It’s 2 o’clock now in a rainy day I was laid on the bed trying to sleep but I couldn’t, I was thinking about all the memories of me and my family one year ago.

how just a one year could change my life completely !!

IN THE PAST.

“Ah it’s finally the last exam in my college life, I’m so happy , I wanna back to home and sleep “ Nisan said .

My friend Ruby was also the same as her “ I feel like 90’s elder lady, I wanna sleep for a week, so don’t expect from me to get out with you this week “ Ruby said

I wasn’t Listening to her , I was looking to my college with a teary eyes “ well I think it’s the end here , we will leave this place, don’t you feel anything about it?”

“ mmm to me I’m really happy because I will graduate, Nisan even if we leave the place here we still have the memories of us and we still have each other and everything will be the same , that’s the important to me and that’s how I feel “ Ruby smiled .

I still silent, looking around her for a bit , then we walking together to the bus stop .

At this time I didn’t now that after this there’s nothing will be the same.

“ I’m home “ , “ mom , dad , I’m finally going to graduate “ I hugged my parents with happiness , “ oh look to my beautiful daughter how she grew up “Nisan mother said ( Rasha) .

“ Even if she grows up, she is still my spoiled girl “ With kissing her forehead Nisan father said ( George ).

I laughed and asked “ mmm then what would be your little girl gift ?”

“ it’s a surprise “ my father winked to me .

“Ok I will wait “.

“ Go rest now , I’ll call you when your brothers and sister come to the dinner “ mother pushed me to the room.

“Ok I’m going I’m going “ ,I went to my room and sleep for a while.

After sleeping a little while I wake up then and took a shower and dressed nicely and I got down to the kitchen “ mom what is the dinner?”

“Oh I cooked steak ,pasta , pizza and salad”

“Mmm it’s look delicious”

“mom I want mash potato too can you cook it please?”

“ ok ,but can you help me ?”

“Yes mamy “I said with a smile on my face and start to cook with my mother .

The door knocked ,my father went to open the door , his first daughter Julia and his both sons was on the door ” hello father” .

They went inside, Julia hugged me “ congratulations sweetie, finally you are finished , I’m so happy for you “.

“Thank you sister, I know I caused a lot of trouble to you, I will compensate you everyone when I will get my first salary “

They laugh as my second brother said “ I’m waiting “.

We all gathered on the table for the dinner, First brother looked to the wall clock “ third brother doesn’t want to come? Didn’t you tell him?”

“I called him and told him but I don’t know why he didn’t come “ father looked disappointed, with a bothered face on My mother , she says “ I hope he will not come, we want to enjoy this night, if he come he will make this night awful “. “Mom , don’t say that , you always fought with him why can’t you say anything nice to him?!!”

“First brother and mom please can we change the topic, it’s our sister celebration” Julia said .

With a frown face I start to cut the steak and eat it , I remained silent but I know deeply in my heart that my third brother hates me , anyone can know it because of how he treats me badly , even treats his mother badly what would I wait from him, tbh I really don’t care about him, and always hoped that he wasn’t my brother.

After that day me and my friend went to the pharmacist association and then to the Ministry of Health to join, I want to prepare my papers quickly so that I can start working , Then I booked a photo session for graduation and started taking care of my skin. Two days left for the photo session, I was very happy, but suddenly it was announced in the country that curfews were imposed and people were forced to stay in their homes due to the Corona virus , The news was very bad for everyone, fear spread among people, “how could this happen?” I saw my dreams fade one after another.

“What will happen to us?” , my mother was ill for a years she was and still suffering from diabetes and my father have heart disease, I was scared that something would happened to them.

“You must be disappointed honey!” Mother looked to me , “ don’t worry, everything will be good when they found the cure and now as pharmacist you should thinking of way to the cure” father teases me ,I smiled to them but I know that my parents were trying to comfort me “dad, mom I’m the youngest daughter , I was born after 13 years , I think god give you a gift like me so that I can take care of you as you are elders , so rest assured I will do everything and I will make you both look like you live in a hotel” , as I said those words to my parents , they start to laugh at me , I was pleased at the sight of them laughing , I felt a warmth in my heart , I didn’t want to lose this warm ,parents or my home “ please God protect me and my family, please give us the strength in this ordeal, God I know you’re with us whenever we are “.

