In the late June, when the rain was unstoppably pouring down, covering everything with the sound of its heavy drops like millions of beating drums, it all started then!!

I remember, I could hear every odd rain's drop matching the loud thumping of my palpitating heartbeat, and the "red" sensation on my cheeks felt so wild when, anywhere else could feel the monsoon's jittering cold breeze brushing against the lukewarm skin bringing up a weird sensation, could say. It was all so peculiar! The gloomy scenery just outside the windowpane now seemed tempting, a stark contrast to my thoughts just moments before; a stupid but desperate wish to accelerate my jammed feet towards that uncertain destination above, which we all pictured in our heads, and to reach there, I had to take the risk of diving down from that window (yes…exactly, it is heaven dear). But!!…but!, unfortunately I couldn't possibly do that, common guys I am not brave enough to face that hurdle yet, aka. coward. Yeah!! Well on to the topic again, all of this expected unexpectedly things happened when a person came up to me…

           "hey! umm…… I am ______\, and I wanted to say something"

yes, and what do you expect from a fool in this kind of situation, what do you think they'll do? I just exactly did that!! (ha...ha...ha...) [to be honest, I don't really remember their name, kinda bad with name and faces!(heh) sorry to that person, but hey! I did remember this situation though]. I said, *'yes, what is it?' WOW! just before this I was frozen like a popsicle, my eyes were frantically moving like a half-dead zombie in awkwardness, or like when you are busy avoiding the teacher's gaze when they ask a question, but you don't know shit! mmm... that's how it was. I bet that person might have thought I was a weird one or was wrong in the head. But, do I care? I don't! (a part of me does!, boohoo.....).*

             "umm… I silence more silence some more silence"

 […. 10 YEARS LATER …. ]

(JOKE, IT IS A JOKE, SORRY, JUST, AM TOO CHRONIC ON THE INTERNET)

CONTINUATION:          "really like you".*

then what? what am I supposed to do?! [my internal monologues were shaking so gravely, they were on rampage going wild] WHAT THE HELL KIND F SITUATION IS THIS??? is what might've been my invisible real expression was expressing.

**FLASHBACK:     a merrily thought of mine once upon a time: *'I will reject all who confess to me! not that it will ever gonna happen, like what is the probability of it really happening, seriously (scoffs), I know myself well come-on, with my personality it is close to impossible'

BREAKING INSIDE THE FLASHBACK: **IS WHAT I THOUGHT BACK THEN!!!

                                                             END OF FLASHBACK

Now, now, now... it really happened someone did actually confess to me!! they said that they like me(--''). [that's a serious problem, what is wrong with you, seriously, me, YOU⇾ like ME⇽, why?, no really, why?] what am I supposed to feel about this plot line, I am no main character, and this is not even a shara la la la la moment, I can't even see any background flowers you can usually witness in those comics. What do I say? was the only thing continuously being ranted like a spell, and probably if this was included in a comic the background scene would be filled with it. I did say that I would reject them all, the problem lied with HOW?, to come all the way not knowing how to actually reject the said person, ha ha funny!, ERROR, PLEASE FIX IT,   ERROR   ERROR!!! SHUTTING DOWN PLEASE WAIT.

No problem I've got some ways to deal with this very situation, thank me later you stupid brain.

WITH CAUTION: WAYS TO REJECT SOMEONE:

1. Lie with white teeth: I am sorry\, I have a partner.

2. Apologies like your life depends on it: pardon\, this is so sudden I am so sorry\, but...uh... sorry....(honestly idk myself about this one).

3. Spew full-blown nonsense to not hurt their feelings: I really appreciate it\, I am sorry\, but I don't really feel the same way\, I will have to turn you down\, then if you excuse me.

4. Savage: I don't like you SILENCE (then walk off)⇾ yeah the attitude and then walk off one lmao.

 Thanks for learning such valuable lessons from me!('- _ -'/)

Sadly, my personality does not allow me to be rude to others, or I would've gone along with the fourth option. I know, I know, such a shame, but if you are curious as to what this deranged personality which mimics to be sane chose, then, it is the meek one. The third one, I just rambled that.

I honestly believe this could very well can be included in my bravery record or accomplishments. If possible I would like to even include this in my bio-data! unfortunately that's a no-go. (The big fishes who overlook the resumes won't applaud this knight's much accomplished unexpected fit, they won't accept my bravery~ someone once said that, that someone is me).

So, with much accomplishment I somehow passed that hurdle, and now I got to remember this "historic legendary first confession happening moment" as an untouched surface of that scorching sun, which is better left untouched then getting burnt with shame again.

                          With this, we ought to finish this chapter, see ya'll next chapter, Bye~~~

Good Day to you all READERS!!

First I would like to introduce my humble self, as I don't think you would want a nameless character as your narrator, now do you? My name is Janes Vert, and I am 21 this year. I live in [I will leave it to your preference because I don't know places that much myself]. I am an only child, and to be honest with that I am a lost cause too. I will just attach the things related to myself below, you can read it if you want to get to know my character better.

NAME: JANES VERT                               .       [not given by me]

AGE: 21                                                          [that's how much I have suffered]

BOD: B+ve                                                     [mosquitoes are my vampires, sorry]

HEIGHT: 5'3                                           

 [they say I'm small]

WEIGHT: 53 Kg                                               [I weigh just like my problems]

GENDER: FEMALE                                        [did you thought otherwise]

MBTI: INFP                                                      [I am red, don't wanna admit, wear rose-tinted glasses yall~]

HOBBY: THINKING, SINGING, WRITING & READING POEMS.

