Can I Love You?
Sara, The Fallen Star
A 10-year-old Sara looked up. Stargazing through the hospital window. The stars always fascinated her young mind. Sometimes she felt like she was part of them.
Her small red lips parted as she called her mother.
Sara
Stars are so pretty tonight. One day, when my time here is finished. I'll be one of them, right?
Her mother's body shook as tears fell down on her cheek.
Sara's Momma
No! Don't ever say that, Baby.
Sara
But I wanna be the prettiest star up there, Momma!
Sara's Momma
*Deep breathes* Sara, you don't have to be a star. You are already my prettiest little angel.
Sara was too young to understand. So her mother engulfed her in a comforting hug.
Sara's Momma
No! Momma won't let you go, Baby. Sara should stay with Momma forever.
City A. Around 6 years later.
Sara's Momma
Baby, come down. You'll be late for the monthly check-up.
Sara stared at her own reflection for the last time. Pale & skinny. Nothing had changed since then. Sometimes she saw herself as a ghost. Barely living between life & death.
Often she wished that The God of Death would take her. But when she thought about her mother and her younger sister, she told herself to be strong. At least for now because seeing her mother crying in the middle of the night pained her more.
Sara closed her bedroom door and greeted her mother downstairs. Trying to sound as excited as she could be.
Sara's Momma
Morning, Baby. If the check-up result is good, you can go back studying at school. Isn't that exciting?
Sara nodded with a smile on her pale face. Even though she didn't feel any excitement inside.
Sara had been homeschooled for almost her entire life. She was comfortable with her condition, so joining senior high school didn't excite her that much. But her momma wanted her to experience the Joy of being a real student, even if it was only for a year or ... less.
After 2 hours of examination, the check-up was finally finished. Sara asked her mother to see the result on her behalf. She never believed in any of the result because the only person who understood what was going on with her body was herself. Not those so-called doctors.
Sara took a familiar path from the hospital to the small park she frequently visited during her check-up. Passing the green grass across the road, she finally arrived at her destination.
Six years ago, an elite school was built two blocks away from the hospital. The school was just across the small park where she stood right now.
Sara usually sat on the farthest bench or under the shade of a big tree. Anywhere that could hide her presence from the students' eyes.
Students love to have their lunch there. When the sun was too hot, they'd sit under the shade of trees. Chatting away or simply enjoying the greens. Sara liked to observe them. But the main reason why Sara liked to hang out there was because a certain student.
Sara lowered her bucket hat as she noticed the said person walking with her friends. She looked gorgeous today, too, as expected. Sara hummed happily, still stealing glances at the girl.
Since two years ago, Sara had been watching her from afar. She overheard her friends call her Joanne. The name suited the girl somehow.
Sara watched Joanne eating and talking with her friends happily. The winds messing the girl's long dark hair a little. Still, Joanne looked breathtaking.
A sudden tap on her shoulder broke Sara's stare. It was her Momma.
Sara's Momma
You really like sitting here, huh?
Sara nodded. Eyes still on Joanne.
Sara's Momma
I've got your medical result, and I'm so happy, Baby!"
Sara smiled at her momma. As long as her momma is happy, she'll pretend that she's happy as well.
Sara's Momma
Starting next week, you'll attend that school, Baby. *pointed to the building across them*
Sara's eyes widened. That school??
Sara's Momma
I enrolled you a few weeks ago. The headmistress is my friend, and I like the school because it is near the hospital. It's pretty convenient.
Sara glanced briefly at Joanne and her friends.
Sara
Are you sure I should attend that school?
Sara's Momma
Yes. I thought you liked that school. Was I wrong?
Sara
I do like the school. It just-
Sara's Momma
Great then! I just want you to be happy, Baby.
Sara
I am happy, Mommy. You don't have to worry much.
Sara's Momma
Still, I want you to experience high school. You'll start next week. Aren't you excited?
Sara let out a smile again, just to make her mother happy. But deep inside ... she felt empty. Her eyes looked dull when she didn't try to mask her sadness.
Staring at the leaving students and the giggling Joanne, Sara asked herself, 'Happiness? ... What is that??'
