makes me panic, anxious, I'm always worried about my looks even though I do think meet people often. I know I am overweight, I don't take extra measures like face mask or putting cream on your face everyday and night, sometimes I don't even brush my teeth twice a day; it's just who I am and how I want to be.

Others may call me dirty or that I don't act like a girl, even my own family thinks I need to be more ladylike.

"Then tell me Hiba, what are you putting your determination into, huh? You've come rely cut yourself from your cousins, siblings, us, the social world. It's ice you've become depressed, always sitting in your room and on your phone! you've neglected you body and now look at your state: girls don't look nice when they're obese-"

"Mom! I am not obese, just overweight." I cut and corrected her.

"Listen, Young Lady. You don't do things that girls should do, look at your older sister, your cousins: Myra and Haima. If you act like this, your younger sister will learn from you and act like this too." She was pointing a finger at me, her face showed anger, annoyance and disappointment.

My older sister, Saima: the perfect and obedient daughter. She is beautiful, loyal, hardworking, tolerant, and she has an aura around her that intimidates the other party naturally. The kind of aura I can never posses, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do. I am just us less but I don't want to be. is like a second mother to all of us. Mom has told us numerous times of Saima's contribution in taking care of us and of mother herself in our worst times.

My brother moved his body to a side and said, "Now she has a new hobby: spending hours in the toilet."

Well done! He just had to add fuel to the fire. But I won't back down either.

I pull an evil smirk and chuckle lightly, "Oh! You all have been attacking me, huh. But what about your precious one and only son, he's already left college and soon it will be his 19th birthday but he's still sitting at home and lousing around."

I could hear sounds of claps when Mum stopped to mark, "See! See, this is what I was left to see, a useless husband and now disobedient children's, all gone after their father!" She always uses this card!

"Hey! Why are you all of a sudden pulling me I to this." Dad became anxious, somehow after our every lecture and argument on education, family, work and looking after the body Dad becomes the victim at the end.

"Your Mother always blames but I've always told you to prioritise your education first and then you can pursue your passion, career or whatever respectable life that you've chosen for yourself, we won't stop you but support you." Dad was looking deeply Into mine and nd brothers gazes when Mom interrupted, "Exactly, your top priority is to get the best of the best education, get a well payed job and buy me a beautiful new home only after that will let you marry, humph." We all giggle, amused.

Mother isn't a materialist woman. They say a Mother knows her child best but I know it my Mother best; she doesn't want superficial luxuries, diamonds and riches of the world rather she is a very religious person. But which woman wouldn't want a beautiful house with a devoted and hard working husband. Which woman wouldn't want to give her children the best of the best and not let them suffer anything.

Mother is that type of selfless Mother who'll rather tolerate all the hardships but never let us be harmed; I know that all she says is for our benefit whether she does it soft and calmly or harsh and demanding. This is that age where we know but we never understand, I tried to change myself many times but find miserably every time.

"We've never had the chance to receive education but you, you all are ever so lucky to have free education at your feet yet your wasting it? I will not accept either of you as useless; I want you all to strive and be successful in life, to shine our name in pride." Mother stated her demands and expectations.

I know the importance of education and the impact it can have on a person's entire life because I've seen it with my own eyes. Mother only know it's her native language and in times if need she'll have to deal with difficulty, so I am using my phone for the greater good. Downloading language apps and learning all the important and most used languages around the world; in three months I can learn two whole la gauges simultaneously thanks to my brilliant memory.

I study but I like to study in my own way. For me school is only wasting the extra hours I can have and Improvise myself further.

"Hiba, you will stop writing those stories if yours and ficus on your studies."

"But Mom, I can make money thr-"

"No, what I want fro you is education and not money. That will be accounted for when you are able to firmly stand on your own tow feet." She exchanged a threatening and firm glance with me before turning her head to brother, "Danish. From now onwards, your Father will book a educational and religious tutor for you this year I want you to complete your Qur'an. (8) No more delaying." Brother has always had a tricky tongue, even though he is so old he hasn't been able to finish the Qur'an with proper pronunciation. I've done mine ages ago, 'another reason to say I know I have what it takes in it for me to do.'

Dad and Brother obediently walked out of the kitchen and we resumed cooking our Biryani.

'I vow to become a better person with each passing day and bring out my best versions to my loved ones. I vow to become the person I always want to be and bring happiness un towards my family; I vow to be the reason someone smiles or is inspired, someone is encouraged to live again and be successful, someone who wants to leave their comfort zone and reach out for the skies even if they might not be able to reach. I Vow to change the world I live in and perhaps a small part of the world we all live in. I vow that I will fulfill each and everyone of my vow.'

It shall be proved with my determination, strength of will, the powerful forces that will push me further and everything else it takes for me to become formidable.

* * *

"You have to remember something:

everyone pities the weak:

jealousy you have to earn."

-Arnold Shwarzenegger

*This project is brought to you by

-Light Dreamer-

Coming Soon*...

* * *

(1)- Wudu or you can call it ablution is what Muslims perform before they do nemaaz (prayer/worship Allah) this is done because Muslims believe that when they present

themselves to Allah they must be physically clean and emotional and spiritually. e.g. physical dirt or any sort of unpurity, have to have decent thoughts and get rid if evil within spiritually.

(2) - Dua means prayer in English- Muslims read a specific dua before and after the toilet, this mainly focuses that they seek refuge from shaytan (Satan), Jinns (It's another creation of Allah- subahana-wata-allah- you can assume they are like ghosts but they are not- they are different creatures and have a different world, although Muslims believe they lice in the same world, they are 'The unseen'. Only in the hear after will they be seen...) female and male from all evil and unpurity. It's basically protection from Allah the Almighty.

(3)- There are specific times for when Muslims prayer and the time limit they have to pray- Maghrib is the time just after sunset- the fourth Prayer-Neemaz means Prayer/worship of Allah.

(4)-Masala also know as spice

(5)- Biryani is a type of dish- rice can be cooked in different ways and Biryani is one of those types- I personally don't like Biryani but I definitely chicken/Chickenpea puloa, vegetable rice (something like Chinese rice)

(6)-Ami-aka Mother it's how children's address their Mother- Ami/Mama/maa

(7)-X3/Y3- These are basically the system in which a school runs- in Hiba school the highest set you can be in is X1 and the lowest is Y3- X1-X2-X3-X4-Y1-Y2-Y3- do you get it?

Hiba was first in X3 because of her SATs results but she moved down to regain her stance she worked and focused hard not.only was she able to upgrade she moved 6 grades above all because of two exams which she scored as one of the highest in the school.

(8)-Finishing Qur'an or Khata-Mul-Qur'an- It us mandatory for every practising Muslim to have read and finished the Qur'an properly- many Muslims strive to learn the whole Qur'an off by heart or know the meaning of every single word in The Holy Book of Allah- these are called Nazirah (Normal everyday recitation but with tajweed), Hifz (Completely memorising the Qur'an), Tajweed (how to recite the Qur'an properly, Islam is very serious about how The Qur'an is treated and recited therfore Allah has sent rules to show Muslims the way one must use and read the Qur'an by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).