I was trying my best to serve my family during quarantine , cooking , cleaning even studying so that I can improve myself, I couldn’t see my sister or my brothers so I was often make a video call and chat with them, this quarantine was like a hell to me especially that my third brother didn’t work and he stayed with us, he was deliberately trying to make fights with us on everything, he was trying many times to hit me he even broke my nose, and I couldn’t tolerate him , not anymore “ dad I will call the police, I can’t stand him to hit me every time “

“ Nisan please don’t do this, it will be scandal for us “

“Scandal!! Is this what you’re caring about?! And me ?! Is it okay to you to break my nose , and the next time let him kill me because you’re afraid of scandals right?!!”

“ Nisan , he will not hit you anymore I promise you okay so let it slide this time please do this for me “

I was really angry, how could my father begging me for him even when I was being in this state , I couldn’t do anything except for disappointed from my father , I told them that I don’t want to talk to him anymore, I don’t want even to recognize him as my brother , at this moment I really hated him

He impacts me with negative emotions and it’s all was clear on my face.

After 3 months of quarantine, they start to open the places and bring the life back to normal but to me it was hard time because my father was diagnosed with corona, this news was shocking , I really was scared for my parents “ oh god please protect my parents I don’t have anyone except them, please protect them for me “ but what happened is that my mother was diagnosed with it too , both of them was diagnosed while the result of me and 3rd brother examination was negative .

My parents stayed in the hospital, l was hoping for them to healing but the worst only what happened!!

Their health were not good, I called them every day , but it was heartbreaking to see them that way “ Nisan we are sorry because we couldn’t bring you the joy you wanted, we are sorry because of the suffering you have been endure it, forgive us please “

“ don’t say that, my joy will come back when both of you will come back here with me , you are the meaning of my life, so get well soon both of you because I’m waiting here for you “

“ May god bless you Nisan and May god make your way shine and all of your days will be spring “

I didn’t know that this words will be the last thing I will heard it from my parents, they were saying a farewell to me, they give me the last drop of love, they lived together and died together.

It’s really hard to lose the most important persons in your life, and it was even harder trying to forget about them, how we used to live, the time we were together, all the memories of us , this sadness unbearable for me , I felt like everything stopped around me , my life , my happiness and my dreams, everything is vanished now, I don’t want to be in this life anymore, I was really depressed .

And the worst of this seeing my third brother infront me every day, how he is happy with the death of my parents and inherited the money, not only this , he want also to remarried and bring his children to me , he was disgusting.

I couldn’t tolerate him anymore, I was silent before just for the sake of my father but now he is not here, so I called the women rights foundation and they transferred my brother away from me , and promised to protect me from him, what a life !!

“ what a life is this!! You left me alone here, you promised me to celebrate my first salary, why you lied to me why !!! “

I was crying and screaming, it’s miserable.

After 3 months my sister Julia was coming to my home

“ Nisan are you home?!”

“.................”

“ Nisan open the door, it’s me julia your sister, open the door “

“..................”

“ Nisan I know you are at home so open the door or I swear I will break it “

*Crack * the door was open

“ what take you so long to open it, and why you didn’t answer my calls ?!”

“ I wasn’t in mood to answer anyone “

“ sigh, Nisan they are my parents too and it has been 3 months for now , I’m sad too and can’t believe what happened until now, but we should continue our life , the life will not stop and there’s nothing will change this “

“ to me it’s already stopped, you have a husband and children’s you live for them , but I don’t have anyone ......”

“ what about me?! am I not important to you? or maybe am I not your family?! “

“..................”

“ do you want me to leave too ? don’t you want me anymore?!”

“ no *sob sob* I want you *sob* don’t leave me too *sob*”

“ *hugging* it’s okay my lovely sister it’s okay, cry as much as you want, I’m here for you “

“ are you good now? “

“ yeah I’m fine “

“ look at your face how pale, I know you didn’t eat well so I bring some food, let’s eat together “

“ ah okay “

“ by the way, my husband talk to his friend about getting job for you”

“ what job?!”

“ it’s in pharmacy, you should start working and live your life “

“ this is sudden , I don’t think I’m ready “

“ our parents would be disappointed if they hear what you say, do you want them to be sad?”

“.................”

“Nisan start your life again please!!”

“ okay , when should I start?”

“ *clap* yaaaay , he said you can go next week “

“ okay “.

“ then should we going to shopping tomorrow? “

“ no I don’t need anything, it’s just a pharmacy so I will be wearing the lab coat “

“ it’s not like you will wear your lab coat on the streets too and when you meet your friends !! I said we will shopping so don’t complain “

“ when you become like this?!”

“ become what?”

