Dear Diary,

I'm the eldest daughter in our family. I'm only 14 and in secondary school. My parents, especially my mom are very proud of me. I was a top student way back in grade school, attended mass every Sunday, and even joined the choir in both school and church.

Everything seems fine at first. Not until that family reunion happened. My mom met again her cousin after almost a decade of not seeing each other. They shared a lot of stories about their life. My mom was so proud to tell her about my school achievements, but her cousin proudly flexed the photos of her son, my second cousin's achievements too. There, I also saw the photos of her son with so numerous medals, trophies, and certificates. He was also able to have a photo with their Mayor and other highly profiled personalities in their place. Aside from that, he was also a part of their barangay's Sangguniang Kabataan, an organization of youth under the vision of the barangay council. He even serves as a sacristan in their chapel every first Sunday of the month.

Starting that day, my mom forced me to be better at school. I thought being a top student is good enough for her but now seems she changed her perception of my future. She wants this, she wants that, keeps on reminding me about her dos and don'ts policy. Monitoring my every single day of life. That sucks.

I know to myself that I am an introverted person. I'm not fond of those things that she was asking me to be. My anxiety attacks every time she's forcing me to make socializing with her friend and colleagues. My heart also shattered whenever she's scolding me when I'm doing my hobbies, painting, and drawing. She never supports me with these things. Not even when I finished writing a mother-and-son novel that I dedicated to her. She said that I was just wasting my time on gibberish things. That hurts. Really bad.

She even started to throw me hurtful words every time I failed to get a perfect score in exams. Or if one of her friend's daughters same my age got an opportunity to expose talents in public or social media. She always says that I should be like them, and how she envied the parents of those kids for having them. I was wondering if she ever thought about my feelings while right at that moment hearing those hurtful words from her.

I wanted to talk to her about how I feel. To ask her to lose up at least once in a while her tight discipline. To tell her how tiring it was to be her child anymore. That I can't breathe the burden she was given me. Sometimes I even wished I was never born. Or even envy our pets cats and dog for they are more loved by my mom than me, her child. But how? How can I even say a single word to her about this? I'm so afraid to ask her. To tell her how I feel about it. How can I tell her without disappointing and hurting her feelings? How can I ever help myself escape from this fate? I'm so exhausted.

^^^Love,^^^

^^^Ella^^^

Dear Diary,

It's been a year since the last time I opened up this story of mine. Way back in 2020, my high school days is indeed one of the most roller coaster experiences in my life. I was just an ordinary student who consistently with honor. I know that there are more students smarter than me, and prettier than me but it doesn't matter. My high school life is better than the others. I guess. I have supportive parents, great teachers, and peers, and most importantly is that I have my best friend Belle who's always by my side.

We've been together since grade school, we're like real siblings since our moms were also friends. We mostly played together during the summer vacation and when we turned teenagers, we often stayed at a cafeteria for an hour sharing secrets about our crushes. We also loved to window shop in town after school and dream to buy the things we'd seen in the mall. I can still remember when she gave me a gift on my 16th birthday, it was a nice personalized pink handkerchief as she knows my favorite color with a floral frame. In the upper corner was written my name, "Alisa" while on the other side was hers, "Belle". In the center of the handkerchief was the word "BEST FRIENDS", all words were embroidered. I so love it. She's the sweetest friend I ever met.

Belle is way prettier than me with her long shiny hair, smooth and whiter skin complexion, and good body figure at a very young age. Not to mention that her family is a wealthy people who have a marketing business in town. I know she's way better than me with those things but I also know one thing where I'm excellently than her. In academics.

Way back then Belle and Jerome -our childhood friends, used to spend their time at our house asking for my help with our homework, and sometimes even with projects or reviews. I was like their tutor and they're my tutees. Belle knows how much I liked Jerome that much that's why she always asked him to go to and study at my house. That was another treasured moment for me, and how I appreciate Belle's effort to make me happy in return.

