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I,Me,And Myself

12 aug

Black
Black
why even feel like your not included in her birthday no one asked you to come but she the girl not talking one year to know one they asked her instead of you
Black
Black
I don't understand you would have said no anyway
Black
Black
she always said and participates and you always said no anyway what do accept from others when you always said no
MAYA
MAYA
right
Black
Black
you shouldn't be feeling anything right now
Black
Black
your on your own so stop thinking and feeling sucha stupid things
MAYA
MAYA
your absolutely right
so here the situation where all her friends are meeting for a birthday party and she feel left out but in reality she always said no whenever they asked her to come dosent make sense right
Friday 12 August 2022
outher
outher
what are you upto these days
MAYA
MAYA
nothing sleeping eating typing practice reading and thinking about stuffs
Black
Black
all in all she's wasting her time
MAYA
MAYA
🤣🤣🤣 right
Black
Black
shameless
MAYA
MAYA
come on don't be like this I'm always like this
Black
Black
yeah yeah keep your self fooling around
MAYA
MAYA
😭😭😭
MAYA
MAYA
I think they will talk behind my back
Black
Black
shut up who doesn't talk behind others back in this world
Black
Black
your not a acception get this thing in your dumb head
Black
Black
and let me remind you they talk I'll front of you lots of time and you didn't said a word in return 😠😠
Black
Black
even if they talk that doesn't matter
Black
Black
so stop those shity thoughts
MAYA
MAYA
😭😭😭 yep I should stop
MAYA
MAYA
[15/08, 8:28 pm] Hay the episodes of jealousy are coming back And making me engry I'm trying my hard to control it I'm thinking positive And trying to think in your perspective Still it's not helping 😭😭😭 why why it's not I'm really trying hard to not cry
outher
outher
so basically her angr towards her nasty big sister and jealousy about her lil sister and bro all of those emo came hard when she's washing dishes it make her feel like crying it's hard for her to control them she's trying her best to control herself and not show her family the crying side of her and she's angry with her father and mother too 1st her father cuz his a selfish man he only think about himself he never spend money on her wholeheartedly she's not the girl who asked for lot of things only few things will satisfy her easily but he only spends money on her elder daughter she's the greedy one still he always spends money on her it's brokes Mayas heart that she's the good girl still she have to wait for the things she want for year's 2nd her mother Maya loves her mother so much but she can't egnore the fact that her mother always favours her old daughter and Lil daughter if she have money she will spend it on them most of the time literally all the time lots of time she hurt her lots of time her brother well his the arrogant one and get engry easily shows of alot have lots of freedom Lil sis ha e attitude that only come hard towards Maya she's the silent but have nasty personality too over all she hates all of them but love them at the same time but they hurt her alot that she can't egnore it
Black
Black
😅😬 Well What you tryna do is upar ka work. Jealousy is deeply rooted inside you so it will come back upar from time to time
MAYA
MAYA
Damn it's embarrassing
Black
Black
The whole healing will make you think that it sucks but in reality it doesn't You are the key to your freedom and you are the lock You decide what you wanna do
MAYA
MAYA
I thought it stopped Forever But no it didn't Today it came hard
Black
Black
🤣😂🤣 honey, nothing in this world will ever stop. Emotions phir toh aur bhi nahi. You think I stopped feeling pain or embarrassed. No. Not at all. It repeats but the only difference is that I choose to focus on self and let go than give it the energy Cuz things will appear even if you try new things for self. Its like you go up and people will pull you down. However, you decide whether you wanna go down or struggle to go up
MAYA
MAYA
Well your saying is it will come back again no matter what I calm down by the way Thanks girl you saved me
Black
Black
It will be bcuz of all the clouds that stay in your mind Why do you think people don't wanna do it and stay in dark? Cuz tiring mentally and don't wanna put in efforts
MAYA
MAYA
I wanna give up but it would distroy me in the end
Black
Black
so don't give up we have long way to go
MAYA
MAYA
I can't fall asleep
Black
Black
why
MAYA
MAYA
the thoughts of going outside, doing job
MAYA
MAYA
are coming back to back
Black
Black
so what
MAYA
MAYA
I have no clothes, I I'm fat, no brain , speech problem, bad facial expressions how I'm i going to go through this
Black
Black
1st of all it's your fault
Black
Black
2nd you never do practice so how in the hell those things are going to change
Black
Black
