You know not anyone has a beautiful side in them, deep down with in..not even her. You know it's hard to wish for someone to found someone that treat her the way I treated her.

As for why? Who gives a shit right? No one want to know. Even the ones that cares. They just doing it for something out of it, right. Don't laugh, and then giving me a puppy eyes. F*ck this shit.

Oh. I'm Slyer Walker by the way. Sorry about that. I should explain why am writing this, in jail. First, let's start off by understand life. Life is unfair, and not something you understand. Its unknown.

Yeah there's good. But it can changed. It's like walking to a path you didn't asked. It doesn't matter. Your there, so no bitching. It wasn't there's fault, it was yours...maybe.., that's how she felt, you know.

I have been missing you...I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. Am sorry. I didn't know, maybe I will if I fucking knew this will happen.

But I can't. See, called of life. This wasn't my plan I wanted. That went to my inhuman.

Bang Bang Bang

When hearing 3 bangings, you think of murder. Killing. Death. And Byes. I don't hear that. I hear my health going down.

Well, it's like this 'No. No. No NO. Don't listen please. Can you hear that? That's the tears of all the sins that you give me. Please.' That's pertty much that.

Heh, that's right. I l○¥€d you but I don't know. Let me see. Oh, that's right. You only use me for sex, sex that, sex this. What else you want? My whole fantasy? I fucking l-

Got out of control

It's alright just not eve--

Just forgot about that part...am just kidding...but I can say I was her slave am I sweety?

But I have a question for you though.

When I was following, you were with a boy. He's a young guy. Am pretty sure at that time, we were around 25 - 27. I keep following you to were you guys where at the movie. I didn't care what the movie is. I just following you. There's no need to, but I did pay to go to the movie to be near you. But then I saw something that got me mad a little bit. I know you were a bitch sometime, but being a fucking slut for him?! Your taken, TAKEN! In the middle of the movie, you kissed him. Heh, so your telling me your into younger men? He looks like a kid to me, around he's 17 I think. But why? Why? I bet you he doesn't know how to drive yet or have a job maybe. I don't think he can care for you like I do. Maybe he can do it but I was first to take you. Well, you didn't went to his place. Your lucky am 'okay' with you kissing and dating other people. I know you been cheating on me. Hell we even talked about it. You won't **** anyone but only me and I won't cheat on you, unlike you. But I have to say he does looks some f*cked boy you were "playing" with. I lost my mind.

You use to say we are in love..but was it a lie? Did you lie to me?

What? Why am I even asking? I mean it did start at the beginning did it..?

We were just fucked up people. And I still love you..

Don't play with your medicines with me babe.

You already know I will go first with your medicine.

But you still care about our relationship. You still love me even though you messing with me. I love you too babe.

WHY DO YOU STILL FUCKING LOVE ME IF YOUR DOING THIS CRAP WITH ME?? MESSING WITH MY FEELINGS, MESSING WITH YOU, MESSING WITH ANYTHING. WHY DO YOU STILL BEING WITH ME!!!

..why do I still love even through all of this...

Do you want me to tell you that your okay? Am here?

Now all that am asking go find a man that treats you the way you treated me, like I said "before".

I know it can be hard fo-- no for me honestly but quote this, "I been given up but lose it"

Why is our love so suicidal?

I love you.

Remember the time when we were in bed just making out and I was holding your soft hand that I don't want to lose. Just showing l○¥€ and then you telling me for 10 years or even more you I love you and will you marry me? Am not even sure how I will explain the feeling I felt. Just know it was something you don't think love can do. Of course I said yes to her at that time, but it was funny how she bowed down putting one knee down. Given me the most handsome, beautiful ring I could ask for. I think that's the frist time that she made me h.a.p.p.y. But man, akind fucked up she 'asking me to marry her' I thought, I thought I am the one was supposed to do that. But I didn't care really. I felt special for the frist time.

But of course, good things have to end. A few days later I found out that she stole the money that we were saving up for our bills that I mean THAT we most pay FOR.

You thought it was a good idea that to give me a wedding ring. When we were the owner asked us, this was our last time before we go homeless.

Then some old walked past me and called me "thief". I was confused as fcuked but somehow I calmed her down and she explained. Someone stole her ring and she run for it but she's old so it makes sense she got tired. I lied to her and said I just found this not that long ago and I gived her, her ring. We talked for a bit about it, saying sorry, you know. just the normal stuff. But it made me think. How did she lose all our money on?

Oh I remember we fought and fought over of it. Yea I was happy to marry you, but there's the different when you took someone else ring but then your not answering my question of what you did to the money we were saving. When that shit happened, I learned I know nothing about her.. why can't you just tell me what you did to the money?