Sara, The New Kid
Sara dyed her long dark hair to light blond. She put on a deep red tint over her lips (mainly to hide her pale complexion).
Whoa, she looked like a rebel!
Downstairs, Sara hugged her happy but crying momma before getting into her family car. A Benz. Too extra, but her own car hasn't arrived yet. She got no choice.
Her momma bought her a Porsche as a congratulatory gift for attending senior high school. Really, her momma didn't have to, but she did anyway. It wasn't like Sara would drive the car herself. Her momma wouldn't allow her to. So she had her momma's driver, Mr. Park, who would send her to and from school, but she would try to convince her momma to let her drive on her own someday.
As Sara stepped out of her car. All eyes were instanstly on her. She was a stranger. A catchy stranger with light-colored hair and red lips. She looked gorgeous despite her pale skin.
Sara strutted to Principal Jung's office without care. People can stare!
A few days after Sara's grand entrance to the school, she earned two new nicknames, 'another arrogant kid' and 'super annoying rich kid'. She earned one of the 'honorable' nicknames from none other than Joanne Bae. Yes, her last name was Bae. How lovely was that?
But what an irony to be labelled as 'another arrogant kid'. She was judged by almost the entire students just because she confidently challenged their beloved student union's president for a math quiz. She did it for fun, but apparently, President Kim's so-called 'hardcore' fans didn't take her joke well. Hmm.
As for the 'super annoying rich kid' nickname ... It was a different story.
Sara greeted as she walked backward with arms crossed behind her head.
It was Joanne's usual reply to Sara.
Sara
Good. Because my love is enough for both of us. *chuckles*
Joanne stared deeply at Sara. She seemed weirded out.
Joanne
Why are you so annoying, Lee?
Lee was Sara's last name. Sara Lee.
Sara had been bugging Joanne since her first day of school. She openly declared that she liked Joanne in front of their classmates. Sara had nothing to lose, so she chose to be the straightforward, blunt, annoying girl to Joanne.
Sara
Annoying? I'm just showing my affection, Jo. *winks*
Joanne
Don't call me 'Jo'. You are not my friend!
Joanne shoved Sara aside before sped walking to their classroom. Leaving the sick girl behind.
Sara's laugh boomed in the corridor.
Suddenly, a book lightly hit her head.
Lily
Why can't you be a normal girl and ask Joanne out like a normal person would do?
Lily was Joanne's best friend but she didn't find Sara annoying. Weirdly, Lily was quite fond of her.
Sara
Because I'm not normal to begin with.
Sara chuckled at her own joke because it was true. She WASN'T normal. Her heart didn't develop normally. So she was indeed an anomally to the world since she was born.
Lily
*Sighs* Trust me, Joanne would agree to be your friend if you ask her nicely.
Sara
Friend? *scoffs* I'm not interested to be her friend. Besides, being normal is not fun.
Sara didn't answer her question and just pointed to the basketball court beside them.
Lily
The basketball players? What about them, Sara?
Sara
You told me that almost all of them had asked Joanne out.
Lily
Well, yeah, and Joanne had rejected them all. Poor boys. They stand no chance.
Sara
Right. That's why I will keep bugging her.
Lily scratched her head. She was confused.
Sara
I don't want to get rejected and remembered as another admirer because I'm different.
Lily
But that doesn't mean you need to annoy Joanne every day. She'll hate your guts rather than like you.
Sara
Well, at least she'll think of me a little bit more every day and that's enough for me.
Lily stopped walking as she stared at Sara in wonder.
Lily
I didn't expect that answer.
Sara
Expect the unexpected, my friend because I, Sara Lee, will rock Joanne Bae's world.
Sara pointed to Joanne who was talking to their classmates, and then she tilted her head to Lily with a smug smile on her face.
Am I Gonna Die?
As soon as Lily stepped into the classroom, she found a grumpy Joanne throwing daggers at Sara, who simply winked at her friend.
Joanne snorted in disgust from time to time.
Lily
What's up with the grumpy face?
Joanne
I'm annoyed with you-know-who!
Lily
*chuckles* You mean Voldemort? I didn't know that you're a potter head, Jo!