Times pass so fast, and the only thing I know is that I and Jerome we're so in love with each other. We kept our puppy-love relationship with everyone except for Belle. The two of us were inseparable in school and even during weekends, we make sure to see each other. Belle was so supportive and tolerant of us whenever we asked her for help to escape. She knows everything about me and Jerome well.

The next school year was a bit tough as we enter the senior high and were required to choose the strands. I took STEM while they both took HUMMS. By then, I was separated from their building leads us to see each other in school barely. We also lessen the time spent at the weekend since some of our subjects were not the same. That time, I and Jerome still managed to see each other after school even for a few minutes before heading home.

One vacant afternoon in school, I decided to visit them in their building, knowing that they might be vacant because it was a faculty emergency meeting from both departments. I saw Belle sitting on the chair and Jerome on the table so close to her. They were both laughing while talking to their classmates. Then I knocked on the door. They were both startled and Jerome almost jump off the table when he saw me. I laughed hard when I see his reaction. I know that he and Belle were just close friends and there's nothing wrong with what I saw. I trusted him. I trusted them.

The intramurals came, and everyone was so busy. Our departments were competing for the grand trophy. Belle was competing as the muse representative of their department while I was competing in Math Chess. The latter was held that morning while the muse and escort competition was in the afternoon. I invited Jerome to watch me at the conference hall contending with the other math wizards in school. He came and good lucked me but during the game, I noticed that he was looking at his cell phone from time to time. As if he was checking and waiting for someone's message. I just ignored the thoughts.

That afternoon, Belle invited me and Jerome to watch and support her in the muse competition. We were in the gymnasium where it was held and the crowd was so enthusiastic about their bet contenders. I excused him for a while and told him that I will just buy some snacks, and so I went quickly to the cafeteria. and finally came back to our seats.

There, where the crowd is so loud, I witnessed how Jerome is so supportive of Belle without noticing me. He almost lost his voice after shouting Belle's name. "That's my Belle! My gorgeous Belle!" he shouts repeatedly. "Slay, my Queen Belle! Slay!" he added. I was astonished after hearing from him those words. It's like I was poured icy cold water over my body. The crowd is loud yet I was deafened hearing his words. "That should be me he is cheering". My head is screaming but I can find no words to utter then. My heart was shattered. It feels like my heart was sta@bbed a hundred or a thousand times by a small kniv3s. I was silently crying in silence deep down inside. I can't pour tears into the crowd but it felt like I was about to burst anytime soon. So I just ran to nowhere. I just ran without knowing where to go, with my tears started to slip from my eyes.

I cried a lot and more. I even wasn't able to finish the program in school because of crying. I just realized that I was more than an hour hiding behind the junked chairs and tables in one of the abandoned rooms in the old building. When I checked the time, it was almost 5 in the afternoon, and I know that the program for that day is over. I was about to get up when I heard two familiar voices hushed talking.

"Do you think she heard you saying those words?" asked Belle.

"I think so, because if she wasn't, then why she didn't come back to our seats then? Or maybe she just stays out of the crowd. We both know how she hates crowded places." Jerome answered, sounding irritated.

"Then if she did hear you, what are we gonna do now? She might get upset or mad at me. On us." bothered Belle said.

"Then I will tell her the truth, that I don't love her from the beginning, that I only needed her help to survive my studies," Jerome uttered confidently.

My heart was so wreck3d hearing it from him. Was I just a thing for him? A thing that he can dump when he's done using it? When he doesn't need it? That was so unbearable but I still manage to cry in silence. Hide from junked stuff like a real one. I was a dump and junked by him easily.

"No! You can't do that. We can't do that to Alisa. She's still our friend. We can just explain to her that we just fell in love with each other without us noticing it. That it wasn't our intention to hide it from her. How 'bout that?" she advised.

"Well, I guess that way is better. I'll do what you wished, my real love, Belle." Jerome changed the tone of his voice. Like a seductive guy to a girl.

