so when freshman year started I thought that I would make friends and go to clubs maybe even be invited to party's. before I entered highschool I had perfect grades so I thought that would carry over and that I would end up with a scholarship, I was so excited to start the year. I was in an performing arts academy for theater. now I entered highschool at the age of 13 so I was already younger than everyone. I made one friend because I had gauges but I soon messed that up because he was cheating on his girlfriend and I told her. then I became friends with a group of juniors who I thought liked me but really they thought I was annoying and they found it funny to play along. finally I got a real friend but by that time I decided to transfer schools. at my new school I was going with my older brother and his friends, I even ran into my old best friend. I thought my highschool life was finally looking up but things got dark. the girlfriend of my best friend thought we were sneaking around behind her back... we tried so hard to explain that we have been friends for years and nothing more but she didn't listen. she started spreading rumors about me and telling everyone I was easy. I was 13 and never even kissed a guy. I was scared that the rumors would get back to my brother and that's when my anxiety started acting up. I was made fun of constantly and barely wanted to go back to school. she tormented me for the few months I went there and my grades dropped. I was put in counseling because I was harming myself and skipping school. the torment didn't stop at school, when I went home her and her friends made fake profiles and attacked me online. all of this because I was friends with her boyfriend because we were close. Everyone at school thought I was easy and would send nudes to them. I couldn't escape, the only one who treated me like a person was my older brother, he was there for me and was the reason I woke up and went to school. He told me to just focus on school and work hard. I was finally starting to feel okay again but then the worst thing possible happened. A few days after my little brothers birthday I was at school. I was called to the office, as I waited to find out what was going on I see my grandmother walk into the office, tears in her eyes. she sat next to me and told me my brother had died. turns out he killed himself in his friends house next door to our home. when he wasn't in bed in the morning I thought he just went go see his friend as he usually did, but actually at that time he was next door with a gun to his head. I was only 14 at the time... I had lost my brother, had no friends and was failing school I thought I would never get through that time, but I did. if you want to hear more please check in next time.