As I waited for them to come, I started to fix my room where we usually were sleeping everytime they'd come here for an overnight. After fixing everything in my room, I went down and go to the kitchen to help my mom organize the foods she cooked on the dining table. I smiled after I inhaled the smell of the chicken curry and the meatballs. Mom really misses my friends to the point that she really cooked a lot. Knowing that Louie really eats a huge amounts of foods. He's just really into foods. I wandered my eyes on the table and checked what mom cooked aside from the curry and the meatballs that I've inhaled. There's a chicken skewer, a chicken broth, roasted chicken, chicken fajitas, beef steak, chicken and vegetable skillet. Oh, almost all were chicken with a different ways of how they were all cooked. Mom's really great. That's all my mom's favorite anyway. Chicken.

I waited 10 minutes outside the gate before my friends arrived. And as I'm staring at them getting off the car, a huge smile formed in my lips. No one can explain how I much I misses them too. I'm not a showy person. I don't do the "I missed you a lot!" messages and I don't show it directly. My way of telling them that I missed them was insulting them and making fun of them. I don't want them to know how I were much more worry about them when they get sick than worrying about myself at all. They all were too precious for me. They're a friends of mine ever since elemtary days of schools. And now that we're an adult, our closeness just graze on each other and got even more closer and closer. We consider each of us as our siblings. Yes, for us, we're all siblings. I am an only child of my parents. And I guess that's a partly reason why I was too attached with the sibling-thingy. I always wanted a little brother, but mom has a problem on her mattress. I was a big miracle that happened because no one expected that despite of mom's situations, she gave birth to a kid that happen to be me.

I welcomed my friends with wide arms and couldn't stop emotion's flows anymore. A week without seeing them and just chatting with them is boring at all, I want the bond. Our bond together.

Louie quickly ran over me and hugged me tightly, second by Ghio, and Dion. Ruji remained standing near us and watches us group-hugging.

Ghio stopped and looked at Ruji. "Hey, man! Come over here and join the group hug! Don't be too killjoy! After a weeks, we all will be busy again so let's enjoy our time together!" Ruji smiled and stared at me. "Get lost, then. I will hug this idiot alone." "Woah! You're a real friend! Let me injured that head of yours!" Louie blurted out and they suddenly burst a laughter. He then pushed Louie away and faced me with a huge smile on his face. I didn't expected his next move and I was left shocked. He hugged me. He suddenly hugged me tight like he was enjoying the time he's in my arms. "I missed you, bro." He murmured. I was stunned for a moment because he really act too weird. He act clingy, sweet, and whatever it is. But the way he says the 'bro' was like it's something he shouldn't say. He bit his lower lip and chuckled. "What a weird." He whispered and went inside. I didn't let curiousity embrace me. I followed him inside while the two also tailed me in.