"I LOVE YOU" I heard from Belle, her voice was so soft almost a whisper. My best friend is telling my man how she loves him. I felt my body shiver full of mixed emotions. I was so jealous, badly mad, and devastated at the same time.

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE" Jerome answered. His voice was so soft and full of sincerity. That voice that I never heard from him since we were together, the sincerity that I never felt from him when he was telling me those words.

Why do I never notice that before?

Then, a few seconds of stillness between the two of them.

I bitterly smirked and finally came out from where I was hiding. There, I witnessed how Jerome tenderly kissed Belle. The look in their eyes was so full of love as they stare at each other. Then Jerome moved slowly to gently feel Belle's lips by his lips. His lips that I had never yet wanted to kiss, were kissing my best friend's lips passionately.

I can't even believe that they came to that part. I was a split-second shocked as if I dropped my jaw seeing them kissing in front of me. But I exhaled and fixed myself together easily. I know I was trembling inside and how vulnerable I was to overcome that moment but I choose not to be a loser anymore in front of them.

"You real think that I was that stup!d not to notice everything before this day happened?" I interrupted their romantic moment. They were both stunned seeing me in fierce eyes. Like a beast. A beast with composure.

"You did hear us, didn't you?" Belle asked nervously.

"Of course I did. I heard and witnessed everything." I replied confidently. I did a slow clap gesture to lessen my trembling yet cold voice. "Curtains down. The show is over." I added.

"Alisa, please let me explain" Belle pleaded to me

"I said I heard everything. What should I expect more from you two? Sugar-coated words to fool me again?" I declined with an intimidating look.

Belle was about to hold or hug me but I avoided her and stared at him from head to toe. "Don't you ever try to come close to me, you filthy b!tch!" I frowned.

"And you, son of a b!tch! Yes, you!" I pointed to Jerome's pale face, "Don't you ever dare to show me that hideous disgusting face ever again! We're done!"

I ran out of them after saying those nasty yet a bit satisfying words. That night I skipped dinner and told my mom that I'm still full and tired from the school activities. I locked my door and wept. I cried not only for that night but a week until a month after. I cried a lot for my heartaches but I cried the most for losing my best friend.

It's been almost 3 years since that thing happened. I never had a chance to talk to them or asked about them after our confrontation. The pink handkerchief that Belle's last birthday gift to me is still in my treasure box. I still keep it, because I still believe that she was once loyal to me, that we really became best of friends. With or without Jerome in our life. But even if I understood her, it still hurts me so deeply that she fooled me all those times. I might even hurt her too badly unintentionally when I and Jerome were together, every time she helped us to see each other, and whenever we said sweet words in exchange.

I might once ravage by them but I just realized that I might also hurt them too.. Or maybe it's fate's game that we need to play the hide and seek of true love tho. I don't know now. All I know is that I'm still healing my broken heart all over this time. Hopefully to find the right man who will accept and love me wholeheartedly.

^^^Love,^^^

^^^Alisa 💔^^^

Dear Diary,

I'm a long-time reader of stories from Mangatoon and this is the first time I'm sharing my experience using this social media platform. Mangatoon is like my escape from the chaos of the world, here, while reading myriad stories from different writers, I can at least feel at home. This is where I ran from reality, where stories I read here are more realistic than my real world.

Aside from reading manga, chat stories, and novels, I also joined numerous GCs or fan groups. It is one of the platform's features to make users communicate with other readers or writers from different countries. In there, we spend time chit-chatting on random topics, sharing thoughts and dreams, and even playing virtual games like truth or dare and many more. I so love Mangatoon more than any social media platform I have.

I'm also active in all those GCs but there's this one particular GC to me that is so precious to my heart. I'll hide it in the name of Cupid's Lair Group. This GC is so special to me because this is where I met my closest friends from various countries. I'm also one of the admins in that group which makes me love it more than any group I have. And lastly, this is the GC where I met Alex.

