"Come to my room"

That's what he texted me the first thing I stepped to their house. I looked around and saw no one around so I just made my way through his room.

I'm quite excited and happy because I really missed him so much! We haven't seen each other for a while because we're both busy with our academics especially that it was our hell week.

"Babz!" I called him. That is our callsign to each other. Babz because we both love to eat and I was chubby before but now, he also is becoming one hahaha.

I quickly lessen the gap between us ang hugged him tightly. I missed him so much. I feel so comfortable and safe. It's really comforting to be hug by this man. I smiled even more when I felt that he hugged me back also and it is very tight. But, that's what made my heart melt and flutter.

Once I hug him, it is so hard for me to let go. That's why, he's always the first one to let go hahaha. If I could just hug him every second.

After the hug, there's something strange that i'm feeling. A feeling that im also been feeling the past weeks. Why do I have this bad feeling? No, no. I'm just overthinking again. I always have a wrong gut right?

But no. I somehow agree that women's instinct are right. But just this time.

"I don't want this anymore." he said as he hugged me again. Tightly.

I can't move. I'm shocked. I think that my mind has also been blocked. My heart felt numb. I can't utter a single word.

I just find myself pushing him and looking for a sit because I think that my energy just drained.

I saw how his eyes twinkle with those tears. How painful it is for me to see the man that I love cry.

After how many minutes, I finally speak.

I nod and said that "Okay. It's okay" and smiled even if tears are flowing down my cheeks.

"It is okay" even if my heart aches so much I dont know what to do with it.

"It is okay" even if I dont want to let him go.

"But don't worry. I'm still your bestfriend. Right?" I nodded. Of course, if he's still my friend, I can still stay by his side.

Yes. I agree. We're still friend.

I think that, it can not be that hard. It will be okay. I think that, nothing will really change after this. The new set - up will not be that hard. Im still his friend. I am his friend ever since.

But there's one thing I forgot to say.

There's nothing between us. Yes, we love each other but nothing more. We love each other but we are just friends.

Now, he's ending the love between us, but we are still friends.

After all, we are bestfriends.

I'm lying here in my bed and just staring blankly at my ceiling. I should not cry. Not again. Not here.

I already cried a lot in the bus haha. And no one should see me crying in this house. No way.

I gotta pick myself because it'll be Monday again. Classes again. Why does it so hard to be a college student.

Thinking back, it still feels so unreal. I'm feeling numb at the same time I'm hurt.

He made sure that I got on the bus and texting me to update him if I already got home.

Stupid me because, I dont want to reply him. I dont want to see him again.

Its just that i'm still hurt.

But, I also decided that I will stay right?

Now, now, i'm so confused.

I might just go with the flow. I should stay strong.

Mind as well, I'll just go to sleep. Because later, is another nightmare.

--

Weeks passed, we haven't really that strong communication anymore. Sometimes, i'm the one who's making the space because the pain just keeps on coming back.

*ting*

I was shocked, excited and hurt when I saw his name pops out. He reminded me of our film showing tomorrow.

We are both part of a production. I'm a make - up artist and he's the audio. And tomorrow, one of our big film will be shown in the mall.

I'm thinking not to go because I will see him again and some of his family.

Well, his uncle is our director and most of the staff are his cousin.

And, for 3 years of friendship and 2 years of more than a friendship, I already know most of them. He already introduced me to his family.

As a bestfriend.

But I have no objections. We already talked about it the moment we confessed to each other.

It's still also not the right time to be in a relationship and we made promises to our mothers. That's why, we just settled of loving each other without being in a relationship.

But during those years, we know that he is mine, I am his.

But, that is that. haha.

Going back, he's still persuading me to attend.

What should I do? I don't know what I should do and How should I act if I will go.

"I won't come if you won't come. You know me. I'll do what I said."

Now, now.

I also don't want him to miss the show! Geez! He surely know how to get me. Hays.

Why are you doing this to me :<

"Fine. Fine. I'll go. Just make sure that you'll also, okay?"

Defeated. Or what you call, "Marupok".

"See you then, babz :)"

O M G

Okay, just calm down Miks. Calm down.

What more if you'll see him again tomorrow?

Oh no! What will happen tomorrow?!!!