He sees my everything

Even the parts of myself I don't even know about

He makes me so vulnerable ,using my weakness for his amusement

He said he'd welcome me ,that he'd embrace me

Whyd he turn so ugly, so red

Oh I see now, he was the devil welcoming me into his kingdom

Pulling my hands to take my own life

The red that clouded my vision was my own blood , my own damndation

Whyd he lie tho I would've eventually ended it all myself without his intervention

I would've went to him not because I loved him but because by his side was where I was punished to be.

His kingdom was a continuous repeat of my sorrows ,my weaknesses, my longing, my regret and even my own death.

Ha! I was hating my own self

The mirror in my kingdom all reflected me

I was the devil himself

I revel in the misfortune of others

I laugh at their weaknesses

I tempt them with my kingdom

Oh how do they not know

My kingdom , my lovely kingdom is the place where they should be

Those weak fools , clinging on to the words of others to find comfort for their pathetic lives.

They know not what real love or hatred is ,

Lonely , weak, stupid, insignificant vermons.

Anxiously trying to find meaning in their short lives why do they not get it!

Their lives will all eventually mean nothing

They feel as tho they are the smartest and important of all creation

but their insignificant cannot be measured

where do they get their egos

they get wrapped in foolish things like love

yet they do not know the true definition of it

but I guess that makes them similar to me for neither i nor them know not what love is.

however the hymn of death welcomes them

I welcome these incomplete beings into my kingdom.hoping they do not dirty it with their selfishness, arrogance ,togetherness

as we were all born alone so that is the way we should remain.

It creeps up on you when you least expect

It makes you wonder if the life you lived was worthy

Why does it make you so afraid , so weak

It makes you feel emotions that you shouldn't know how to feel

It is your weakness, your peace and your motivation

It makes you want to do your best

makes you want to feel happiness

but it makes you so vulnerable

It is the bain of your existence

It is your salvation from this wretched world

It will be the thing that frees you

It will be the thing that makes those who love me sad

But it is also the thing that makes you suffer no longer.

It will make you a wilting flower.

what is normal ,those standards they set.

but what do they know.

they are things that kill each other for things like land when their is so many

for food when there is so plenty

and even for other people when many more can be made

how lowly they are ,trying to live their passing time to the fullest when it is but a second of time in mine

Sometimes you have to wonder if it will all be alright, you worry about school , life ,Turning into an adult, becoming independent. You know life will have many challenges but what are you to do you can't hide under your parents arm forever,which you definitely don't want.its suffocating living in a place where you can't do anything be anything and your only purpose most of the time is to be of help to them.They curse you call you with words that seem so hard and yet you have to remain respectful, dutiful kind ,blah... blah... blah... that's all in in your head when you tune them out.You were hardly there. i know you tbh and yet I do love you , I don't know , you give promises you can't keep , both of you .you only talk when it has something to do with her , you seem to only want her as if I'm not important.We all know who your favorite is, you treat her so much better, you hardly hit her, while we mostly used to get hit, she eats and get told by the doctor that she's overweight while that was never the case for us , we had to bare hunger for hours unend waiting only for sthm to come only for her, then we tried to understand now we won't understand. you all speak to me as if i don't have feeling, like I don't matter, you only speak to me when it's something that suits you . what I think is boring not important what you think is always right. I don't have much to say about you tbh you are a whole don't know about now , you live a life one could never envy with a man nobody would ever want, with thoughts nobody supports , with morals everyone questions, what are you going to do , they are going to suffer if you continue like this .You guys should stop it's toxic , cheating , living, everything, you break up , go to different people, disrespect parents, make people suffer when your not in the mood or If your going through a relationship crisis. We all pretend but you pretend so much it's disgusting , one might ever know what is real.you want to leave away from everything and everyone who makes you feel small, you want. to leave the world not having to pretend anymore to suit anybody's ideals, nothing...... nothing.......NOTHING... just make it stop, let it all end

I CANNT WRITE ANYMORE

I can't write anymore

why are you still typing

I wanna stop

I HATE SCHOOL

I hate going out

I don't eat much nowadays

I'm graduating this year

yaytyyyy

I don't gave to go to school

when will this word count end

Cho

mi cyah bada enuh

mi wag gah mi bed

mi hate di world

mi wah stop do reverting Inna life

yes this us a real language

leave it alone

why yuh still a read