It was on january 25 when i enroll to my new school, the weather is really hot, i enrolled for regular class, well due to the lockdown i kinda dont want to attend a face to face school because im not used to it. but my mother insisted that i should attend it so that i can meet different kinds of people,

well thats why.

so on the first day we just greet teacher's and get to know each other the first friend i made is a girl named Mary she is funny and well she is kind to me and so we had lunch together she would invite me to a restaurant all the time and we would eat there and go back to school well im thankful for her so im helping her to understand lessons in school.

and i will answer her questions and enlighten her if she doesn't understand anything but im not really a genius or like that im just an average high schooler well at first my grades are high i dont know why maybe because the subjects at first were easy.

but back to what im talking

one day i declined mary's invitation to go for lunch and said to her that i would eat in the classroom so we said goodbye's and why did i refused her invitation well i thought that all my classmates eat outside so i want to eat alone at the school but to my surprise im mistaken there are some of my classmates that eat at our classroom too well i at least theres less people here. i thought so i stayed and continued to eat my lunch

when suddenly they form this round chairs and invited me to eat lunch with them well i cant seem to find a reason to refuse so i just give in.

they talk about things like what's your food

or things that interest them and we shared our lunches.

and thats how i met my new friends

we found out we have the exact/same hobby that is to read a manhwa or comics

well ashly and eloisa became my friends

well there's one more its MAT.....

well after the lunch we just goes back to our seats and continued our study

well i dont really want to be too attached to my friend cuz maybe in the future well have to move to another city again but it seems like this is our last place and were settle here.

so i think its not bad if i get a little close to my friends.

and to the next day mary joined us in our classroom for lunch and we all bacame friends and exchange contacts.

well the teacher decides to re arrange our seats and change our seat mate's sooo

Mary is not my seatmate now but my new seatmate now is Mat.

well i said hi and he replied back with a hello

and the class starts we really didn't talk much or anything well after 3 subjects it's finally break time and Mary and i go to eat snacks at the school canteen and go back to our classroom and use the break time to talk and laugh "such a nice day" she said and she will make joke which is funny so i laughed.

well i really didn't think that after a few days we wont talk to each other because of someone.

In our fifth week in school Mary is dating another guy well this guy is not really close to me and i cant fake a personality to match his behaviors and thats how me and Mary umm stop talking well im the one that distances myself from them cause i dont want her boyfriend to think badly of me or misunderstood my relationship with Mary because were close and coincidentally when mary have a boyfriend our teacher re arrange our seats and Mary and me are no longer seatmates instead im seated next to MAT!...

The most last person i want to be seated with cause i dont really know him much and we arent close and my first impression of him is not good but not bad either. And i still dont know what kind of person he is..

Well im sure he wont mind me and interact with me much so i should just focus on studying right now.

But after a day he started talking to me well i just responded with simple reply out of kindness cause i know the feeling of asking a question to someone but they never reply or answer your questions.

But he started talking to me more often

Well atleast hes talking about our subjects and assignments so it doesn't matter.

Anyway i really got close to Ashly

And we started hanging out and we even planned to go to a mall and have a food there well ashly is amazing she know how to play the guitar and one time we went to the mall and while eating she played the guitar and started singing she really is talented

Well she said that i should sing along

Well i really dont sing outdoors and im shy but at that time my shyness just fade away and i sing along with her and it was

awesome

we hang out all the time and after school we always go to the mall to eat chat and sing or just share our own problem or who's annoying in class hahaha it was really a memory worth to remember

And there i found out how kind and amazing ashly is.

Well after a while we didn't go to the mall often now because of school work and were low on budget haha talk about being poor.

And aafter a couple of month there is a event in the mall we used to go and my mother invited me cause my mom is participating in the event and she will be dancing along with her co worker .

So i tagged along and we went there and

Its really loud and there are many people just seeing this many people drains my energy i really wanted to go home at that point but i cant because i have to record my mom well its not like i dont want to.

And while standing there at the back of the crowd alone someone approach me and said hi to me when i turn to look of who is it

I saw a man wearing a black cap and wearing a sling bag positioned in front of him and he is wearing dark blue pants and a shirt with red and white and some colors

And wearing a black face mask.

And i asked who he is he told me

"What you dont remember me anymore"

And i said "haha my memory is not really great ,so will you be kind enough to tell me who you are?"

......

He sighed clearly disappointed and he removed his face mask and said

"Its me Mat, your seatmate?! "

Im surprised and i said

" Oh its you , why are you here , are you here?"

He smiled and replied no i came with my father and mother

Turns out his father have some duty in this event i dont know what but his father is a former bodyguard of the mayor apparently.

Well we greet each other and his mother calls him and he have a brother, well he says goodbye and i just knodded and after he left

I blushed i dont know i just find him cool and cute in his outfit at the same time well i put on a poker face cause im in a public place.

Just remembering his smile is givinng me butterfly in my stomach

"What wrong with me it cant be a man gave me butterfly and maked me blush "

That cant be because im not gay!

And we arent even friends or are we?

How can i feel attracted to a man and whats worse its my classmate and my seatmate

Well im there thinking about it and thinking until the event is done and we finally head home im in a dazed and i cant sleep at night thinking what is happening to me..

Well i didn't notice that ive fallen asleep.....

The next day i was woken up by the noise of my siblings getting ready for school

Well yesterday was unexpected

Well today im nervous to go to school

I really dont have the strength to go and i want to sleep more but for the sake of perfect attendance i went to school today and walk in a hot weather i was sweating so much when i reach the school i reach at the time of 11:25

Well i saw Mat but i just went past by him i dont want to see him also i have chores in school its to clean the hallway its really tiring cuz i have to clean the hallway with Mat were in the same cleaning group some are grouped into 3 and have designated areas to clean and im grouped with Mat and romyel

Well its my duty so i just have to act normal and clean it then go to my seat but the problem is were seatmate i just cant seem to escape him i really wanted to stay away from him but i just cant i have to talk to him to not make it obvious that im ignoring him but that drains my energy fast,

But thank god iam an ambivert i have extra energy reserved hah im joking,

Well anyway back to the topic i really am having a hard time pretending.

Well he's kind and great but i just dont want to be closer to him.

Well i often just stay quiet or hang out with somebody just to limit or lessen the time have to spend with him

Well that's all i c