I guess you just like when we are having sex. You just use the sex as an apologies most of the time. And we made up. Its funny to say that, that's the only thing your good at right? How many times did we do this shit angin? To many to say.

I don't have many friends. Honestly, I only had 3. And all of you guys want me to leave her. Leave the pain behind and just...well run but I know she will changes. Look, I love her. Ever heard people changed for someone they love. I know she will changes! I know she will,..right?

Don't say that! You may think your helping me but your not..telling me to leave the person that affection me for me. Yeah, I know she does things and our relationship is ambiguous but we still love each other and we honor.

I'm Sorry.

Why does this have to happen to me? I want her to be with me by my side. I want her. I need her. I can't live without her. Your my everything.

There's a reason why I picked you.

We're married.! But all that you are worrying about is have sex with me. Over and over. But it's okay. I mean it. I forgive you. I love you.

I know you take everything so far, to the point I can't hold on. Am not strong or good to see in the eye. I was thin, sometimes am unstable to move and always dirty. Rather I fall, bleeding or getting beat up.

She always do it hard with me. Everyday, it's something new. And everyday I feel something new. Rather it's bad or good. We will do it anywhere, anytime that she want to do. I was fine with it. It hurts, but I didn't care. Just as long she with me she doing.

"Shhh...its okay babe. Don't cry, am here." She bite the left side of my ear. "ahummn"

"Hey" She reply while going down, between my legs. Undressing my pants. "I want it babe. Please"

"O-okay.."

I notice that she was bleeding, 'down there'. But I figure out she was on her period. She was moaning, getting louder. She was having a partty with my d*ck. Normaly I feel disgusting when we do this on her period, but every time she move, I get harder. It got to the point I flip her around, making me the top. My **** was so far inside of her I never felt. I couldn't stop myself.

"Ss-lyerr.." trying to reply to me but I didn't hear her. I was getting harder every second. I can smell her blood that is dropping down through my d*ck. But I push her to the wall she can hold on and not me. Oh, I should say were we doing this, in some alleyway. Damn. She wasn't even touching the floor. I was holding on to her legs. I squeeze her thighs and rubbing them were her little toy is. "Slyer Slyer!...am am ahhu~" I felt her ***. But I wasn't finished. I kept on going. "Ahhmm..Slyer, I-I..." I let go of her legs and I grad her ***. Just squeezing the hell out of them. While pushing my d*ck in and out of her toy. She kept cumming. "Slyer.." Shit..she losing herself. Well, good think this is about to be over. "ahm..,babee am cumming"

"wa-iit..ahu..mmau, y-you--rr not waering yourrr condom"

"And? heh..ahum. You want it. Say it."

"ah, ahhumm....I-I..ye..s" I start moving fast, slapping her ***. "S-slyer!" She wants me to *** but am not buying just 'yes'. I want more. "come on, you think saying that to me will make me c*m"

"ahuu...mmm...Slyerrr, ple-ase. I-I want your ****. I want you t-to c*m. p-please" She was begging me, didn't think it work. I give her all of my juice to her. When I pull out, she fall to the floor. Couldn't even get up.

"S-slyer...I think your trying to get me pregnant" She wiper, "Oh?" While putting my pants on. She looked at me with anger, "Yes! We are not hav-" I kissed her so she will shut up. "I rarely do this babe, so be happy. I know your happy of that sex. "Just get these pills."

"mm..fine" with annoying looked

"I love you" I added

"Love you too"

I took her to the hospital the other day. She wasn't pregnant. She got happy about that. But the doctor did tell us no more play time for a while. I got very happy by that news, we don't have to have sex. I want to have a one on one conversation with her. She trusts doctors more than anything so I know she will follow the rules. But just by looking at her, she mad.

When we got home to our little apartment. She hit me. Abusing me because she can't have sex. Then I cried. She looked at me crying and kneel downI apologize to me over and over. She told me she felt good and very happy that I fucked her this time and hard. But she explained herself why she was mad at me, making herself the innocent one. But I was okay with it. Yeah I do fcuking hate it when she do this shit to me, I hated it. I forgive her. I still let her do anything to me...anything..

What the **** is wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong. This is what a normal relationship do. We love each other.

I worked so hard for your love. I still love you. Feels good hun? I'm sure my mother is so proud of me before she was gone with a smile.

....

What am I joking. Our relationship is not even a relationship. More of a ****-buddy. But I don't mind it. Am happy just to be with her. Even though she don't see me as anything most likely.

Mom, I know I mess up, am so sorry....sorry for lying.

My "wife" is the only thing I have left in this family..

