Cassandra

I woke up to my mother dragging me out of bed by my hair. I thrashed and fought, but it was no use. I didn't even know what I'd done — all I felt were her blows raining down while she yelled at my brother to help drag me outside and down the stairs because she couldn't manage it alone.

I didn't have time to react. She'd caught me completely off guard, and I still had no idea what was happening.

I was wearing a thin pair of shorts and a tank top — my usual sleepwear. We were in the dead of a brutal winter. She threw me onto the porch in thirty-seven-degree weather, barely dressed. I always slept under heavy blankets and liked wearing light pajamas to bed, but I bitterly regretted that choice the second the wind hit my exposed skin. Goosebumps crawled across every inch of me, and the cold sank so deep into my muscles that even trembling hurt.

I pounded on the door, my whole body seizing up, the cold claiming me piece by piece until I could barely move.

"What did I do, Mom?" I cried.

"You little wretch," Beth spat. "Because of you, your brother's tuition is late and he's about to get expelled. How could you not pay it, Cassandra? You have a job. You always have money. What did you spend it on? Tell me — what was more important than your brother's education?"

I hated my name. Even more when she said it, in that shrill voice that turned my stomach. I preferred Cass — the nickname my dad used to call me. Soft and sweet, just like he was with me.

"The money didn't stretch far enough," I said. "You guys spent more than planned this month."

"Oh, so now it's our fault, Cassandra?"

"You're the one who's incompetent. A worthless bum who can't even bring enough money home."

"I need more than just the bare minimum to survive, and you know that," Jhosh chimed in.

I cried in desperation, freezing on that porch. If they didn't let me back inside, I was going to die right there.

"Please let me in so I can get dressed," I begged. "I need to go to work."

"Just so you can't say I'm a monster, I'll give you one more chance," Beth said. "But let me be clear — this is the last time I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Hurry up, get inside, get dressed, and go to work. But no breakfast. That'll teach you that there are priorities in life and that you haven't been trying hard enough for us — your family."

"Or have you already forgotten your father's words?"

I decided to ignore everything she said and walked inside, but I hit the floor the second I crossed the threshold. My brother had stuck his foot out to trip me.

I pretended it didn't hurt. That was what I did best in life — pretend everything was fine. That nothing hurt, nothing stung, that I was unbreakable. Meanwhile, inside, I was gluing myself back together shard by shard, day after day.

I picked myself up and headed for the stairs to get ready for work. I was still shaking from the cold, but at least the chill indoors was bearable compared to what I'd just endured outside.

"And today you need to go see your fiance," Beth called after me. "It's been days since you've gone out with him. You think he's going to wait around forever? It's way past time to set a wedding date, Cassandra. Maybe then you'll stop falling behind on the bills and learn to do more for your family."

I kept quiet, though the answer was right on the tip of my tongue.

I just spun on my heels and started up the stairs to the second floor.

I got to my room, got dressed, and came back down heading straight for the door without stopping to talk to anyone. It was the only way to have any peace in that place.

Last week I'd had a routine checkup at work, and the doctor told me I was underweight — that I needed to eat better. But how was I supposed to eat better in a place like this?

* * *

Cassandra

After battling through a packed subway, I finally made it to work for another day of putting up with the insufferable Renan. He never got tired of ordering me around with tasks that had nothing to do with the company — picking up his dry cleaning, making grocery lists for his apartment, and on and on. But I played along and acted like everything was fine. Getting fired wasn't part of my plan. I needed this job at all costs, even if it meant doing way more than my actual duties.

The workday went by fast. Even though I couldn't stand what I did and was at my limit with Renan's tantrums, I kept going. The thought of being unemployed and having to deal with Elisabeth's meltdowns full-time kept me in line.

I left work after dark, and since I knew I'd catch another beating if I didn't do what my mother told me, I went to see my fiance. A fiance I didn't love and had zero desire to marry. I went straight from the office without stopping at home to avoid any drama. I knew he'd be there — he'd left the company early, claiming he was tired.