Alex is a Filipino MT user. Like me, he also loves spending time browsing Mangatoon by reading manga and sending funny memes in our common GC, Cupid's Lair. He also sometimes joins the games when he's not busy and even sends his audio message singing some famous songs from Spotify and sometimes even unfamiliar songs. He was so witty and funny to be with, and the first thing I learned is that I'm falling in love with him.

One time when we were playing truth or dare in GC, it was my turn I chose to dare. Lulu, one of my closest friends dare me to flirt with Alex for 24hrs. To be honest, I was really shy to accept the dare but I was also very excited about the idea of flirting with him. At first, I chat with him in private, or what we called here "PC" Private Chat. I told him about the dare I got and he just cracked up and said that it was all fine with him to flirt with me. That time, I feel so relieved and was so happy to talk to him in private.

That night, I started to message him privately with casual conversation and ask him some personal things. I can still remember his replies and our conversation.

"That's nice. So what's your favorite genre then?" I asked shyly. Trying to prolong the boring talk we started.

"Hmm, adventure and manhua 😉" he replied so snappy, "Is this how you flirt with me? C'mon, let's make it more interesting. So do you have a boyfriend or someone special now?" he asked frankly.

I was so tense to reply and tell him the truth but I still managed to reply sounding confident. "I don't have a boyfriend even though I have a lot of suitors from here and outside the MT. But yes, I have someone special in my heart that I adored not so long ago." I answered candidly.

"Is he from MT?" he asked. At that moment, I can feel the outpouring beat of my heart.

"Yes. He's from MT and he's also in Cupid's Lair GC." I responded ostensibly.

"Now I'm so jealous. Who's the lucky guy who catches your heart?" I know he was just teasing me but I feel urgent to confess to him bout my feelings. But I also have to keep it secret. At least that time.

"I guess he is indeed a lucky guy but I'm still hoping that he also likes me back." calming myself and keeping reticent.

"How I wish it was me then" he just answered. I was so confused. Does he teasing me and doing it for my dare or was he telling me such serious things because he means it?

"Alex, do you like me? Are you serious about asking me that thing?" I asked. I can't help myself asking him these things bothering me now. Likewise, I was so eager to know the truth.

"Yes, I mean, I have a crush on you a lot. I like you," he replied quickly.

I was shocked. Astounded by what he said. Is this for real? I can't help myself from widely smiling alone in my room while chatting with him. It took me a few seconds or minutes before I replied to him.

"Alex" I can't construct the phrases or sentences that I want to convey. I was so eager to confess my feelings for him. Willing to take risks and consequences of what might happen next. "It is you. The one I was talking about. The one who took my heart in the MT world." I explained.

"Is that true, babe? I mean, you like me back then?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes, Alex. I like you so much. I don't know how it all started but I was falling for you deeply day by day." I may look pathetic for confessing feelings for a foreign guy but I know that my affection for him is true. That it is not just simple liking or having a crush on him, but I know I'm in love. I love Alex.

Starting that night we stayed up so late, exchanging words of endearment, sharing thoughts and experiences in life. We were so alike, from simple things like our favorite foods, genres of music and films, and hobbies. We also used to have a call sign endearment like a real lover do. We call each other "babe" even though we are not officially committed to each other yet. Fling partners, that's what we are. But who cares? Does it even matter? I'll be fine with that as long as we have this mutual understanding. That we both like each other.

Days passed instantaneously so as my feelings for him. I love him deeper each day that passed. My days are not complete without his presence, without him texting me or sending audio records of himself singing love songs, serenading me with his voice so sweet. The voice he used to call my name. The voice I always heard saying to me the words "I love you".

It was late May when he started to get busy because of work. He said that he might not be able to message me frequently in the coming days because of an overload of paperwork. I understood that because I know how hard it is in an office works. I also considered our time zones with almost half of the day difference. Patiently waiting for his PC whenever he's visiting some GCs, especially in Cupid's Lair. Not even obliged or ask him to spend time with me at night even though I was dying to hear his voice again. I understood everything about him.