Years went by and I saw that boy form the movie. He looks like he waiting for someone...oh, of course, its my wife. They talked for a bit and he give her some good *** money it seems. Why here in this small store? And why she getting money form him. Then they both walked different direction.

I felt cocky and I follow him. It was a 30 minute walk. We're not at the store no more, but he went to a bar?I didn't know there a bar here. It was some what close by to my house. It still monring. I texted my wife I will be home late because of my job. She was fine with it, thankfully.

He sit down to the bartender to get drinks. Though I should join him. Am already here.

"Will you like to drink with me?" I asked. He agreed. Surprisingly, but I though talking with him will bring up something but we kept on talking. Hours went by. He was a chill guy. He funny, good looking and really open. He was saying about his family history of how his dad was in the army. And how he want to be army too. I didn't really care about that. I just learn about why he give my wife cash. But we both were drinking. It was a bad idea to join him drinking. We both were drunk..I ask him if he want some fun tonight.

He agreed. And it seems like he knows a good place to do it. Behind the bartender, there are these rooms for "lovers" to have fun. We went there and he push me down to the bed taking out the clothes I was wearing. Which they pretty much shit.

My clothes are just some random crap I thought I could put together. But when he start licking my lower half of me. I was scared, I never try this before. I never have sex with someone but my wife. Is this a good idea to do? I can't, I can't. I promised, but my body want him. Shit. The boy ask me if I was alright and also saying if I want this. I never had someone asking me this. He so nice.

I kiss him to answer his question. Then his hands went down basically making me moan. I honestly don't mind it, he did it softly which am not used to so I keep moaning. I told him he can go ruff with me but he said, "I will take my time with you. Am not wasting a beauty like yours" He grinned at me, then kiss me.

I was losing my body..I could help myself. I keep on mo*ning like a animal. He whisper to me saying if this is the frist time I done this. Made me laugh of course. I didn't think that this men will make me feel this way.

I start to move myself around so I can be the top this time around. I look at his blue, greenish eyes with a smirk besides just saying 'does it looked like am a ******.'

When I was punching myself up and down feeling his di*k going deeper inside of me. Splash, splash, splash. Couldn't hold in myself. But it doesn't matter to him that I lose cnntrol of it. He just keep on flapping faster to my ***. Which honestly making it even worse for me, since its just more coming out of me.

Oh ****. Just looking down at my body, I see so many god damn h*ckeys that he made. I got pissed and push him off me which his **** and him of course fall off the bed. I was "proud."

He didn't got mad or did anything he just looked at me. Akind wired honestly.

But I ain't worried about shit with this h*e, ain't scared. Been through with Lucifer. He speak...sorry, sorry. Then kiss me with those rose lips. Heh... if those gets in the way, I will show show my aggression.

Now am thinking of it. He looks cute. Have a baby face, soft body, pinkish skin with his prince charming act. He was funny whenever and whatever.

But I have no idea why am doing this...maybe because my bitch is going around f*cking with people. I was desined for our life bitch, and she give that way to this **** boy and f*cking. I sound like a slut right there honestly. I took this hand putting it on to my nips, well the left side. And yea, am sitting on top of him. Is that a problem? Or maybe I still want his sassy ***?

He got carry away and push me to the bed.. again. Going down below my topper body. Suck, suck, drink. The only answer was mo*ning. He was drinking it, drinking my wet and new, creamy c*m. I put him down, focusing him to drink more of my "stuff". Which he made for his pleasure

And oh yes...I enjoy every second of it. Which I don't know if I should feel proud or guilty about. Maybe this is why my she did it, my lover, my future, my wife did this. Or is it sex? Was I not good enough?

If so...then what's to live for? I miss her, I miss her...its ture that love is an war, which the heard will be broken. I just want her to live I know I go frist in the end...

It is ture that words are the weapon but do you know that hun? Your the one that's stalking my life. Killing me.

Wait...no, no, no. I don't want this to break, it's more then I will ever take. Everything is about to change when I start looking if I could survive the xscape. Ones am done fucking him, ones he asleep, I will found out the truth..

It took 3 god damn hours for him to stop. I was so fucked...I couldn't feel my body anymore...my *** was open...I mean f*cking open. My throat was sore from drinking his shit. Besides I could even recognize myself I feel my vines. Later on, I pass out on top of him sleeping with him..he was so warm, it felt nices

(I have to changes this part 5 time and am a little bit mad about, no more then mad..honestly is it because it wayyyy to much? If so then sorry, this story is not for child to be reading. I already made a warning sign in this part and the last stating that this part may be a little or more inappropriate. And seeing that this part of my story is not updating bc it's not like "approde"? Yeah I know this is cuss words but in all the years pretty sure that normal now.)