I Hate Love Stories
Episode 1 - He Rises
Sophia Lavender
I literally thought you were dead.
I glared at the man that stood in front of me. It’s been two weeks since I last saw him or heard from him, aside from his daily social media posts, that is.
Sophia Lavender
You have some nerve showing up at my door step.
Raymond Speed
Soph, listen to me. I didn’t mean to ghost you but...
He hesitated for a moment.
Sophia Lavender
‘But,’ what?
Raymond Speed
You were getting a little too...
He paused and scanned me up and down. I suddenly felt extremely self conscious about my appearance. Here I am, standing at my front door step with no makeup, my hair everywhere in a tangled mess, while wearing my pink, unicorn bath robe and pjs arguing with this (as much as I would hate to admit it) incredibly handsome man that could be on the cover of Vogue if he wanted to. But I couldn’t back down now.
Raymond Speed
You were getting too clingy.
Raymond Speed
Really? So you-
Sophia Lavender
SO you think that the best way to address your girlfriend being too “clingy” is to disappear off the face of the earth for TWO WEEKS, never contacting her and making her think you were dead, only to find out through social media that you went to a vacation retreat out of the country.
Sophia Lavender
I WAS STARTING TO PLAN YOUR FUNERAL YOU BASTARD!
I was yelling at this point. No doubt Ms. Mary, my next door neighbor, would make a complaint to the community leaders. But I didn’t care.
Raymond Speed
I’m glad you care for me so much-
Sophia Lavender
Listen, Raymond. I called you. I texted you. I called your mother. I called your sister. I called your friends and everyone, nobody knew where you were.
Sophia Lavender
I was worried sick.
Sophia Lavender
And you couldn’t send one, measly text that could have said “Hey Babe! I’m alright! No need to hire a group of private detectives to find me! I’m just on a vacation to get away from you!”
Raymond Speed
Did you hire a group of private detectives?
Yeah, so what if I did? And so what if they were completely incompetent and basically stole half of my savings. I was worried.
Sophia Lavender
That’s not the point.
Sophia Lavender
The point is, now all of a sudden you show up at my door step telling me you’re sorry. Oh wait, I take that back. I have not heard anything remotely similar to an apology since you rang my door bell 20 minutes ago.
Raymond Speed
Apologize? Do I need to? If anything, you should be apologizing to me. I put a lot of money into that retreat, so I’m sure you’ve realized by now how to be a good girlfriend and not be so clingy.
Sophia Lavender
You came here wanting me to apologize to you?
Raymond Speed
Well, no, actually. That wasn’t my original plan.
Sophia Lavender
*sigh* Why are you here, Raymond?
Raymond Speed
I texted you 2 hours ago. To celebrate my return I thought we could go out to brunch with some friends.
I stare at this man in disbelief. I don’t know what to even say to him. I suddenly feel emotionally exhausted. I look up at Raymond.
Sophia Lavender
Goodbye, Raymond. We are done. I’m done.
Raymond Speed
Wait, Soph I-
I close the door in his face.
Raymond Speed
*Muffled from behind the door* Soph? Soph? Hello? No brunch then?
I rub my face in my hands as I lean on the door and slide to the floor. I sit there for a while, listening to Raymond still talking from behind the door.
Raymond Speed
*Muffled* Okay, I will text you later, then! Bye! Love you!
Sophia Lavender
*Mumbled* Some way of showing love you have.
I hear Raymond start the engine of his car and drive away. After I was certain he was no longer outside, I look up at the clock.
Sophia Lavender
Oh, fantastic! I’m going to be late to class! Thanks a lot, Raymond. 🙄
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