I am Rhea the name everyone knows me by. The name given to me by my parents. Who had cared for me all these years.But what could I had given them in exchange. This unpleasant marriage with my husband. He gives me everything a woman wants. He is a billionaire with many many bungalows to live in. I can spend his money in any way without him interrupting my life in any way. Does he love me? no no this is all in my head. I am a lucky fish who met him through shear accident.

I think life had given me a second chance. Those traces in my memory when I fell down in a deep sea was I escaping someone or all these are just coincidences. Was I destined to be here with him? My head is full of Gevin my husband. I don't know where he is at this point of time. Is he flooding around with his girlfriend in bar or is he serious about our relationship. we really need to talk about our relationship as it weighs around my finger hard.

Life never gives a second chance but we had one. The time we spent together just looking at each other and doing dirty things hhahaha indeed romantic things you can say spent countless romantic nights but not a single word to say .I do have to struggle to bring out a new conversation based on our old memories but all in vain. All do I get was a word or two as a answer. I want to talk with you want to share thousands and thousands of my thoughts with you with I also want to hear your. Am I not worth this. Am I not worth talking. I think I had brought this upon me myself. All I did was a single mistake a mistake which cannot be forgiven. Are you listening all I want to say is but I had forgiven myself amist all this struggle. I want to break off from all this. Break off from this hazardous marriage. Break off from you but am so powerless I cannot do anything as you are the one holding on to me tight. Tight in your arms kissing me constantly on my lips smacking and sucking them engraved in my memories forever. Hhahaha am sorry but until now all this was just an act. Act to be called a married girl. This drama of playing a happy family a cliche I am just bored with it. Playing husband and wife all day is covering your own self inside you.

I hate you for not telling me where you are. I get scared everytime I see you. You won't understand me ever we will remain the same through out our life. I doubt will we be able to travel along with this so called marriage .It is difficult to live in this strange house among strange people. I don't know how someone can manage to live here. Maybe the house is not strange because of its people but due to some unwanted wanted members.

I belong to his family not he to mine or not.

What should I do I don't know.

I am married to you. You know what it means to being married. I'm bound to you for the rest of my life. I give damn about this marriage.

I won't accept you in my life. We belong to two different worlds. Even different countries.

Did you say something 'a a no' I just don't want any relation with you I don't want to be committed to you or by you.

Why am I not handsome or rich what every second woman wants from me you should be lucky that I chose you and even fell in love. Had you said something just now 'a a no' I mean you just have to be with me until I say you to go. Whaaaat what am I to you a toy, a play thing. Is every rich person in this country like this. How many of you are there in this world .

what had happened to you are you bound to fight with me today. Are you so where to break apart from. where are going I am talking to you Re... You can't ignore me like this. I am the man every girl desires.

ahan you are so full of your self in your own head. Only one girl in this world makes you feel like the man desired by every women. What was her name again miss riches millano oh your miss Mil.

She is not my girlfriend, just a childhood friend of mine.we are not close enough as you think.

Didn't she wanted to marry you years ago and you too thought she can make a good wife.

Yes I thought so because as a friend I can live comfortably with her without her interfering in my life.

Lies lies these are all lies. I saw you with my own eyes holding her tightly in your arms in the hot summer right under the sun as if will melt away. hahaha

Holding her tightly do you want to get rid of us all.Not possible even in your 7 life times.

Us all..... umm who you are talking about. I just don't understand

of course, me and your parents.

what are you spouting about why my parents.I mean they are my biological parents if they would not live with me than with whom.

Then me, (continuously looking at his face)

aa not you also. I want to live with you( speaking silently).

Are you saying something again without me listening to anything again.

(clearing his throat) you cannot leave here till I say you to do so.

I know it very well what am I to do.

(she walks away restlessly out of the room with faint footsteps as he sees her walking out of the study room).

What does he thinks of himself am I bound to play this husband and wife game with him my whole life. Not to say is he even himself serious about this.

Today I felt I could die. Die once to make it all over. He said I had not won his heart in any of the single moment. I am at myy limit. I don't know what more I can do. OK I will try to conversate with my neighbors to make him at ease.

yes my neighbors he said I have take initiative to talk with them and be friendly to maintain the high society status.

Is all that necessary for me to settle in this family.

nevermind....

I will talk more and more so that he can feel relief. Just Ignore your jealousy over them. Ignore your own sentiments you are at your in laws just live the way you are not used to just live as if you are not living.

My dear note pad my friend am writing this to you there are many more to come and you will be the only one to listen.

aargh... am so bored writing all this in my personal diary. I should have shown some attitude to him.

How he can comment on my behaviour and just run away like this.

(flashbacks running in her head)

Aah.. I had only won him but not his heart. I will never be able to win him like this. This will only tear us apart from each other. I am in deep despair. The only person I can rely on in this house keeps moving away from. I feel like am the only one who feels likes this. I won't be able to change myself. I had changed hell out much more in me than he sees. I had turned the whole table out of me. Yet more to come.

Do I need to change something more in me. I feel like I should talk with Jane ( Reha's best friend who saved her) she will help handle my situation properly or will help me to get out of this marriage.

She is a beautiful woman with and some boyfriend who indeed is a police officer.

He cares so much about her. she would feel so lucky to have him.

Indeed my friend Jane is no less than him. Even my husband would go after her if he sees her.

( praising Jane and also angrily thinking about her cuckold husband who is not into adultery but her own unpleasant thoughts)

He said today in the morning before going to his work that I have no sense to speak. I say whatever the first thought comes in my mind.

whatever..

(Thinking unconsciously about her own attitude in the morning)

Had I said something wrong....How had I offended him. Should I had said nothing to him. I am sorry I had kept great expectations from him ever since we married.I'm a meaningless girl with no hope( in regard of her life ) to live. I suppose I am bound to live like this with no whereabouts why was I tried to killed and by who.