It's my marriage night. I don't want to do this. I'm nineteen and I have to get married to someone I don't even love which my parents set me up with before I was even born. Li Wei sure is handsome, but I don't love him that way. He's like a brother to me, that's not what I call love. I have a gorgeous red dress on, but I would've preferred to wear it for someone else. All that to unite two incompatible families that hate each other more than a dog hates a cat. I would've preferred to be asked about that guy before marrying him.

"Mother, I'm ready!" I called her with a fake smile.

"You look like an angel, honey." My mother says before hugging me and saying "I love you." softly, with tears falling from her gentle eyes. What she didn't see, though, is my angry face in her back.

"I love you too. You'll always be my perfect exemplar little mom. No matter what happens." I couldn't say that to my stepmother, who I also titled the most detested person of the family with my brothers. My parents, though, don't have the same vision of her. Only I know what she's capable of.

I don't really know why she's so horrible with me, after all, she's a mother like mine and is also an angel with my parents. I always thought she was making plans against us in her free times. I walk, holding my mother and father's hands, in direction of my groom to officially make my worse nightmare my stepmother and have a stepbrother and stepsister. I'm not happy about it, but I have to make my parents proud, for once in my life. After Wang Min, my groom and I are finally and officially married, I go back to my hotel room, where I sleep with my mother, stepmother and stepsister. When I come in, I don't know why, but it smells weird.

"Do you smell that?" I ask to my mother, who obviously smelling it too.

"It smells like potato oil, like when I do French fries for your father." Mother says.

I stop minding it. We have a dinner to attend. My mother wants to land me a dress she wore for her first business meeting with her investors. She was my age and my height apparently. My mother says she always sees herself in me. It makes her happy, because her sons don't exactly remind the same things to her, but to father.

"Linlin! Are you coming! We're going to be late!" My mother asks, not knowing that behind the bathroom door, I'm clearly struggling with the dress.

When I'm finally ready, I exit the bathroom and we try to open the door. It's locked from the outside. It's locked with the key of the room. We're locked in our room! We call for help not to be late when we see the sprinklers in the room start.

"Disgusting! That's not water! It's an inflammable chemical!" Mother tells after getting some in the mouth.

We turn around and see the room's carpet in on fire. We realise the smell we thought was oil is, in fact, what we thought. There's a sudden explosion, effect of the oil and I fall asleep. An eternal sleep. I'm dead for unknown reasons.

***

I feel a hand touching mine. Is it possible to dream in our death? Who am I asking too?

"Linlin? Are you okay?" I hear my mother murmuring.

I don't think that my mother's voice would be so realistic in a dream. I open my eyes and see myself hidden under a blanket. Then, I only have one question. What am I doing in my fifteen years old birthday party with my mother near my bed? I look at my hand. I'm real. Then it hit me.

"I was reborn." Is what I don't say.

I try to stand up, but my mother is holding my arm for me to stay in bed. I can't believe Xin Anran could've gone that far to kill me. I have to make plans for my Revenge. That's all I'm thinking about. Revenge. I will have it. I will make them pay for what they have done. A sudden headache hits me.

"Are you okay, honey?" Mother asks.

"I'm very sorry Aunt Li. I didn't make it on purpose."

I turn my head, but I already know who's talking to mother. Wang Meixing. My stupid stepsister. I don't know why, but she's always been searching a rivalry between us. She's 21 years old. I don't know why she absolutely wants to compete. I open my eyes and see the white walls of my room.

"Are okay?" Mother repeats.

"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry." I finally answer.

I remember the first time I lived that moment. Meixing made on purpose to hit me with some fake sword we were battling with. I admit the idea wasn't good, but the prize was worth the injury. Anyways. A critical moment is coming. Grandfather is moving to London to increase his company's power. What he doesn't know, it's a plan orchestrated by Xin Anran because grandpa also hates her. Grandpa has nothing to do in United-Kingdom. He is going to come in soon. I can't let it happen, or I know I'll never see him again before my death. Xin Anran arrives in the room in fake panic and asks if I'm okay in screams and yellings.

"She's fine Anran. It was just an accident." Mother calmly says.