My mother had been pressuring me to get married because she figured I'd be more profitable to her with a husband. As if all the money she already took from me every month wasn't enough.

I knew I was being a pushover. I shouldn't have given her a single cent, and I shouldn't have let her hit me or treat me like garbage. But I'd grown up that way — always obeying, always loyal to my parents.

I loved my father with everything I had, and he'd gotten sick and passed away three years ago. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt, especially because my mother had never loved me. She'd always treated me differently from my brother Jhosh. He was her golden child, always spoiled rotten, while she resented me with a fury — all because my father took care of me and protected me. It was like some kind of obsessive jealousy, or something.

My father died at home, holding my hand. His last words were a plea for me to keep taking care of my mother, even though she wasn't an easy person and neither she nor my brother deserved it. He asked me to promise because he didn't want to leave this world with a broken family. To him, family should always protect each other. Even if it meant breaking myself to keep that promise, I gave him my word. Those were the last words he ever heard me say — "I promise, Dad" — and he closed his eyes and left this world.

If things were hard when my father was alive, afterward it turned into a living hell. I was accused of killing him. My mother walked in the moment he closed his eyes, saw me there holding his hand, and it was nothing but screaming, slapping, and hair-pulling. I got beaten at the most painful moment of my life — beaten right beside the body of my protector, the only person on earth who truly loved me. And lying there next to him, all I could do was cry. Not from the beating, but from losing my best friend.

I knew I should've stood up to my mother, but every time I remembered my father's words, I ended up accepting whatever she threw at me. It felt like going against her would mean disappointing him. It might sound stupid, but it was his dying wish, and that tore me apart. I didn't have the strength to go back on what I'd promised. And Elisabeth knew it — she threw it in my face every time I tried to push back.

The fiance my mother arranged for me was also my boss — the same insufferable man who drove me crazy all day. He'd always hit on me, and I'd turned him down again and again, day after day, managing to keep that sleazeball at arm's length. Until he teamed up with my mother, and I ended up accepting him in my life. But honestly, I felt nothing for him. I'd been stringing him along because we'd only had sex once, and I never wanted it to happen again. He didn't last five minutes, finished, rolled over, and fell asleep while I lay there like an idiot trying to process what had just happened. There was no way this could go on. We were living a lie — a pathetic situation for both of us. Being tied to someone you don't love is one of the most absurd things in the world.

I arrived at his apartment. The entire way there, I'd been thinking of a way to end this relationship and come out unscathed. But when I got there, I didn't need to make any effort at all. The second I opened the door — I had a key — I found him on the couch with a woman riding him while he sucked on her breasts.

I slow-clapped at the scene, just to make a little show of it and play the offended fiancee. That way I could walk out of this garbage engagement with my head held high. Because in the end, if he cheated on me, it meant he never really wanted me — and that made me feel a lot less guilty about stringing him along.

* * *

Cassandra

Renan jumped at the noise I made, leaping off the couch and dumping the girl onto the floor. I had to fight hard not to laugh. If someone had filmed that, it would've gone viral — the greatest blooper of the century. I felt bad for the girl, but inside I was cackling like a hyena. Oh, I absolutely laughed. The poor thing fell off the couch — or rather, was launched off it — and landed flat on her back with her legs in the air, completely bewildered.

My dear ex-fiance Renan came over trying to talk, but I just slipped off my engagement ring, left it on the side table by the door, pivoted on my heels, and walked out without a single word. He didn't follow — he was completely naked. I imagined he went to get dressed and maybe helped the girl who was still lying on the living room floor, no doubt confused out of her mind.

I got to the bus stop, and luckily the bus was already pulling up, which bought me extra time in case he tried to come after me.

My only concern now was my job. I hadn't been working there very long and didn't have much experience. I needed to work — without a paycheck, I had nothing. My life was already chaos while employed; I couldn't imagine what it would look like without a job.

My goal was to save enough money to move out of my mother's house and stop supporting her. Sure, I'd promised my father I'd take care of her, but bankrolling her and my brother was too much. Living on my own, I could still visit and be around them while keeping my personal space — space that they constantly invaded.