One night, in early June, I visited Cupid's Lair GC but didn't join their games or even in their chitchat. I just don't feel like joining, I guess I wasn't in the mood to show my presence in any GCs. I was just reading their endless talks about random things. What captures my attention was that one unfamiliar member sent an audio record in GC. "🖤Kraft💀". That was the name of that member. Then someone named "🖤CoOkiEs💀" replied complimenting the audio record sent in the GC.

Perhaps they're lovers in MT. I thought to myself. Assuming that they're MT lovers because of their couple profile photos and even their ID names. Kraft is the company name of Oreo wherein Oreo is a chocolate cookie. How sweet. I feel like longing more for Alex just thinking about these two MT couples.

Out of curiosity, I tapped the audio record sent by "🖤Kraft💀" in GC to listen. To my surprise, I heard a very familiar voice singing the English version of a Korean song. I tapped it again to listen carefully to that voice. I was so sure that it was the voice of Alex. But I was so confused and in denial of what I heard. How come? How does it happen? To confirm if it is him, I stalked the profile of "🖤Kraft💀" and tapped the chat button. I was astounded yet wrecked-hearted when I saw our last conversations. He was indeed Alex. He just changed his profile photo and ID name. He changed it after that girl named "🖤CoOkiEs💀" whose profile photo and ID name did too.

"Why Alex? Why?" I mumbled. Tears started to drift from my cheeks. I questioned myself many times while crying. Where did I go wrong? Am I not sweet and caring? Did I say or do wrong? Why so suddenly change? I thought you were so in love with me. I thought you were so busy with work to save money for your Visa once you visit me here in our country. Where are all those plans and promises now? I can find no answer to my questions.

"Hi, babe how are you? I badly missed you." I messaged him an hour after I cried. "You change your pfp and ID name huh?" I added. I was trying to test him if he'll tell me what he was going through. I waited for his reply but he didn't message me that night. Maybe he's already busy. I don't know.

The next day, I received a message from him. He just said that he was so busy with work. He even barely calls me "babe" in chats. I don't even receive any audio record from him. Not even heart stickers or emojis. He treated me cold day by day and it hurts me like my heart was continuously stabbed by him. I wasn't active in GCs after that moment I discovered what he did but I still monitor them whenever they talked in GCs. I was silently reading their sweet conversations in GC. Yet his only excuse is that he was so busy with work every time I asked and messaged him.

I was dumped by my MT lover. He may not be telling it to me directly but his actions speak louder than any words to describe it. I feel pity for myself for loving him. I even came to the point of thinking to change my approach to him. To be more submissive like a daring seductive woman to their man. But I resented that idea. Loving him was a mistake, I guess. And doing such things might make it more complicated knowing the fact that we are not officially in a relationship.

"Can we talk? I just want to ask you about that girl named Cookies. What are you two up to? I want to make things clear once and for all. Please reply if you read this." I messaged him one night. I guess I still have the right to ask such things.

"I told you, I was so busy and had no time for PC. About Cookies, she is only my friend like a flirty partner but only in GC. It was also a dare that we need to use a couple PFPs." he answered but I didn't bother to respond.

I was so confused and still puzzling in my mind. He keeps on denying their relationship even if I hold a lot of evidence. I wasn't that active on GCs that's why I guess he wasn't aware that I always read their sweet talks in GC. My heart still aches just thinking about him with another girl in the group. I want to help myself to get over him. To forget about us. To remind me of my worth. I don't deserve to be dumped and fooled by someone who cowardly hides his smelly actions.

Up to this moment, I'm still hoping that he realized what he has done to me. He still keeps on denying things but I started to love myself more than anything. I just need a proper closure to help myself heal. It still hurts, but I know everything will be fine soon little by little.

^^^Love,^^^

^^^Mistake^^^