'Kui', the girl said to me. She had a large smile on her face and an equally large ice cream in her hand. 'I treat you to this ice cream.'

'Really?' The naive me asked, not understanding her sudden actions. This girl had been in my class for three years and had never even talked to me. But then she said.

'But after that you should take me to your home!' and I knew the reason.

Growing up I encountered many instances like this.

'Kui, Let's finish the homework at your home.'

The girls in my middle school said.

'Eh?' I felt confused. I was not used to doing homework together with them. They were practically the most popular girls in our class. The barbie dolls. They didn't talk to me everyday.Then they said

'Is your brother at home at home?' I got what they want.

The girls in high school were more discreet. When the school belles appraoached me ttalking to me, I was surprised.

'Let me show you how to make up like this one. ' They said showing me the photograph of my favorite superstar.

'But let's do it at your home-! We are best friends, Right?' And I almost believed them.

But I should have remembered.I have never been invited by girls to go out since my childhood. I didn't know why. It was clearly my twin brother who was the more popular guguy. But I believed I had at least a few friends. But fortunately my misunderstandings were cleared soon by my so called friends.

'Why can't I go with you?' I asked as I held onto her hand. She and her friends were going to the mall to shop but they refused to take me with them.

'Don't you think we are good friends? ' I asked once again, desperate.

Then she turned to look at me and I mean really look at me. Her eyes were filled with so much hatred and jealousy that I shuddered. 'Tsk, Kui! ' she said, 'Are you really a fool or you are pretending to be one? '

And she smirked at my confused expression and continued,

'But for your brother, ' and I hung onto her words, 'Who will make friends with you? Weirdo. '

'Who will like your sullen look! '

'WEIRDO. Ha-Ha. '

And their words continued to ech in my mind for a long time.

'Who will like your sullen look! '

'WEIRDO. Ha-Ha. '

'Who will like your sullen look! '

'WEIRDO. Ha-Ha. '

'Who will like your sullen look! '

'WEIRDO. Ha-Ha. '

It continued to echo until I started believing in them and at last I repeated.

'I am a weirdo. No one will ever like me. '

And I began to cry. And thus my story started.

From the day we were born, my brother had always been more popular than me.Probably it was because he was a boy or probably it was because he was five minutes older than me. But he had always been more popular. My grandparents were rich and my parents richer. And I could always get the same share of pocket money as my brother, probably even more if I asked. Because they refused to give my brother money due to his habit of not controlling his spending.But unfortunately for me forgot to give me something they gave my brother in abundance. Attention. I knew they loved me but their love never showed itself in their actions.

And I wanted just that attention. From the time I came to realize I began to compete with my brother in everything. And I surprisingly won. I got the best grades in kindergarten, I came first in the running race, I wrote the best poem in the class, I drew the best picture in the class. And my brother came second in everything. But when we came home.

"Mama, I got the best grades in the class."

"Hmmm...What did your brother get?"

"Papa, I came first today."

"Oh! How did your brother do?"

"Mama, See I wrote a poem on you today."

"Really? What did your brother write about?"

"Papa, Look I drew a picture of you today. The teacher said it’s very good."

"Uhhu...Where is your brother now?"

At that time I was a cute little girl with large blue eyes and long brown hair. I used to wear cute little dresses and greet everyone amiably. I was just five year old then.

I did everything I could to earn my parent's approval, to get their attention. But they never looked at me. For them it was just my brother. My brother who looked very much like me but was a boy. At last one day I had enough. I wanted to be a boy like her brother. I wanted my parents to care for me and not just keep on asking about my brother.

So, one day I woke up, took the scissors and chopped down my lovely hip length brown hair into the smallest pieces I could muster with my trembling hands. And then I went on to tear all my pretty little dresses apart until I had no more left. Then I dropped the scissors onto the floor and climbed onto my bed to hide myself under the blanket. I was in a withdrawal state when my nanny found me in my beaten state, trembling with a very high fever.

I was rushed to the hospital and the doctors said I might die but I survived. I stayed in hospital for five days and my nanny stayed with me. My brother came to visit me too. But my parents never came. They were too busy with their work. My nanny asked if she should buy new clothes for me. I said yes but I need boy's clothes. I was discharged from the hospital.

Everyone said that it was fortunate, I survived. But they didn’t knew that Kui died in the hospital that day. The girl that left the hospital was a different person. A girl who dressed like a boy, who refused to talk to anybody and who had no friends at all. In the eyes of others I became a weirdo. In my eyes I became the person I was supposed to be from the very start.

Because from that day my parents did notice me. They told I was acting weird and creepy. I was not acting like their daughter. But I didn’t care because I was happy. They finally noticed me and I thought it was because I had become like my brother. It never occurred to me that it was because I changed. Because even they began to suspect that I had become what everyone called me behind my back. A WEIRDO !!!!