That, I'm not sure. It's now that Anran is going to announce grandfather is gonna leave. Grandpa is the leader of it's own company, like my two brothers and my stepsister. But me, I didn't decide yet. I really want to create a business but after my father, it'll be me. I try to remember my grandfather's face, but I can't. It has been so long.

"Hey Lin. I heard about what happened. Are you okay?" he says, patting my head.

"Yes, I'm fine. It was just a little accident. That's nothing." I answer with calm, even if I can't believe he's there in front of me again.

"So. Your grandfather has news. Tell them, father." Anran announces.

Is she in a hurry or what? It's like she wants him out of his own house now. Right now.

"Anran, thank you. Linlin, your stepmother said the truth. At the end of this week, I'm leaving for London to make my company grow in another social siege." He says.

I try to seem surprised and try to simulate crying. I see grandpa making a sign to the others to have a minute with me.

"Linlin, don't be so sad, I'll come back in a short time." He tries to comfort me.

"Don't leave grandpa, you don't need to go there to make your company grow. Isn't family so important to you?" I say.

"It is, but I've had difficulties with money lately." He looks at me cry and realize the absurdity of the thing. "Maybe your right. Maybe I give too much importance to money and not enough to family." We hug and he gets out of the room.

I succeeded at my first mission. Keeping grandpa here. I stand up and go to the kitchen to take my mother's chicken noodles she made for me. I remember this sweet taste on the chicken. It has always been my favorite. I finish eating and get back to my room. I open the door and see Anran waiting for me.

"How honorable is that move you did for your grandfather." Anran says.

I decide to act innocently and pretend to agree with her fake ugly smile.

"Oh... That's nothing, I love grandpa so much... That's what we do for family, I guess." I say, staring at her despicably.

"Yes, I guess so too, but you know... It was your grandfather's decision in the first place. Maybe that's what he thought was the best for you, to show a model." She says, spitting the last word like any hypocritical person would do.

"I don't think so," I say, opening the door for her to start heading out. "because if he really thought it was the best decision, he would've changed it for nothing in the world. Not even for me. Trust me. I know him better than anyone." I pursuit with a mean tone.

She gets out and I jump on my bed, my phone in the hand to call my best friend from school, Jin Yu to tell her what just happened. She has always been my 'teacher' when it came to talking. I used to throw words at people's face instead of really shutting their mouths. I'm hit by a sudden headache, while which I have visions of my previous life. I hear Anran and Meixing's voices cursing on us, wishing us to go to hell from the outside of the hotel room's door. I 'wake up' and try to get up and find my way to the bathroom. I weigh myself and realize I'm fat again. I get down on my knees in front of the toilet and put my finger deeply in my throat to make myself throw up. It should be okay this time. When I get out of the bathroom, I make sure nobody sees me. My mother has been trying to fix my anorexia problem for so long, I'm scared of her reaction if she finds out I still have a problem.

***

That afternoon, I meet Yu at the commercial center to buy dressee for Su Lin's party this weekend. Su Yang is the best. Her family is nice to everyone and she learns from them very fast. She might just be fifteen years old, she's the most mature of all my friends. Su Yang's parents have a clothing line. Apparently, we're close enough to her to have privileges around the stores. We enter the store and a Mister comes to us.

"You must be Mei Lin and Jin Yu? We were waiting for you any minute. Your dresses are ready. Your friend Su Yang spent much time designing them. I hope you like it." He says.

Before we can even say a word, he walks in direction of the back of the store, where the 'VIP' treatment is accorded. There are five plastic mannequins standing tall on a platform making a circular form.

"Which one is your favorite?" The guy asks.

"I like this one." I'm pointing at a gorgeous dress. The top is blue and shiny, but it goes darker and darker as it becomes a skirt, which is light purple. I'd bet the bottom falls directly on my knees. Su Lin knows me better than anyone else.

"And I prefer that one." Jin Yu points one dress to the right. Its style is very different as mine. It's all black with sleeves and multiples belts just below the chest. It must fall take on the floor in the shape of an oval, like a wedding dress when the bride advances towards the altar. Shortly, not my style.

"Great! You can try them on. The cabins are just over there." He says, showing us the big changing cabins.