The anger hurriedly rushed to Jungkook’s face as he listened to the two men giggling in the room next door. He desperately took his pillow and tried covering his ears in an attempt to forget about those two and sleep, but he could still hear the laughs and slight moans very clearly.

He could only wish he was deaf.

The young man sat on the bed he was laying on, and looked at the white wall separating him from the two lovers in the other room. Jungkook took a long, deep breath and stopped to think about the strong rage that was taking over him.

Since when did he have a problem with Taehyung bringing guys over to their apartment? He had always accepted his roommate and supported him since he came out to him, but all of a sudden he had started getting inexplicably mad and sick to his stomach when Taehyung brought his boyfriends to the apartment, wanting them out the second they arrived and feeling angry at the sight of Taehyung showing them affection.

He couldn’t understand. He was really good friends with him, and he had never had any problems with gay or lgbt people, and he felt like actual crap for not liking the fact that Taehyung was living his life happily as himself, not having to hide whom he wanted to love.

Of course he hadn’t said anything to Taehyung, and he wasn’t planning to. He was just hoping that the rejection he started to have for him would just go away. He knew and believed firmly that there was nothing wrong or unnatural about Taehyung, but he couldn’t help feeling disgusted everytime he was romantically involved with any man.

He checked his phone.

2:14 a.m.

He had a class very early in the morning, so he decided he needed to push his awful thoughts aside and have some sleep. He grabbed his broken earphones from his night stand and listened to his favorite music until he slowly drifted into Morpheus’ embrace.

“Hey! Hey, Namjoon!” Jungkook yelled from the end of the hallway in the arts’ building.

The tall, purple haired literature student turned around, almost hitting a girl with his bag in the process.

Jungkook walked quickly towards him, and they continued to pace towards the university’s cafeteria together.

“Hi, Jungkook, what’s up?” said Namjoon while looking at the younger man.

“Well, since you’re like, wise and all, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh, I’m the opposite of wise but, sure! I’m all ears.”

“Well, do you know my roommate Taehyung, Jimin’s friend?” Namjoon nodded, and Jungkook continued. “Uh, he’s gay, and sometimes he brings guys over to our apartment. I never had any problems with that… until recently.”

“Maybe you’re just jealous that he has guys over and you don’t?”

“I’m straight, Nam.”

“Oh, shit, my bad” the older seemed to think about the situation for a minute. Then he continued. “I know you pretty well, and you couldn’t be a homophobe, you’ve always accepted me and Jimin completely, so my guess would be that you just want to find a girl who loves you and who you can have over at your apartment just like Taehyung has guys over.”

“Well, now that you mention it...” said Jungkook, thoughtful.

“Mention what?”

“I have no issues with you or Jimin liking boys or kissing boys or whatever, the only one i don’t feel comfortable with when he has boyfriends is Taehyung... isn’t that weird?”

“Maybe it has to do with us not living with you. You see Taehyung all the time, you live under the same roof and you’re there basically every time he has a guy home. You can’t know when Jimin or I have boys over or go out with them. You wouldn't even know we had boyfriends if we didn't tell you.”

“It… makes sense, but it doesn’t feel like that. Do you think maybe I have a problem with Taehyung? Like, not with him being gay, but with him as a person.” he wondered.

“I honestly have no idea. Only you can know that. You have to dig deep into your thoughts to really realize how you feel about him. It’s sort of a tricky thing in my opinion.” Namjoon answered as he took a book out of his bag.

“True… Ugh, it’s eating me alive, I feel horrible for not liking his happiness.” Admitting so took away all ease left in him.

“Like I said, I really don’t think a person as good as you could have a problem with his happiness, I just think you want to have the same thing he has with his lovers. Or you could be in love with him. But you’re straight, so, that’s not really an option.”

“Right, I’m… straight…”

When Jungkook got home, Taehyung was already there. He was in the kitchen, cooking something that smelled great.

“Oh, hey, Kook!” Taehyung said cheerfully when he heard Jungkook shut the door behind him.