I got home after about forty minutes on the bus. During the ride, I'd updated my resume and started sending it out to agencies. The second I landed another job, I was out of that company run by that spoiled, cheating playboy.

The moment I walked in, my mother hit me with that signature look — the one that said she already assumed I'd done something wrong. When it came to me, that look was always there.

"Good evening," I said.

"What are you doing home at this hour?" Beth snapped. "Weren't you supposed to be sleeping at your fiance's place? The way things are going, some other woman's gonna snatch him up and you'll be left sucking your thumb."

"Too late," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Someone already did."

"What are you talking about, girl?" That same tone of anger and disbelief, always.

"I went over there and found Renan screwing some girl in the living room."

"And you just came home?" Beth exploded. "Instead of kicking the tramp out and showing him that he's yours and he has an owner? Have you lost your mind, Cassandra?"

She said it in pure disbelief and fury while I let out a bitter laugh.

I was exhausted. Wiped out. The beating that morning had been the last straw, and this conversation was making everything spill over at once. Forgive me, Dad, but I was about to blow up and abandon everything.

"The woman" — I emphasized the word woman, because there was no reason to disrespect her — "didn't betray me. He did. So I've got nothing to settle with her, and I'm certainly not going to 'kick her out'" — I made air quotes — "of a place that doesn't belong to me. As for him, our relationship is more than over."

I barely finished the sentence before pain exploded across my face. A slap, so fast I didn't see it coming.

"Don't you dare break up with him, Cassandra," Beth snarled. "I set up this husband for you because I know you'll never amount to anything on your own or find a decent man. At least marrying a rich one might get you somewhere."

"It's really hard to get anywhere," I shot back, "when my own family is hanging off me, dragging me down nonstop."

She raised her hand to hit me again, but this time I was faster.

I caught her wrist in midair and squeezed hard.

I saw the shock in her eyes. This was the first time in my entire life I'd stood up to her, and it was long overdue. I couldn't let my promise keep me trapped in this hell forever.

"Enough, Elisabeth," I said. "I'm tired. I let all this crap go on for way too long, but starting today, you don't manipulate me anymore. And you don't lay a hand on me again."

"Starting today, if you raise your hand to me one more time, I'll forget every promise I made to my father. I'll forget you're my mother. And I'll pay back every single thing you've put me through."

"How dare you, you little wretch?" Beth hissed. "I'm your mother."

"And do you actually remember that?" I fired back. "Or are you just pulling that card now because it's convenient?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Jhosh stormed in yelling like a maniac, wedging himself between us, already siding with the one who'd always spoiled him.

"Your sister is threatening me," Beth cried, "and on top of that, she broke off the engagement. How are we supposed to live, Jhosh, if this idiot can't even manage to get married? She's probably going to get fired now too, after dumping Renan."

"I don't know what you did," Jhosh said, turning to me, "but you're going back there and begging your fiance for forgiveness. Tell him you do want to marry him."

I laughed out loud.

"Oh, that's rich. Now you think you can boss me around too? Get a grip, kid. I've put up with more than enough — not just from her, but from you too, you spoiled little brat."

My brother was seventeen, but he'd never worked or done a single thing with his life except mooch off my father and then off me. A certified deadbeat and a user, just like our mother.

"Enough, Cassandra," Beth commanded. "Go to your room right now and think about the nonsense you're spewing and the mess you've made. Tomorrow morning you'd better be ready early. I'm going to ask Renan to come have breakfast with us so we can sort things out and you can apologize to him."

"Apologize to him?" I said.

I said it laughing, with every ounce of cynicism and contempt I could muster.

"I'm going to do that right now."

I laughed again, glaring at both of them.

"Don't hold your breath."

I started to walk away, then stopped and turned back.

"That's never going to happen, Elisabeth. NEVER. You hear me? Was I clear enough?"

"I'm done. Done being treated like trash. Done working just so you two can live comfortably while I survive on the scraps of my own paycheck. Dad, forgive me for breaking my promise — but I'm done with this hell."

* * *