“Strange” was the first word used to describe me “crazy” was the next. The words kept coming and soon “Insane” and “freak” followed. Those two stuck but “beautiful” was the one that hurt the most because after that word I always was hurt in some way or another.

Since I was a child, I was always classified as the odd one, mostly because of my appearance. skin that’s paler than paper, silky white hair with brownish gray roots, but over all my eyes the color of amethyst . I’ve been like this since birth and I can’t do anything about it to change it. This apperence of mine always attracted peoples attention. The other kids looked at me with the hungry earg to speak to me , but they would never speak they would never approach me well at least never with good intentions.

I didn’t know why they acted like this maybe they already knew deep within that my looks weren’t the only thing strange, maybe they knew I was dangerous. Either way they never interested me, no, the only thing on my mind at that time we’re questions . Questions as to why I was in an orphanage?

You’ve read right; an orphanage, left there alone. Nothing really knew though. The little knowledge I had as to how I got there was that on a Tuesday at midnight, I was found at the door step of Homestone orphanage in main land. Wrapped in a blue wool blanket in a basket with me crying and a note which read,

“ His name is Ane Wilfur, please take care of him! And sorry....”

I was left with mearly a note to define me left like an unwanted puppy, weeping in the middle of a stormy midnight out the door step of what would be my home for the first 9 in a half years of my life. Great start for me now wasn’t it? I can’t complain though, for back in that place it wasn’t that bad only problem that I have and ever will keep having other than those of my own body is the people.

As for how I feel about my birth giver and sperm sober, is basically indifference, I don’t hold any grudges towards them nor do i hate or like them. If you’re wondering if I miss them, want them or wish to meet them, the answer is no, at least now it is. You can’t miss what you never had to begin with and meeting them now would be a waste of my time. Their reasons for doing what they did don’t matter to me. The answers to any of those questions, I’ve stopped searching for them long ago.

What’s done is done and nor I or them can do anything to change it. The least you can do is accept it and stop being a coward making excuses for your actions accept the shite you do and move on, no one has the time to dwell so much in the past. I’ve got enough In my mind to wast my time thinking of them and their excuses I just want to move forward.

Counting onward with my issues with the people as I said before is that humans are often the case of much of my problems. If it weren’t for them messing with me observing me and triggering me to act as I did, I would have never been sent away to begin with, I’d never had to experience the things I did. But I can’t blame it all on the others my behavior and well all of me was already strange adding more attention to myself. Maybe Nothing would have changed than.

You’re probably lost so let me explain this; I have always been “ odd, strange,e.c.” As people put it out for me, and if you didn’t know, when people find something different they either want it gone destroyed or wish to keep it for themselves for their own selfish greedy needs. It’s human instinct I suppose I wouldn’t really know than and I can barely get it now. All I know for sure is that it often ends badly, early ever good for the thing or person that has been labeled “different”.