“Hey… Cooking something for your boyfriend?” Jungkook asked.

"No, no... I’m just cooking dinner for you and me.” the younger stared at him for a couple of seconds, and Taehyung noticed. “I mean, if you want to eat with me, it’s no big deal if you can’t or don’t want to” his radiant smile seemed to fade a little.

“Oh, no, no, no, I’d love to! Thank you for inviting me.”

Taehyung offered Jungkook a sincere, sweet smile, and Jungkook felt something weird in his stomach. “Want me to help?” offered the brunette.

“Oh, that's alright, I'm almost finished.” smiled Taehyung.

“Alright… Then I'll go leave some stuff in my room, see you in a bit?” Jungkook asked and the oldest nodded, a warm smile still bright on his face.

Jungkook walked away towards his room, but before getting in he took a quick glance at his roommate, looking extremely handsome as always and more charming than usual with the baby blue apron he was wearing. His hair was half tied into a small pony tail in the back of his head. Jungkook shook his head and got inside his room, he threw his bag and then himself onto his bed and stared at the ceiling while a hundred thoughts invaded his confused mind.

It was completely impossible that he hated Taehyung. How could he? Taehyung was the best roommate and the best friend, always so understanding and kind hearted. Jungkook had always believed him the sweetest guy in the whole wide world. He couldn’t hate him.

But then, what was it? He had no problems with homosexuals, and the guys he had over weren’t anything bad… He just could not find the answer to the feelings that held him captive every time he saw Taehyung with somebody. That, until he thought about the last thing Namjoon said to him.

“Or you could be in love with him.”

No. That was impossible. He was straight. He had girlfriends in the past. He liked girls. Just girls.

...right?

“Jungkook, the food is ready!” Taehyung yelled from the kitchen. Jungkook took a minute to stand up, he didn’t know how much time he had been laying there thinking about his situation.

The film student got out of his room, trying to leave all of his thoughts in there. Of course he failed, but at least he tried.

The two young men sat in the small aisle in the center of the kitchen they used as a dining room, two bowls full of great-smelling-and-looking noodles waiting for them.

“Wow, it looks amazing, Tae” Jungkook said in awe.

“I really hope it turned out decent, I’m really not that good at cooking.” the blonde chuckled while taking off his apron and leaving it in the kitchen's counter.

“You’re good at literally everything, I wouldn’t worry.” Jungkook assured his roommate with a sweet smile.

When Jungkook tried it, his face stayed blank for a second, just to change expressions a moment later to one of absolute delight.

“Taehyung, this is so great” he said, accompanied with a yummy sound and with food still in his mouth.

Taehyung let out a sigh of relief, his face glowing with a genuine smile.

“Oh, thank god!”

After complimenting Taehyung multiple times about his cooking skills, they just started talking about trivial stuff; asking each other about their majors, their friends and even their weird habits, they were so involved in the conversation that they didn’t even notice it wasn’t so early in the night anymore. They really enjoyed each other’s company.

The calm and the joy that had taken over the apartment quickly faded away when Taehyung’s phone received a text. The blonde smiled at his phone and unlocked it to text back, and Jungkook’s heart started to race in his chest.

Jungkook stood up aggressively, almost knocking down his chair in the process. Taehyung flinched and looked at him in confusion.

“I think I’ll go to sleep now.” Jungkook said while he picked up his empty bowl and left it in the sink.

“Wait, so quick? I thought maybe we could watch a movie or something” Taehyung replied, leaving his phone on the table immediately and standing up.

“Sorry, I just… I feel pretty tired, I woke up early today.” that wasn’t a lie, but Jungkook knew very well that wasn’t the reason why he wanted to leave.

“Oh… Alright then, I guess I’ll see you around tomorrow”

“Yeah, yeah... Goodnight, Taehyung.”

“Goodnight, Kook...”

Jungkook went to bed with a strong bittersweet feeling in his chest.

