Hi, let me introduce myself

I am Jerry here for You. you know what I am a kind of person that I even don't know , it's funny right .

I know but I am here to talk to you, I am not In person to you but always together. I don't know what to wrIte In a novel. I am just trying. As for you if you want you can write about yourself . you know what there's more person like me . Like I am very confused about everything. Specially my feeling. I know its boring to read right..

Once, I wAs in some problems and at that time my old friend was there. When I needed someone. so at the timebeing I was facing panic attacks, anxiety and was always frustrated. I needed Someone to talk and he was there. it's a good starting right..

And it was a good starting after that I talked with him every day. sometimes I waited for him to came or some time I reached out to him. You know a person You can hold on to is what I needed. As for me, I didn't have any best friend from childhood. Everyone talked about their best friend and I didn't have any so I wanted someone to come all along. Then he wans a old friend, and recently we were talking with each other Like our listener. So he became my best friend. At that time I faced something, I think you have also faced that or right now facing it. A boy confessed me 2 years ago for the first time . And he was like insane he was continuously doing that again and again. So I actually felt bad for him that I am refusing him all the time. He is going through heartbreak. So I told him to be just friends. But after he was telling me he loves me a lot, or he was trying to brainwash me. So I was very frustrated and that time it was exam. So I wasn't being able to read . That exam was horrible for me. The people I love to talk, I was not even talking to them. They were telling me I have changed. So I had a feeling that if I could disappear. But if you have this kind of feeling then you should not to that person. yeah, you feel guilty but you matter sweetheart. To me, to everyone . If someone tries to brainwash you then it's not love any more its obsession. And sweetheart obsession is not love.

So after that, I told my friend about this, and he said to me. Not to talk to that boy. Then I blocked that guy .and if you are in same then you should block them too.

Thanks for reading . I hope you liked it. And I forgot about that but now let's call my best friend TOM

if you want to tell some things you don't know or you are confused so you can ask here I I'll try my best to tell you .

I talked to tom every dayy,, and I got attached to him. I didn't know that,, or I don't believe in this kind of thing like falling in love or getting attached. So it was new to me. One day tom said to me that he have a crush on me,, I was very surprised to hear that. Like you alSo have some friends that you can't even imagine them to be in love with you. So he was alSo Like that. I was so scared at that time.I dIdn't give him the answer he wanted,, but before I go offline he again asked me to answer. Actually I was thinking at that time, as you know when Tom said that it was a turn that if I said yes then we will be together for a while but after that we don't know what will happen or if I don't answer him then his behaviorwill change towards me. And so I did, I did not have him the answer at first. But after some time it felt like he has changed. And I did not want to let him go. You would had felt it One time it was like a note I like

How difficult it became when' You can't let them go And also you can't be their'

Isn't, what do you think, you can say that he was cute to me. You know what. When You think a boy Is cute to you. Then sweetheart you have fallen in love. It's not a just crush It's pure love. When you don't like his face But the way he treats you And his behavior towards you.,, And it was same feeling for me. So someday later When the change occurs. I told him that I'll accept him. After that it was going okay. But a thought come to my mind if he broke up with me Then we'll be stranger. And the person I can't let go will become a stranger creeped me out. So I told him everything I was thinking and told him to became my best friend. It was very complicated right.

You know that I realized that I love him so late. When the person have already gone

By the way,after being my best friend it was going fine. And unknowingly I fall for him, and Actually I didn't want to tell him.but we talked with each other like our comfort zone.

I loved it but again some days later he directly told me that he loves me, and again I did the same. This time I don't know what happened. But then a little by little his behavior changed totally. I was so frustrated that crying became my daily routine. Then a problem again came to me. That guy again came to me and told me the same things again this happened. And I told Tom everything. Now Tom has already changed. I don't know what happened to him. Tha he is behaving like that. sweetheart if it happens to you then be sure not to love someone more then yourself.

As I said before , Tom was a very good guy . I didn't know that he would ever confess to me. You know what some time you feel like. If you have never known this it would have been much better . I also wish that if I did not know this we were still be friends . By the way there came the thing when I had a problem with tom and that guy and also at my school a guy was very disturbing me and I had some family problems. A senior was at least there for me. I am really thankful to her. You know sweetheart you and I are not bad we should remember. We are also human we have feelings we also want a listener . sometimes you actually need it. If you can find that you are in love you should try to tell him / her. They deserve to know and you deserve to tell. And all my things was because of my forwardness . If t I had a little more understanding with my feelings I would have told him. But it's okay. If he is happy

Btw, then I told him he has changed a lot. He doesn't talk to me like before,, and it was a feeling were wHen he was not talking to me,, I felt like, what have I done wrong. I told him to talk to me,, but he said he has changed himself. And that word hit me hard. I massaged him two hundred time I remember And he just saw it and never replyause of my long distance I don't know anything about his whereabouts. Then again Iassaged him he just ignored me . it's like I don't know why we don't talk but we don't talk to each other anymore. it hurts, but It was a time that I can never forget. sometimes you have to let go your loved once.

at that time my mental health was very bad. so I called my senior and told her everything. She said, let go, he has found someone else. You don't MAtter to him anymore. he is telling you that he is not interested in you anymore. You are hurting yourself. don't do this. It's bad for your mental Health. And I know that too but love is blind. Don't think that sweetheart you and I have two eyes right..

Okay, don't let anyone treat you like this. You know what , I knew these things before,, but I didn't believed in It....... until It was my turn

I cried every day and one day I cried hard until my headache gotten worse.

But You should take care of yourself. Love isn't everything. It's right that these feeling is like a fantasy or a dream but when you wake up it will fade

Then I didn't call him or texted him. I Don't know what will happen or Something. But after all of this you will get better like before. don't worry .....

if the night doesn't come . Then how will you know the sweetness of the day ... ^_^