My first memory of this man was when I saw him outside my mother's office, a foreign man which I've never met.

At that time I suppose he was a little older than me, perhaps in his early twenties while I was nineteen going into them.

He looked young, charming and funny. I laughed the first time I saw him because one of his loose dirty blonde strands was standing upright from the naturally slicked back hair. I wanted to point it out however his group of friends or family wasn't the ideal people to approach back then.

The next couple of days, I kept seeing him outside or in the office. I asked my mother about him, and she simply stated he was an associate. My mother helps out many people, so it was no surprise, I took her word for it and came to the office more regularly.

Overtime, I obtained a small crush on him. That 'small' crush later turned into an obsession, lust and then finally loss.

Although the man was single, he still didn't turn to look at me. No matter what I did. I tried to be modest, I tried to seduce him, but I only ended up disgusted reflecting on my actions as soon as I did. I wanted him to love me with sincere feelings, the only way I could do that was to show him me.

Now finally after so many years, I did.

I stand on this table, his tie tightly fixed around my head and flopping against my face. There's another heatwave that hits me and I feel dizzy and my head hurts. But it doesn't stop me from moving to the rhythm of the club's music.

I arch my back and squat down to meet his gaze, he sits stunned on his booth seat. His blue eyes staring directly into mine for the first time, he looks so cute when he's shocked.

My speech comes out blurred when I crawl across the surface to him. Letting out giggles, I reach for his face. Pinching his nose and shaking his head with it.

"You're so cute!~" I say, my left hand claps his other cheek, the chestnut pigmented skin recoils a little. He looks so cute.

"why didn't you...HIC!" I let out a laugh, hearing myself get more hiccups now, "You-You don't pay attention...to me~" I don't understand what I'm saying, why am I saying this?

I didn't realize I was crying until the entire table around us went quiet, my arms wrapped around his shoulders. His lips brush against mine as I lean in, sobbing, my tears falling onto his face.

"Why don't you love me back…?" I cry, I feel another sob leave me and I bury my face in his neck. Still on my knees up on his table, and his tie safely on me.

I felt his hands press gently against my back and I grasped tighter around his shoulder, wanting him to continue. "Why can't you just marry me already….?" I whispered, hoping he would hear.

I didn't think much after that, the music in the background died down and I felt my eyelids close and my body loose strength. Maybe I shouldn't have drunk so much.