LIKES: INTERESTING THINGS.

DISLIKES: MY EXISTENCE.

DREAM: TO BE AN OFFICE WORKER         [earn money in bulk (can I get some money)]

As the narrator of this story, how I wish I could tell you all my majestic and unique qualities, shame I've got none[ha ha ha], don't get too disheartened though, we will make up for it along our way. But, I can still share some of my bad and good qualities with you! let's start with the good ones because bad ones are more interesting so let's savor it down later the line. My good qualities would include, me being able to sympathize with others easily and not hurting their feelings, a good listener, I am very open-minded, I am very loyal too, other than these I can't really say anything on the matter, I mean I do like many things, and I am good at being alone too, but those do not really fit well with the topic quality right?

Then, moving on we've got my bad qualities: I am a pushover, I don't really take good care of myself, don't have a healthy boundary, sometimes I can be overreactive and sensitive, and then clash with my own beliefs, bad at communicating, hate being criticized, I get hurt easily, can't really go against other people [not wanting to fight, trying to maintain the balance], not prioritizing myself, in simple words hardcore people pleaser. There can be many more of which I am yet to be aware of. Still, if I have to choose or pick something I absolutely hate about myself, it would be that I can't really communicate my own discomfort to others. One such example would be, when I get sick, I don't get what is wrong or where it is hurting me, how do I describe the pain, and so I keep silent about it enduring it the best I can. And that is my problem, if someone asks me where it is hurting or am I okay or not, I get annoyed because I can't really answer them. I hurt them, I know they care about me, but I can't help it being like this I can't really understand my pains too, I can't find any words to describe them, while I endure the pain and people ask me I just stay silent because I don't want to blurt out words I don't really mean at the moment and hurt them, but being silent only increases their worries and questions, being frustrated from all of this how do you think I could say nice things. I feel so pathetic that I am like this, and that I can't seem to change this no matter how much I try.  I am just so sorry!!

Enough of the depressing stuff, and to lighten up the mood we will now discuss my likes and dislikes in order.

Like:

I like sour and spicy things, vegetables [except cucumber], reading, writing, singing, talking to myself, imagining things especially about world destruction, dark magic or fantasy creatures lol. my favorite colour is blue, though I like every colour but after blue I am into maroon. I am a cat person, but am also a dog person. I like owls in birds, wolves in wild animals, in mythical/fantasy: nine-tail fox, sirens, vampires; I like dark magic like necromancy, witches, magics. In weapon: archery, daggers, sniper, string, etc. long range ones. For class: assassins, mage, demon, villain[because I am too good I would like to be bad for once]. I like beautiful and cute things, I like collecting things, collecting flowers or leaves and pressing them for decorations; performing skits, playing chess[I am not good at it though], word games, drawing too, but I am not good at it, I like handicrafts and want to learn them, such as crocheting, knitting, embroidering, and clay pots, and many more. I like finding meanings, new words, understanding feelings, and stuffs.

Dislikes:

The things I respectfully don't like would be, the vegetable cucumber, the fruit chikoo, forcing me/ when someone orders me around, nosy people, rude ones, and cheaters/abusers, as a picky eater other than egg and chicken [that too once in a while] no meat or fish, doing chores, oh I forgot to mention I foremost HATE!! my existence, and other than that I don't like mingling with people as a fellow introvert. Don't like going outside my room, going outside drains my energy soooooo..... much, I hate it!!

That's all for now, we will now move on to something else,

Some of my poems:

1. I would love to fall for your hateful remarks,

    like as if I could never understand the malice behind.

    but, so far I couldn't bring myself to tell

    as I wept in silence

    for it becomes too much to bear.

    how can one be so cruel

   do they not care to know what words can do?

   Are they not aware, how sharp their blades embadid the wounds

   Even a sturdy wall can crumble down

   if someone keeps picking at the cracks.

   And, I am not that strong to begin with,

   don't hurt me

   becuase I cannot bring myself to blame you.

   If you just stay silent,

   maybe it can be more peacful.

2. Blue

I sat this place alone,

Sober through all.

Feeling drowned in me.

What's this feeling called?

The hushness is so loud.

But theirs a whirlwind in me.

These emotions mixed up,

Are creating a deep sea!

I'm floating upon my feelings.

While the dark clouds are hovering upon me.

Ready to Pierce me by,

The drops of its truth, I wish to escape sometimes.

This melancholy vibes keeps me in check.

I tried to flee this prison of sand.

Which will be falling soon,

But I am trapped in this feeling of blue.

3. L'Espoir

Sometimes you'll find, tranquility in pain.

The grey clouds who honours your emotions,

will help you let it go through their rain.

The emulsion of confusion

or the meadows with the rays.

After the various storms,

still awaits a new day.

Even if you're eccentric.

Or close to the perfect stage.

Just believe in your beauty

you're the world's unique taste.

4. Waiting for you!

Wanted someone to be my green,

But everyone came by as blue.

Like a strong current of tide

Destroying that feeble line I drew.

I was getting used to some

But now we are apart too.

now, nothing is going the right way.

I am waiting for the time to fly

Until it reaches a moment new.

5. And in the hands of future,

    we painted the skies.

    Now,

    Some are trying to reach it.

    And some are just looking

    with unknown desire in their eyes.

That's all for now.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

This chapter is getting boring, and I know, it was not that entertaining, I am sorry, I don't really have much of writing experience, I am still a novice, I'll try to make your read more fun, and unfortunately I would like to end today's chapter here, as it is getting a little hard for me to make a head or tail out of this one. Again I am very sorry.

See you at next chapter, BYE~~