Right after we ate dinner in our house, mom already decided to let them sleep here. We didn't even said our plan about the overnight yet she already insisted to let them sleep here. "It's too late and dangerous to go home, You guys sleep here. Ruwie's room is wide and you guys can fit there together. Go and clean up yourselves to sleep." Mom retorted and bid a goodnight before getting upstair to sleep. Though there were times that my friends are overnighting here, they never slept in my room. They're always at the guests room. And we five actually never thought of sharing the same room together ever. After having fun we just go to different rooms and sleeps. I guess, my mom's idea was good at all. Why don't let them sleep in my room? They're not anybody anyway. "Let's go." I muttured and went up. I widely left the door open for my idiot friends. When they got inside, they roamed their eyes like they never have seen my room. Except Ruji. He really acts so weird. I also noticed that he's quite, an unusual thing. He used to be the loudest mouth we have. He always makes fun of us and jokes out of the blue. He's the most jolly among us. Louie couldn't even surpass his jolliness and playful acts though they have similarities. And lastly, he always tease me. But he's just really too quite right now. I looked at Ghio and Louie when they suddenly fight like a little kids. As usual for them. They always pick up a cat-fight whenever they're seeing each other. There's no way they won't do that because they both are lunatics. While Dion on the other side, just shooked his head and divert his gaze. Probably tired of stopping them from acting so childish. And I, again, looked at Ruji who's still silently sitting on the mini-couch of my room. He's staring at the floor like he's thinking something so deep. "Don't you know that staring is rude?" He asked without any expression and turned to me. I raised my brow when he looked at me. He also raised his right brow and we stared at each other for a moment. I tried to read him but I couldn't. He is still expresionless. But when I looked up on his eyes, I can say that he's into something. I can see through his eyes that he's not fine. And I can also see that he wants to say something. His eyes were filled by I don't know feelings while looking at me. I cleared my throat and speak. "Just wondering of you being too silent." I answered honestly. "I'm just thinking something." He whispered. "Like what? Share your thoughts." I blurted out. "Those were only mine." He teasingly spoke and laughed a bit. My mouth was left opened while looking at him unbelievably. "You stingy!" I hissed. He didn't respond again so I turned my back on him and faced the two lunatics. I picked up the pillow and smashed it on their face that caused them to stop cat-fighting and glared at me. I raised my eyebrows. "Stop that nonsensal fights and grow up. You both are not a kids anymore, come on." I said and even rolled my eyes. I sat on the couch where Ruji was and rested my head on his back. I felt him stopped from what he's doing and turn a bit. I sat straightly and turn to him. He look shocked again like I never did that thing. We used on resting in each other's arms, back, and hips but he always act like it was the very first time I'm doing the same thing. He's not even like that to Louie, Ghio, or Dion. He act differently in front of me. He's always like that. Sometimes I'm just thinking that he's not comfortable with me. Come on, we're friends since our childhoods. I rolled my eyes him. But I faced him again when I felt really too curious and worrid at the same time. I couldn't help myself to ask. He's unusual. For real. "Are you okay? Did something happened?" I frankly asked him. His forehead knot. "Hmm? What's with the sudden asking such questions?" "Ruji, I've known you for years. You can't hide anything from me. I know you're not fine." I said and tapped his shoulder. "What happened? Mind telling us?" He smirked. "Why? Are you worried?" I bumped his shoulder. "Of course! Who friend wouldn't be worry is his loud friend became too silent so suddenly?! You're not even thinking that? Then you're a total nonsense!" He chuckled. "Don't worry too much about me, you don't know what it all means to me." I didn't ask again despite of wanting to ask what he really meant to say. He really loves making people confuse with his little tricky tongue. He will say whatever he wants to without informing the one he's talking to what he's talking all about. He's totally a jerk that belongs to our group of friends. I stood up and went to the bathroom to wash up. I bought my cellphone with me to listen to a certain music I'm usually listening to whenever I'm bathing. I know it's kinda weird too. But I'm used to listening musics while showering. I hate boring surroundings. I got used to my loud friends. I looked at my phone when a message popped-out. It's from Alice, Louie's cousin.The woman who is always chasing after me even after numerous rejections she received from me. She's as stubborn as Louie. They are really cousins.

I sighed after reading her message. Here we go again. I never wanted the way I act to her. But I have to. That's the only way I could think so just she will hate and stop liking me. It's hard for me act like I don't care about how she feels when the truth is I care a lot. I care about her feelings and I appreciate how she likes me. But I can't let anybody like me and chase over me like I was a precious gem they wants to have. I am nothing. They deserves a better guys. Especially, Alice, she just act too rude and rough but she's totally soft inside. She's just as soft as other women. She just wants love. And that's what I can't give to her that's why I'm always dumping her and pushing her away. She don't deserve me. I feel sorry that I can't feel the same way she feel towards me. I bit my lower lip and replied. Sorry. I'm so sorry. But I have to do this. "I'm not the man you deserves. You deserve the whole world." I whispered to myself and tap send to the message I composed.

I delete the replies I was about to send. I can't say yes, but couldn't say no at the same time.

I clicked my tongue and heaved a sigh. What to do? I can't say no. My eys widen when I saw her calling. I closed my eyes and decided to answer it. "Hey... Ruwie." She's almost whispering. From the tone of her voice, I can that she's really crying. So, she has this weak side? I shouldn't be wandering but I can't help it. She's being tough everytime. "Say something." She muttured. "I want to hear your voice." I bent down and rested my back on the door. "Rest, relax, and clear your mind if you're not okay." I blurted out and rubbed my fingers on my hair to mess it. "Don't overthink. You will be alright." I heard her chuckled in a bitter way. "Ruwie, is that you? Why acting so worried now? Because I told you I'm not okay? Or because I told you my dad embarrassed me? You pitty me now, huh?" She bitterly spoke as I heard her sobbed lowly. I looked around and round my gaze. I'm still at restroom and it's honestly not comfortable to stay here like this, but it's okay. "I will hang up now. Thank you for letting me hear your voice." She added. "No, I don't." I answered. That's for the first one she said. I don't really pitty her. I was really worried. I didn't wait for her response and hanged up the call. I composed a last message to her before I left my phone at the dry sink.