He didn’t hate Taehyung. He really didn’t. It was just the fact that he showed affection towards other boys.

....other boys?

It just couldn’t be it, it was impossible. He kept repeating himself how stupid that idea was, over and over again until he fell asleep, the soft blonde boy with the dreamy smile stealing his last thoughts once again.

After just some hours had passed after dinner, Jungkook woke up to the sound of the door unlocking.

His first thought was that someone had broken in, but their building had a high security system, which made this idea pretty impossible.

He sat on his bed and listened carefully, just in case.

Soon, he heard a deep, yet sweet voice mumble ‘We have to be quiet’. Jungkook immediately recognized said voice as Taehyung’s, but nothing else came to his mind as he was pretty much still asleep.

He stood up and slowly walked towards the door of his room, then he heard a second voice, a quite raspy and masculine one.

“I think you’ll have a bit of a problem with that, baby.”

His heart stopped at the disgusting, foul sight he witnessed right as he opened the door.

In the couch, Taehyung was sitting on the lap of a man, straddling him and raising his head so the man could kiss and bite his neck.

Jungkook could feel his blood boiling in his veins, the heat in his face and the pressure in his head demanding for him to scream at the top of his lungs and kick that guy out before he could place his dirty mouth on Taehyung’s skin once again.

The man saw him, and he did nothing else than grab Taehyung’s *** and pull him closer to him, almost rubbing in Jungkook’s face that the name Taehyung was silently moaning was his. That he was the boyfriend of the boy. Was he imagining it?

Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore.

He turned around and got inside his bedroom again, he slammed the door with all the strength in his body and just stood there. He was trying really hard to calm down, but the rage wasn’t going away.

He heard Taehyung freaking out at the other side of the door, yelling to the man he was with to get out. Once the man left and slammed the door behind him, Taehyung rushed to Jungkook’s bedroom and tried to open the door, but Jungkook immediately locked it and backed away.

“Jungkook, can we talk? I’m really sorry, it wasn't on purpose, please open the door”

But Jungkook didn’t open. Instead, he curled up in his bed a called his best friend, Jimin.

“Hey, Kook”

When his friend answered the phone, Jungkook couldn't bring himself to talk.

“...Are you alright? It’s really late and you're not saying anything”

“I’m not alright.” Jungkook’s voice was shaking, and Jimin could tell.

“Oh, goodness, what happened?”

“I saw Taehyung with a guy. And i can’t explain to you how mad I feel. To my core.”

“But… why? Namjoon told me about your issue with him, but why are you so mad?”

“I don’t fucking know, Jimin. I just feel disgusted whenever he has a guy over or whenever he has a boyfriend. I feel like a total asshole, I-”

“Hold on, are you…? I mean, you don’t have a problem with me and Yoongi, do you?”

“No! Ugh, see? This is exactly why I’m so frustrated. I don’t know why I feel this way and I don’t know what to do anymore.” Jungkook grunted, mad at himself and frustrated at the lack of answers and explanations.

“Oh. My god.” muttered Jimin on the other side if the line.

“...What?”

“Holy shit, you oblivious walnut, you’re in love with him! Head over heels! You're just fucking jealous!”

“What? Of course not, I’m straight” claimed Jungkook.

“Yeah, right. Then how do you explain the fact that you immediately hate every guy you see him with? Or the fact that you don’t care about me or Namjoon having boyfriends but wanting to puke and punch something when Tae has one?”

“I… I don’t know.” A crisis was genuinely starting to take place in Jungkook's head.

“You’re so stupid, oh my god. I'm gonna go now, I really need to sleep. You just calm down, sit on that *** of yours and think about it. It makes complete sense. I'll see you tomorrow.” Jimin said right before hanging up the phone, leaving Jungkook with the beep of the line feeling completely confused.

And he finally realized.

He wasn't homophobic.

He didn't hate Taehyung and he didn't want a lover like he did.

He wanted Taehyung, and he wanted him to himself.

He was in love with him.