“ a talkative girl “

“ what! hey I’m your elder sister you should respect me , and I’m doing all of this just for you * hm*”

“ hhhhh fine I will listen to you “

“ good girl, I will pick you up tomorrow at 3 pm so be ready “

“ call me before you come “

“ ok , see you “

“ bye bye “

Julia was leaving, and I returned to the dark and loneliness!!

*ring* *ring ring *

“ mmmm hello “ Nisan answered the phone

“ hey Nisan are you still sleeping?!”

“ ah Jully , yes I wake up on your call “

“ oh god , your life habit is disaster , it’s 2 pm now , get up and get ready quickly “

“ fine fine, I will get ready, did you get out?!”

“ no , but I will in 5 minutes “

“ okay I will go now “

“Ok see you in 1 hour” Julia hang up .

I sit on the bed looking to the mirror infront me , I looked to myself , l felt like l become so ugly, pathetic, I didn’t see anything except for sadness, “ what should I do with my life ?” , this question was always in my mind, I want to escape from everything but suddenly I remember what my sister July said to me

*Flashback*

“ what about me?! am I not important to you? or maybe am I not your family?! “

“ do you want me to leave too ? don’t you want me anymore?!”

*The End of Flashback*

My one and only sister, my hope in this life how can I leave you * sigh *

I want to start new life jus for you so please don’t leave me too.

Julia was waiting for me outside in her car , when I came she was so happy to see me leaving the house finally.

“ hurry up get in the car “ Julia said.

“ I’m coming , so where are we going?”

“ to the city mall, we need an urgent shopping “ with a beautiful smile on her face July said

“............”

I looked through the window, I felt relief somehow, maybe I was needing some fresh air to remove all the toxic things I have been through.

After the shopping , we went to nice restaurant to eat then my sister brought me home “ thank you for today, it was refreshing to me “

“ yah yah thank me later after you got your salary “

“ *pfttt* okay “ I laughed happily on her but then I got confused “Wait why are you getting out of the car “

“ I wanna sleep with you today like we used to do “ July got off the car.

At this moment I was very touched, I really want to cry because I missed all of this moment, I missed being naughty girl , I missed the happiness, the laughs, the love, I missed my family and my life .

When I waked at the morning I didn’t see my sister, I walked to the kitchen then I found her preparing the breakfast for me, she even prepared my clothes!!

“ eat your breakfast then get ready, today I will drive you to your work “

“ ahhhh ,I think all my salary is going to you"

“* pfttt* yeah this what should happen “

I take a seat to eat my food, it’s like what my mom used to cook it for me, the same smell and the same delicious taste, it’s like nothing changed except that my mother not here anymore * sob*

“ what happened why are you crying !! “ July with frown and surprising face “

“ nothing *sob* it’s just the food so hot “

“ it’s okay Nisan , the beginning is always hot but then it will cool down “ she hugged me, she knows what I was thinking and what I feeling , she was trying hard to give me the love and the support, she was always calling and looking after me , she wasn’t like my brothers whose only call me a few times and visit me once in awhile, I will be always thankful to my one and only July.

It’s my first day at work , I was very nervous but all of this gone when I met my colleagues they were very nice to me and they helped with anything that was difficult to me, I really loved the place and like this I started my new life, it was like a blessing from my parents.

After 6 months of working with average salary but with comfortable heart and mind, I thought I should start a new job cause I want more money so I make decision that I wanna make my dreams true .

At that time my boss call me to his office ”Nisan, how are you? I hope you are comfortable here ?”

“ yes I’m very comfortable thank you boss”

I felt there was something he wanted to talk about, I was nervous cause I thought maybe he wanted to expel me

“I’m glad to hear this, actually I called you here because there is something I want discuss with you “

“ you know my work recently isn’t good so I expelled many employees, but I couldn’t bring myself to do this to you Nisan because you’re a good employee and you working hard so I called my friend which he is working in a large company to help you work there with a good salary”

I know this will happen to me “ thank you boss for your concern, I really which none of this happened “

“ me too, please go to this company, I wrote a complement to you, I’m sure you will work hard like you always do but don’t forget me “

“ you took a good care of me, how could I forget you, when your work become good too please call me back “

“ I will “

“ thank you again boss, goodbye “

So this is the end for me here , and that happened just when I was thinking to get another job * sigh *

I looked to the paper in my hand and decided to give this company a chance “ I will not let this opportunity go from me , let’s go “

I went to the company and introduced myself to them and give them the complement paper from my previous boss, and with the help of his friend I got the job.

This job was the dream of many people , the company was very big in the area and have a lot of foundations in many countries, I was very lucky to get this job, and the salary was very high , I could buy a car just in 3 months salary , I was really happy to move on with my life.