12: 21 AM

And that's where our conversation has ended.

2: 09 AM

Ilt's already 2 in the morning. It's already dawn. But I am still laying on the floor where we decided to sleep and wide awake. We just decided to sleep on the floor since only three of us will fit on my king size bed. We have our frendship-motto, 'What the one feels must other feel.' My eyes were both open while gazing at the dark ceiling. The whole room was embraced by darkness. I can't sleep. I don't even know why. I'm totally alright and nothing bad even happened. Maybe I was just too happy seeing my friends after a week of not seeing each other. They are like a siblings to me. From the silence of the whole corner of my room, I'm much pretty sure that I was just the only one who's now awake-- I was halted from thinking when I heard someone spoke. "Are you still up, Ruwie?" It was Ruji's voice. I didn't answered him quickly. I feel like not talking. I want the silence that embracing us on the room. I bit my lower lip and was about to speak when he added something that stopped me from talking back. "So, you're asleep." He said in a lower tone of voice. "I sinned to you." I remain in silence and feel the coldness of the room that came from the aircon. He might probably thinking I was really asleep. I know he will talk about he's saying that's why I remained in silence. He always does this. Talking to a person who's asleep so that he can say whatever he wants to. He will say everything what he can't in front of you, and just waits for you to fall asleep. I told ya'll, he's really weird. "I accidentally did something I shouldn't. We promised each other not to keep secret but I keep hiding secrets from you. I'm sorry." He almost whisper when he says those. I wanted to ask why but I remain quite and just listen to him. Whatever the thing he did wrong, I already forgave him. Ruji is not the type of guy who will break his words so easily, unless it's really necessary. So I can't hate him from what he is saying right now. I didn't even felt any glimpse of doubt. I trust him. "Ruwie... I have something to say." He spoke. "But I don't think you should know. I'm afraid that you might starts avoiding me." My forehead knot and I'm only trying my best not to speak up. Damn it, say it! I'm waiting, come on, boy! He must tell me. I must know what he's talking about. I won't be mad. I'm just really too curious. "I... " He cut his own word and sighed heavily. "I'm inlove with you. This guy is inlove with you, Ruwie." My expression went blank and the curiousity vanished and I suddenly felt empty. What the ****? I don't know how to react so I didn't move even how much I wanted to shout and ask him what he did just said. I want confirmation. I tried to breathe normally but I ended up catching my own breath while my heart starts pounding so fast and wild. The sayings are true that curiousity kills the cat. I should've just slept. I shouldn't listened. Goddamn it! I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep but I failed. I sighed quitely. 10 minutes past and I secretly slowly glance at his side but my eyes widen when I saw him staring straight at me. I swallowed hard and cursed underneat my breath. I turned my back on him. "I know you're awake." He surely blurted out. I closed my eyes and still didn't answered him. I can feel my forehead sweats suddenly despite of the cold temperature caused by the aircondition. The room suddenly became hot-spring for me because of a sudden changes. It's tense. I'm tense. "Ruwie Mikahel Gui, I know you heard me. And what you heard was right. I like... no, I love you." He added and I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and breathe deeply while looking straight at his eyes. I swallowed hard and tried to speak but I couldn't find any words to say. I feel empty so suddenly. My mind went blank and I wasn't able to speak like a new born baby. I divert my gaze. "W-What are you saying? I-I just woke up by now. W-W-Why are you still awake anyway? Can't sleep?" His expression didn't changed. He didn't even flinched a little. He remained staring at me straightly with the weird sparkles on his bare eyes. He stood up and walked near the window. He stayed there for a while, while facing the window. Later on, I heard a little sobs. I lifted my face to look at him but all I can see right now is his back. I can't see his face and reaction because he turned back. But I know he's crying. I stood up and shakingly walked towards him. I stopped with inch distances between us and tried to peak him crying. "H-Hey... " I called out, still shocked from what I've just heard from him. Yeah, I was still in shock. But I can't let my friend cry like this alone. He needed a back and a person to lean in right now. And if I wouldn't be that person, I forever will feel guilty. Besides, no one's awake, just the two of us. There's no wrong about this. I'm just a little afraid and shock. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. "U-Uhm... R-Ruji-- " He cut me. "You don't have to come close if you're uncomfortable. I understand." He almost whisper. "Go back to sleep."