My anxiety comes more with being alone, I get super scared cause my house is very old and makes sounds all the time. But it also applies to social environments if I don’t feel comfortable I’m constantly on edge and get light headed from breathing to hard. I always leave the lights on. I don't like it dark, it makes me feel alone. When i'm at a dark place I would try to find the nearest source of light and stay near there. I sleep in the dark the lights annoy me and when I’m scared I just shut my eyes really tight or when I’m downstairs getting a bottle of water and the lights are off, I run down: grab it: run back. When i'm alone, i often feel like someone is behind me even if there isn't anything. When i walk home from school, when I walk to school, when i'm taking my dog out, when I'm at public WC.... It's just a feeling but nothing chases you. Its just the feeling that something is after you... Something is lurking while you are alone.. I still feel uneasy right now.. *hard breathing*

I suffer from anxiety and I have to take medicine everyday to control it. It really sucks. One day I decided to not take the medicine anymore, and after one week it started to affect me physically. I couldn't even eat or stay quiet, I felt even more depressed, it was like the world was falling. I felt like I was going to die. Whenever I ate I felt like I would throw up. I started taking the medicine again, and after some days I got better. The kind of anxiety I have is social anxiety so when I like do a presentations at school I start shaking because of how nervous I am and when a stranger says or asks something when I’m at a store I go completely speechless or speak fast.

Anxiety has taken over my life since the i was 12 (guess my age now) and it usually comes to me in the night. That's when I'm not doing anything so that's when anxiety comes in. I hear strange noises sometimes and my mind creates images everywhere kinda life hallucinations. I start to get light headed or feel like I'm about to faint kinda like when your life flashes through your eyes. When I'm out of hallucinations I find myself sweating, really bad. Usually, anxiety hits me on either the past or future never really in the present. I think about bad stuff that happened in the past and what bad will happen in the future. It's like a demon is taking over you and your brain and you cant control it. 24/7 feels like you're being judged or not good enough. Not fit for the world. Depression, is more like "I want to kill myself" but anxiety is kinda like "but what would happen if I killed myself? Its basically just those thoughts filling up your head in about ANY and EVERY situation you come upon. I know I need help but I have social anxiety. I dont like talking about my problems unless you're my mom but I've gotten better. It's less stressful now and I hope I can handle it better...

When I used to have sleep over with some of my friends, I would ask to keep the lights on and they made fun of me for it. Needless to say it didn't make me feel comfortable about it. People ask me and yell at me about why I leave lights on... It's because this is what I see day and night daily. I mean even if you don't have anxiety. If you saw this, Would you wander in the dark?

I would still wonder around in the dark. I could wonder out there for hours until my legs start to hurt or when I feel uncomfortable

People always ask me why I’m afraid of the dark, there are two reasons for me:

- Not knowing my surroundings or who is in my surroundings.

- The though of someone taking it as an advantage to hide and then attack me

I have this weird thing I do in order to sleep. If none of these rules apply to the situation and I haven't done any of them, I freak out and start thinking of everything bad and scary that could happen to me

- Its daylight and I'm just taking a nap every room within my perspective is illuminated

-There has to be light coming from another room in order for me to go to bed. If not I imagine there is a burglar hiding in a corner waiting for me to shut my eyes in order to hurt me.

-I need to have some commentary or some fun video (I watch Tasty Cooking challenges in my case)when I'm getting shut eye. I can't sleep in silence if I'm by myself.

- I'm with a bunch of other people(2 - 7) and we're talking and I know they are all there and I'm not the only one awake.

-Last but not least I can NEVER go to bed right after watching a scary video. I always need to watch memes or something fun and up going in order for me to sleep. I've had plenty of nightmares and it felt like I was stuck there for eternity, having to suffer.

Simple note from me; You are never alone. You will always have a friend, be it your parents, someone you met online, or a nice stranger on the street. I keep going with this knowledge and hope you can realize that too. Never be afraid of loneliness because it never existed. Someone out there always cares.

I'm really sorry if this bored you out or didn't interest you. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

Thank you for those who have read this.