Chapter 1 -Regrets-

Her pov

I lived to kill

I don't have to receive love from anyone

But now I'm wondering, what am I living for?

The higher ups said 'You lived to kill and follow orders'.

Now I feel like a robot or perhaps a puppet that the organization control.

Clearly I'm the number one killer/assassin that the world have ever known.

But now that the organization want me dead, I'm wondering what it felt to be loved and live for the person I love.

No one loves me.. Because No one cared...I know that..

I only knew what love is on what I have read on the books that fill my curiosity...

There they say that emotions can over power us... But I don't really understand that factor...

Then what am I feeling right now?

Perhaps.. Pity for myself... Or... Sadness...? Maybe..

A gun was pointed to me, the guy who's going to kill me is my former companion in missions that I recently take, his codename is Stray.

I thought we grew closed to the point I considered him as a friend... But I guess... I'm wrong...

"You have to be killed, Knives..." My killer —Stray— said.

"Why?" I voice out the question that bugs me.

"Because you are growing emotions that a killer must not have"

*bang

I didn't dodge the bullet and just welcome it.

Because

I don't have parents

I don't have siblings

I don't have friends

I don't have pets

I don't have comrades

In short I don't have anyone to care if I die.

And

That will love me or have cared for me..

So why escape death?

If you don't have anyone?

But I truly regret being alone...

Maybe if I just escape or find someone that would care for me, maybe I'll experience what is love.

.....29 years of living alone and not knowing what are emotions and love... And just know that I lived to kill and follow orders from the organisation.... Is finally over.

But clearly, I have my Regrets

Chapter 2 -Married Off-

Her pov

"Jing Hua!!!! You lazy shit! Get up!!" I was woken up by a person who keeps on banging the door.

Before I could process on what is going on, unfamiliar memories began to register in my mind.

This owner's body name is Zhong Jing Hua, a proclaimed trash because she only has beauty without brains that's why she was always bullied by her maids, cousins, and aunts.

She also indulge herself on fantasising beautiful men and also a great believer of true love.

But she died because of great hunger for the reason her own maids didn't bring her food for 1 week.

I released a heavy sigh when I realize I'm not also loved in this world. I also realized that Jing Hua is an idiot a very annoying one...

Before I could recover and process the situation I'm in, a young lady who wore maid's clothes barge in.

When she saw me, she froze.

"Y-you.... Y-you're alive?" She think I'm dead?

How foolish of her! I roamed my gaze to her whole body.

But a question is bugging me.

I'm not a Chinese but I clearly know how to write, read, and speak Chinese... But why am I suddenly reincarnated here?

.... For a couple of minutes there is silence.

"Minister Zhong wants you to go in the main hall" she said and walk out like she was the master and I am the slave.

When she was out of sight I search for my memory on who the hell is this Minister Zhong,

He was self proclaimed to be the head of the Zhong manor when her mother and father was killed by the bandits and he is also an old sly fox who schemes for more power and money

He also don't care about Zhong Jing Hua even if dies or lives, he only cared about Jing Hua's inherited treasure and the mansion that her mother inherited from her ancestors.

And based on my deduction, this will not end good.

........

I immediately know where is the main hall, thanks to the former body owner's memories.

When the servants saw my approaching silhouette they tap the door and announced my arrival

"First young miss Zhong Jing Hua!!"

When I entered the room, all of my cousins, aunts, and uncle was there.

As expected they just gave me a disgusted look.

"Huh! You're still alive" my first aunt snorted and I could clearly tell that she's mocking me.

Well its clearly obvious.

When others hear her comment they laugh, treating me like a wind.

Pity... I could snap your necks without blinking.. I thought.

"Ehem.... Let me get to the point Jing Hua" the main hall became quiet but I could clearly tell that they are belittling me but still I keep my head down and keep my mouth shut.

The one who is speaking is the Minister.

"You're to be married off to Duke Feng as the main wife... You're lucky Jing Hua" I clearly could tell that the last sentence is a lie.

Before he dismissed me he said that I would be married off tomorrow at my 16th birthday.

Tch...

Chapter 3 -Wedding Night-

Her P.O.V.

I could not escape my unfortunate fate once again.

Who is the Duke that I'll be marrying tomorrow?

His full name is Feng Jin a powerful Duke in this empire and the crown prince of Feng Empire. They say that the Duke was ruthless, powerful, and only treats woman as a piece of paper, once used he'll eventually throw it away.

So why the hell will I be married off as a main wife of a Duke.. I know the answer about that.

If I will be married off to a rich and powerful man I have to leave all my inherited treasure and this mansion, so all of my parents hard workship will be snatch away by my cousins, aunts, and uncles to spend!

Well my dowry is also snatched away from me so in short I'm broke.

......

Its already midnight and still I'm not sleeping it still bugs me how to escape in such a scenario that I ended up!

First I had to pack my things for tomorrow, I don't have money or an inner sight about this world because its not written in ancient China history that I know so I have to mold my plan while being the wife of the Duke.

Second I have to gain knowledge about how there civilization work here.

Third I have to earn money.

And lastly I have to learn what are emotions.

I pack my things but there are no books that I could get hold to.

In my previous life, books is my favorite hobby so now that I don't have any books I'm a bit disappointed.

........

Last night I sneak out wearing black clothes and a cloth that almost cover my whole face.

I steal some books in a library not far from the mansion.

Now I'm getting dolled up for the ceremony.

.........

Its quiet exhausting, but I still manage.

I didn't meet the Duke in the ceremony and my relatives where clearly happy at the ceremony because they were going to indulge to the treasure that my parents have left.

**WARNING: IT MAY CONTAIN SEXUAL CONTENT!! THAT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG READERS**

Now I'm all alone in the red room a veil is covering my face.

And a banging can be heard at the other room.

There are moans that I'm not innocent off, but I really don't care.

In my previous life as an assassin sometimes I encounter such thing and much worst, I also had several experience having sex and its not very pleasing if I may add.

Yes I admit for the fact that its bittersweet and gives you pleasure but when I'm doing it, there is something off or something missing that I can't point out.

"Argh.. Harder Jin!!! Ahhh ahh!!"

Only the girl is making the moans and noises, well I could tell that the Duke is a very controlled man.

"Ahhhh... Jin... Ahhhh"

He's clearly humiliating me but why is that?