if you took a one step and second step that means your atleast moving but if you stayed in ok one place how in the hell you goona move
Black
Black
motherfucker that's how you have to take a one step ahead not backward
Black
Black
you have potential to do the hard job so get your hard as rock
Black
Black
be shameless be heartless
Black
Black
others opinion dosent matter my opinion matters the most
Black
Black
so bitch stop this self pity and being a *****
Black
Black
there are lot of things to take care
17 Aug / wed 12.00
MAYA
MAYA
bro got angry/ annoyed at me cuz i wore his tshirt he asked that i don't have other clothes then mother reply instead of me that she doesn't then he left at of annoyance
Black
Black
this didn't happened 1st time
MAYA
MAYA
yeah
Black
Black
then bitch stop wearing his clothes
Black
Black
take a hint when someone gets angry or says something simple as that he doesn't like it when you wore his t-shirts
MAYA
MAYA
I'll wash this tshirt and will not wore it again
MAYA
MAYA
I'll promise
Black
Black
stop doing that in future it's irritating as hell
Black
Black
get that into your potato head
MAYA
MAYA
i get it
Monday 22 August
2022
MAYA
MAYA
i don't understand what's wrong with me
Black
Black
you need a lots of works that's it
Black
Black
don't think about how much failure you are how you stop your studies when there are only 2 year left
Black
Black
Maya be strong think about what you want to do
Black
Black
what are your top intrest
Black
Black
Maya life sucks but you can do it
MAYA
MAYA
that bitch won this time too
MAYA
MAYA
🥰 wasn't it is nice
MAYA
MAYA
i was a loser
MAYA
MAYA
that damn bitch really got hard as ****
MAYA
MAYA
why in the world i shear things with her
Black
Black
she played well
Black
Black
better then you
Black
Black
alot better
MAYA
MAYA
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
MAYA
MAYA
wow it's amazing trick
MAYA
MAYA
big claps for her
Black
Black
she really did play you Dirty
MAYA
MAYA
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
MAYA
MAYA
damn
Black
Black
now now now don't be so happy about it
Black
Black
🤣🤣 you regret like always
MAYA
MAYA
i was naive but won't be in present
MAYA
MAYA
🤣🤣🤣😁😁😁😁 now time to play alone
Black
Black
so what gonna do
MAYA
MAYA
this time I wanna show
Black
Black
ohhh really
MAYA
MAYA
yes
MAYA
MAYA
really want to bit the sheet out of me
Black
Black
🤩🤩🤩 I will one day
Black
Black
so gonna cry poor baby
MAYA
MAYA
i will but alone
9 sep 2022
i feel like doing nothing
MAYA
MAYA
i didn't do anything today i feel this wierd feeling of doing nothing
Black
Black
do your assignment
MAYA
MAYA
yeah I'll start it now
MAYA
MAYA
hi
NovelToon
MAYA
MAYA
like this chat of us i asked stupid questions
Hay i just chat with my friend few min ago and I feel so stupid You know asking stupid questions😩 I really feel stupid And this feeling is not going It's making me crazy I never feel like that with you But I feel whenever I'm talking with her i lost my half head somewhere You know like in perticular conversation she's talking about something and then I talk about totaly different things That doesn't match At all Like it doesn't make sense😭😭😭😭 Why I'm being like this And she left the chat meddle conversation She's doing it now Like I'm tired of you It's nothing When I went to college Damn that 1 and half hour lec was tortur We are only 3 girls and that teacher about 5 years older than us i guess She's young So damn that lec was so awkward they talking like friend 3 of them Like making jokes And all I was like i visible person I feel awkward That class What's happening that never happened Why this year feel so awkward There are girl who doesn't know anything about notes and all And always clueless i feel one of them now Clueless about everything I can't sleep now cuz of it Damn those thoughts
Black
Black
first of all it's a small mater your making it big
Black
Black
you don't need her help that much
Black
Black
mc girl it's just about being in a right place
Black
Black
and knowing things
Black
Black
like sometimes every one does that in perticular time
Black
Black
the most important thing is how you handle those things and situation
Black
Black
like now the problem it about notes right
Black
Black
you not knowing about what would happen in class
Black
Black
and complete the assignments thats are the only problems if you see closely
Black
Black
what's more about tomorrow complete the assignment
Black
Black
and then complete the 25 form assignment
Black
Black
submit your pending assessments
Black
Black
and don't be ashamed that your submitted lately cuz lots of girls do that
Black
Black
even you did it
Black
Black
next one write down the notes or Xerox it
Black
Black
next one start memorizing the notes
Black
Black
and the question about giving all of your notes back you borrow them not her
Black
Black
you took the responsibility not her
