~Story time~

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(People normally ask, ‘would you die for me?’ Normally getting the common lie in return ‘yes, absolutely’ I can never seem to hide my amusement. The irony isn’t lost on me, a world famous doctor who tries to secretly kill herself everyday. I don’t actively advertise it, but I’m not exactly one of those over dramatic people who try to hide their depression, but, I’m just saying, if you’re trying to hide it for a actual reason that if you put into words and they’d make sense to a normal person, then, you’re not falling into the abyss, you just accidentally stumbled into that dark path that leads to the actual abyss, where it’s dark, and you can’t find a way out unless a hand reaches to you to pull you out)

(Hopeless cases are what you call people like me. Successful, loved, hot, and still found life meaningless, but honestly, does it really matter?)

(Life will find ways to fuck you over. Some people are strong enough to fuck life back, and some will prefer to wallow in their own self misery and think that the weight of the world is on their shoulders)

The thing about dying is that you’re never ready for it

You can mentally prepare for days, months, hell, years even, and you still won’t be prepared

I never wanted a painful death, but quiet and painless don’t go together when you’re trying to suicide. No, this pathetic, stupid and cruel world needs to make you create a big scene.

Now, I’m not experienced enough to describe every method of dying to you, but I can tell you how it will feel to jump of a skyscraper.

I felt…almost panicked? Like what the hell was I doing? There were over a hundred people below me, I had patients, my friends would be confused. I had a board meeting today. Dying wasn’t an option, not today, I still had to play Perfect Doctor.

Then came the peace, I couldn’t care less, I was gonna be free, you know, I almost smiled, Jun Yu, wouldn’t have believed it. His entire reasoning for calling for calling off the wedding was that I was ‘emotionally dead’.

I found out later that he had been cheating on me since the first month of dating.

Particularly satisfying thing about jumping to your death, is that it feels like you’re in a movie and it’s being played in slow motion. The sounds stopped, people moved slower, their frames and silhouettes growing larger as I game closer to death. I know two things, in my opinion one of the few perks of being a doctor, one, I would hit unconsciousness almost immediately and no one could save me this time, and two, the keywords had been, Almost immediately. I knew I was gonna suffer excruciating pain, even if I was just for a couple seconds

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SPLAT

The sound was honestly pretty ugly

I was conscious enough to see some brave people advance towards me, some had their cameras out, two were trying to salvage what remained of my destroyed body, everything was blurry. I saw Suna Choi yelling, trying to run towards me. Poor thing. Who called her? I didn’t even register the distant wail of the ambulance, it was useless, I was numb, I’d landed flat on my back, probably had a severe spinal injury

I was losing consciousness

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Everything is dissolving…

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It….stopped?

I could barely register that no one except us was moving, speaking, everything was gray

Now, everything was starting to dissolve

I was hallucinating, I had to be, people started moving again and no one saw this bizarre creature

And unless my eyes were deceiving me, that woman just walked through her like she didn’t exist

Somehow, I wasn’t dead yet, and somehow, I knew this woman had stopped time, and somehow, she delayed my dead by roughly ten minutes, and she is a hallucination, she had to be

I was fading in and out of consciousness by now

Almost….this woman…,is delaying me again….

And finally it was over

Or so I thought