Joanne
Descendant of him, in the form of Sara Lee!
Lily
*shrugs* Well, she seems cool to me.
Joanne
That's because she doesn't annoy you as much as she annoys me. Do you see my eyebags? I've been thinking about how to make her shut up & leave me alone for the rest of the school year!
Lily stared at her friend in amusement. "Wow, she does think about Sara. Even more than her other admirers!", Lily thought.
Lily
What does she want? A date??
Joanne nodded while sighing.
Joanne
I always tell her no, but she's still persistent. Bugging me everyday! *getting angrier by seconds*
Lily
Maybe she really likes you. Others would give up after one rejection.
Joanne
One needs to know when to stop! I'm not interested in her. Ugh, I'm so annoyed!
Lily
Calm down, Jo. You gonna get wrinkles before 20!
Joanne
I can't! *glares intensify at Sara*
Sara never runs because her doctor forbid her but on the last check-up, he said she was in good condition, so she might as well try.
Sara smiled inwardly. Being a star runner was her childhood dream. But she couldn't live up to her dream due to her illness.
Her classmates started to fill the gym. Her eyes scanned them until she found Joanne walking with Lily.
Sara
She's shining like a star.
Sara admired Joanne's slim figure. The girl was petite like her and laughed like an old grandma. So giggly and loud! But in her eyes, Joanne was so perfect.
Sara was smiling widely until she caught Joanne's gym shorts.
Sara
*frowns* Isn't that too short?
Sara saw the girl was a bit uncomfortable in it. Could it be that the size is wrong?
Sara stood up from the ground and walked to the locker room. She didn't bring her gym jacket today off all day. So she grabbed her clean long-sleeved shirt without much thinking. She would use her P.E. Shirt until the last period. No biggies. People can enjoy her sweaty smell!
Sara
Put it around your waist.
Joanne looked up at her and then the shirt in her hand while Lily just grinned knowingly beside her friend.
Sara
As much as I like the view, it pains me that others enjoy them too.
Joanne
*frowns* What are you talking about?
Sara
Your plumpy buttcheeks that are being squeezed under your tight & very short shorts.
Sara had no shame admitting that she kept her eyes at the other girl's bottom.
Meanwhile, Joanne blushed in embarassment. She grabbed the shirt and immediately put it around her waist.
Sara
Only for you. *laughs*
They engaged in another small banter before Sara moved away.
Lily
She's protecting your dignity, Jo.
Joanne
Fine. She's quite nice but she's still annoying!
Joanne rolled her eyes as she heard their teacher call Sara's name.
Watching from afar, Joanne saw Sara stood on the track field along with 5 other students.
Sara
Shit, I'm going to run for real! *mumbles*
Sara was actually nervous. She would be running for the first time in her life. Should she go with left leg or right leg first?
She didn't have much time to think as Mr. Soo blew the whistle.
Sara yelled so loudly and made a few of her classmates giggle in response.
Running on her short legs felt so good! Sara relieved on the feeling. On how the wind played with her hair. She felt liberated.
Sara even had time to annoy Joanne. She waved her hands at scowling Joanne. She laughed and kept running until a familiar pain echoed inside her chest.
Sara thought that it would disappear, but the pain increased as she came to her 2nd and last lap.
Sara gasped when the pain was too much to bear. Her breath became erratic. She stopped running to catch on her breath and wipe her sweat. She needed to calm down.
Sara
I can't continue running. *in pain*
Sara slowly walked to her teacher and excused herself from continuing the run. She told her teacher that she had a 'period cramps'. Apparently, this teacher didn't know about her illness.
Her classmates, including Joanne, were watching her with confusion, but she was in too much pain to care.
Sara put her hand on top of her heart. It was beating so fast that her vision gradually blurred as she neared the locker room.
Slam! *sounds of the door getting slammed*
Sara
Getting better, my ***! *takes out her phone from her locker*
Sara slumped her back on the wall. She shouldn't have trusted her doctor. He's always lying!
Gasping for air, she turned on her phone to call her driver.
Sara
Mr. Park ... *smiles* I-I think I'm gonna die.
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