Black
Black
you have to carried them not her
Black
Black
you have to return it not her
Black
Black
you have to go all of that trouble not her
Black
Black
so get that shot out of your head
Black
Black
how stupid I am
Black
Black
cuz girl there are worse then you
Black
Black
and you can't change middle of night
Black
Black
you can't be smart all of the time
Black
Black
what most important thing is what are you going to do about what bad that happen or learn from it
Black
Black
now the learning thing is
MAYA
MAYA
i should not be taking the situation over the top
MAYA
MAYA
like think about it from another perspective
MAYA
MAYA
know the situation I'm in
MAYA
MAYA
don't be ignorant
MAYA
MAYA
learn from it
MAYA
MAYA
6/9/22 Saturday 12 Am
outher
outher
so this is all about when Maya downloaded the app hello talk she found this guy Chandler from China to talk her English practice she talked with him 3 times and tomorrow they decided the timing too ( but the problem is that Maya talk so loudly about the topics how she's not supposed to talk with the guy he was the 2st guy she's talking with ) the whole neighbours can hear it cuz voices echoes hear where she lives so it's a big deal and top of that it was a guy
Black
Black
what is wrong with your voice
Black
Black
fucking bitch
Black
Black
how can you be so stupid
Black
Black
top of that the speaker was on
Black
Black
my gosh how can you be so irresponsible stupid bitch
Black
Black
and the topic are so stupid
Black
Black
i really want to bang your head on the wall
Black
Black
literally you gets on my nerves
Black
Black
ok tomorrow talk at afternoon don't talk at night
Black
Black
tomorrow after the day talk at night
Black
Black
and keep the voice down
Black
Black
and yours too
MAYA
MAYA
that was stupid of me
MAYA
MAYA
any way what do you think about Chandler
Black
Black
he seems nice only nice
Black
Black
his firm with his words
Black
Black
like when you asked him to talk in girls voice the way he rejected it was firm you can't push him further
Black
Black
his seems clear minded
Black
Black
not so info giving person
MAYA
MAYA
I can't get the clear idea of his personality
MAYA
MAYA
Ha can be bad he can be nice he can be fake he can be good he can be hacker he can be scammer he can be psycho he can be pervert he can be dirty minded
MAYA
MAYA
looks he can be handsome he can be average he can be pretty he can be fat he can be too thin he can be ugly he can be men in his 30s
MAYA
MAYA
there are lot of possibilities
Black
Black
right but our main goal is to speak in English
Black
Black
and stay alert about what you say idiot
MAYA
MAYA
what's the problem if i talk for 12 o clock come on I'm doing this for to learn
MAYA
MAYA
they don't want to spend money at anything
MAYA
MAYA
they don't want to give me clothes
MAYA
MAYA
i don't even go outside of the house still she's getting angry
MAYA
MAYA
you know what when I'll leave this house to and do the job or get married
Black
Black
it's not making sense
MAYA
MAYA
right
MAYA
MAYA
it doesn't
MAYA
MAYA
ok whatever
MAYA
MAYA
you know what i don't care what now they think about me
MAYA
MAYA
it's not like im going to be their burden whole life
MAYA
MAYA
they say your fat i said okay
MAYA
MAYA
they said wear something acceptable i said alright but what
MAYA
MAYA
they said look good i said okay
MAYA
MAYA
I'm tired of this bullshit
MAYA
MAYA
I'm not that smart girl who can learn and understand fast
MAYA
MAYA
I'm slow i know that know one have to remind me
MAYA
MAYA
I hate her words that's makes me engry
MAYA
MAYA
soooooo engry
MAYA
MAYA
you know what i don't care I'll do what I want
MAYA
MAYA
if i want to talk I'll talk for hours
MAYA
MAYA
they want to get engry then get engry if they want to hate me then hate me if they want to scold me then scold me if they want to beat me then beat me if they want talk behind my back then talk behind my back if they want to ignore me then ignore me
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i doooooooont careeeee
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i doooooooont careeeee
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
i don't care
MAYA
MAYA
you see i don't care
Black
Black
that was great
mon 26 dec 2022
MAYA
MAYA
my exams went horrible compared to my friend
MAYA
MAYA
but how it is possible
MAYA
MAYA
why i failed my self once again
MAYA
MAYA
I feel jealous angry stupid
MAYA
MAYA
fat taking so much space compared to her so big like a an giant front of ant stupid talking with the smart person male version front of pretty girl lonely and a mess of words
MAYA
MAYA
less confidence
MAYA
MAYA
less charming words
MAYA
MAYA
blank face
MAYA
MAYA
I feel so depressed sometimes
MAYA
MAYA
losser too
MAYA
MAYA
I started to go to the walking once again
MAYA
MAYA
I started with the squats
Black
Black
that's great then

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