Dazai woke up with a yawn. The sun shone into the room like an annoying friend he would never ask for, bringing out his messy belongings to the light. It’s already 7 o’clock in the morning. Not too bad, to be honest, for someone who always wakes up at 8. He got about of bed and quickly got to the bathroom and washed his face. He looked in the mirror and let out a sigh as he cleaned the self-harm scars with water from the sink. Owww it hurts!! He sat on the floor as he bandages the scars with a growl. The brunette groaned more in exhaustion when he was finished and stood up.

A few moments later and now he’s done with the changing up. Yeah it’s “done” but the brunette’s clothes were messy as fuck, not that he complained though. He got down stairs and quickly took a cold toast from the fridge before dashing out of the door without another word.

—

The brunette walked through the school’s gate with a carefree expression. He noticed everyone seems to be quite... weird today, he guess? Love letters and confession, such unprofessional behaviors in school, even when Dazai never studied himself. Not his problems to care about though. The cherry blossom trees bloomed above his head, letting the pink petals gently falling down like light peacock’s feathers.

Suddenly, Atsushi approached him with a smile. The whitehead was strangely cheerful today, even when he normally was still cheerful.

- Ah, Dazai-san! You’re early today!

-Yeah, just the mood.- Dazai spoke calmly as he walked pass the smiling Atsushi.

They walked through the halls quietly without another word. Their footsteps were silenced by all the talking and chit-chattering from the students around them. The two kept their silence until suddenly Atsushi stopped him and pointed over a couple over there, confessing their love together. Dazai felt... disgusted. Yeah, they’re inlove, so? Did they have to show it out like that? Weird. He just couldn’t understand humans’ emotions.

- Everything’s so strange today, huh, Atsushi-kun?

- Yeah, the effects Valentine’s day have on everyone is just like that.

Oh? Oh. So that’s why. He never actually cared much such days like these, he’s not quite of a fan. But oh well, it comes once very year like a flu he’d hate to see. He found the word “love” is something useless, something that’s overused. People can say they “love this place”, they “love this food”, but Dazai always felt like they don’t actually love it like they say. Who are they to define the word “love”? Stupid, just pure stupidity. Atsushi and him kept walking until they reached the brunette’s locker. As he opened it, love letters fell out like water, nothing holding them back.

- Dazai-san sure has a lot of fans.- Atsushi spoke shyly, seemingly impressed and envious of his senior friend.

Dazai only smiled back without a reply. He couldn’t understand why people like him so much. Probably his appearance. His dreamy chocolate brown curls, his vacant dark reddish brown eyes, even the bandages all over his body. How could people be interested in him? He doesn’t have a clue.

He suddenly took notice of one of the letters he had. It was taped with hearts or had any red colors on it. Interesting. Dazai picked it up and gave a quick look before his eyes stopped on where was supposed to be the writer’s sign: Empty. Nothing, it was just nothing. So this somebody wanted to hide their identity from Dazai? He was starting to feel intrigued. The person said to meet them on the rooftop, probably to confess. He just couldn’t help himself from doing so this time... Oh boy, Dazai wanted to see who it is that had given him this special love letter.

A yawn escaped the brunette’s mouth as the bell indicated class has ended rang. He was finding interest in the earlier letter. It said to meet them at the rooftop after school. He walked quickly up there, of course with a crowd of other people following him for fun since he was the popular kid.

Up there, a familiar orange was seen, holding a bouquet of flowers in hand and a love letter. Dazai stepped forwards with a slight smirk. Him? He didn’t expect this person out of everyone to be here.

-Chuuya?

The redhead stayed silent for another moment before bringing the flowers in hand forwards and offered the boy in front of him. He was blushing and a stuttering mess, how cute.

-I l-like you, Dazai! W-Would you g-go out with m-me?

Wow. Just wow. Dazai could have never expect the redhead to like him. After all their rivalry and bantering, Chuuya still managed to like him. Just how sad it was for the redhead. How could the smaller one have guessed that the boy in front of him would do worse than just rejecting him? The poor little boy...

-You like me?- Dazai repeated, still surprised at the revelation.

-Yes, I like you... I’ve always do.

Dazai just couldn’t help himself, he really couldn’t... The brunette started laughing as the crowd around the both of them also did.

-You think I’d like you? Really? Pffftttt!— How could I ever like a person like you? No one would ever like you if you’re unattractive, Nakahara.

Ow... It hurt so much... Chuuya felt as if a thousand knifes were stabbing him. The laughter... The insults... He couldn’t take it. Tears fell down from his eyes it stained the love letter in his hand. As if they were fuel, Dazai snatched the bouquet of flowers Chuuya was holding and stomped on it while laughing at him as if he was a joke. Well, they were not wrong... He was a joke. The redhead quickly dashed away as tears started to blur his vision.

-

It has been 2 days. 2 days without Chuuya. Dazai was starting to get worried— No, how could he? He’s not gay... maybe? He doesn’t have an interest in dating nor anyone... does he? He was curious right now. Was he too harsh with Chuuya? Was it too much for the other boy? Oh well, he probably will just apologize to him...

The brunette walked around as he tried to look for Akutagawa, the redhead’s best friend. Soon, he was met with the familiar black hair at the corner of room.

-Hey, Akutagawa-kun! Do you know where Chuuya is?

There was a moment of silence as the blackhead glared at him before replying with a cold voice, his gaze dashing away to somewhere else as he talked.

-He came yesterday but not today.

-Then do you know his address?- Dazai asked curiously. He doesn’t usually care much for the redhead, but he wasn’t his “usual” today.

-If I’m not wrong, it’s at XXX-XXX. He’s probably home alone, his parents are out for the month.

-Thank you.

For the month? That was long... but it’s not Dazai’s problem, so whatever.

-

His footsteps didn’t make a noise as the brunette stood in front of a large house. He knocked on the door but instead of somebody coming out, the door itself creaked open with only a single knock. There wasn’t anyone looking so he guessed he could just walk in, right? Right...?

Inside the house was dark, not even a single light bulb was on. Dazai didn’t really care much as he kept walking in. He checked first was the kitchen, nothing. He just saw stuffs tossed around, take-outs and trashes weren’t even in the bin. Dirty. Messy. This wasn’t the Chuuya he knew. No, maybe it just what the redhead showed in class? Yeah, it must be it. Dazai walked a few more steps upstairs until he noticed the bathroom door was opened. He walked in, hoping to see the smaller boy but just to see bandages all around the bathroom, even toilet paper. Something was giving Dazai a bad vibe about this place, and he wasn’t liking it. Dazai backed away from the bathroom with a slight disgusted expression before noticing a door was slight opened.

He made his way there before opening the door, his eyes first noticing the bloody bandages and knife on the floor. What is that? Weird... His eyes slowly went up until he stopped.

-CHUUYA!

He ran towards the body dangling in the air as he quickly took off the ropes around his neck, bringing the smaller figure into his lap as his breaths were heavy. No, no, no, no... Please, this had to be a dream... Please, don’t die... Dazai hugged the corpse tightly as he murmured apologizes, tears staining his eyes after a few seconds.

-I’m sorry... I loved you too, Chuuya...

Dazai whispered with tears to the redhead, though he was too late...